You mention a lack of roots; you take on a slightly different moniker; you want to claw your way back to where you were; you want to make a new start.
This poem speaks to me of a momentous event or change of some sort that you experienced for a period of about three years.
Many people have dips in life in which they stray but, in my experience, good and basically strong people who have never fallen right off track, do eventually rise from the ashes like the phoenix you mention.
You say you are a new you, and since you aspire so much to writing again, I am sure that you will. Welcome back to this site!
I read your review and found it to be enlightening, interesting, and well- written.
In our newspapers movie reviews tend to be short, so I did a bit of research, first reading other people's reviews of the same movie, and then looking for a definition or details of a good review. The following link gave me the information I was looking for.
Yours is an excellent review. You relate the story in an easily readable style, and mention what you found meritorious about the film. You make the film sound really appealing and worthwhile seeing. You even mention that it's suitable for the whole family - something that is useful to know.
I have one query only about your grammar: In the phrase, "showcases a young romance to a girl that will eventually become his wife", shouldn't 'to' be 'with'?
You have given a comprehensive glimpse into a lifetime.
I believe that almost everyone can identify with the facts and experiences, good or bad, you mention.
About the idea that "Today is the beginning of the rest of your life", for the privileged (like those on Writing.Com)"today" is an opportunity to make the best of what's left of our time. That can bring positive and happy thoughts.
But for those who are very ill, or subject to misery imposed on them for any reason, the thought of making the best of the time left to them might not be applicable.
As a mother and a grandmother, I have experienced the same smells. My guess is that you are a young mother, but you cope.
Your newborn is obviously loved. It is true that breast-fed babes have more explosive poops than formula-fed babes.
Perhaps you didn't anticipate that your baby would be such a "stinker"!
I like the use of "stinker" in both the first line and the last line.
The last verse: Baby and you are happy. But all of a sudden there's another nasty blast! I like the last line with a little surprise package after baby's giggles.
Your article interests me. Not only am I a migraine sufferer, but also suffered a head trauma at the age of eleven! Your story sounds very familiar to me.
I am on anti-epilepsy tablets daily. I've never had a seizure, but my specialist prescribed them to "calm the brain".
I also reach for "too many" painkillers when a headache strikes, and anticipate that it will turn into a migraine. I'm seldom wrong.
There is a grammar mistake in your article that I'd like to bring your attention to: "intensive purposes" should be "intents and purposes".
The usual expression is, "To all intents and purposed ...". Hope this is of help to you.
I do hope that the last question is rhetorical - that you do not let other people and circumstances define who you are.
It makes me sad to think that people pose questions such as those in your poem. Hopefully they will one day have the self confidence not to worry about what others' opinion of them is
I have noticed that you have given yourself the name, "lifelearner" and from this poem I can see that you are, in fact, exploring answers to questions about at least one aspect of life.
The poem is rather philosophical.
It is also comprehensive, in that you look at the concept of happiness from many angles.
This is a wonderful blessing. Your concerns go beyond the usual wishes; in fact it's possible that many women (and men) don't even consider the importance of what you see as high priority.
What is more, your blessings go beyond "woman" herself, to parents and family.
This recipe for harmony is worth remembering.
I do query your use of the word "reverie", though, as I know it to be a noun - not a verb. Perhaps I am mistaken? Alternatives such as "value", "cherish", "relish", "delight in", "take delight in" or p e r h a p s even "revere" could be used.
Of course your writing on this site will be read! There is no distinction between nationalities!
We're all here to write and everyone on earth is welcomed to this site with open arms.
Your first line is good, but you can un-shrivel now, because you are doing it okay; your direction is fine.
You've expressed your fears, your needs, and your hopes. You may express anything and Writing.Com will guide you along.
I'm impressed that at the age of eighteen you are so aware of who you are and what you want to accomplish.
You seem to have good insight into life - that one cannot choose into which society or family you are born, that it takes determination to succeed, that there are limits to what is safe, and that following one's heart's desire is the path to success.
You've done well in your studies, and I wish you the very best of luck and happiness.
Your poem speaks to me of genuine love, sharing and caring for each other.
To me, the most significant line is the first one. Every emotion is expressed as a consequence of your girlfriend having waited for you. I read into this line a sense of relief, from which flows delight.
I love your likening of a new year to a calendar hanging on a wall. That is such a good metaphor!
The old year, complete with its picture of playful cats is dumped in a blink and replaced with the year of frolicking, rowdy puppies. What an original way of saying, "December is at an end. I've got a new calendar for 2019, with pictures."
I wonder what the following year will be. The year of .........?
Calendars such as yours are still typically found in many households, but this poem is far from typical. It is realistic, unusual, funny, and sad at the same time.
The words "pink" and "petals" are associated with prettiness, lightness (of weight) softness, and gentleness. These two words set the tone for what's to come, and this reader is not disappointed.
A lovely atmosphere is created by the third line.
Your metaphor of the petals dancing links to the qualities of pink petals - the ones I listed above.
I love the metaphor of an Eastern wind conduction the dance.
My favourite line is, "Heaven's buoyant blossom falls,"
You are fortunate to have a general physician such as the one you describe. When I was a child, fifty years ago, our family doctor was like the man you describe.
Nowadays GPs allocate fifteen minutes to each patient. There is barely enough time for an examination, a diagnosis, and the writing of a prescription for medicines. All the questions I intend to ask him escape me in this rushed atmosphere.
I suggest that in the second verse you should remove the comma after "fight".
The lines:
"Consults with a warmth and compassion that's real,
Diagnoses conditions and knows just how I feel" describe the essence of a good family practitioner.
I found this story gripping. From the beginning I wondered what was coming next. It was well thought out and, like its protagonist, logical and systematic. Your vocabulary is good.
I particularly like the last line.
I'd like to highlight two examples of weak grammar in your story:
1.
"Davis made his way down the city block and made a right."
You have used "made" twice in the above sentence. Try to avoid repeating words in a sentence.
2.
"New York City had thirty-six thousand officers—many of which didn’t wear a uniform, but all of which had access to a radio."
You have used the word "which" in two places in the above sentence. When referring to people, use the word "whom" rather than "which". (Mind you, I use British English. If "which" is commonly used to denote people in American English, then I apologise for the correction.)
Finally, it is interesting that Davis understands the existential connotations of his work.
You have expressed how strong a mother's love is towards an embryo or fetus in her womb.
The baby was very much wanted, so the words "Hijacked dream" are appropriate to the loss of life of the baby, especially as a hijacking experience causes shock and horror.
The metaphor of your dream "crumbling away" is sad and indicates that there is nothing you can do to stop it.
It's amazing how a would-be mother can be pushed to self-hatred under such circumstances, when the death of the fetus she is/was carrying is not her fault at all.
I extend my sympathy to you on your very sad loss.
Except for the last three lines, your poem rings true to me.
I do love the line, "Parts of my heart crumble off like a cookie drenched in milk."
I also like the imagery of your heart having holes in it.
If you've not met the right partner for yourself then living with a heart full of holes is preferable, in my opinion, to giving your whole heart away. (You asked the question, so I've given you my answer.) Those holes are only temporary. Your heart will grow together again.
The last three lines disturb me because I don't believe there's truth in them.
With regard to line, "No, I’ve never been fully enamored by a single soul", I think you will want to change the preposition "by" after reading the quotation below.
"If you're crazy about ferrets, you're enamored of them. It is less common but still acceptable to say "enamored with." But if you say you are enamored by ferrets, you're saying that ferrets are crazy about you."
"I fall as if im drifting in and out of daydreams" It's a typo, I'm sure, but "im" needs to be corrected.
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