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1,155 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I attempt a well-rounded review where I look at the item from a writer's and reader's perspective. I'll tell you what I liked and what I think could be strengthened. I like to think I'm a courteous and helpful reviewer.
I'm good at...
attention to detail. If there's a typo, I'll find it!
Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi, Horror, Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Satire, and more
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Religion, Sports
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Poetry, Essays
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels (I just don't have that much time)
I will not review...
There is very little I won't review. Try me! *Smile*
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Beholden

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Great story! I really enjoyed reading this, and what an interesting anti-hero!

To be honest, I had a similar thought while reading, "Why would hermits be having a convention?" *Laugh*

Great ending!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


The only thing I would suggest is possibly changing the rating to ASR due to mild derogatory words ("poop" as an insult and "stupid")

Other than that, I have no suggestions! I really enjoyed this!



My Rating


5.0 - Great piece! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



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2
2
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi PureSciFi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Interesting story! I love sci-fi, and I enjoyed the world you've created here! You've done well to create a gripping, thrilling story that keeps the reader guessing. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



The last one causing Montan to lose his balance.
This is not a complete sentence

I quickly ran up to him, and slide under him,
Change in tense. "ran" is past tense, "slide" is present tense. Tense changes throughout story

Just then they stop mumbling to each other to face me and Montan. It’s one of the female Leaders who spoke first.

"stop" is present tense and "spoke" is past tense



I can't help but think that this piece feels like a scene within a larger work. There were timesi I felt a little lost, which isn't necessarily a bad thing! It left me wanting to read more to find out the whole story! For me, the grammar and tense shifts took me out a little, but it was a good read overall.


My Rating


3.5 - Good work! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



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3
3
Review of Deadline  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Angelica-Nanoing by hand 30k

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I liked the character names! It let me know immediately that this wasn't quite the "typical" story. Great job!

Well done on creating an anti-hero the reader will root for! You've done really well wit the prompt!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


The story shifts tense a few times. For instance:
Then she looked up at the clock. Two hours left before she needed to leave for work. The project is far from done.
"Looked" is past tense, and then "is" is present tense. It made me pause while reading, and I think it could be clearer if it's consistent.



My Rating


4.0 - Good piece! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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4
4
Review of Jake  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Lovina 🐕‍🦺

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I think you set the story very well. I felt pulled into it immediately, and I wanted to know how it was going to turn out.

Great job with the prompt! I did feel for Jake as the anti-hero. Well done!

Good last line!

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



To me, the names of Jake and Chad felt kind of modern. I'm not any kind of expert in common names of the 1790s, and I know "Jacob" is an old name, but the shortened form of "Jake" felt like a modern name to me? Maybe I'm wrong, though!

I guess I felt like the story could have been fleshed out a little more, though I know it's hard when there's a word count limit. It just felt like a small scene in a larger story. I hope you develop it further sometime!




My Rating


4.0 - Good work! Thanks for sharing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey



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5
5
Review of The Jersey Escape  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi RobertJ

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Cute story! I was drawn into this story right away and couldn't wait to see where it was going.

Great description of the setting! I grew up out in the country, and I could really see and feel where this was taking place. Nicely written!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



For me, the spacing stood out. There was nothing wrong with the spacing, but it was a bit different than typical spacing for stories on the internet and Writing.Com.

The last paragraph is in italics, and I think there might be a broken tag there to end the italics.

Jersey ran right up to jack,
"jack" should be capitalized.




My Rating


4.0 - Nice story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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6
6
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Graham B.

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Awesome descriptions! Immediately, you draw the reader in with your descriptive words. I could really "see" the setting (and smell and feel, etc.). Very well done!

What a great story of loyalty and protection! I wasn't sure how this was going to end, and I wasn't disappointed at all. Nice choice!

I loved the names the main character has for the other characters! Great touch!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I found no errors/typos.



My Rating


4.5 - Great story! Thanks for sharing this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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7
7
Review of Pete and Jay  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Prosperous Snowwoman

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Cute story! I like that the ending was unexpected.

For me, it felt a bit short. I think I really enjoyed the lighthearted tone of the story, and I couldn't help wanting more!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



On morning, in early spring,

A typo, I think. On should be "One"


I think I would have liked a little more of the story, more development of the relationship between the two characters and perhaps more setting or even more of the "Grandma" character.


My Rating


4.0 - Cute story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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8
8
Review of Pocket Monster  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Than Pence

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Interesting story and I liked the main character's pets, especially that you have his thoughts in the story. It added a neat element that draws the reader in, I think. Well done!

I liked the progression/evolution of the main character in the story.



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



Am I embarassaed in front you, Gizz?”

I think this is a typo, it should be "embarrassed"



My Rating


4.0 - Interesting story! For me, it felt kind of nostalgic because I grew up playing Gameboy Advance, too! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



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9
9
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi PureSciFi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


What an interesting sci-fi story! This was really intriguing and captivating right from the start. Well done!

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I found it strange that the group would wait to figure out what they know and don't know about the planet as they arrive. I get that the information needs to be conveyed to the reader, but I would have thought that they'd do research before they landed on an unknown planet, so they'd know if it was hostile or not. Just my thoughts.

I thought some of the dialogue felt a bit unnatural, especially the young girl. Maybe it fits the story and the world you've created, but it felt a bit out of place to me. Just one readers thoughts. *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Good story! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



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10
10
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Velicity Phoenix

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Wow, this was quite emotional! I found this story to be touching and sad but beautiful.

Nice tone. Gentle and loving, great writing style here.


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



"Why that sounds like my max.?"

I believe "max" should be capitalized and you don't need the question mark and the period here. I think a period would work best.



My Rating


4.0 - Good story. I felt this was very emotional and touching. Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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11
11
Review of Cockroach Cameo  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Thankful Sonali 2nd in 30 DBC!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


What a unique idea - a writer cockroach! I really enjoyed reading this unique and well-written tale! You do really well to draw the reader in and make them feel a connection with a character that they might not normally want to feel connected to! *Laugh* Very well done!

Great story and ending! Loved it! I really enjoyed reading this.

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



I found no errors.


My Rating



5.0 - I couldn't think of a single suggestion to make. Thanks for sharing this!

Sincerely,
spidey



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12
12
Review of The Awakening  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Myles Abroad

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I thought this story was really cool! It felt like I was getting a glimpse into another perspective of our world, one that hadn't occurred to me but made a whole lot of sense! Well done!

Great clear writing, very descriptive and powerful. It drew me in and made this a joy to read. Great job!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I have no suggestions. I really enjoyed this!



My Rating


5.0 - I try really hard to think of suggestions when I review, and I couldn't think of one here. Great story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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13
13
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi HuntersMoon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I really enjoyed this story! There was such a strong bond between the dog and its owner that really came through in the story!

Great ending! I'd love to know what happens next! Maybe you could turn this into a series!

Clear, strong writing made this a joy to read! Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



allowing the recipient to feel the eand perhapshe sender
typos in this line, I think



My Rating


4.5 - I really enjoyed this entry! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



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14
14
Review of Farmyard Noir  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi kmack

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Great cast of characters! I love how you gave such personalities to each individual character.

This was really entertaining to read! I kept wanting to skip ahead to see what would happen next! Well done!

Great writing!

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


This should have a 13+ rating - "killer"

"He's been bragging that when he get's through with you,
"gets" doesn't need an apostrophe *Right* gets

I hoped he didn't break free to soon.
to *Right* too





My Rating


4.0 - Great story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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15
15
Review of My dog and I  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi WakeUpAndLive~

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


This felt really personal and touching. I could really feel the love in this!

For me, it felt a little incomplete, like not quite a whole story. I think I liked the emotional feel to it so much that I wanted more!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



No errors/typos.

I think adding a bit more to this, some plot elements like conflict and resolution might help this feel like more of a complete story. Just my thoughts. *Smile*

My Rating


3.0 - A touching essay here with clear, emotional writing. Thanks for sharing this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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16
16
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hi Twiga

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Very interesting! I don't think I've read anything quite like this, a new style and genre for me, and thanks for sharing it! *Smile* I can see how many readers would be drawn into a story like this, and you've done well to create characters that are interesting, intriguing and likable! Well done!

This seems like the start of a nice series that could really be developed and fleshed out. I hope you continue writing it!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


Your first sentence is a very long run-on sentence. It needs to be broken up into complete sentences. Very long sentences at the start of a story can make it hard for the reader to follow.


Mr. Tetokkie came into class one grey and cloudy morning, on his desk were not just apples, but nuts,berries, worms, bones and other things the various students brought from their homes.
This is an example of a comma splice, where you have a comma where a period should be. It should be:

Mr. Tetokkie came into class one grey and cloudy morning. On his desk were not just apples . . . (etc



the World was not all ine enormous ocean at the beginning of time,
I think "ine" should be *Right* one



Of all the various Cubs gathered in the classroom, one Animal Child was unable to pay attention to anything being said he was a Unicorn Colt his name was Moonbeam
This needs to be broken into complete sentences *Right* Of all the various Cubs gathered in the classroom, one Animal Child was unable to pay attention to anything being said. He was Unicorn Colt. His name was Moonbeam.



he immeditatly stopped the fight

"immeditatly" should be *Right* immediately



My Rating



2.5 - I did find quite a few grammatical errors/typos. I would suggest reading a story out loud and possibly printing it out as our eyes tend to gloss over errors on a computer screen. I would also recommend reading a lot of writings in the genre that you're going for. I think that can help with developing a style and understanding grammar, like run-on sentences and comma splices. I hope you continue working on this story as I think it has a lot of appeal to readers! I feel like it could use some work to really polish and perfect a piece like this, but it has a lot of great potential!


Sincerely,
spidey



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17
17
Review of Samantha's Pet  
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Robert Edward Baker

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Great story! I kept wanting to skip ahead to see what was going to happen! As a reviewer, I had to read through the story a second time to read critically because the first read through was truly for enjoyment. Well done!

Good, clear writing! I found no typos or errors.

I wasn't expecting the ending! I guessed something was amiss, but I didn't guess the ending! Good work!




Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



I couldn't think of a single suggestion for your story. Well done!



My Rating


5.0 - Great story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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18
18
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent article/essay. I'm also an atheist, and I think you've covered a lot of great points and information here without sounding like you're "attacking" religious folks (as we often are accused when speaking about our perspective).

One nitpicky thing - In your last section, you state that criticism of the Big Bang is used to attempt to discredit evolution, but those two ideas are not really linked or relating to the same thing. I do agree that often theists link them, though, so I wasn't totally clear if you were referring to that.

Well written and informative! Nicely done. *Smile*


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19
19
Review of Vertie's Platform  
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi PureSciFi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Nice sci-fi thriller! I love good sci-fi! For me, sometimes I get lost in the terms and names of a new world, but when it's written well, I can delve right into it, just like with this story. You have enough "new" terminology and different-sounding names to signify the "other-world" aspect of sci-fi, but not too much where you risk losing your readers. Nicely done!

I liked the mystery aspect of this, too. I really wanted to know what happened! I think you do well to build the suspense here!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



A laser bolt shot passed a shuttle.
I believe "passed" should be "past." When the word is an adverb (describing how it "shot") it should be "past" not "passed."

“Thanks, Medical. What about the rest of Vertie’s Platform?”
I was confused as to why the character was thanking "Medical" which was an area of the platform. Perhaps the character meant to say, "Thanks, Rammus." I wasn't sure about this part.

Illoni was going over supplies in Supplies.
This is totally up to you, the writer, but having the word "supplies" twice so close together felt a tad awkward. There are other words you could use for the first instance, like "rations," or "provisions" or "reserves."

“I think your right, Gorgianna.
"your" should be "you're"



My Rating


4.0 - A good sci-fi Thriller! For me, it felt like a small portion of a larger work. I was left with questions (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). The format distracted me a little bit, with the lines between paragraphs, but that's just one reader's response. Formatting is up to you, of course!


Sincerely,
spidey



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20
20
Review of The Passport  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi brom21

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


How clever! I like how you used the contest title in your story!

Very thrilling! I had to slow myself down while reading, because I wanted to jump ahead to find out what was going to happen! Nicely done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



“You have my wallet, no please let me pass through.”
I think "no" should be "now"


He stepped off and wet up a small stairway
I think "wet" should be "went"


“What is it now Alex? What kind of trouble are you in now?”
While it's not incorrect, having the word "now" twice so closely together sounds a little awkward.


I hid in bush in the corner a few feet away.”
I think a word might be missing here, perhaps "a" in between "in" and "bush"

He looked at the door than at Alex with a frown “What have you done Alex?!”
"than" should be "then" and I think a period is needed after "frown."

“Why why the police want you dead?”
Double word, and I think it should be "Why do the police want you dead?"

“Hopefully none of the have seen me,” said Alex.
"the" should be "them"

Both got into the car and Vive drove off,
"Vive" should be "Vince"

One of three men in suites
"suites" should be "suits"




My Rating


3.5 - Clever tale! For me, the spelling errors/typos distracted me a little bit, but overall this was an enjoyable read!


Sincerely,
spidey



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21
21
Review of Intuition  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi HuntersMoon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Wow, this story took me by surprise. I didn't see the ending coming at all! Nicely done!

I liked how this was a very personal "thrilling" tale for the main character. You manage quite well to pull the reader into this unique character!




Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


Excellent grammar and writing! I didn't find a single error or awkward moment.

I did wish for more emotion throughout the story, especially in the death scene. It was perhaps the word count limit that might have limited that scene, but I expected the main character to be less accepting of her mother's death. And I was confused that the character died so suddenly but "naturally." It felt very much like a scene in a movie, but not quite realistic. Maybe just one reader's interpretation. *Smile*



My Rating


4.5 - Great story! I enjoyed this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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22
22
Review of The March  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi slowmotionsunset !

This is my review for "The March [13+].

Strengths

*Bullet* My favorite part of the poem was this line: Shadows thrown by a cateracted sun. Awesome imagery with few words. I've never heard that phrase before and it caught me with its beauty and simplicity. Nicely done!

*Bullet* Good use of repetition. The repeated last line of the stanza moved the poem forward and unified the theme throughout.

*Bullet* I liked the format, un-rhyming stanzas with minimal punctuation. I think sometimes poets get caught up in punctuation, but when it is overused, it can disrupt the flow of the poem rather than help it. I think your punctuation fits perfectly.

*Bullet* I liked the change in pace of the last stanza, and I think the pace is quickened by the use of exclamation points. It fits very well. Good choice!



Title/Rating/Genres

Good title and intro. I think it fits the poem well, and the intro hints at the satire of the poem. The genres fit well, too, and the ratings are appropriate. I think you could rate the Intro "E" if you wanted. I didn't see anything "Non-E" in the title or intro.


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* I guess my only suggestion would be to add more, maybe a sequel? (which is the suggestion I tend to give when I can't think of anything else. *Wink* ) Or a series of poems with the same theme. I will definitely be checking out more poetry in your portfolio, as I enjoyed this one very much!

*Bullet* I guess I also wondered if this poem had political undertones, due to the reference to "Kalashnikov" fire (and the choice of using the word "Emperors" to describe the penguins). Was this a reference to humanity in general, or perhaps certain governments/nations? I think it's fine to just hint at something (let the reader decide what it means), but it left me wondering. So it's not necessarily a suggestion, but I wanted to let you know how I perceived it as a reader: That it wasn't entirely clear to me, but I didn't necessarily have a problem with the ambiguity, if that makes sense. *Smile*



*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - Excellent poem! I really enjoyed reading this, and I'l be checking out more from your portfolio! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey


won in an auction


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23
23
Review of Morbid Attraction  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi ♥HO HO HOOves♥

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


I loved the dark humor of this poem! I wasn't sure what to expect as entries for this prompt, and this one surprised me, in a good way!

Great form! I personally find strict forms to be quite difficult to follow while sounding "natural" and not forced. I think you've done quite well with this form and keeping a great tone throughout the poem. Good job!

Great word choices! You could have easily picked a more common word to rhyme with "day" than "quay" but it works so well and is unexpected. To me, good word choices can add a nice depth to poetry. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I try really hard to come up with at least one suggestion, and it's a really difficult task for this poem! I suppose the only thing that comes to mind is that I didn't quite "see" the photo prompt in the poem. I can absolutely see how it inspired the poem, though. I just didn't see the character from the photo in the poem.



My Rating


4.5 - Excellent poem & entry! I enjoyed reading this! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey



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24
24
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Fivesixer

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


I like the form. I'm a big fan of free verse, as I feel it focuses more on the words and tone rather than some format or rhyme structure. I think it fit well with the theme of the poem. Good choice!

Nice repetition and use of "punctuation" words, like semi-colon, parenthesis, ellipsis, etc. For me, it seemed to set up a nice conflict between the speaker and the "Internet" or the majority of internet-users who tend to neglect or ignore punctuation/grammar rules.

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I wasn't entirely clear on the "story" being told here. I wanted to know more of the motivation behind the speaker's "evil plan" and animosity toward the object (the Internet). Maybe I just wanted more depth? In any case, I enjoyed the poem and wanted more! *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Good poem! Thanks for sharing this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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25
25
Review of Surfer Dude  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dave

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Good form! I've always enjoyed reading this form. It creates such an interesting dynamic, movement through repetition. Good choice!

Interesting interpretation of the photo prompt! He definitely seems like a businessman, and I like your dark take on him!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


The poem felt a little formal to me. I'm not sure if it's the form or not, probably the form. It sort of lacked emotion, I think. I would expect to feel outrage at the criminal acts of draining someone else's hard earned money, but I think I was focused a bit too much on the format to feel that emotional connection. Just one reader's thoughts. *Smile*



My Rating


4.5 - Nice poem! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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