spidey's (spidergirl) Reviews

Public Reviews

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#4871087

Review of The Drama She Writes  

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:38am

Length:   800 Characters | 670 w/o WritingML

Hi LightinMind I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts As a birder, I loved the mentions of birds! It really brought me into the story! I like that this had a clear message/theme/lesson. Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. I really thought the bird imagery was going to mean something in the end. I'm curious as to why so many birds were mentioned in such a short amount of time? I did feel the story was a bit preachy... but that could just be me. Conclusion 4.0 - Nice story! Thanks for sharing it! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871085

Review of The Proposal Business  

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:32am

Length:   1,156 Characters | 1,034 w/o WritingML

Hi DS I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Clever story! I liked the clash of culture/language theme in this that creates the central tension/conflict within the story. I could kind of see the ending coming, but it was still funny and clever! Nice set-up and ending. This is a well-structured story in my opinion! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. I did feel the ending was predictable (but still enjoyable). I wonder if there could have been something to distract the reader or make them question if the ending they think is going to happen will really happen? I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, and with the word count limit, I'm not sure it's even possible here. I just try to come up with some type of suggestion in every review, and I do think the reader can see the ending coming here. Conclusion Fun story! Thanks for sharing it! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871084

Review of The Accidental Architect  

Review by spidey

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:26am

Length:   952 Characters | 813 w/o WritingML

Hi Emberly Gray I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts What a great opening! The first lines really drew me in! I liked the fast pace of the story. It made it easy and enjoyable to read. Great last line, too! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. I guess my only suggestion would be to add just a little more detail. It's tough, because adding too much (or more secondary characters) would detract from the overall tone, but I guess I maybe wanted a tiny bit more? I try really hard to come up with at least one suggestion, and that's all I could come up with, so well done! My Rating 4.5 - Excellent story! Thanks for sharing! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871083

Review of The Watch That Stayed Broken  

Review by spidey

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:26am

Length:   757 Characters | 627 w/o WritingML

Hi WriterRick I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Wow, this story really hit me. It's beautifully written and so impactful! "Later came with sirens." - What a powerful line! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. Normally I would suggest more descriptions, of characters, setting, etc., but honestly I think your story is perfect the way it is. Anything more would detract from its impact, I think. Well done! My Rating 5.0 - Excellent story! Thanks for sharing! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871082

Review of One Mistake After Another  

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (3.0)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:26am

Length:   1,806 Characters | 1,599 w/o WritingML

Hi PureSciFi I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts I love the title and intro! I'm a sci-fi fan, so I was excited to read this story. You've done well to create a world here with a definite tone. I liked the character names and the names for items on the ship. I personally have a hard time coming up with names, so I thought you did well! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. For me, the story didn't seem to have a conclusive ending. Maybe the word count limit stifled what you could do with the story, but I found myself wanting a conclusion at the end... Maybe that was just me. A few typos/areas of confusion for me: I'm not understanding why this part is repeated: Because I, we adults, need your help if we want to find out what this sickness is and how to end it before anyone else is affected by it. It appears and then appears again a few paragraphs later. Another female Young One can’t stop looking at all the violence that is happening on the black Image Monitor she has been looking at. Using the phrase "looking at" twice in one sentence is a bit awkward. We thought that looking at the worse of these Sleep Sickness victims I think "worse" should be "worst" here My Rating 3.0 - Good story! Thanks for sharing this! For me, the writing could be tightened up a little and a definite ending would help this to be a more satisfying read, but I love the world you've created here! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871080

Review of Paws and Second Chances  

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:25am

Length:   873 Characters | 715 w/o WritingML

Hi Humming Bird I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts What a delightful, touching story! Your writing is excellent and there were many lines that I loved I loved this line: "Everything is a verb if you're brave enough," and, of course, "But second chances are the name we give each other." I think it's really hard to tell a romance story in a such a short amount of words, but you've done it so well! It's admirable! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. I have no suggestions! I think this story is perfect! My Rating Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871079

Review of Foot In Mouth  

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:24am

Length:   899 Characters | 764 w/o WritingML

Hi Thankful Sonali Quick Pick! I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts I love the opening lines! They made me smile and made me eager to read the rest of the story. Great job setting a great voice/tone at the start! I love how this reads as if the main character were telling a story to the reader. It's a nice touch! Great ending! I was really wondering where the story was going! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. I try really hard to come up with at least one suggestion, and I'm having a hard time thinking of any for this story! I found it quite enjoyable! Conclusion Such a cute story with a great tone! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871078

Review of The Experience  

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:24am

Length:   896 Characters | 762 w/o WritingML

Hi Sumojo I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Clever story! I like how this comes full circle! I really appreciated the characterization of the main character, Bill. I think you did well to create a character I could really "see" when reading. He had a definite style of speaking and I liked the physical descriptions. It really pulled me into the scene. Well done! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. They think it’s easy money, but they don’t seem to realise. it’s all in the planning. I think "it's" should be capitalized here My Conclusion Good story! Thanks for sharing it! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871076

Review of The Fox, the Ant, and the Rabbit  

Review by spidey

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:23am

Length:   902 Characters | 777 w/o WritingML

Hi ~Odyssey I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Interesting fable! I loved the characterizations of the Fox, Ant, and Rabbit! I think fables are excellent ways to convey messages. I loved the moral of the fable! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. There were times that "ant" was capitalized and other times it was not, and I was curious about the inconsistency... I suppose I wanted just a little more depth, but often fables are very short. I think I just wanted more to the story, to Fox learning the lesson/moral of the story. I wanted more of the Fox's thought processes maybe? Conclusion Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871075

Review of Quotation Contest Entry 4/2026  

Review by spidey

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (3.0)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:23am

Length:   1,015 Characters | 865 w/o WritingML

Hi Seabreeze I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts What a cute story! I liked that this read like a fairytale or a folktale. You've done well to create a world for your characters. I liked the character names! It made them memorable and unique! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. They had what appeared to be, a leader. I don't think a comma is needed here How did she get that name; I think a question mark would work better than a semi-colon here Well, since Sniff had somewhat of sonority in the tribe, I believe the word "sonority" should be seniority I also think this could be strengthened by a title fitting the story rather than a generic "contest entry" title. Conclusion Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4871074

Review of Soapbox Racing on a Dare  

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Jun 5, 2026 at 8:22am

Length:   867 Characters | 721 w/o WritingML

Hi 💙 Carly: Happy New Year I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Great characters and dialogue! I felt pulled into the story immediately. I wanted to know what was going to happen next! Strong writing throughout! Well done! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. There is no way we are doing to get this put back together before race time tomorrow I think the word "doing" should be "going" (typo) if fact a better set than the one we had devised. I think "if" should be "in" here (typo) Conclusion Other than a few minor typos, this was perfect! I enjoyed it! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4841687

Review of Twin Trouble  

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Oct 29, 2025 at 3:46pm

Length:   982 Characters | 852 w/o WritingML

Hi Thankful Sonali Quick Pick! I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Such a cute story, and I think I connected with it particularly because I'm a twin! My sister and I got up to our fair share of mischief, but maybe not quite as much as the pair in this story! I found it an interesting choice not to name the twins, but to refer to them as "Twin #1" and "Twin #2." Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. To me, this didn't quite fit the traditional story format, which isn't really a bad thing, but I was waiting for a central conflict, resolution, etc., type story, and it didn't turn out that way. I did like the way it circled around at the end, though! My Rating 4.0 - Great story! I enjoyed this! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4841686

Review of The Inept Butler  

Review by spidey

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Oct 29, 2025 at 3:46pm

Length:   983 Characters | 833 w/o WritingML

Hi Sumojo I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Such a cute tale! I couldn't have guessed how this would turn out from the start, but it was a perfect ending! I loved the ending! I loved the interaction between the characters, and I like how this is a comedic twist on a ghost story! Well done! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. close to her part time barista job I think "part time" should be hyphenated part-time Matilda muttered as she tipped the last few drops out of the milk carton.” I think there's a misplaced quotation mark at the end of the sentence. My Rating 4.0 - A few typos, but a lovely story overall! I enjoyed reading it! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4841682

Review of The Great Coffee Catastrophe  

Review by spidey

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Oct 29, 2025 at 3:38pm

Length:   940 Characters | 812 w/o WritingML

Hi WriterRick I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Great opening line! It drew me in and made me curious about the story! I totally agree that Tuesdays are the worst day of the week! Great writing! I particularly liked chaos described throughout the story. Very effective! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. On one hand, I had a hard time believing people wouldn't have asked for their specific coffee orders, but then if they hadn't had their coffee yet, they wouldn't be thinking straight! (M power went out early in the morning last week and I had to drive to get coffee! It was kind of scary.) My Rating 4.0 - Fun story! I liked it! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4841677

Review of I don't speak girl!  

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (3.0)

Given:   Oct 29, 2025 at 2:42pm

Length:   994 Characters | 876 w/o WritingML

Hi LightinMind I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Cute/funny story with a twist. Your writing is strong throughout the story. Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. I was a little confused as to which religion the pastor was representing. The main character mentions the Vatican, but I don't think Catholicism has "pastors." I'm not very versed in all the denominations, though. I didn't particularly like the gender stereotypes, but I guess that was the point of the story. For me, it just didn't give a unique twist on it, besides a transgender person being the butt of the joke. Not my cup of tea, but I'm sure there are readers out there who would find this story funny. My Rating 3.0 - Thanks for sharing! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4841675

Review of Journey Through Genres: Comedy  

Review by spidey

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)

Given:   Oct 29, 2025 at 2:38pm

Length:   902 Characters | 783 w/o WritingML

Hi John I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Great opening line! Okay, this is really funny, but I'm actually allergic to apples! I could identify with Irma's disdain for the fruit! Excellent writing! I really enjoyed reading this! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. For me, the font was a little small. I had to zoom in on the page to read it. Maybe that's just my eyes, though. I would also recommend coming up with a title for the story. Even "Irma Appleseed" would be a fitting, eye-catching title. My Rating 5.0 - I don't have any suggestions to strengthen this story. I thought it was perfect! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4841674

Review of The Haunted Doorbell  

Review by spidey

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Oct 29, 2025 at 2:36pm

Length:   1,008 Characters | 890 w/o WritingML

Hi David I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts What a cute story! I really liked this description: Their throne? An upside-down crate. Their crown? A bent lampshade. Their kingdom? A crumbling front porch where spiders paid rent. You manage to create such a full story with a clear tone in such a short amount of words! Well done! I loved the last line, too! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. If I were pressed to come up with a suggestion, I'd have to suggest making it a little longer. Maybe describe the town a little, the weather, the season (it would fit perfectly in October, I think!), something like that. Though I do think it works well as it is! My Rating 4.0 - Cute & clever story! Great writing! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4841673

Review of Keep Them Laughing  

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (3.0)

Given:   Oct 29, 2025 at 2:35pm

Length:   1,023 Characters | 895 w/o WritingML

Hi PureSciFiPlus I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Cute story! I liked the interactions between Fran and her family, how their motivations and ideals were different. I liked the happy ending! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. I found some of the dialogue to feel kind of formal and not very realistic. Dialogue is very tricky, and I think it could be a little improved here. “Are there any sightseeing sights along the way? You know how much I like looking at these sights.” For me, the word "sights" is used too many times in these two lines of dialogue. You might want to re-word it so it doesn't sound repetitive. My Rating 3.0 - A fun story that I think could use a little strengthening, but I enjoyed it overall! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4841671

Review of The Uninvited  

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Oct 29, 2025 at 2:30pm

Length:   749 Characters | 640 w/o WritingML

Hi Odessa Molinari I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Cute tale! I liked how the story came full circle at the end. I liked the last line! Good dialogue and characters descriptions. I really felt like this had a definite tone, and I had a clear vision of the story throughout. Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. A cute story! It didn't make me laugh out loud necessarily, but I do see how it fits into the comedy genre! My Rating 4.0 - Nice story! I enjoyed reading this! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4758564

Review of Unbeknownst To Us  

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (4.5)

Given:   Jun 24, 2024 at 10:41am

Length:   1,944 Characters | 1,787 w/o WritingML

Hi PrincessThai I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Great descriptions. I really felt like I could visualize everything being described. Also, great character writing. I had a good feel for each of the characters and their relationship. I've found that it's hard to do that in a limited word count in a short story, and I think you've done well here! I like the use of repetition in this paragraph: Nothing could prepare them for what was to come. The golden egg started to crack. The sound of flying hummingbirds grew louder. And the vibrations grew stronger. The stronger it got the more the egg was cracking. No sound of cracking came from the egg. But you could clearly see cracks forming. And then it stopped. No sound. No vibrations. Normally, repetition can often distract me or it seems redundant, but here I think it's used well for effect. Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. larger than a Volkswagen bug I think "bug" should be capitalized Greg refuses to carry a gun. But he does have his own weapon. It feels like a shift in tense here, because the rest of the story is in past tense. It just stood out to me that there was a shift, and I'm not sure if that was intentional. The crystals shattered, but then they would quickly form back To me, the writing could be tightened up just a tad by removing the word "would," such as, "they quickly formed back." Try searching for the word "would" throughout the story, and seeing if the writing could be made stronger by removing it. Just a suggestion. My Rating 4.5 - Great story and what an ending! I really enjoyed reading this! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4758562

Review of Solomon's garden  

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Jun 24, 2024 at 10:37am

Length:   1,049 Characters | 904 w/o WritingML

Hi LightinMind I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please remember that you should NOT edit your entry until judging is over and the winners have been announced as per the contest rules. Overall Thoughts Well-written and very descriptive. I found myself visualizing the story very easily. This was quite the high-stakes adventure! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. Throughout the story, sometimes "Bible" is capitalized and other times it isn't. I believe it should always be capitalized, but maybe that's not accurate? The inconsistency threw me off a little while reading. There were people here also, all Jewish How did the character know they were all Jewish? I was confused at that part. My Rating 4.0 - Good story! Thanks for sharing! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4758559

Review of Helping Sarah Remember  

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (3.0)

Given:   Jun 24, 2024 at 10:28am

Length:   2,037 Characters | 1,863 w/o WritingML

Hi PureSciFiPlus I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Interesting story! This really pulled me in and I wanted to know what was happening! Good job! This felt like a section of a larger story to me. I wonder if you might develop it into a serial story or a novel/novella! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. “Every illustration does have a story,” Betty says after looking at Jennifer. This illustration is included, but it’s a little different. I don’t think I should tell you this story because of your age.” I think this is missing a quotation mark before the word "This" “First of all, it’s not as bad as it seems. But some parts of this story may be too scary to hear at your age. Then again, maybe you aren’t.” This line felt awkward to me. Maybe you aren't what? I feel like it would have been clearer if the last sentence was, "Then again, maybe they aren't," like the parts aren't too scary. It just read a little unclear to me. Every slowly, but they were moving slightly. A typo, I think. Every Ever an image of an illustration that I got left at my museum a few weeks ago.” I think the word "I" isn't needed in this line I'm confused on the use of "illustration" when I think it's referring to a photograph? The phrase "when was this illustration taken" is repeated, but illustrations are typically drawn, painted or rendered with a computer as far as I'm aware. I could be wrong, though, but I was confused with the terminology here. My Rating 3.0 - Good story. For me, there were some typos and confusion as to terminology and the story felt a little unresolved at the end, but I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing it! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4699400

Review of Ill-Timed  

Review by spidey

Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Jun 3, 2023 at 9:41am

Length:   1,076 Characters | 947 w/o WritingML

Hi AliceLvs2Write I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts To say I was shocked at the end of the story was an understatement! I had the same reaction as the main character: "WHAT?" Well done! Intriguing mystery! I hope this is part of a larger work so I can find out what happens next! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. Maybe this was intentional, but the main character changes the pronouns she uses when talking about the mysterious woman. She calls her "she" a few times, then "they" and I just wasn't sure why she would switch it up. I know she said she thought the person was a woman, maybe she wasn't sure, but then maybe she could have used "they" consistently instead of changing from she to they and back to she. My Rating 4.0 - Great story! I'd love to know what happens next! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4699392

Review of Seventeen Deaths  

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (3.5)

Given:   Jun 3, 2023 at 9:31am

Length:   1,443 Characters | 1,290 w/o WritingML

Hi PureSciFi I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts Interesting sci-fi mystery! I liked how this felt so other-worldly, but I could also easily connect with it. I loved the interrogation scene! Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. Walking down a long constantly curving corridor, Lemmok and Pavicca nob as two different Alien races talking to each other walk by them. I think there might be a typo here "nob" nod I remember leaving Commander Windime and Pavicca after telling them what I had been able to find out with these deaths, and I was walking down the Corridor next to Command Central. The next thing I know I was waking up here and asking what happened.” I think this section of speech is missing a quotation mark at the start. My Rating 3.5 - It's tough to flesh out a story when there is a word limit, but I felt like I wanted a little more description of the setting and maybe what the characters looked like. Some of the dialogue felt a little slow to me or maybe not quite necessary. Again, it's hard to do with a limited word count, but I'd love to read more stories in this setting! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4699389

Review of The King's Man  

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (4.0)

Given:   Jun 3, 2023 at 9:28am

Length:   1,167 Characters | 1,050 w/o WritingML

Hi LightinMind I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering! Overall Thoughts I liked the intrigue introduced here! You've done well to set the scene and the drama/mystery here! I felt like there was a perfect amount of detail to set up the story. I had a good background and felt like I was in the scene. Suggestions These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit. To me, this story felt like part 1 to a larger mystery! I'd love to know what happens next! I hope you continue writing! I also felt like the characters weren't fleshed out enough, though that could be because of the word count limit. They had such common names that the two main characters sort of blended together for me, and their boss was just called, "the boss." I don't remember reading his name or a description of him at all. I think I would have liked to have a more detailed description of the characters. My Rating 4.0 - Good story! I enjoyed reading this! Sincerely, spidey My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .