This is your official review for "The Six Feet Under Contest"
First of all, I really like this idea for a book - it's very interesting, the idea of ghosts that offer different perspectives. And intertwining that with a tragic romance - some great material! I also really like the names you have chosen.
There are a lot of oddly-worded sentences in this story. I would try reading it aloud, or having someone else read it aloud, so you can hear the places where the wording might be slowing down the flow of the story.
Some typos I caught:
"Oh, my dear", Ms. Pamber... - comma should be in the quotes: "Oh my dear," Ms. Pamber...
...numbingly said "Are you even real?" - add comma - ...numbingly said, "Are you even real?"
The only person's who's world... - should be "whose"
flakes seized to exist - should be "ceased"
"Do think they would care..." - should be "Do you"
I really liked the metaphor of the snowflakes - how each individual one melts as soon as it touches the ground, but multiple snowflakes combine to create a new world, a new meaning to life and death. That was my favorite moment in this story and the most effective element.
Really interesting idea, I hope your book is going well and wish you luck.