Well done, and quite a musical feel to it. Faced paced, with some fancy prose.Great use of writing Ml. I enjoyed, out of my comfort zone so thank you for sharing.
Morning, Random Review link brought me, and interesting. Not really a lot to it, but the suggestive imagery can't lead the reader along, prompt provided and used well. No editing suggestions and see no spelling errors. Well done.
Gosh this is very honest, and I think many people feel the same in one way or another. The battle we do with of minds is always a win tag lose in the same breathe. I hope it helped sharing, no suggestions on errors, only that perhaps stanzas of three or four lines to group it up.
Thanks!
Neat short poem, I really don't know what to say. I had a weird image of a molting thing, which I'm sure wasn't your intent. No suggestions, thanks! Sorry I didn't understand.
What a sad, older poem of yours. To watch someone destroy them self, try to help, never get anywhere is really moving to imagine such a thing. There is a touch of anger, and some confusions, but really is touching yet not flashing in romantics. Thank you for sharing. Kudos!
This is very good, like a short story, but I could see Jack in all his ordinary features. A simple lief with all the troubles many have that seem so unfair. Older poem, but holds up well, thank you. I did enjoy and have no suggestion, super!
A bright first with some thought provoking prose. Well done. Something that can read over and over, getting a different feel each time. Thanks,I enjoyed and thought of a waterway need my home. No suggestions.
Inspiration is always welcomed, and this is well written. ADHD and Autism are two different but overlapping conditions. This supports some imagery of someone with those as a young adult trying to make sense of what their doing and why. My oldest is on the spectrum and I knew nothing when we learned, all these years he's adult now and there still mistakes. Thank you for sharing and giving a voice to some special people. No suggestions to change it, again Thanks!
Gosh! Thank you for sharing, what a unique way to look at been born, and the consensuses of such a birth. Big babies aren't very common as usually small than big. My second child was very similar, thought he was a twin, and born a hair from 13 pounds, so healthy, so pretty. Very proud as his mom. I have never read something from the person's point of view so this was interesting. Again Thank you and well done editng.
Thank you for sharing, mental health is a battle, and knowing that we continue to battle. Not fluffed with imagery, just cold hard struggle. Hard, and somewhat sad. No suggestions to change it, well done.
Cats are wonderful, I agree that old laser, it lightens their tired moods, and excites to no end. Sometime my cell will cast a weird light, and bam Milo is air born, and eighteen too. Thank you for sharing your small poem, and congrats on the wonderful editing, no suggestions.
Eight lines of super well said creativity. Not a lot of imagery but enjoyable, not overthought, what we look for, look back, miss, delight, many many is said. I liked this, but will be honest had to google a cairn.
Random Review brought me, and I hope my review is helpful.
Sadness, depression, change we cannot accept, are hard mental stimulates that people struggles to cast inactive. This expresses a lot of such, and gives all those feelings off calculatedly. Well done, I do have some suggestions, here we go.
First stanza,
No comma is needed after /so/ and carry it down one line.
The feeling of no hope
Leaves me feeling empty
Like breathing your last breath,
so uneasily
Second stanza,
You need a comma in the first line.
The word miles is used twice, I suggest a different in one instant.
Third,
Numbers into words.
The third line I would omit, it doesn't connect to rest. The rest of your poem isn't in stanzas, juts feelings and expressions. I suggest making it a constant line to add quality and help readers follow what is being written, how many is your choice, read it a loud always helps myself with stanzas. A good edit, will improve this, thanks for sharing, and honestly I understood, as death, sadness, loneliness.
This is how I would begin:
The feeling of no hope
Leaves me feeling empty
Like breathing your last breath,
so uneasily
I still hold on trying to cope
Exhausted yet still trekking
Walking over piles of snow
In the rain, for miles
not meant for my feet to even feel
Awake and alert for more than three days
On two hours on torments sleep
Hope is all alone
I'm so hungry
It's like my energy was stolen from me
There is no more me
The giving up of hope is the worst feeling
Doubt and disappointment accompany me
I feel like just giving up
As I lose all sight for my destination
Erasing the path I must choose to succeed
It's the devil
It's my strive, he is stealing
I break down like
the water breaks loose just before
child birth
I fall to the ground
Weak and tethered
like a dead corpse
I am down and blue
Lost all hope
I cry my eyes beat red and bright blue
I pop the blood vessels from holding my breath so hard
trying even harder not to cry
By focusing on squeezing and contracting
til I can't breathe in again
Thinking about how hard I tried
How hard I'm crying
Good crazy windy aftenoon, THANKFUL SONALI 18 WDC Years!
Random Review Link brought me, and gosh I must say how different. It doesn't feel like a poem at all , more like a story, a zebra, or perhaps a person hidden within the zebra. The confusion of steeping outside your feelings, and a face paced well thought out story. I enjoyed and can't suggest change, despite my surprise since this would not be something I would find on my own. High five! and Thanks!
Random Review Time
Good Morning, Kaytings
Neat prose, each stanza stating a instance or what would be involved for each step in growth. Some may seem growth as such, but experience tangles so much of choice tight. These are ways to interact each day, positive, self reflecting, and rewarding. Thank you for sharing, and enjoy your day. staiNed
Good Afternoon, winklett 1991 I had to think a second of what I was doing back yonder, graduating no. Change isn't easy, the unknown can cause nightmares, this is really helpful to those who may feel the same as they grow into adults. Some creative imagery, and a touch of eerie, mysterious fear. I hope it helped you sharing, Thank you.
For a first try, this is very well done, I'm kind of amazed it's not a second or third try. First for me to see a free form poem right sided, neat! Rhymes too. A serious feel to it, some truthful ways to imagine each theme of each stanza. I enjoyed this a lot, and really again amazed.
Crazy series, they'll never be anything like it again. I didn't get them all, which is quite shameful on my part since I am quite the fan of GOT. Perhaps adding a few like The Hound and The Mountain backstory, The Greyjoy's, and crazy Lannister's. Fantastic books and show. A great activity dedicated. Thanks and enjoy your day.
This could of been so scary as anything old invokes terror now, but you make it quite nostalgic and was a warm joy to read, I could see the attic, put a voice to the two boys and their father, the tiny amount of creepy, small amount of humor, the joy of a warm loved family. Face paced, a quick heartwarming read. You did fantastic!
Oh! I can't pass up a red balloon.
I'm not fiamler with the form so thank you for the included link. So creative, to relate and enjoy IT. Some imagery of the movies, some events of the book, a great blend of book, not rated out of existence, but still spooky and enjoyable for those who know Pennywise.
Thank you again. staiNed
Good day Joy Random review took me back to 2004, before my time.
Some super duper imagery, if I so do say, I thought of a house burned, the beams blackened, soot filling my lungs, then thought of the heat of anger burning me from the inside out. This is very creative, and holds some well expressed imagery, of a lot. I enjoyed and can't suggest a change. Thanks!
I wish you luck in Cramp. MY MY!! this is very good, the great thing about this form is the freedom truly and it shows on this, I could imagine the pencil, seeing the ending image of the face, hear the sounds it might make, dreams of a dull pencil angry. That's me.
Mystic tones, really very well done!
The ocean mysterious, misunderstood, moody, and always changing. Enjoyable , not overly fancy with prose and imagery, just some expression of if ocean was female and this is what she is. Well edited, no suggestions for change. Thank you, and Enjoy your day.
Good Day, Random Review link brought me and I'm delighted to be here. What a simply heart felt poem. Hope, it kindles the soul. I like the repeating, and the ending truly sums the feelings described tightly. No fancy words, almost what a parent would want for a child. Perhaps, centering and presentation might be present. Thank you for the fuzzes, and enjoy your day wherever you are.
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