This review is brought to you by the Member-to-Member Raid. These are only my opinions.
I really liked this Short Story very much. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it. It was that good. At least I think that it was.
The Story Itself:
This story was a little hard to read because it's only one large paragraph. Personally, I would have split it up into several paragraphs. I think that it's easier to read if it split up like that.
Location, Location, Location:
The setting for this short story is a female's bedroom. Not sure what her age is. So, I'm not sure if she's an adult or younger. From what I have read she reads like she's an adult, though. A little more detail about this setting may have answered that unasked question.
Of course, Bonnie is the main character in this short story. In fact, she was the only one in it. True, whoever she saw was also in it. But we don't know for sure who or what they are. I liked that you gave Bonnie a name. A lot of writers don’t do that. Personally, I try to give all my characters a name. Especially, the main ones. I think that it makes them feel more real if they have a name.
How They Spoke:
There was no dialogue in this short story. So, I'm not going to comment on that. But there was a lot of thinking, though. Most reviewers don't think that thinking is dialogue. I do. It's just internal instead of vocal.
Grammar, Spelling, Missing Words:
I don't think that there is anything in the rules that says that you shouldn't be writing a short story in only one paragraph. I'm not too good at grammar. So, I could be wrong about this. You might want to check into that.
Any Last Thoughts:
I'm curious about something. Whether this female was an adult or younger, why didn't they start screaming for help when they first started seeing someone else in their room?
If you're interested in reviewing any of my work you will find my Short Stories, Blogs, etc. in my PureSciFi - And the Oscar goes portfolio. I have some in my PureSciFiPlus portfolio too.
Thank you for sharing this story with the WDC. And sharing it especially with me. Keep on writing great stories like this one.
PureSciFi aka spacefaction
PureSciFi - And the Oscar goes