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1,184 Public Reviews Given
1,616 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I attempt a well-rounded review where I look at the item from a writer's and reader's perspective. I'll tell you what I liked and what I think could be strengthened. I like to think I'm a courteous and helpful reviewer.
I'm good at...
attention to detail. If there's a typo, I'll find it!
Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi, Horror, Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Satire, and more
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Religion, Sports
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Poetry, Essays
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels (I just don't have that much time)
I will not review...
There is very little I won't review. Try me! *Smile*
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of Farmyard Noir  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi kmack

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Great cast of characters! I love how you gave such personalities to each individual character.

This was really entertaining to read! I kept wanting to skip ahead to see what would happen next! Well done!

Great writing!

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


This should have a 13+ rating - "killer"

"He's been bragging that when he get's through with you,
"gets" doesn't need an apostrophe *Right* gets

I hoped he didn't break free to soon.
to *Right* too





My Rating


4.0 - Great story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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27
27
Review of My dog and I  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


This felt really personal and touching. I could really feel the love in this!

For me, it felt a little incomplete, like not quite a whole story. I think I liked the emotional feel to it so much that I wanted more!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



No errors/typos.

I think adding a bit more to this, some plot elements like conflict and resolution might help this feel like more of a complete story. Just my thoughts. *Smile*

My Rating


3.0 - A touching essay here with clear, emotional writing. Thanks for sharing this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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28
28
Review of Samantha's Pet  
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Christopher Roy Denton

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Great story! I kept wanting to skip ahead to see what was going to happen! As a reviewer, I had to read through the story a second time to read critically because the first read through was truly for enjoyment. Well done!

Good, clear writing! I found no typos or errors.

I wasn't expecting the ending! I guessed something was amiss, but I didn't guess the ending! Good work!




Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



I couldn't think of a single suggestion for your story. Well done!



My Rating


5.0 - Great story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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29
29
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent article/essay. I'm also an atheist, and I think you've covered a lot of great points and information here without sounding like you're "attacking" religious folks (as we often are accused when speaking about our perspective).

One nitpicky thing - In your last section, you state that criticism of the Big Bang is used to attempt to discredit evolution, but those two ideas are not really linked or relating to the same thing. I do agree that often theists link them, though, so I wasn't totally clear if you were referring to that.

Well written and informative! Nicely done. *Smile*


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30
30
Review of Vertie's Platform  
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi PureSciFi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Nice sci-fi thriller! I love good sci-fi! For me, sometimes I get lost in the terms and names of a new world, but when it's written well, I can delve right into it, just like with this story. You have enough "new" terminology and different-sounding names to signify the "other-world" aspect of sci-fi, but not too much where you risk losing your readers. Nicely done!

I liked the mystery aspect of this, too. I really wanted to know what happened! I think you do well to build the suspense here!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



A laser bolt shot passed a shuttle.
I believe "passed" should be "past." When the word is an adverb (describing how it "shot") it should be "past" not "passed."

“Thanks, Medical. What about the rest of Vertie’s Platform?”
I was confused as to why the character was thanking "Medical" which was an area of the platform. Perhaps the character meant to say, "Thanks, Rammus." I wasn't sure about this part.

Illoni was going over supplies in Supplies.
This is totally up to you, the writer, but having the word "supplies" twice so close together felt a tad awkward. There are other words you could use for the first instance, like "rations," or "provisions" or "reserves."

“I think your right, Gorgianna.
"your" should be "you're"



My Rating


4.0 - A good sci-fi Thriller! For me, it felt like a small portion of a larger work. I was left with questions (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). The format distracted me a little bit, with the lines between paragraphs, but that's just one reader's response. Formatting is up to you, of course!


Sincerely,
spidey



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31
31
Review of The Passport  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi brom21

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


How clever! I like how you used the contest title in your story!

Very thrilling! I had to slow myself down while reading, because I wanted to jump ahead to find out what was going to happen! Nicely done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



“You have my wallet, no please let me pass through.”
I think "no" should be "now"


He stepped off and wet up a small stairway
I think "wet" should be "went"


“What is it now Alex? What kind of trouble are you in now?”
While it's not incorrect, having the word "now" twice so closely together sounds a little awkward.


I hid in bush in the corner a few feet away.”
I think a word might be missing here, perhaps "a" in between "in" and "bush"

He looked at the door than at Alex with a frown “What have you done Alex?!”
"than" should be "then" and I think a period is needed after "frown."

“Why why the police want you dead?”
Double word, and I think it should be "Why do the police want you dead?"

“Hopefully none of the have seen me,” said Alex.
"the" should be "them"

Both got into the car and Vive drove off,
"Vive" should be "Vince"

One of three men in suites
"suites" should be "suits"




My Rating


3.5 - Clever tale! For me, the spelling errors/typos distracted me a little bit, but overall this was an enjoyable read!


Sincerely,
spidey



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32
32
Review of Intuition  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" . Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Wow, this story took me by surprise. I didn't see the ending coming at all! Nicely done!

I liked how this was a very personal "thrilling" tale for the main character. You manage quite well to pull the reader into this unique character!




Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


Excellent grammar and writing! I didn't find a single error or awkward moment.

I did wish for more emotion throughout the story, especially in the death scene. It was perhaps the word count limit that might have limited that scene, but I expected the main character to be less accepting of her mother's death. And I was confused that the character died so suddenly but "naturally." It felt very much like a scene in a movie, but not quite realistic. Maybe just one reader's interpretation. *Smile*



My Rating


4.5 - Great story! I enjoyed this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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33
33
Review of The March  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi slowmotionsunset !

This is my review for "The March"  [13+].

Strengths

*Bullet* My favorite part of the poem was this line: Shadows thrown by a cateracted sun. Awesome imagery with few words. I've never heard that phrase before and it caught me with its beauty and simplicity. Nicely done!

*Bullet* Good use of repetition. The repeated last line of the stanza moved the poem forward and unified the theme throughout.

*Bullet* I liked the format, un-rhyming stanzas with minimal punctuation. I think sometimes poets get caught up in punctuation, but when it is overused, it can disrupt the flow of the poem rather than help it. I think your punctuation fits perfectly.

*Bullet* I liked the change in pace of the last stanza, and I think the pace is quickened by the use of exclamation points. It fits very well. Good choice!



Title/Rating/Genres

Good title and intro. I think it fits the poem well, and the intro hints at the satire of the poem. The genres fit well, too, and the ratings are appropriate. I think you could rate the Intro "E" if you wanted. I didn't see anything "Non-E" in the title or intro.


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* I guess my only suggestion would be to add more, maybe a sequel? (which is the suggestion I tend to give when I can't think of anything else. *Wink* ) Or a series of poems with the same theme. I will definitely be checking out more poetry in your portfolio, as I enjoyed this one very much!

*Bullet* I guess I also wondered if this poem had political undertones, due to the reference to "Kalashnikov" fire (and the choice of using the word "Emperors" to describe the penguins). Was this a reference to humanity in general, or perhaps certain governments/nations? I think it's fine to just hint at something (let the reader decide what it means), but it left me wondering. So it's not necessarily a suggestion, but I wanted to let you know how I perceived it as a reader: That it wasn't entirely clear to me, but I didn't necessarily have a problem with the ambiguity, if that makes sense. *Smile*



*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - Excellent poem! I really enjoyed reading this, and I'l be checking out more from your portfolio! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey


won in an auction


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34
34
Review of Morbid Attraction  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi ♥Hooves♥

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


I loved the dark humor of this poem! I wasn't sure what to expect as entries for this prompt, and this one surprised me, in a good way!

Great form! I personally find strict forms to be quite difficult to follow while sounding "natural" and not forced. I think you've done quite well with this form and keeping a great tone throughout the poem. Good job!

Great word choices! You could have easily picked a more common word to rhyme with "day" than "quay" but it works so well and is unexpected. To me, good word choices can add a nice depth to poetry. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I try really hard to come up with at least one suggestion, and it's a really difficult task for this poem! I suppose the only thing that comes to mind is that I didn't quite "see" the photo prompt in the poem. I can absolutely see how it inspired the poem, though. I just didn't see the character from the photo in the poem.



My Rating


4.5 - Excellent poem & entry! I enjoyed reading this! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey



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35
35
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Fivesixer

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


I like the form. I'm a big fan of free verse, as I feel it focuses more on the words and tone rather than some format or rhyme structure. I think it fit well with the theme of the poem. Good choice!

Nice repetition and use of "punctuation" words, like semi-colon, parenthesis, ellipsis, etc. For me, it seemed to set up a nice conflict between the speaker and the "Internet" or the majority of internet-users who tend to neglect or ignore punctuation/grammar rules.

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I wasn't entirely clear on the "story" being told here. I wanted to know more of the motivation behind the speaker's "evil plan" and animosity toward the object (the Internet). Maybe I just wanted more depth? In any case, I enjoyed the poem and wanted more! *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Good poem! Thanks for sharing this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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36
36
Review of Surfer Dude  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dave

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Good form! I've always enjoyed reading this form. It creates such an interesting dynamic, movement through repetition. Good choice!

Interesting interpretation of the photo prompt! He definitely seems like a businessman, and I like your dark take on him!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


The poem felt a little formal to me. I'm not sure if it's the form or not, probably the form. It sort of lacked emotion, I think. I would expect to feel outrage at the criminal acts of draining someone else's hard earned money, but I think I was focused a bit too much on the format to feel that emotional connection. Just one reader's thoughts. *Smile*



My Rating


4.5 - Nice poem! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



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37
37
Review of Spam Scam  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi copywriter

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


I love that this poem tells a story! You've created a full, detailed story and character out of the photo prompt. Well done!

Good choice of form! I'm a fan of free verse, and I find that it focuses the attention of the reader on the words and tone rather than a format.

Clever ending! *Wink*

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I'm not sure how realistic this is. Do cops burst into offices and arrest someone for an email scam? *Laugh* Not that poems need to be realistic, but it left me wondering!

I found that the poem lacked strong emotions, but I think that could actually be a success on your part. When told from the point of view of a criminal with little regard for others' feelings, perhaps the tone fits the speaker well? Regardless, I felt a little disconnected from the poem, while I wanted an emotional connection to it.




My Rating


4.0 - Nice poem! I enjoyed reading this! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



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38
38
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sum1

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Cute tale! I loved the personification of the mountain! I realized about halfway through who the speaker really was, and I thought it was a really nice touch! Well done!

I love how this poem tells a story, rather than just describing an emotion or scene. It made the poem very enjoyable to read.

Great form! The rhyme scheme helped create a rhythm to the poem that helps the reader follow along.



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



Being up here, they’re taking quite a chance.
missing apostrophe *Right* they're


When facing my snows might, some have failed.
I believe an apostrophe is needed here *Right* snow's


There were some areas where I thought the rhyme scheme made the wording sound a little awkward or forced. I find rhyming to be really difficult because of that, so I tend to shy away from it. I commend anyone who is able to create a rhyming poem, because I find it so challenging! Kudos!



My Rating


4.0 - Fun poem! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey


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39
39
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Graham Muad'dib

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Very descriptive! It wasn't difficult to imagine everything being described in this poem. Well done!

Nice form! I had to re-read it about halfway through to understand the rhyme scheme. I see the form (Rubaiyat) listed in the intro's title. Thanks for that! I was wondering if it followed a specific form. Your poem seems to follow that structure quite well.

I like that the poem has movement to it, as the boy moves past his fears. It added a nice aspect to the reading of the poem, and it ended perfectly!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



Although the poem is quite descriptive, it didn't feel particularly emotional to me. It mentions pride and fear, but I didn't really feel those along with the speaker and the speaker's father in the poem. Personally, I find that strict rhyme schemes can be really difficult to infuse creativity and emotion, but perhaps that's just me! I admire anyone who can write so descriptively using a rhyme scheme! Well done!


My Rating


4.0 - Nice poem! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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40
40
Review of Skiing  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Lynda Miller

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Cute! This poem made me laugh a little! Thanks! *Laugh*

I like that the poem is sort of anonymous, that the woman could be anyone. I'm pretty sure it would be me if I ever tried skiing! *Laugh*

This had almost a sing-song quality to it, which made it very enjoyable to read. Nice choice with the rhyme scheme and form!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



Times a wasting
I believe an apostrophe is needed *Right* Time's


I think it's definitely an author's preference, but I prefer to have punctuation in my poetry. I think it can help the reader understand where breaks are meant to be placed while reading. That's totally up to you, though! *Wink*

There were places, to me, that seemed to be missing words, and I'm not sure if that was a style choice or not. For instance, the line, "But I bold." As a reader, I had to go back and read it again, because it felt off. I wanted to say, "But I am bold" when I read it. It may be a style choice, but be aware that it might cause readers some confusion. Just one reader's thoughts. *Smile*



My Rating


3.5 - Cute poem! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey


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41
41
Review of Swept Away  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi ShiShad

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Nice form! The rhyme scheme stays consistent throughout the poem.

I liked the last stanza! It wasn't quite what I was expecting, but I liked the last line, and I think it fit the poem well.

I like how the poem feels solitary. Although the speaker mentions other skiiers, s/he is so focused on their own goal, it's like the reader almost doesn't picture anyone else there. I suppose that's a lot how skiing would feel!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



In marble like snow
I kept thinking it should be marble-like, but I think it's probably a stylistic preference, so it's up to you.

I couldn't help wanting a bit more here - more description and maybe more back-story. I wanted to know more about the speaker and what was going on. It felt like this poem was just the tip of the iceberg! *Smile*

Not sure if this is a typo, but you have the same phrase listed twice in your intro. It doesn't detract from the poem or anything, but I thought I'd point it out. *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Nice poem! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey


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42
42
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Happy April 2024!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Wow, you have my respect for fitting this form! I find rhyming to be difficult, let alone sticking to iambic meter! *Laugh* Well done!

I think the iambic meter helps the poem flow really well. It has almost a sing-song quality to it that the reader can follow easily. Good choice!

I also like how descriptive the poem is. For someone who has never skied before, I can really get a feel of what it would be like!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I can't help feeling that the poem is missing some emotion or deeper feeling. Perhaps it is because of the strict form, but it comes across kind of static to me. Maybe that's just my own interpretation, but I couldn't help wanting to feel more while reading it. Just one reader's thoughts. *Smile*


My Rating


4.0 - Great poem! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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43
43
Review of Ski Rescue  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Legerdemain

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


I like your take on the photo prompt! This poem conveys a bit of fear and panic but also paired with the cool-headedness and determination of rescuers and emergency personnel. Great juxtaposition there!

From my understanding of a cinquain, you've followed the form very well! I had to look up what a "crown cinquain" is, so thanks for helping me learn something new! *Bigsmile*

Great use of punctuation to convey emotion! Your use of exclamation points, particularly, really help add the effect of panic in the poem. I wasn't even aware of it until my second reading. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



Although there was panic presented, I sort of felt distant from the action. Maybe that's intentional, but the poem felt like it could have been stronger with more emotion, perhaps. I just felt like I could have connected with it more than I did, though perhaps that was intentional. Perhaps the reader is to take the same almost distant, less emotional connection that rescuers would feel. (Not to say that rescuers don't feel emotion, but that a certain amount of detachment is necessary in order to do their jobs) Anyway, I just wanted to give you one reader's interpretation/response to the poem. *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Great poem! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey



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44
44
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Kristi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Nice take on the photo prompt! I like that you incorporated current events into the poem! I think many readers can relate to this even if they've never skied before (myself included).

I love the feeling of determination and victory that come through in the poem. I think the repetition really helps emphasize the themes. Good work!

The rhyming couplets help create a nice rhythm to the poem that made it very enjoyable to read. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


To me, some of the wording sounded forced, probably due to the rhyme scheme. For instance:
The illustrious podium I do strive

This is why I find rhyming poetry to be very difficult to write, so I do have utmost respect for those who write it! I think you've done quite well with rhyming in the poem, despite a tiny bit of awkwardness, in my opinion. Just one reader's thoughts. *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Good poem! I enjoyed reading this! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey


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45
45
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi LostGhost: Seeking & Learning

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


I like how the emotions of the poem evolve and shift throughout the poem. It starts a bit negative but moves toward the positive. Great interpretation of the photo prompt! I really feel like you made it your own with this poem. Good job!


I LOVED this line: I whistle to the tune of blizzard.
That just struck me as simple and clever. Nicely worded! Your word choices throughout the poem were well-chosen.



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



where pine trees are abound.
I think the word "are" isn't needed here

Some of the wordings felt a bit awkward to me. Sometimes switching around the order of words is necessary to find a rhyme, but since you're creating a non-rhyming poem, I wasn't sure why you chose to word things in the ways that you did. For instance, these lines:
Laughter of my family ahead my beacon,
their cheers my inspiration.

You could have easily worded this differently so it wouldn't sound as "off" to the reader, so I'm curious as to why it is worded this way. You've chosen to leave out a lot of words in your poem, like "are" or "is" or articles like "a" and "the." For me, it was a little disruptive, but I'm just one reader. *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Good poem! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey


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46
46
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Cute poem! *Laugh* I loved the last line! I wasn't expecting it!

I like that the poem comes across as vivid and beautiful, yet has a lighthearted, delightful tone to it. I think it's a nice interpretation of the photo prompt!

I really found this to be quite descriptive and vivid! I have never been skiing, but I can certainly imagine what it's like after reading this! Thanks! *Smile*



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I couldn't help but notice the lack of punctuation (except for the question mark at the end). I know not every poet likes to use punctuation, but I find that it helps the reader identifying intended pauses or tones. Just a thought. *Smile*

My Rating


4.0 - Good poem! Thanks for sharing this! I enjoyed reading it!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
47
47
Review of Puzzle Passion  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there Little Birdie

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! *Smile*

This is my review for "Puzzle Passion " . Was this written for a contest? Did you get it in by the deadline? *Laugh* I just thought it would be a funny link if this was written for a contest.


Overall Thoughts:

I like George, the main character. I think it's difficult to create a connection between the reader and the characters with so few words, but you've managed to do it! I think it's his desperation and determination that I identified with. Nicely done!

I think you set up the story very well. I really loved the part with the puzzle pieces sticking to his forehead and the interaction between George and the tiger. Nice touches!



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

I didn't notice any grammar/spelling errors. Good job!

*Bullet* Of course, I have to suggest that there be more. I can't read something so well written that is so short and not suggest more! Of course, the length decision is totally up to you, the author! *Smile*

*Bullet* If George tends to miss deadlines, I have to wonder why that is. When his Mom tells him about the model airplane contest, he rushes out to buy a model airplane, so it would seem that it's not a slow start that causes his tardiness. Is it that he doesn't know much about whatever the contest requires? Like did he spend most of the previous month learning how to put together puzzles and that's why he missed the deadline? I guess I'm just wondering why he misses deadlines. Again, it's up to you if you want to give that information to the reader! Just wanted to give you my thoughts as a reader. *Smile*

*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.0 - I enjoyed this short story! Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
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48
48
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Beautiful! I think anyone who has felt love or wished to feel it will connect with this poem! *Heart*

I like the form you've used here. For me, rhyming can be distracting from a poem's message, and I like your choice to not adhere to a strict rhyme scheme. The use of stanzas breaks up the poem nicely and makes it nice to read.

I also enjoyed the use of repetition to reinforce your theme. Personally, I like when it changes a little, though. For instance, if the last stanza started with "Love is the feeling" instead of "Love's like the feeling." I think it could help give a resolution to the poem perhaps. Just a thought, it's up to you, of course! *Smile*

Good poem! Keep on writing! *Smile*

~ spidey


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49
49
Review of Healing Hands  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice poem!

I'm not familiar with the form, so I looked it up with that handy link you included! Thanks! *Wink*

I like your word choices! With rhyming poetry, I often see "easy" rhymes, but you've picked some unexpected ones, and I enjoyed that!

Even without the explanation in the intro, I could have guessed a general idea of what the poem is about - people who care for and tend to those who are hurt. I think pretty much everyone can relate to this poem and its meaning. A great tribute! *Smile*

A very nice read! Thanks for sharing, and keep on writing! *Smile*

~ spidey


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50
50
Review by spidey
Rated: E | N/A (Unratable.)
Wow, this is good!

I love reading poetry, and it can feel tedious sometimes sifting through the flowery prose or the very strict rhyme schemes and formats to get to the poems that just feel good to read, you know? This is one of those rare ones for me. *Smile*

It feels like a stream-of-consciousness poem to me, like the speaker is talking aloud to themselves and the reader gets to listen in. We can get the general idea of what's going on, but it feels like there's a deeper issue or meaning. I liked that!

I love the repetition of the "time to go" phrase, and I also enjoyed the use of questions. For me, it enhanced the reading of the poem.

Great use of punctuation!

Well done! Keep on writing! *Smile*

~ spidey


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