spidey's (spidergirl) Reviews

spidey

Review Requests: ON

1,184 Public Reviews Given

1,616 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I attempt a well-rounded review where I look at the item from a writer's and reader's perspective. I'll tell you what I liked and what I think could be strengthened. I like to think I'm a courteous and helpful reviewer.

I'm good at...

attention to detail. If there's a typo, I'll find it!

Favorite Genres

Sci-Fi, Horror, Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Satire, and more

Least Favorite Genres

Romance, Religion, Sports

Favorite Item Types

Short Stories, Poetry, Essays

Least Favorite Item Types

Novels (I just don't have that much time)

I will not review...

There is very little I won't review. Try me!

301

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#1411075

Review of My uncomfortable surroundings

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hi ezedoesit

This is my review for "My uncomfortable surroundings"

Thanks for sharing this great poem, and thanks for stopping by "Invalid Item"

!

Strengths:

What I really like about this poem is that it contains a strict rhyme scheme, yet doesn't sound forced. You've done a great job with the language of this poem!

I like that this poem seems very personal to the speaker. It is a description of the speaker, and it gives a great description. I had a clear sense of the speaker while reading. Nicely done!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

To me, this poem sounds like a great start to a poem. It just feels a little unfinished, in my opinion. You've certainly got the language down, and you have a very clear sense of what you're trying to convey to your reader. I guess I just wanted more. Perhaps a few more stanzas would make this poem complete. Just a suggestion!

Also, there is very little imagery in this poem. Not every poem has to contain great imagery, but I feel this poem could benefit from some more vivid description and detail from imagery. For instance,

I was the clown.

Perhaps if you add an adjective to this line, it would create a more vivid image to the reader.

My rating:

3.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!! You've got a great start here, and I know with a bit of revision, this will be an amazing poem!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1407954

Review of Maudo

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Hi Julian

This is my review for "Maudo"

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

I love the rhythm of this poem! If I'm not mistaken, this was written in the form of a limerick. I really enjoyed reading it!

I love the story-like quality of this poem. It tells a fable of a man and a beast, and it made the poem incredibly interesting and fun to read!

I like the simple and straightforward language in the poem. It lends to the story-like quality of the poem, and makes it easy and enjoyable to read. Well done!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1399671

Review of Despair Has Won

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi Mitch

This is my review for "Despair Has Won"

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

I love the first line! It really sets the tone for the entire poem, and I love the rhythm of it!

Great entry for the contest! This is a very dark poem that captures despair very well. Nicely done!

I like the rhyme scheme in this poem! (Contrary to popular belief, I do like rhyme!

) I especially liked these lines:

Daymares of reality.
Wishing for finality.

I loved the tight rhyme and rhythm of those lines.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

My only suggestion would be to have more exact rhymes and a tighter rhythm like the lines I mentioned above. To me, those lines were the best in the poem. Either that, or perhaps take those lines out. It really shifted the rhythm, to me, and made me want more of that type of line length and rhythm in the poem. Just my opinion!

My rating:

4.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1399597

Review of L'hiver de Langue

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Cat-Claws is 20 Years Old!

This is my review for "L'hiver de Langue"

Thanks for sharing this great poem, and thanks for entering "Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

!

Strengths:

I love the great and beautiful language and imagery of this poem! It is truly an enjoyable read!

I think my favorite line is the first line of the poem:

Sprinkle of crystal white ices fell down from the sky...

I love the choice of the word ices! It really creates a lovely and delicate tone.

I also loved the imagery and personification! I especially loved these two lines:

The north wind blew while the old autumn sighed.
Spreading their graceful message as they flee…

Beautiful!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

My only suggestion would be to add more! I loved this poem and enjoyed it so much, that I really wanted more! It felt like it ended too soon. I love the last stanza, so I would keep that at the end, but perhaps you could add another stanza or two? Just a suggestion!

Also, I'm very curious as to the English translation of the title! Could you let me know what it is? Thanks!

My rating:

4.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1393090

Review of HOW TO ORGANIZE A CONTEST: award winner

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hi Dr M C Gupta

This is my review for "HOW TO ORGANIZE A CONTEST: award winner"

What a great idea and article! It's great to share your experiences to help others.

Strengths:

Kudos to you for helping out your fellow members of Writing.com by offering this essay! I think it's great that you share your experiences in the efforts to help others. Thanks!

This article is very well structured, which makes it very easy to follow. I like that you set your intention for the article in the opening, and then you use a strict outline form to explain your views and information.

This article is very well written, as well! It makes it easy and enjoyable to read, and offers some great insight into contest hosting. Great job!

Grammar/Spelling:

It is fit to be awrded the second prize.

Just a typo - awrded should be awarded.

I would think of organizing some more contest with easier rules, yet, related in some way with Indian context.

contest should be plural - contests.

There are a few verb tense shifts in your article. The first section is written in past tense ("It was my first contest."). Then in the second section, the tense shifts to present tense ("The entry by Taab is included in the final list for assessment...") It seems (I'm assuming) that you wrote this article as you were judging the contest, or perhaps just after the contest had ended. I can understand the reason for the present tense, but I think it would be best to keep the tense consistent throughout the article.

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

First off, I think it would really help your item to have specific links to the items you speak of. The contest, for one, could be linked in the opening of your essay, as well as the entries you write of as examples. I think it could really help your readers see your points. Also, (or perhaps in place of a link to the contest) you may want to list the rules for the contest. You speak of entries which did not follow the rules, and perhaps it could help the reader see your point further by seeing the rules.

Just an opinion for someone who has never seen a ghazal, it may also be helpful to provide an explanation (or a link to an explanation) of the poem type. It could help your explanation of why some entries did not follow the rules. Just a suggestion!

In section A, #2, you discuss the gift point reward, and the fact that you believe you set it too high. I think it could help readers (and future contest hosters) to give an example. Later in the article, you list what your prizes were, but I think it could help to list the prizes in the section that you first mention them.

Just a suggestion - You may want to use some color fonts or emoticons to accent the article. I think it could really help accentuate your great article!

My rating:

3.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!! And once again, thank you! You are commended for this helpful article!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1392686

Review of Mad About Artemis?

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi Artemismad

This is my review for "Mad About Artemis?"

Thanks for sharing this great item! I really enjoyed learning more about you!

Strengths:

I like that you've grouped the information together in a logical and structured format. It makes it easier to read.

I like that you included your dislikes, as well as your likes.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

My only suggestion would be to use some color or emoticons to accent the piece.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1391884

Review of The Doctor

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi Thomas

This is my review for "The Doctor"

Thanks for sharing this great story!

Strengths:

I think this story is amazing! I'm not entirely sure of what's going on in the story, and honestly, I don't have to know! I like that the story is really creepy. It doesn't explain exactly what's going on, and I really liked that!

The tone in this story is great! It's told simply and is straightforward, yet there is just a hint of strangeness, that lets the reader know something is going on behind the story that is being told.

The story is very well written, which made it easy and enjoyable to read. Well done!

I loved the end! Toward the end, I was suspicious, right along with the character of Celia, and the last line is just perfect. Great job!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1391818

Review of One Step Before the Precipice

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (3.0)

Hi a Sunflower in Texas

This is my review for "One Step Before the Precipice "

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

I really enjoyed the powerful and accusatory tone of this poem. The speaker has a definite and clear voice, and the message is clearly conveyed to the reader. Well done!

I really like the use of color fonts in this poem. It really fits!

Your word choices are great in conveying the tone to the reader. I really loved these lines:

Destroyed without conscience.
Human horrors abound.

and:

Berets worn by frogs,
And historic German dogs,
Bark, undulate,
Pacifistic prate,
And don't act,
While we feel their lack,
Dying a few more,
And a bit more
Inside,
Every day.{c}

I also really loved the last stanza. It was the most powerful, and it really created a great tone to end on. Great job!

Grammar/Spelling:

There were a few lines with misspelled words. I'm not sure if this was intentional, or perhaps alternate spellings that I am unaware of, but here are the ones I noticed:

Alerted by opulant hues.

Opulant should be spelled opulent.

Destruction created, unrepressable,

unrepressable should be irrepressible.

By the Satanical self-rightous hound.

Satanical should be Satanic, and self-rightous should be self-righteous.

Are disswayed by invasion,

disswayed should be dissuade.

The "I do somemnly swear. . .

somemnly should be solemnly.

To the best of my abilty

abilty should be ability.

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

For me, the poem shifted a little too much. It has a definite rhyme scheme in the first three stanzas (though the third has an extra line), then goes to no rhyme scheme for one stanza. The following three stanzas have a rhyme scheme again. Then the remaining stanzas either have an irregular rhyme scheme, or none at all. For me, the poem would have been much more effective and successful one way or the other. With the combination of a few styles and schemes, I had a difficult time following the rhythm and flow of the poem. I would suggest revising, creating more of an even flow in the poem. Personally, I liked the stanzas that had no rhyme the best. Just a suggestion!

My rating:

3.0 - Good job! I really enjoyed reading this!! In my opinion, it could use some editing and revising to make it perfect. Keep on writing!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1390959

Review of Future Flash

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Mitch

This is my review for "Future Flash"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! I'm starting to really enjoy the humorous aspects of your poetry! Your poems are very enjoyable to read.

Strengths:

I really like the free verse form in this poem. I think it fits the subject matter well. (I do slightly prefer free verse, but I have major respect for rhyming poetry!)

Like I mentioned above, I really love the comical aspect to this poem (and your others as well). The poem has a great building-up as the reader is wondering (along with the speaker) what is going to happen. Nicely done!

I like how this poem reads like poetic prose. The speaker is telling a story, and the poem almost reads like one.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

So, slowly, silently, I sauntered to the sight

I'm not sure if this is an intentional pun. The word sight is used, when I think the word that fits is site.

I couldn't quite tell what is was at first glance

The word is should be it.

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.0 - Great job!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1390946

Review of Forever Flash

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Mitch

This is my review for "Forever Flash"

Another great poem! I love the subject matter of this one - a shooting star.

Strengths:

The first thing that struck me about this poem is the structure. I really like visual cues in poetry (which is incredibly hard to do on a computer!) and I really like the way the lines are staggered in this poem. It really fits the tone.

I really enjoyed the language and lovely imagery of this poem. It created a great tone of fleeting happiness, and things that are just out of reach.

The use of punctuation in the poem is great. I especially liked the ellipsis points at the end of some of the lines. For instance:

Many nights ago...
Almost in a dream...

They really helped convey the great tone of the poem. Nice job!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

I really can't think of any suggestions for this poem. It's perfect as it is!

My rating:

5.0 - Excellent job!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1390937

Review of The Turtle

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Mitch

This is my review for "The Turtle"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! Your description fits the poem perfectly: A ballad that makes no sense. But writing doesn't have to make sense for it to be enjoyable. I really liked this poem!

Strengths:

I love the rhyme scheme that you've used for this poem. It fits the tone and subject matter perfectly. The poem has a great rhythm to it, and is very easy and enjoyable to read.

I really liked the nonsense in it, and the constant questioning of the nonsense. I found it quite comical!

I liked the structure of the poem, with the lines centered. I think it really fit the poem.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

There was one part I didn't really understand. In the last stanza, the third line is:

"How can that be, a turtle turned tree?

I didn't see any mention of a turtle anywhere in the poem. Is this deliberate? I wasn't sure, but somehow I think that it is. I'm not sure what my suggestion is, I just wanted to let you know that I was a bit confused at that line.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1390900

Review of Cannot Help It

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi John~Ashen

This is my review for "Cannot Help It"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! (And thanks again for taking my poetry survey!)

Strengths:

I really loved the rhythm of this poem. It flows very nicely, and is quite enjoyable to read!

Although the poem has a rhyme scheme, and the lines contain similar lengths, the poem flows naturally, and it doesn't sound forced at all. Well done!

I also really loved the language in this poem. It creates such a beautiful and lovely tone, yet also a disheartening tone. I really found it to be quite beautiful.

I like the structure you've used for this poem, as well. I like the centering of the lines, and the shorter line as the first of the stanzas. I also liked the change in the last line of the last stanza. It really helped convey the message at the end.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

For me, the last stanza didn't seem to carry the same great tone and structure of the first two stanzas. The lines are shorter, and that disrupted the flow just a bit for me. I do like that the last stanza is slightly different from the first two, but to me, it just felt a little too different. Just my opinion!

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1387925

Review of WANTED: One Honest-To-Goodness Vampire

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi billwilcox

This is my review for "WANTED: One Honest-To-Goodness Vampire"

Thanks for sharing this great story! This is a great vampire story!

Strengths:

The story is incredibly well-written, which made it a joy to read! Well done!

You do very well in creating well-rounded characters for this story. I also liked the main character's name, Jonathan Hawker. (Wasn't it Jonathan Harker in Dracula?) Nice touch!

The description is amazing in this story! I especially loved the scene where Jonathan is sitting in his car waiting for Cyrus.

I also really loved the end! Jonathan gets what he wants, and he still can't be happy.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1387640

Review of Ahhhh....

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi Mitch

This is my review for "Ahhhh...."

Thanks for sharing this great poem, and thanks for entering "Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

! I really appreciate it!

Strengths:

I really enjoyed the relaxing and stress-relieving tone of this poem. I also enjoyed that it was comical, as well. This was very enjoyable to read!

I love the green font (matches the Heineken bottle color, right?) and the structure of the poem. It creates a very good feel and flow to the poem. Well done!

Great word choices and imagery! I could almost feel everything right along with the speaker of the poem.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

The word My is repeated quite a bit in this poem. I understand that it is needed, but it distracted me just a little from the flow and content of the poem.

My blood presses more slowly.

Every time I read this line, I kept almost saying "blood pressure" in my head. Maybe I've just heard that phrase too much, but the line seemed a little too close to that phrase. You may want to consider choosing another verb, like "courses" or "flows." Just a suggestion!

My rating:

4.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1386494

Review of She Walks

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi Nikola~Loving Her Gracie Girl!

This is my review for "She Walks"

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

I really enjoyed the delicate and sad tone of this poem.

I loved the soft and beautiful imagery in the poem, describing the woman who lost her true love and now searches for him eternally. Your word choices are great, and I really love that you start and end with the phrase, "She walks."

I also enjoyed the structure of the poem. I like the free verse form you've used, as well as your use of punctuation, line length and line breaks. It works together to create a great flow to the poem. It really was a joy to read!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1383812

Review of Stolen By Frances

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi NanoWriMo2018 Into the Earth

This is my review for "Stolen By Frances"

Great acrostic!

Strengths:

You did really well with the rhyme scheme in this acrostic! The structure of the acrostic is great. It had a good rhythm and flowed very nicely.

I really enjoyed the realistic imagery and language of the poem. I could clearly picture what is being described, and I really loved the last line:

Swept by the winds of Frances’ fury

I also loved the prose after the acrostic, explaining the story behind the poem. It is written very well, and your feelings really come across to the reader. Nice touch!

Grammar/Spelling:

I never regretted out decision to stay home.

I think this is just a typo - out should be our.

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1379968

Review of Step

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi Verm

This is my review for "Step"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! In the body of the item, you ask which version the reader prefers. I definitely like the first one more.

Strengths:

I like the strong simplicity of the first version. It carries a very definite and strong tone. It is simplistic yet carries much meaning and emotion.

To me, the second version sounds a bit convoluted. Considering the words are almost identical to the first, I think that says a great deal about the flow of the poem. To me, the first poem flows much smoother than the second.

I really enjoyed the subject of this poem. I wasn't sure what to expect with a title like "Fair Verona," but I certainly wasn't expecting what is in this poem. I was pleasantly surprised by this! Great job!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

My suggestion - stick with the first version!

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1379686

Review of Relief by Death

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi

This is my review for "Relief by Death"

Thanks for sharing this great story! Writing a 55 word story is no easy task. Great job!

Strengths:

Word choice is incredibly important in a 55 word story. The writer needs to be as descriptive as possible in very few words. You've done very well in this! The story conveys much emotion and detail, in very few words. Well done!

I like the fact that you do not identify "She" with a name. I think that adds to the strength of the tone, and to the strength of the piece.

I loved the last line! It is a perfect closing to the story.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:
These are just my opinions, and are meant to help you in your writing. Feel free to ignore or follow any suggestions.

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!! And good luck in the contest!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1375270

Review of Darkness everywhere

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Iforget

This is my review for "Darkness everywhere"

Thanks for sharing this great item! I really enjoyed reading this!

Strengths:

I loved the beautiful and descriptive words you've used in this. It creates such great tones, and vivid images. It really was enjoyable to read!

While I was reading this, I thought to myself, How can this be complete when it's so short? Then I got to the end, and thought, Oh! That's how! The end was just great! It really created a complete feeling to the whole piece, and I wasn't expecting it at all! Great job!!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I really have no suggestions for this piece. It's perfect as it is.

My only suggestion is to consider using punctuation in the poem. Punctuation can be a great tool to affect the flow and rhythm of a poem. Just a suggestion!

My rating:

5.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1375112

Review of With Every Cut

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Stephanie

This is my review for "With Every Cut"

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

Normally, a poem this short would have me suggesting to add more, but I think this poem really works! It's great in its simplicity, and the implied cycle of pain. It really tells a lot, in very few words, which (I've been told by creative writing teachers) is the very essence of poetry. Well done!

I love the rhythm and movement of this poem. With each line, the poem moves forward, and delves deeper, until the last line, where it feels as if it has ended, yet leaves the reader with the knowledge that the cycle is beginning all over again for the narrator. I really enjoyed that!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

My only suggestion deals with IF you wanted to make the poem longer, not that you have to for the poem to be successful. You could start a stanza with each of the lines you've got here. Or put these lines in between stanzas that give imagery of the pain that is felt by the narrator, ending, of course, with the great last line of this poem. Just a suggestion, in case you wanted to make the poem longer.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1375073

Review of A Darker Shade

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hi Stephanie

This is my review for "A Darker Shade"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! What first attracted me to the poem was the title and description. I tend to like darker poetry more, and I really enjoyed this one!

Strengths:

I love the beautiful imagery in this poem. It starts with a great image:

A Skyscraper stands alone in the desert,

And the images continue throughout the poem.

I also liked the form of this poem, as well as your use of punctuation and capitalization. It all worked together to create a great tone! It really was enjoyable to read, as it flowed very nicely.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

As I already mentioned, I love the great and beautiful imagery in this poem. It seemed to me, though, that the poem is mainly a list of images. I had a hard time looking into what the poem is about. I think that what you've got here sets a great scene and tone, but it felt unfinished, to me. I would absolutely love to see more!

My rating:

3.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!! The imagery and tone are amazing in this poem! To me, though, it felt a bit incomplete. If you were to add more, just let me know. I'd be happy to read it again, and I'll adjust my rating!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1375035

Review of Noir Divoire

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hi godwontshow

This is my review for "Noir Divoire"

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

I really enjoyed the tone and language of this poem. It was a great read!

I also like the structure, and the lack of capitalization and punctuation. I think it really works in this poem.

I also like the title. I have no idea what it means, but it attracted me to the poem.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

I'm not sure if the spelling errors were intentional in this poem, or perhaps a regional spelling.

still dwell on my deminor

deminor should be spelled - demeanor

as i perpatrate the victim

perpatrate should be spelled - perpetrate

three week ectasies

ectasies should be spelled - ecstasies

Suggestions:

While I appreciated the shortness of the poem (I think it lends to the great tone), I found myself wanting more from the poem. It could just be that I liked it so much, I wanted more. Perhaps you could add another stanza? Just a suggestion!

My rating:

3.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1373126

Review of Reflections

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Mr. J

This is my review for "Reflections"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! I really liked its simplicity, and its beautiful images. Well done!

Strengths:

I loved the beautiful image of the first two lines:

Crimson splashes pollute
my green tea.

It creates a really great image for the reader at the start of the poem.

I also liked how simple, yet descriptive, the language is. It really gives the reader a lot of information, in few words. I enjoyed that!

I did like the last line. I think it fit the poem well. Throughout the poem, the speaker seems to have almost no feeling toward what happened, and I think the last line proves that; the speaker seems to apathetic.

Grammar/Spelling:

She gave me the imported
tea kettle.
The girl in my
Asian Cultures Class.

For some reason, the period after kettle didn't seem right to me. You may want to consider changing it to perhaps a semi-colon, or a comma.

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1373102

Review of Petey, Oh Petey

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Mr. J

This is my review for "Petey, Oh Petey"

Thanks for sharing this great story! I love writing with satirical tones! I really enjoyed this story! It made me laugh out loud!

Strengths:

I really enjoyed the form you've used for this. I like the dialogue at the end of every paragraph. In this, you create such a great tone and 'atmosphere' and you do so in very little words. Amazing job!

The first and last sentences are just great! The first paragraph immediately draws the reader into the story, and the last paragraph leaves the reader with a great image. You've done well to communicate your message to the reader!

I love that this reads almost like a nursery rhyme. I think it is extremely successful as a satire. Very well done!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

5.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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#1372352

Review of Flight into Egypt

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hi Lobelia is truly blessed

This is my review for "Flight into Egypt"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! I loved the beautiful imagery of this poem! It does very well in describing the scene to the reader. Great job!

Strengths:

I liked the pace of this poem. It flowed very nicely, and had great natural pauses for the reader. This was done well with the question marks and dash used in the poem.

The imagery works well in creating a great tone of worry, emptiness, and great emotion. I could definitely sense the narrator's feelings in this poem.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

Although I had a great sense of where the poem was moving (as well as the speaker), I felt like I had no sense of where the emotions were coming from. There is the image of the speaker physically moving to another location (Egypt), and the fear and worry the speaker is feeling. However, I couldn't get a sense of why the speaker was having these feelings. What is generating the great imagery in this poem? It isn't necessary to reveal this to the reader, but I know that I was curious and wanted to know more. Perhaps you would want to consider adding a bit more to this? Just a suggestion!

I would also suggest considering using more punctuation in the poem. Punctuation can be a great tool to affect the flow and rhythm of a poem. I like the bit of punctuation you use in the poem; It does well to accentuate the flow, and gives the reader a place to pause and reflect on what is being said, and the images being presented. There were a few spots, however, that I was unsure of the pace. Some of the phrases and images ran together for me, as I was reading. Punctuation may be able to help that.

My rating:

3.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

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