Good day 🌖 HuntersMoon Random review link is busy. I enjoyed this poem, kind of reminds me of footprints in the sand and the thoughts that might linger at such a content moment to reflect my feet covered in wet sand. Free style is always so freedom creativity and this is such. I don't see any errors, and did enjoy, easy read, no deep imagery. Thanks!
Random review link Ra M and a deep physical pros of becoming metaphor a Ferris wheel turning in the days of carnivals. I can't say I totally understand it, but can enjoy the pros in it. Creative, and left me wondering. Thanks!
This is so relatable. Spot on with my thoughts sometimes, and short, full of some intense feelings. Good prose, exist yes, with all the good and the bad, different for everyone. Thanks.
Good day, Jeff Random review link has me back again.
I'm not fiamler with this poetry form but can't say I see errors or didn't enjoy the simple length and no overdramatized pros. Well written, effective in drumming up some imagery of a battle, the captain yelling orders with that air of self importance. Enjoyed, Thank you again, your so much fun to read.
Good afternoon, Jeff Flash fiction my favorite and this is very well told, I could see all of it, hear the girlfriend talk about how tacky she thought the other table was, no description of the restaurant itself but some great character development in such a small space, not a easy feat. Thanks!
Comic relief, 🌖 HuntersMoon So fast paced, and witty humor. I enjoyed this, and can't say I see any errors. Five for you and your free style poetry. Thanks very much. Creativity.
Very short, and well expressed, perception spot on. To marvel at what life is and can be is always rewarding. Thank you for sharing, the creativity, and kindness.
A great poem, that is simple in it imagery but everyone will enjoy. Very relatable as we all see and feel the earth rotate away from the sun and see the trees change and the days get shorter, and our feet get cold. Thank you for sharing, I see no errors,
How romantic, I could very feel the feelings shared in this, and it is truly heart moving, all those mushy, rotten, sick to the stomach feelings we have and mistake for solid, healthy affections. My opinion only.
Well written, crazy in all those feelings that go shared by saying so much with so little, Thanks!
Small feelings of loneliness and regret linger, but the simple expression of the "blue" makes it relatable. The only suggestion I have is presentation, to make it more poetry and less prose. Something like this:
Decades ago his first love had come, a tumultuous affair.
Never to be surpassed.
He would wait as summer blazed, gazing over the shimmering corn for her faded denim.
A glimpse of blue.
They walked by the river to the special place,
the cool swirling waters flowed past the dappled retreat.
Passion soared into the cloudless firmament.
He sank into violet eyes.
But disease had come, and when she passed, something deep down in his being died too.
Gathering this together, and separate those impact lines make it more connected, and those feelings pop out at key times. Just my thoughts, I hope this is helpful.
Morning, dishaxthoughts random review link brought me, and I enjoyed this fast paced, simply easy to read poem. The repetition in each stanza adds speed, and reaffirms the feelings created from a friend in need. Thank you for sharing.
Good humid afternoon, JACE Random review is busy. I have a poem with the same title, and will say nothing like this, the impulse to ponder. The form is very creative, and got me interested, somber prose, and well edited. Thanks! I enjoyed.
Good day, 🌖 HuntersMoon Never too early for a Christmas poem and this is really touching in it's tine and heartwarming imagery of holiday things that warm.
Spelling error in the description. Random review link found you, and I always enjoy prose set on simple imagery and easily answers questions and self reflection and this ticks all those boxes. Many questions get answered as we age, and experiences we have along the way. We do be born crying but I'm not sure its hunger, more lungs reacting. Great editing, no errors beyond what I mentioned at first, and I'm glad I had a chance to read this. Thanks! staiNe
Creative, Well written and a delight to read. To be honest, the tone is usually not my cup of java, but I can't argue this is interesting, and asks some questions, romantic, and soft soften. No suggestions, here's a high five.
I have never happened across quite a prose like this, while emptiness festers. The thoughts when you can't think of anything constructive, and creative, yet somehow this is both. More questions and no provided imagery that may suggest answers. The disappointment and small angry flashes making one temporary blind. I enjoyed, thanks!
Thanks for sharing and the clarification on the form used it made more sense to me. Morning coitus is a lot of people primed time and would be as described in this quick small poetry form, not one I have ever heard of, superb use of it. Thanks!
Creative, short and not very emotional but vivid in what is expressed. Metaphorical, those inner feelings we all carry, the trauma, and misunderstood sight. I think the first line, second stanza punctuation isn't correct. Other than that a well written prose. Thanks!
Good Afternoon, good old random review link brought me. Synthia
I think it's common for people to have emotional walls, though they may be aware they know they are, or are unable to install windows though they want to. Being in love can be scary no doubt about it. Loving your kids or family is different kind of love than another person. This is simple but somewhat impactful as it raises some interesting self reflection questions. Perhaps centering it might add more glitter. Thanks for sharing.
Good afternoon, LeJenD' Random review link, and right off the bat, thanks for the authors note. Chickens, chicken man, Hmmm I can't say much, I knew what was pecking, very easy to understand. Nice though, as it is not sad, or angry or romantic. Rhyme is well done, and edited well.
Good Afternoon, Bernie Wonderful random review link,a lot of great thoughts triggered in this easily understood poem. Really liked to last line, impactful. Time taken to edit, and a nice read, although I'm not a romantic. High five! staiNe
Description is good, poem carries well but has a error in the first stanza, I think "I" should be "by". Well told and honestly there is some imagery that brings self reflection to the table. Like seeing yourself in a copper mirror, dim, cloudy and far away. Thank you for sharing, and enjoy your day.
Small interesting paragraph, asking a lot of philosophical questions. Gives the reader some time for self reflection to perhaps muse of these questions. I would suggest perhaps editing it into a free verse poem to give it structure and imagery. Something like this as a example.
The sins of a nation come back to haunt them,
Do the sins of a man or woman eventually come back to haunt them?
Men and Women can not escape their sins!
Eventually, it will come back and seek reckoning.
This is all just a suggestion, it is well edited and easy to understand. Thank you for sharing.
Great, I emjoyed this a lot, so quiet a story till she crawled back into bed, What a dream indeed, crazy impact, I almost dropped my coffee. Full five this is just so well done, not too long, not overly descriptive but that lack made the ending spot on.
Goodness 🌖 HuntersMoon This is great, what a well written and difference look at Tec but all true. It's amazing what prompts can ignite at times and this is no exception. Thank you for sharing with me, random review is so helpful.
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