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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/spuzzang
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13 Public Reviews Given
13 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Underground  
Review by gnomedeplume
Rated: E | (3.0)
I really like the way you convey your feelings.
"The thousands"of people who are dead and watching.

I often wonder about the rich buried in ornate plots myself so that spoke to me also.

I think that you express what many feel.
In a gentle even voice.

My guess is that you are young and do not want to think about being buried in that cemetery.
Might I suggest a further piece about that?
Just an idea about exploring the one kernel of the idea.

keep at it you have a gift.
2
2
Review of Always, forever  
Review by gnomedeplume
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is lovely.
You are able to insinuate your love as well as say it.
I especially like
"It is something more."
That sounds to me that you stay within what you are and do not try to say what can't be said.
3
3
Review by gnomedeplume
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I love this.
You have captured an essence in your layered metaphors much like breathing.
Intentional and unintentional at once.

You show the reader the gentle yet awesome intermingled.
Thank you.
4
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Review of The Wind  
Review by gnomedeplume
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is very nice . The only suggestion is to add " of " before Storied places far and near,

Of storied places far and near

I really like this.,
5
5
Review of Winter Repose  
Review by gnomedeplume
Rated: E | (4.0)

"increasing darkness on the face of the deep." is not clear to me to what deep refers to. I think of the sea,or perhaps the sky.
I am new at reviewing so it may be over my head, or you may have meant to leave it up to the reader.

"Promised hope held in this symbolism teaches the lesson of Nature's baptism.'
is a beautiful line, but I am a bit thrown off by it.
I am not sure what the baptism is referring to.
Once again it may be me. Winter brings out a sense of nature hibernating and I am not sure of that imagery and baptism in the same line.
It works for me anyway, but it made me stop.

The imagery of the Phoenix reminds me of spring, so I think of Winter enabling the spring as the Phoenix. I love the imagery. I wonder if it should be the last line.


"Wondrous this message that came from afar,brought by magicians that followed a star."
This imagery sounds like a reference to Christmas, and not Winter to me.

The overall impression of the poem evokes a lot of imagery.
I love the first four lines.

Overall, my feeling is that the images came to me independently more than they flowed together. I did like it very much.
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Review of My Way  
Review by gnomedeplume
Rated: E | (3.0)
I can feel the melencholy.
I didn't think it flowed evenly throughout.
The last two lines confused me.
"Only then will I show you my way", especially.

I guess I am not sure if there should be one more quartet
explaining what that way is.
I think it can be taken to mean more than one thing.
Perhaps more would give a better sense of you.
I liked it.


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