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1,184 Public Reviews Given
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Review Style
I attempt a well-rounded review where I look at the item from a writer's and reader's perspective. I'll tell you what I liked and what I think could be strengthened. I like to think I'm a courteous and helpful reviewer.
I'm good at...
attention to detail. If there's a typo, I'll find it!
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Sci-Fi, Horror, Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Satire, and more
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Romance, Religion, Sports
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Least Favorite Item Types
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I will not review...
There is very little I won't review. Try me! *Smile*
Public Reviews
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Review of JAWS-MOBILE  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME

This is my review for "JAWS-MOBILE" 

Thanks for sharing this great poem!


Strengths:

*Bullet*This was really delightful and funny! I loved it!

*Bullet*I loved the rhyme scheme, it really helped the comical tone! Great job!

*Bullet*The picture really helped the poem! I'm not sure I could have pictured the Jaws-mobile without it!


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*No errors - Great job!


Suggestions:

*Bullet*I don't have any suggestions for this poem. It's great as it is!


*Star*
My rating:

5.0 - Great job! Good luck in the contest!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of I Dream  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sandra Farnsworth

This is my review for "I Dream" 

Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem!


Strengths:

*Bullet*I love the soft and elegant tone to this poem. The language in the poem is very beautiful and touching!

*Bullet*I also really enjoyed the structure of the poem. The free verse structure really accentuates the great imagery and tone of the poem.

*Bullet*The title is great, and reflects the poem very well!


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*No errors - Great job!


Suggestions:

*Bullet*I don't have any suggestions for the poem. It's great as it is!


*Star*
My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed this poem!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Fingers  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Unratable.)
Hi Jedi Moose

This is my review for "Fingers" 

Thanks for sharing this great haiku!


Strengths:

*Bullet*I love the amount of description and feeling that can be conveyed in such a few amount of words! That's certainly what I felt in this haiku!

*Bullet*I love the image in this poem. It creates a tone of elegance and beauty!


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*No errors - Great job!


Suggestions:

*Bullet*My only suggestion would be to add more stanzas. This poem is so beautiful that I wanted more!


*Star*
My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed this poem!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Beelzebulb  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Michael R. Geffen

This is my review for "Beelzebulb" 

Thanks for sharing this great poem!


Strengths:

*Bullet*I love the structure of this poem! I really enjoy visual poetry, and I know how hard it can be to create a visual poem on a computer! The structure of the poem really attracts the eye to it. I enjoyed the poem before I began reading it!

*Bullet*The tone of the poem is great! I love that the poem is a lament, yet the poem has a personal and almost sensual tone to it. I loved these lines:

thin crispness clinging to the sole of my foot.
How do you escape the tight, hungry bristles
of my broom? . . .

*Bullet*The imagery of the poem is great. It's very beautiful and elegant.


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*I found no errors - Great job!


Suggestions:

*Bullet*I don't have any suggestions for this poem. It's perfect as it is!


*Star*
My rating:

5.0 - Beautiful poem! I loved it!!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Dandelions  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Beauregard Vine

This is my review for "Dandelions" 

Thanks for sharing this great story!


Strengths:

*Bullet*I love that this story spans many genres. It fits into comedy, satire, science fiction, drama, perhaps even horror. It was really enjoyable to read. I loved it!

*Bullet*The humor in the story is great! It's such a subtle humor, and some of the sentences are just great. These are some of my favorites:

Scientists were flummoxed.

I didn’t marry her for her sense of humor.

The prognosticators are utterly discombobulated.

*Bullet*I really loved the ending! It was a great, almost anti-climactic ending. It left the reader wondering what's going to happen next, but in a very good way. I really enjoyed it.


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*I found no errors - Great job!


Suggestions:

*Bullet*Part of the way through the story, the verb tense shifts from past tense to present tense. It felt very awkward at the moment that it shifts. I liked the beginning in past tense, then I liked the latter half in past tense, but the shift was awkward to me. I'm not sure how you could change that, though.


*Star*
My rating:

5.0 - Great story! It reminded me of great classic satire stories! Well done!!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi I Cook and I Know Things

This is my review for "Death Comes Creeping" 

Thanks for sharing this great poem!


Strengths:

*Bullet*I like the way the poem is structured. The rhyme scheme created a great flow and rhythm to the poem.

*Bullet*I loved the imagery in the poem. These were among my favorite lines:

Crimson rose with hidden thorns
On gray slate tombstone it adorns


*Bullet*I really enjoyed the creepy yet elegant tone in the poem, which comes from the language and your word choices, like: silent wings, shadows moonlight brings, and the thunder sings. It made the poem very enjoyable to read!


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*I found no errors - Great job!


Suggestions:

*Bullet*It could just be a preference of mine, but I would have liked to see more punctuation in the poem. I think it could really help the flow of the poem.


*Star*
My rating:

5.0 - Great poem! I loved it!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Beholder  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Hi Suffer

This is my review for "Beholder"   by Suffer

Thanks for sharing this great story!


Strengths:

*Bullet*Great idea for a story! I'm sure a lot of people here can relate to this!

*Bullet*The story is written very well, which makes the story very enjoyable to read.

*Bullet*Your characterizations are great. Anne and Jack are well-rounded characters, and it was easy for me to identify with both of them.


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*It’s not like that. It’s just I never thought you’d want to go any of those places.

The word to should be added between go and any.


Suggestions:

*Bullet*This story seemed to lack the great description and poetic language of your other stories. It could be because this story relies heavily on dialogue. It's still a great story, but it didn't seem as powerful and creepy as others that I've read.

*Bullet*I would have liked just a little bit of a description of the world Anne and Jack go into in the end. I do like that Anne cannot explain what it is like (because it is so personal to Jack) but it would help make the end more horrifying if some type of description were mentioned or hinted at.


*Star*
My rating:

4.0 - Great story! I enjoyed it!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kenzie

This is my review for "I Eat Brussels Sprouts"   by Kenzie

Thanks for sharing this great article!


Strengths:

*Bullet*The theme of the article is great! I think everyone can relate to this!

*Bullet*I love the title and the humorous aspect to the article. It makes it fun to read! I also enjoyed the positive message the article gives to the reader.

*Bullet*The story is written very well, which lends to the enjoyable read!


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*Raspberry sherbet if a poor substitute, but finding raspberry ice cream is a rarity.

I think the word if should be replaced with the word is.


Suggestions:

*Bullet*I have no suggestions for the article. It's great as it is!


*Star*
My rating:

5.0 - Great article! It's enjoyable to read, humorous, and relates to everyone!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of PITS!  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Joy

This is my review for "PITS!"   by Joy

Thanks for sharing this great children's story!


Strengths:

*Bullet*The characters are great! I love that the main characters are twins, and I'm not just saying that because I have a twin sister! The characters in the story were very likable, and I could picture them very easily.

*Bullet*I liked that most of the story was made up of dialogue. I think that really helps set the tone for the children's story.

*Bullet*I liked the ending, that the ghost ended up being related to the boys. That was a nice twist to the story!


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*T here was a pool of water among some submerged rocks.

There are extra spaces in the middle of the word.

*Bullet*Suddenly a thing grabbed both boys in his clutches.

I think because you say that it is a thing, it may be better to use its instead of his before clutches.

*Bullet* “Pirates? No pirates around here. Idiots!” The thing that grabbed them pushed them toward the inside.


At this point, the boys are already in the cave, so it may be better to say:

The thing that grabbed them pushed them further inside.


Suggestions:

*Bullet*I was expecting more at the end. You may want to add a paragraph summing up the story, and perhaps adding some type of moral that the boys learned.


*Star*
My rating:

4.5 Great story! I really enjoyed it!!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Legerdemain

This is my review for "The Last Snowflake"   by Legerdemain

Thanks for sharing this beautiful children's story!


Strengths:

*Bullet*I love the way you've set this up. I like the centering of the lines, and the snowflakes added between the sections. It really makes the story look beautiful, and helps with the flow of the story.

*Bullet*The images are beautiful in the story! I loved the image of the falling snowflakes landing on top of the pink petals!

*Bullet*I also really enjoyed the repetition in the story, the snowflakes falling, then the petals, then the leaves. It really created a lovely movement through the story.


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*No errors - Great job!


Suggestions:

*Bullet*In the third section, there is an extra space between the first and second lines. This broke up the flow and look of the story just a little. You may want to delete that extra line.


*Star*
My rating:

5.0 - Great job!


Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi ophelia

This is my review for "crimson butterflies"   by ophelia

Thanks for sharing this great poem!


Strengths:

*Bullet*I love the beautiful imagery of this poem!

they’re content to sink to the bottom
but I stir them up, making them beat their wings furiously
scolding me and my erratic agitation

*Bullet*I like the free verse form you've used in this poem. It really accentuates the elegant tone of the poem.

*Bullet*The poem has a great rhythm and flows nicely, making it easy and enjoyable to read.


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*No errors - Good job!

Suggestions:

*Bullet*Although I love the simplicity of this poem, I think it could really help the flow to add a little punctuation. It would really help to show the reader where you intended pauses in the poem.


*Star*
My rating:

4.5 - Great job!

Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of ANGER  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME

Thanks for sharing this great poem!


Strengths:

*Bullet*The rhythm of this poem is great! It really flows nicely, and is very enjoyable to read.

*Bullet*The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout the poem, which really lends to its flow and rhythm.

*Bullet*Great subject matter! Many people can relate to this poem!


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*No errors - Great job!


Suggestions:

*Bullet*None - I wouldn't change a thing about the poem.


*Star*
My rating:
5.0 - Perfect!


Great job! Keep up the great work!!


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ink

Thanks for sharing this delightful poem! I found myself having flashbacks of my high school memories!

Strengths:

*Bullet*The rhyme scheme was great for this poem, and it was consistent throughout!

*Bullet*The subject matter of this poem is great! Most people can relate to this in one way or another!


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*In the hall i silently pray,

I should be capitalized in this line.


*Bullet*As I thankful that I’m ok,

I should be changed to I'm.


Suggestions:

*Bullet*None. I love it the way it is!

*Star*
My rating:

4.5 - There were only a few very minor errors. Great job!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of His Mother's Eyes  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi billwilcox

Thanks for sharing this great horror story!!

Strengths:

*Bullet*The description in the story is amazing! I could picture everything perfectly, as it was being described.

*Bullet*The opening paragraph is great! It really helps set the tone for the entire story.

*Bullet*I loved the ending! I could see it coming, but I don't think it was meant to be a huge surprise. It was a great ending!


Grammar/Spelling:


*Bullet*Horace awoke with a start. Gasping desperately for air. He dreamt he was being suffocated again.

The second word of the sentence should be woke. Also, Gasping desperately for air is a fragment. Consider adding it to one of the sentences around it to create two sentences here. For instance:

Horace woke with a start, gasping desperately for air. He dreamt he was being suffocated again.


Suggestions:

*Bullet*The end seemed to move very fast, to me, compared to the rest of the story. Horace doesn't even pause for a second before revealing his secret to his son. I would have expected him to have trouble revealing it, or at least wonder for a second if he really should tell his son. Then his son reacts instantly by condemning him. It seemed a bit out of character, almost. I was expecting him to struggle with it, to not believe him for a second, to be confused by the revelation. It just seemed to move a little fast. You may want to consider putting some of the character's thoughts into those moments.


*Star*
My rating:

I'm rating the story a 4.5 - It is written very well, and the description is great!! Good job!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Haunted Hallway  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Captain Colossal

Thanks for sharing this great children's story!

Strengths:

*Bullet*I really enjoyed the way this story was written. Most of the sentences were very short. This worked well in the story for two reasons. First, it is a children's story, so it is good to keep the sentences from being too complicated. Secondly, it helped build the suspense.

*Bullet*Your descriptions are great! I had a great sense of Natalie's feelings throughout the story.

Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*A menacing creak sounded behind her, and she waved her feeble light at it, but it was gone.

Natalie hears a creak, she shines her flashlight at it, then it is gone. The way it is worded confused me a little bit. It might clear it up if you worded it like this:

A menacing creak sounded behind her, and she waved her feeble light at it, but the noise stopped.


*Bullet*the room illuminated briefly.

Add the word was after the word room.

*Bullet*She covered her head, she remembered in school they taught her to do that when something bad was happening.

This is a run-on sentence. Consider changing the comma to a period, to create two complete sentences. You may be able to use a semi-colon here, but I'm not sure if that is grammatically correct.

Suggestions:

*Bullet*My only suggestion would be to start the story earlier. Why is Natalie creeping down the hallway with a flashlight in the middle of the night?


*Star*
My rating:

4.0 - Great children's horror story! In my opinion, it just needs a little bit of re-working to be a really great story.

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Sticking to It  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi Spartus

What a creative idea for a story!

Strengths:

*Bullet*I love this idea! It's very original, and comical! A great idea for a story.

*Bullet*Your writing is very good in this story. You tell the story simply, yet with enough detail to let the reader know what is going on.

Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*Next, the door to the study opened, Mark Tarsh entered; he was Kevin's friend.

This is a run-on sentence. Consider changing the comma to a period.

Suggestions:

*Bullet*You've got a great idea and a great base for a story here. There is a lack of detail, though. As a reader, I wanted to know quite a bit more about everything in the story. For instance, I found myself wondering what the setting is like, what the characters look like, and what will happen next.

*Bullet*The story as it is here reads like a synopsis of a story. Consider going over the story sentence by sentence and add more detail. Describe the actions taking place, and give the reader an idea of what things look like in the story.


*Star*
My rating:

I'm rating the story a 2.5. You've got a great start here! I know with a little more detail, this will be a great story!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Write-fully Loti

What a great limerick!!


Strengths:

*Bullet*It's rare to read a limerick that isn't dirty. Yours isn't and it is actually quite clever! I really enjoyed it!

*Bullet*The form of your poem follows the form of a limerick perfectly. The rhythm is great!


Grammar/Spelling:

*Bullet*This may just be a preference, but I would suggest changing the word 'Cuz to 'Cause. That may be just a preference in spelling, though.


Suggestions:

*Bullet*The only suggestion I have is to perhaps add more stanzas, adding to the story of the limerick.


*Star*
My rating:

5.0 - Perfect

Thanks for sharing this great limerick! Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi avidwriter

Great story! Thanks for sharing it!!


Strengths:

*Bullet*The story is incredibly interesting and intruiging! Your description of it is: The background of the evil queen in the "Snow White" fairy tale. I doubt anyone could read that and not want to read the story! It's a great subject matter, and the story does not disappoint!

*Bullet*Your characterization of Bersilla is great! I had a firm grasp of her character, and what she looked like, as well as a clear sense of her motivations.

*Bullet*I also really enjoyed the descriptions of Bersilla's parents. It was great to see what influenced Bersilla to become evil!


Suggestions:

*Bullet*She is the queen of wickedness, who's hatred of Snow White brought doom on herself.

The word should be whose instead of who's.

*Bullet*Bersilla grew up as a well-liked girl, including all of the children.

This sentence sounds a bit awkward. You may want to consider re-wording it. For example:

Bersilla grew up as a well-liked girl amongst the kingdom, including all of the children.

*Bullet* The story seems unfinished. I love what you have so far, but I was expecting more. I wanted to know what happens next, up until the point of the Snow White Fairy Tale.

*Star*
My rating:

I'm rating the story a 4.0. It was great! There were just a few minor errors, and I would love to see more added to the story.

Great job!! Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Ultimate Sin  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi semara

What a beautiful and touching poem!!


Strengths:

*Bullet*I love the tone of this poem. It is very personal and emotional. It works really well that it consists of one speaker addressing the object. It makes the poem like their own little world, and the reader is given a brief glimpse.

*Bullet*I like the rhyme scheme in the poem. It sets a nice rhythm and flow for the reader, and makes the poem enjoyable to read through.


Suggestions:

*Bullet*Punctuation! I would have liked to see a little bit of punctuation in this poem. Punctuation can be a great tool for writers, letting the reader know where you meant a pause in the flow of the poem. It can slow the rhythm of the poem, so that the reader can pause to get a clear view of the beautiful imagery!

*Star*
My rating:

I'm rating this poem a 4.5. I really enjoyed it, but would like to see some punctuation.

Great job! Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Diane

Thanks for sharing this delightful and funny story!!

Strengths:
This interpretation of the classic fairy tale is brilliant and hilarious!! The beginning is great, and you stick to the tale throughout the short story. I think this does well to capture and keep the reader's interest.

The last paragraph was great! Not only did it wrap up the whole story, and explain the name change, but it also explained what happened to the character of Boy Blue.

Your characterization of Humpty Dumpty/Bob Dempty is great! In the classic rhyme, the reader doesn't get an kind of sense of the character's voice or persona. That leaves a lot of room for experimenting with the character, but also gives the reader something to live up to. I thought your characterization of him was great! It was comical, yet fit perfectly with the classic tale.

Suggestions:
I noticed one typo, at the end of the fifth paragraph:

but thanks to close friends and my sponser

The word sponsor is misspelled.

That is my only suggestion for this story.

My rating:
5.0 - Perfect!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Couch Critters  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi wordsy

Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem!!

Strengths:
The rhyme scheme and structure of the poem matched its theme perfectly! It made it very enjoyable to read. I also liked that the lines are centered.

I loved the pictures that went along with the poem. They worked very well in helping me imagine the world under the couch.

The imagery was beautiful in the poem! It really helped illustrate what was being described, even moreso than the pictures between the stanzas.

Suggestions:
I don't have any suggestions. I love the poem just the way it is.

My rating:
5.0 - It's perfect!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Poor Alice  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Wallaby Wannabe

This is a really creative and interesting piece. I like it!

{c:rose:}Strengths:
I love the seemingly purposeful confusion. As a reader, I really can't say I have a firm grasp on what is exactly going on in the story. I think that's what you intended, though.

The reasoI liked that I think you intended confusion, on the reader's part, is due to the tone of the story. Alice switches from reality to fantasy and back again, several times. (The name Alice - reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland, of course! I liked that, too!) It seems like Alice's world is being turned upside down. I especially liked the line: He looks down at her, and she is suddenly aware that she is looking down at him. The focus is constantly being shifted, and the reader is forced to look at one thing in several different ways.

Suggestions:
I suppose my only suggestion would be that I wanted more. I didn't feel the need to know more of the truth of what was going on, but I liked the narrative so much, that I wanted to see more of it. I wanted more of the confusion and shift in perspective.

My rating:
I'm rating the story a 4.5. I think it's absolutely great, with possibly a little room for improvement.

Great job! Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey *Smile*

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Review of Ignorance  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi ballett99

What caught my eye first about your poem was the title. I think the title fits very well, and is a fair representation of the poem. It is simple, yet meaningful, which is the sense I get from your poem.

Strenghts:
I like the simplicity of your poem. The language and form is simple, while the poem tackles a complex idea. This juxtaposition worked very well for me, and made the poem flow well and sound pleasant.

I like the gentle tone created by your word choices. By using 'soft' words, like "shelters," "scarf," and "unravels," you've created a gentle tone that lends itself well to the poem.

I love the second stanza! I think it is the strongest and most effective part of your poem. This is where the true theme of the poem is revealed. Also, the last stanza flows very well as the ending. It fits in perfectly after the second stanza.

Suggestions:

Punctuation! There is very little punctuation in this poem. Punctuation can be used many ways in a poem, to help the tone and flow of the poem. You may want to try experimenting with commas and periods. Read the poem aloud, and see where the natural pauses of the poem are. See where you want your reader to pause, and that is where you can add a comma. Punctuation can be a very effective tool in poetry!

I found myself wanting more. I like the last two stanzas as the last two, so I would keep those there. Maybe you should consider adding more in between the first and second stanzas. I had to read the poem several times to understand the theme that was trying to come across. If you added more detail, the theme would become more readily apparent to the reader, in my opinion.

My rating:
I'm giving this poem a rating of 3.0, because I think the poem is a great start. It flows very nicely, and contains beautiful imagery, and a lovely tone. It has great potential, which I think could be expounded upon by adding punctuation, and more detail.

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey
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Review of Hate  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow! This is a great story!!

I found the contest, and read the prompt: A horror story revolving around an evil bottle of water. That's one tough prompt!

You did an amazing job with the prompt! The characters are well set up. I have a clear sense of the setting, though it is not described in great detail. I like that the story is centered around its characters.

The scene with the boy in the car was SO suspenseful for me! I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen, and I wasn't disappointed! Great ending!!

Suggestions: None! I loved the story! It works perfectly the way it is!
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Review of Waves of Time  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a nice short poem. I like the sound of it - The internal rhyme is the best aspect of the poem, to me. It helps with the flow of the poem.

Suggestions:

Of course, I have to suggest that you make the poem longer. I really like what you have here, and I feel that it could be a great longer poem, as well.

Come crashing, smashing, washing me.

I really like this line, and I do like the word 'washing' in the line. However, it's not an exact rhyme with 'crashing' and 'smashing.' That interrupts the flow of the poem a bit for me. I'm not sure how to change it, though, because I do like that word in that line.

Great job!! Keep it up!

-spidey
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