|Hi Papillon !
Thanks for your entry in my contest, "Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest" [ASR]
This is my review for your entry, "Find Me" [E]
I love how personal this poem feels. I'm not sure if this is about you, but it feels like it is. It comes across as a very personal struggle. I think, though, that many can also relate to this, too.
I loved this line:
Sent my valediction to yesterday
The other lines in your poem are fairly straightforward ("I'm standing . . . ," "I'm fighting . . . ," etc.), but this one stood out to me as very meaningful and potent. I would have liked to see more lines like this in your poem.
Nice title & intro. They give good information to the reader and pulls them into the poem.
Your ratings & genres are appropriate, though I would list this as "Poetry," rather than "Other." Members may be able to find your poem more easily if it's listed under the "Poetry" item type.
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.
Like I said above, I'd love more lines like the first line of the second stanza. For me, many of your lines are straightforward, "telling" statements, which is fine. It gives information directly to the reader. For me, though, if I want to feel what's being said in a poem, I need more sensory description and more emotion conveyed through lines like that one I pointed out. If you are planning on revising, I'd suggest looking at those "telling" statements and see if there's a way you can "show" those lines & emotions to the reader. Just my thoughts.
You may also want to think about using punctuation in your poem. I know a lot of writers shy away from it, particularly in poetry, but I feel it can really help the flow of a poem. Try experimenting with punctuation on your own, and read the poem aloud. See how it can affect your reading with different punctuation marks. Again, the ultimate choice is yours, of course.
My only other concern is that I couldn't see a clear connection to the prompt. This round's prompt was "calamity," and I couldn't see an obvious inspiration in your entry.
3.5 - Great poem! Thank you for sharing your work!
Winners will be announced soon. Best of luck, and thank you for your entry!