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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/somonne
Review Requests: OFF
634 Public Reviews Given
I'm good at...
Adapting my review style according to the nature of the writing.
Least Favorite Item Types
Sci-fi; Paranormal; Religious; anything longer than 3000 words.
I will not review...
Erotica
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh, goodness! This is the essence of sadness - with a difference.

On the face of it, Sid must have had a friend with him to whom Sid dictated the contents of his letters.

The letter dated 24th December was not necessary. The sickest of Sid's humour presents itself in this letter. It seems he wanted to taunt his wife.

(It crossed my cynical mind that if, in fact, Syd did survive the war, he had a perfect alibi to go off with another woman!)


I think, after all, I'll take this with a pinch of salt and just say, "Funny and very well written! I enjoyed your story."





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review by Gita
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a perfect Tyburn poem.

I like the humour in it (though I feel your pain).

The descriptive words are in the superlative form, words that a child would use when boasting. They lend a lost of emphasis to the poem.

Thanks for introducing me to this form of poetry.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Getting Lucky  
Review by Gita
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I should have looked more carefully at your genres. The end of your poem astounds!

You capture the pitiable nature of George and the boring rhythm of his life very well.

The following simile is beyond good: "like a woodpecker at full throttle"

The theme of playing cards fits well with the story. I, being unfamiliar with the supernatural, used to think that there was no worse fate than being trumped, but "...the long tail that curled around from behind her, pointing at him with its arrowhead-shaped terminus" staggered me.

The whole story is told in excellent style.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by Gita
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
Is this a biography of your mother?
5
5
Review of LIFE  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a lovely, happy, life-embracing poem. I particularly like the wording of the first line.

Your poem reveals the fact that you have risen above the previous impediments to enjoying life to the full. One can sense a feeling of freedom at your sense of letting go.

It's interesting that you do not make any reference to a conscious decision to break way from the restraints you felt The experience of freedom to love life and not care what others think of you seems to have unfolded naturally. Was that by any chance related to your maturing with age age?

You say that this is a work in progress and I have taken cognizance of that. I am sure the poem will reach perfection


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
The distant past is a good time to have chosen for this melodrama. It allows for the possibility of the ink well drying up and time for the dust to collect, emphasising that the nature of the relationship. The word "brittle" also gives an idea of the fragility of the relationship. So, too, I think, does the word "faux", no matter its actual context.

The first stanza indicates that something of value to the writer lies between the dusty covers of the book, and of course the reader is soon disabused of that notion. The repetition of the first stanza at the end of the poem, with "ever" being replaced by "never" is effective in its sadness.

7
7
Review of White Paper  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
In this poem is the white paper a pretense that hatred does not exist?

It seems to represent the fact that

"...we are blind
To the other color to show their mind"

It's interesting to note that you mention more than once that hate (or hatred) is a choice. To this I would like to add my opinion that hate or its counterpart is very strongly influenced by example from parents. Do you agree?

Your poem is well constructed and well though out, making good use of rhyme.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found this dialogue very interesting. It is more than a simple conversation if one considers it from a psychological point of view.

The men try to keep each others spirits up, but the bottom line (figuratively and literally) spells out their pain and and their worry.

It's a good piece of writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your message is clear: his very heartfelt eulogy leaves no doubt that Professor Kalam has your adulation and that of many, perhaps most, Indians.

I have noted the rhyming at the end of your lines and also like your vocabulary. My favourite line is the last one of the poem, and I like the philosophy contained in the following lines:

"Meditation and pondering releases us
from earthly fetters and chains"

The lack of rhythm in some places disturbs the flow of your poem, but otherwise it is an excellent eulogy.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Rushing Roulette  
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The imagery used in this poem is very stark, the colours - black and red - very dramatic.

I like the upsetting metaphor of roads being black rivers of death and the unsettling metaphor of cars being metallic beasts.

There is a palpable sadness surrounding the event, even though there is no let-up in the harshness of the poem.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Christmas Pudding  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can see it, I can smell it, I can taste it and I can feel the stickiness (But I can't have it! *Headbang* Ah, the blue bowls. You remembered them?

Though I don't know whether they do, the details of this g√Ęteau seem to come from a childhood memory, so vivid are they.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (2.5)
This is an interesting story. I like the ending: "THE END?..."

I don't think it is the end, as the boy and girl enjoyed the experience, for the most part.

The characters in the story are probably living out a scenario which they secretly feel they need. They feel the need a change of identity, a change of gender, which is neither uncommon nor wrong.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of Toothache  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
This glimpse into just a few hours of the life of a mother with her little boy and baby is only too familiar. Oh, to have two miserable little ones, to cope with their fears, pains and miseries is not easy. It's a part of my life that I'm pleased is over.

It takes self-sacrifice, patience and wisdom to see properly to the needs of even one child at a time!

Tommy deserves credit for being a brave boy. Magic and lollipops work wonders too. Though one is not real, and the other will not help Tommy's teeth, they help parents and kiddies through

Hullabaloo, you couldn't have written this without parental credentials.

Thanks for taking me back.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of As clear as wings  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your accurate long-time observation of cats is again apparent. Added to this is your imaginative streak.

I get a sense of the cat's one-upmanship.

The contrasts appeal to me: The cold, stone gargoyle never lived nor moved. The cat is alive and warm, and moves nimbly, with great flexibility.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Adolescent Flash  
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I am not a pro at writing nor at reviewing, but pick up a good writing style in this short piece.

I know you intended it as simply a "flash", but think it needs just a little more context to make it's meaning clearer to the reader.

I can resonate with a seventeen-year-old boy pounding down the stairs for a nice bite to eat (Pounding and eating are typical activities of a boy at that age!)

You have a vision of the father sitting nearby. Perhaps just one more sentence would round up the story. I am thinking of a glimpse into the father's feelings or the current relationship between the boy and his father.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of The Proposal  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your lighthearted poem tells a complete story. It is humorous, and a fun read.

The rhythm is consistent for the most part, but the iambic meter goes wonky in parts. Here's an example:

"She finally pulled her skirt down
And scurried to her feet
Her face was pretty red by then
Just like the proverbial beet"

It could be easily improved, like this:

"At last she pulled her skirt down
And scurried to her feet
Her face was pretty red by then
Like the proverbial beet"







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of The Fire  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your 500-word story has a lot of impact. It comes to a climax quickly and deflates quickly. This reader pondered, to the last line, how the situation would end.

The pyromaniac is not evil, but it seems he pays for his disorder with his life, only because of the goodness in his heart.

Extremely well told.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review by Gita
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well, here's an example of why we should "live every day as if it were your last"!

Your story is a stark reminder of the scourge of dread diseases and a good portrayal of a victim and what goes through his mind. I do so hope that the victim is not you, but it shows such insight that I should imagine you have seen a story or stories similar to this playing out.

One can pick up a parallel between the doe and the victim.

The bit of humour in this piece is a welcome relief but one cannot escape the sadness and the regrets.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (3.5)
I was really interested to read about home visits by teachers to meet the parents, and to see the circumstances in which the student lives.

I never realised until reading your article and the attached report card, how much the teacher needs to interact with students, particularly the poorly performing ones, to give them a bit of extra help and show them that their teacher cares.

Above all, I've gathered, is that a student needs someone to want the best for him - someone who cares about him.

Thank you for introducing these ideas to me.

I can see that you are making an effort to write in English, even thou your home language is probably not English.
20
20
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love is a word that I think about daily, as I become older. (I'm a 70-year-old woman within a content marriage of forty-five years. We have two healthy and self-sufficient adult sons.)

I would not want to live with any man besides my husband. But even in these seemingly ideal circumstances I question what love is.

My husband and I recently retired at more or less the same time. We've been "living together", in the real sense, all day and all night for months on end for the first time ever!

"Do I love him?" I asked myself. "I am content to have him around. He's not perfect (and neither am I). But do I really love him?"

I decided that I needed to define love before I could answer that, and so I was thrilled to read your views. What resonated most strongly with me was the following paragraph:

"Love is the ultimate form of respect that I can show to another human being. For the most part, it is non-refundable. Like I mentioned, it is a commitment. The only way I can ever renege on my love for another would be if that person were to change into something unrecognizable from the individual that I learned to love. And even then, I am not sure that could happen. For someone to change that drastically, they would have to experience great changes in their lives, endure unthinkable things. Who would I be if I were to abandon them because of their weaknesses, because of the damage suffered, because of their loss of self? Never will someone need your love more than at that moment. Their very soul hangs in the balance. How can you ever turn away?"

As my husband aged, I realised that I had do all of this, especially now that he's at a vulnerable age, and I do. He's given me good reason to, for, in his own way, he has always shown me that he loves me.

We don't talk about or philosophise together on what love is. That sort of thing is not in Leon's nature. We share some interests, and are gapingly distant when it comes to others. We have both forgotten our manners on occasion and broken the rule holding our tongue when we ought to, as well as other rules. But our marriage stays intact.

Believe me when I say that I read your essay to the last word.

I say that I realise that I am one of the luckiest women in the world and am grateful to the 'n'th degree.

Thank you for this essay. It has opened my eyes further than I ever expected from any source.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I see this as a relevant commentary on vaping, rather than as a comedy.

"Vaping, as smoking did, attracts those easily persuaded." This is true, and as with ordinary smoking, drug use and the use of alcohol, unfortunately it becomes additive, as you state later in the piece.

I like the sarcasm in, "Also, vaping is better for the environment as a whole. Which, of course, is the number one concern of vapers."

You explain, without actually mentioning the word "manufacturer", how manufacturers draw in the vapers: Their product must appeal to the sense of sight, smell, and to the customer's personality. It must make the customer feel good about himself. Thus is the nature of capitalism.

You tell the reader that peer pressure too, encourages vapers.

"No one tells them how addictive a little pod can become. No one tells them about the mood swings and headaches they will have when they are unable to hit their vape all day. No one tells them how dependent they will become on a little piece of metal to ease their stress, ..." No, of course not. Money has to be made and who cares about the victims? Not the manufacturers, that's for sure! This is very sad. Actually, maybe some parents do warn their youngsters, but what's a parent's advice - when one is a teenager - compared to peer pressure?

What you have written is sad, but true.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Tickle Torture  
Review by Gita
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Oh, Shnuzo! I do hope that your poem is not based on the truth. To me, too, tickling is torture (unless I am the torturer, because then I don't feel a thing!) *BigSmile*

Tickled till you pee? That could be me *Worry*.

Why are siblings nasty to each other? What's the psychology behind it. Who gains in the long run, the perpetrator or the victim.

Never mind. It's all about kids being kids and it's also about poets entering competitions on poems for children!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Clouded  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
The language in your poem conveys well your very heavy heart.

You seem to have self control and strength (which often help each other out).
It's apparent that you don't want to burden the world with your trouble/s and the couplet,
"I cannot drench the beautiful things here
I cannot drown the beautiful things here"
reveals this.

I refer to the repetition of "It does not pour outside" This shows a strong will.

The repetition in the poem is effective.

It is well written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Pumpkin Ghosts  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Congrats on the win, Joylife! The poem's wonderful!
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25
Review of Home Fires  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
Here's a review from an up and coming expert!

I see it all in focus now that I have grandchildren.

I bent over backwards to give to my children what I didn't receive: wise parenting. I didn't know how to go about it, simply did my best.

The close-up I've had of good parenting is through watching my children raise theirs. They do it exactly as you say it in this poem.

I wouldn't have realised, in my early adulthood, that when things go wrong for adult kids they still need those (figurative) plasters and kisses.

Your poem is very sweet and your understanding enviable.









*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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