*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/somonne/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
Review Requests: OFF
634 Public Reviews Given
634 Total Reviews Given
I'm good at...
Adapting my review style according to the nature of the writing.
Least Favorite Item Types
Sci-fi; Paranormal; Religious; anything longer than 3000 words.
I will not review...
Erotica
Public Reviews
Previous ... 3 -4- 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ... Next
76
76
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your memories of Spinnaker’s Lunch Counter are take me directly into the place, so well are they conveyed in this nostalgic account.

You portray the assortment of people frequented the place well, which emphasises its popularity well.

I enjoyed going back into the 1950s with you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
77
77
Review of Sarajevo  
Review by Gita
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I'm going to be brave and say that I do not know what the fire-breathing animals are. My interpretation is that the species is more intelligent than man and that, unlike man, the "animals" live a peaceful, happy life.

Your poetry is excellent.

I particularly like the following simile:
"Mothers ...
...frightened as drops which hurry down raincoats".

I could see those drops of water scrambling downwards as fast as they could!"

"Sarajevo" is a suitable title, the city being associated with destruction and suffering on a huge scale over centuries and in recent times.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
78
78
Review of Ruby.  
Review by Gita
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This story is very well contrived, with what the reader assumes to be a fantasy of Ruby closely paralleling what had indeed happened in the past and what was happening in the ward as Ruby comes out of her coma.

Bringing a television reporter and broadcast into the story was a smart move as it helped with the telling of the story.

This is an excellent and mystifying tale.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
79
79
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (3.5)
I agree wholeheartedly with your opinion that if too much pressure is put on a person (let's call this person 'John') or if others' expectations of him/her are too high, then John might not reach his potential.

My guess is that you, like me, have had others pressurising you and not giving you space to expand at your own rate. As you say, a person's chances of succeeding are enhanced by support for what he/she wishes to do.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
80
80
Review of Good or bad  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (3.5)
Since you ask the reader to give his/her thoughts, here are mine:

I believe that most people are good people, wanting to have a peaceful life and not meaning harm to anyone.

Judging others is common, but often a judgement is not based on enough knowledge of the person. For example, without knowing that someone is poor and going to bed hungry every night, a person might judge another to be stingy when he doesn't contribute to a charitable cause.

"What about terrorists, murderers, rapists and sadists?" you might ask. These extremists are the people who do no belong under the category of "most" people. What is more, even some extremists might have severe problems which lead them to commit heinous acts. And, I might say, even these people probably have some good in them - for example they may be loving parents.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
81
81
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your title is perfect for the content of your poem. (It's an oxymoron that I had never come across until reading it here.)

You make it so understandable that if life were perfect we would not be able to appreciate it.

Note: It's = It is
You're = You are
Your - belongs to 'you'

Thank you for an interesting and thought-provoking poem.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
82
82
Review of Night Court  
Review by Gita
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I am extremely impressed with the way you incorporated those four required words so smoothly, suitably and cleverly into your poem.

The poem had a message, too - one worth remembering. (The psychologists are right: the electronic age is distancing people from people!)

I rate this poem a winner!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
83
83
Review of Break  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent writing!

Waiting for more when the mood grabs you.
84
84
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love this, as it describes my two cats to a t!

How can people say cats are arrogant. The love people, and love to sleep together as close to each other as they can get which is, as you mention, entwined.

Your poem is full of imagery. I can see the tan and grey fur mingling and I can feel the coldness of the winter - possibly a reason for their wanting so be so near to each other. I can also hear their purring, which is evidence of their comfort and happiness.

This is a short poem which conveys a lot about cats' sleeping habits.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
85
85
Review of Game Models  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
Imagine a 70-year-old trying to understand your latest game mode That's me!

It's a game, right? My understanding is that rather than just mimic, it advances and improves on one's style of living.

You write about contributions from other people. So, if I'm not mistaken, that implies it's a an open source program that you've built.

Where is the division between the game and the flesh of people running their lives? Can we only do that on screen, or can we insert the program into something we wear daily and use it in reality?

You say "The rest was history". Should I have heard about this in the media?

(m I perhaps character in your game - that you are controlling my life?)

Now, here's a challenge for you: Throw in baby-making and baby-care, rearing of children, adolescents getting unhinged, tertiary education, marriage, disease and celebrations. If you can sort all this out you could get a Nobel Prize.

****************


To put in a nutshell what I really think about your story is that what you wrote about is probably theoretically possible, but that in fact you are pulling the reader's leg.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
86
86
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (3.5)
I identify strongly with what you have written. In fact, about a year ago someone whom I had considered to be my best friend, suddenly dropped from her life. I established that she is well, but nevertheless won't answer my phone calls.

Now I have reinvented friendships with people - a very important thing to do.

You are correct: "Friendships are good to have", so it was interesting to read your article.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
87
87
Review by Gita
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Although I am not an American, I realise that you refer mainly to "health care systems" in the USA.

Your reasons for being dissatisfied seem valid.

I think that the following wording should be broken down into two sentences:

"The greatest downfall of modern society is medical, even with the new health care systems there are still people who fall between the cracks because they are homeless or do not have a study income."

Use a full stop after "medical" and start a new sentence with "Even".

"There are threats to cut the Medicare, what happens if Medicare is cut or the co-pays are raised."

"Medicare" should be the last word in the first sentence. The next sentence should start with "What" and end with a question mark.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
88
88
Review of Fate  
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I have a suggestion (only a suggestion) for the last line: "We urgently need galvanising."

In each stanza you refer to threats to our planet and people.

The wording which I think is particularly relevant includes:

"We become our asteroid"

"Will our purpose
be stifled with pride?"
This makes me think of a certain president, which, of course, may or may not be your reason for including these words.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
89
89
Review of Friendly Dark  
Review by Gita
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
What a chilling and macabre tale this is!

You spare the reader no morbid details.

The man being interrogated seems to have no qualms about changing his story, nor does he seem to have any fear. The dark angular form seems to have a lot of influence on him. It also seems to have power. You give the reader no idea of what it is. I suppose that this is the paranormal aspect of the story.

I wonder how a person can be stabbed in the stomach from behind. I suppose it can happen in a paranormal story!

I question the the use of the present tense, "are", in the following sentence:

"I rested my hands on the cool metal of the table in the interrogation room. Besides, there wasn't much I could do even if I wanted. My hands are bound, as were my feet."

A change of tense is sometimes permissible but I don't think there is any reason for it in the quoted sentence.

A spelling error: "hemmoraged" should be "hemorrhaged".

This is a story well told.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
90
90
Review of There is a Field  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (3.5)
This story is beautiful and touching. It is sensory (you see, you smell, you feel and you hear things in the wood) and full of lovely detail.

It is interesting that the incident of the pheasant and coyote makes you think and philosophise about the fact that all creatures must die at some time and that you then meet an old man who who talks to you about the same subject.

The last sentence gently rounds up the story.

Your grammar leaves a little to be desired, but you have a talent for writing. So, carry on writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
91
91
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
The first sentence is sad but is a beautiful simile. It's interesting to contemplate the existence of shadow without light.

The second sentence is a metaphor, and I love, "It creeps into her morning cup of coffee". This is very visual. It's easy for a reader to identify a cup of coffee (or tea). However, we feel its restorative value as opposed to anything sinister.

I note many contrasts in this piece, among them: light and dark; smiles and sorrow; tears and solace.

The paragraph is full of images and it is well written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
92
92
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a subject that I have been meaning to explore.

Forty two years ago I met a young man with whom I thought I'd like to spend the rest of my life. I felt very at ease with him, and we had a lot in common. Conversation came easily. He felt the same, and within three months we we engaged.

My story has a happy ending (though we are not quite at the end). We raised two children and continued to enjoy each others company. Together, we learned to enjoy sex - though you might be surprised to hear that that came after the children were born!

The main ingredient for a good relationship, after one has found the right person, is to give of your time and effort to your partner. Both partners must do this.

Yes, there are some rough times, where we might argue or even fight, but we are lucky enough to be able to forgive and forget.

We are arguing more now that we are both retired, because we spend so much time together, I guess. That must stop, or everything I have said I'll have to withdraw.

(We did meet by coincidence.)

Perhaps my paragraphs three and four will help you, although I know "it's different stokes for different okes"!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
93
93
Review of Still Sleeping  
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is an interesting monologue, and gives rise to thought.

We learn that Sharon's present 'partner' is a murderer; it seems that he also lives with the delusion that he has "fixed" everything. If so, I pose the questions: Is Sharon really happy? Why is she always sleeping? Sleeping a lot can be a symptom of depression, but this poem is so sinister that I fear her partner is feeding her something to keep her subdued.

I think her partner is kidding himself that that are both happy. It is obvious that her partner is mentally unsound.

This is a good poem, telling a strange and sad story, and leaving the burning question as to why Sharon sleeps so much. You leave the reader pondering about the fate of Sharon, most of all. We never her her side of the story, and we don't like what he tells us his side if the story.

The whole truth is not revealed, and the truth, I fear, is not propitious. Yet is was a good idea to leave the story exactly where you did.

I have a correction for you: In line five the word 'were' should be spelled we're (we are).




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
94
94
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Here's a prisoner who doesn't sound bitter. He believes that he belongs in his solitary cell.

If this man was actually sentenced for a minor infringement, the harsh punishment of solitary confinement must have been meted out because he can't stop himself from punching or stealing or mouthing off at the guards (while 'doing time').

The poem is light-hearted, and I love the first paragraph in which the prisoner tells us which things he didn't get on parole day. The prisoner is so very casual about it, you made me smile!

I think that your numbers (100, 9, 12) should be in word form since WdC is an English writing site.

I have just one other issue with this piece of writing:

Is "A hundred more times the bare bulb overhead will keep me awake when I would rather be dreaming" not a contradiction of "A hundred more times for lights out, a hundred nights of being plunged into darkness..."?

I enjoyed the read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
95
95
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like this story.

The chaos in the restaurant is well described, and so is Deborah's experience. Everything regarding the fire, the furniture and the diners is convincing.

Your style of writing is good in that you convey many details without being too wordy.

The humour at the end is unexpected. I'm not quite sure why it's there, though. Is it to show that Deborah is OK or not OK? On second thoughts, the story could fall flat without that ending.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
96
96
Review of Zimbabwe Rain  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (5.0)
The use of the letter 's' in the first stanza contributes to the feel of sizzling heat.

In the second stanza it reinforces the feel of sweat.

I love the words, "Over here, you whisper, come this way" quietly, but desperately, urging the the clouds to approach.

The interaction of the earth with the rain is magnificently described.

Your imagery and choice of words combine to make this a powerful and splendid poem which is a pleasure to read.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
97
97
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.0)
There's an energy in your poem which convinces me of your sincerity. The meaning is clear to me.

The free verse is very loose. By that I mean it has very little in the way of rhythm or other structure - the length of the lines, for instance, varies greatly.

However, there is consistent rhyming at the end of each line, and this has the advantage of increasing the pace of the poem.

I like the line: "This could have been a story about taking an easier road", as the wording is central to the theme of your message.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
98
98
Review of Driftwood  
Review by Gita
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I see your torment as being due to the death of your baby in utero or during the birth process, hence you words, "the pain of losing a child".

The carrot that dangled in front of you did not give you what it promised, and so you "will never get to see his face, nor hear his laugh, nor kiss his cheek".

What is a cruel fate!

There are many references to your how you were let down including, "would never come to fruition", offered a "tease" instead of a "glimpse of the future", The "wreckage" (what a sad way to remember your baby) was ripped from your own body.

Well, so far I have quoted you, but that helped me to understand your suffering and the dramatic metaphors that you use to mirror this. As you say, there is nothing to aid you.

It seems, also, that you might have been bearing a child that (that you knew you might never see alive) for some time, since you write, "And slowly it was, an excruciating snail's pace."

You have convincingly conveyed how distraught you are, to the extent that the reader is also disturbed.

The wording of your poem is dramatic, which is not surprising, considering the intense pain you continue to endure. I understand your appeal for the hell to stop.

Lastly, I would like to mention your wording: "a memory I never actually had." The contradiction in terms is, unfortunately, very apt.

This is a powerful piece of writing.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
99
99
Review of Survival  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.0)
The subject matter of your story is interesting, and the scenario is scary.

Putting aside the fact that economists are of the opinion that "trillions of dollars in federal debt" is "OK", the upshot of the US declaring bankruptcy is plausible in your story.

You put into perspective the difference between the wide chasm between "getting a date on Friday night and making rent by the end of the month" and a fight for survival.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
100
100
Review of Nighttime  
Review by Gita
Rated: E | (4.5)
You made me smile, as I didn't expect such an ending at all! In fact you kept me guessing as to the nature of the being that was outside at night. At first I assumed it was a human being, but verses three and four started me thinking it could be something else.

In addition, verses five, six and seven give no clue whatsoever that you were at your own house, which adds to the surprise element.

The fast rhythm (iambic meter) is in keeping with the suspense that builds up.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
277 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 12 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/somonne/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4