|Hi J.L. Henry!
Just giving you a review as part of your Lucky Bag!
First of all, this story is pretty well written. It has the classic scary components - the bad weather, the creepy library setting, the shady character... nice set up! I really liked the build up in the beginning.
I noticed a couple inconsistencies you might want to fix:
1) Sound travels slower than light. You should see the flash before hearing the rumble. Right now, you have the thunder first.
2) The lights go out, so there is no power... so how does Finn manage to make the narrator a cup of tea with his one cup machine?
I was also wondering if there might be a better title. "A Book I Found in the Library" implies that the character simply came across it. When I read the title, I expected the plot to be: character goes into a library, picks up a random book, opens it, and something terrible happens from opening the book. But that doesn't happen. The character doesn't just happen across the book - she is given it by Finn.
Also, I was wondering why Finn has to have stains on him - just for the scary effect? Was he painting? If the stains aren't paint, what are they from? Why would he have stains on him BEFORE he actually stabs her? Unless they are purely for setting, they really aren't serving much of a purpose. He's a library worker, not a painter.
I would like to know more about the book - how did it come to be, what are it's properties, it's origins? Why does Finn have it? Who created it?
I hope you find these comments useful!