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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/somonne
Review Requests: ON
623 Public Reviews Given
I'm good at...
Adapting my review style according to the nature of the writing.
Least Favorite Item Types
Sci-fi; Paranormal; Religious; anything longer than 3000 words.
I will not review...
Erotica
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your message is clear: his very heartfelt eulogy leaves no doubt that Professor Kalam has your adulation and that of many, perhaps most, Indians.

I have noted the rhyming at the end of your lines and also like your vocabulary. My favourite line is the last one of the poem, and I like the philosophy contained in the following lines:

"Meditation and pondering releases us
from earthly fetters and chains"

The lack of rhythm in some places disturbs the flow of your poem, but otherwise it is an excellent eulogy.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Rushing Roulette  
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The imagery used in this poem is very stark, the colours - black and red - very dramatic.

I like the upsetting metaphor of roads being black rivers of death and the unsettling metaphor of cars being metallic beasts.

There is a palpable sadness surrounding the event, even though there is no let-up in the harshness of the poem.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Christmas Pudding  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can see it, I can smell it, I can taste it and I can feel the stickiness (But I can't have it! *Headbang* Ah, the blue bowls. You remembered them?

Though I don't know whether they do, the details of this gâteau seem to come from a childhood memory, so vivid are they.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by Gita
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
When I saw the word "naartjie" in your title I guessed straight away that you had South African origins, and just had to read what you had to say.

I have to agree about Advocaat. Like you, I love liqueurs and agree that it is the best eggnog of all!

I had forgotten that van der Hum is naartjie-based. Must try it again.

I'm still here in South Africa and it is still an exquisitely beautiful country. My husband and I are in our seventies and here to stay. Our children, I'm pleased to say, are settled elsewhere.

Thanks for popping in to say hello!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (2.5)
This is an interesting story. I like the ending: "THE END?..."

I don't think it is the end, as the boy and girl enjoyed the experience, for the most part.

The characters in the story are probably living out a scenario which they secretly feel they need. They feel the need a change of identity, a change of gender, which is neither uncommon nor wrong.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Toothache  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
This glimpse into just a few hours of the life of a mother with her little boy and baby is only too familiar. Oh, to have two miserable little ones, to cope with their fears, pains and miseries is not easy. It's a part of my life that I'm pleased is over.

It takes self-sacrifice, patience and wisdom to see properly to the needs of even one child at a time!

Tommy deserves credit for being a brave boy. Magic and lollipops work wonders too. Though one is not real, and the other will not help Tommy's teeth, they help parents and kiddies through

Hullabaloo, you couldn't have written this without parental credentials.

Thanks for taking me back.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of As clear as wings  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your accurate long-time observation of cats is again apparent. Added to this is your imaginative streak.

I get a sense of the cat's one-upmanship.

The contrasts appeal to me: The cold, stone gargoyle never lived nor moved. The cat is alive and warm, and moves nimbly, with great flexibility.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Adolescent Flash  
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I am not a pro at writing nor at reviewing, but pick up a good writing style in this short piece.

I know you intended it as simply a "flash", but think it needs just a little more context to make it's meaning clearer to the reader.

I can resonate with a seventeen-year-old boy pounding down the stairs for a nice bite to eat (Pounding and eating are typical activities of a boy at that age!)

You have a vision of the father sitting nearby. Perhaps just one more sentence would round up the story. I am thinking of a glimpse into the father's feelings or the current relationship between the boy and his father.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of The Proposal  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your lighthearted poem tells a complete story. It is humorous, and a fun read.

The rhythm is consistent for the most part, but the iambic meter goes wonky in parts. Here's an example:

"She finally pulled her skirt down
And scurried to her feet
Her face was pretty red by then
Just like the proverbial beet"

It could be easily improved, like this:

"At last she pulled her skirt down
And scurried to her feet
Her face was pretty red by then
Like the proverbial beet"







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of World Woes  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
As a believer in climate change and the terrible toll it has already begun to take, I think it was a good idea of yours to promote awareness on the subject.

Yours is a simple poem, well rhymed and pertinent.

"while looking for products for their hair" the sceptics and the deniers feel that they are entitled to continue to reap from nature for their own vanity, then throw away the plastic bottle of whatever for their hair.

I like the last line of your poem, "but they need to listen to live".





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of The Last Laugh  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
So, what's it all about, this life into which we were born?

I tend to agree with you, so we might as well keep ourselves happy and help others to be happy, to make it as worthwhile as we can.

We don't like the last laugh to be on us, but it's beyond a single person's power to make a significant change.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of The Fire  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your 500-word story has a lot of impact. It comes to a climax quickly and deflates quickly. This reader pondered, to the last line, how the situation would end.

The pyromaniac is not evil, but it seems he pays for his disorder with his life, only because of the goodness in his heart.

Extremely well told.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review by Gita
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well, here's an example of why we should "live every day as if it were your last"!

Your story is a stark reminder of the scourge of dread diseases and a good portrayal of a victim and what goes through his mind. I do so hope that the victim is not you, but it shows such insight that I should imagine you have seen a story or stories similar to this playing out.

One can pick up a parallel between the doe and the victim.

The bit of humour in this piece is a welcome relief but one cannot escape the sadness and the regrets.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (3.5)
I was really interested to read about home visits by teachers to meet the parents, and to see the circumstances in which the student lives.

I never realised until reading your article and the attached report card, how much the teacher needs to interact with students, particularly the poorly performing ones, to give them a bit of extra help and show them that their teacher cares.

Above all, I've gathered, is that a student needs someone to want the best for him - someone who cares about him.

Thank you for introducing these ideas to me.

I can see that you are making an effort to write in English, even thou your home language is probably not English.
15
15
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love is a word that I think about daily, as I become older. (I'm a 70-year-old woman within a content marriage of forty-five years. We have two healthy and self-sufficient adult sons.)

I would not want to live with any man besides my husband. But even in these seemingly ideal circumstances I question what love is.

My husband and I recently retired at more or less the same time. We've been "living together", in the real sense, all day and all night for months on end for the first time ever!

"Do I love him?" I asked myself. "I am content to have him around. He's not perfect (and neither am I). But do I really love him?"

I decided that I needed to define love before I could answer that, and so I was thrilled to read your views. What resonated most strongly with me was the following paragraph:

"Love is the ultimate form of respect that I can show to another human being. For the most part, it is non-refundable. Like I mentioned, it is a commitment. The only way I can ever renege on my love for another would be if that person were to change into something unrecognizable from the individual that I learned to love. And even then, I am not sure that could happen. For someone to change that drastically, they would have to experience great changes in their lives, endure unthinkable things. Who would I be if I were to abandon them because of their weaknesses, because of the damage suffered, because of their loss of self? Never will someone need your love more than at that moment. Their very soul hangs in the balance. How can you ever turn away?"

As my husband aged, I realised that I had do all of this, especially now that he's at a vulnerable age, and I do. He's given me good reason to, for, in his own way, he has always shown me that he loves me.

We don't talk about or philosophise together on what love is. That sort of thing is not in Leon's nature. We share some interests, and are gapingly distant when it comes to others. We have both forgotten our manners on occasion and broken the rule holding our tongue when we ought to, as well as other rules. But our marriage stays intact.

Believe me when I say that I read your essay to the last word.

I say that I realise that I am one of the luckiest women in the world and am grateful to the 'n'th degree.

Thank you for this essay. It has opened my eyes further than I ever expected from any source.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I see this as a relevant commentary on vaping, rather than as a comedy.

"Vaping, as smoking did, attracts those easily persuaded." This is true, and as with ordinary smoking, drug use and the use of alcohol, unfortunately it becomes additive, as you state later in the piece.

I like the sarcasm in, "Also, vaping is better for the environment as a whole. Which, of course, is the number one concern of vapers."

You explain, without actually mentioning the word "manufacturer", how manufacturers draw in the vapers: Their product must appeal to the sense of sight, smell, and to the customer's personality. It must make the customer feel good about himself. Thus is the nature of capitalism.

You tell the reader that peer pressure too, encourages vapers.

"No one tells them how addictive a little pod can become. No one tells them about the mood swings and headaches they will have when they are unable to hit their vape all day. No one tells them how dependent they will become on a little piece of metal to ease their stress, ..." No, of course not. Money has to be made and who cares about the victims? Not the manufacturers, that's for sure! This is very sad. Actually, maybe some parents do warn their youngsters, but what's a parent's advice - when one is a teenager - compared to peer pressure?

What you have written is sad, but true.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Tickle Torture  
Review by Gita
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Oh, Shnuzo! I do hope that your poem is not based on the truth. To me, too, tickling is torture (unless I am the torturer, because then I don't feel a thing!) *BigSmile*

Tickled till you pee? That could be me *Worry*.

Why are siblings nasty to each other? What's the psychology behind it. Who gains in the long run, the perpetrator or the victim.

Never mind. It's all about kids being kids and it's also about poets entering competitions on poems for children!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Clouded  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
The language in your poem conveys well your very heavy heart.

You seem to have self control and strength (which often help each other out).
It's apparent that you don't want to burden the world with your trouble/s and the couplet,
"I cannot drench the beautiful things here
I cannot drown the beautiful things here"
reveals this.

I refer to the repetition of "It does not pour outside" This shows a strong will.

The repetition in the poem is effective.

It is well written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review of Pumpkin Ghosts  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Congrats on the win, Joylife! The poem's wonderful!
20
20
Review of Banned!  
Review by Gita
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Because selling it on the black market would bring in tons of cash?
21
21
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I haven't finally decided whether you are an atheist or not, but if you were to put a gun to my head, I'd say you are (that is if I didn't want to die).

You seem to be casual about "beliefs" and "opinions". I got that from the only other piece of yours that I've read, which examines how people feel, see and rate any gender and its multifarious whims.

I would say that here you're telling people that if they believe in God, that will help them along their path.

I believe that your motto could be "Each to their own."

I'd like you to read my short essay on Atheism.

Gita


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Winter is here  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is driven by deep and emotions, excellent expressions, and an intimate relationship with nature.

Since you native tongue is not English, I would like to comment on your use of "for good".

"for good" means "forever", "permanently", "never to return" (eg. he has gone for good).

I think you should write something like "for the good of mankind" "for the good of all".

I will rate your work bearing in mind that it is not your native language.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Aloneness  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
I could be completely wrong, as all I know about you comes from your bio.

Since you've had a stroke and therefore have some limitations, my feeling is that this the person who was alone and wanted nothing more is you.

There seems to be a contradictions in this the following lines:

"Yet, he played the role of quiet observer.
His life was void of caring or observing"

Was he or wasn't he an observer?



b)

"So the world abhors aloneness."



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Flooded Mind  
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You have intrigued me, you've piqued my interest, so I am going to comment on your poem.

Your poem is a mystery, a confusion and an experience but you have talent.

Your turn of phrase is poetic and, yes, your mind is flooded with ideas.

I wish to read more of your work, and soon! *Smile*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Autumn Life  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Many thoughts and emotions about life lived and still to be lived abide in the mind of a person in the autumn of their life.

Autumn leaves falling referring to years gone by is a good metaphor, and if the leaves are seen as beautiful and inspire gratitude in the viewer, he is fortunate to have had some happy experiences and wise enough to acknowledge this to himself.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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