|Good morning, Octavius. You may find it somewhat strange, but I have already read your story three times. That should be considered unusual. I tell you that I usually don't care to read stories, especially fiction. So, consider yourself blessed. Of course, I'm just joking about you being blessed, though you are.
Let's look at your title. I believe that titles are critical since they get the reader's attention. I am huge on titles. I found yours to be excellent. It was understated but intriguing. It made me want to see what it was leading to.
Your characters were believable. They were acting irresponsibly, but under the circumstances and the fact that they were young is an explanation in itself. Their conversation is also logical for two young ladies on an adventure.
The pace of your story moves very well for me. I like stories to get to the point. Your pacing is well done.
The crash could have been expected. If it hadn't happened when it did, I don't know what you would have done to fill the time.
After the crash, the one girl that finds herself in a flipped over car begins her self-conversation. I love self-conversation.
It works for me because that is what many people would do. I know that I certainly would. I talk to myself all the time.
The creatures and the scenes that follow are well written and logical toward an open-ended conclusion.
Octavius, I will have to stop at this point, or my review will be longer than your story. I see this as a story that could easily be lengthened into a short movie. I would definitely watch it.
NOTE: What I am about to say, I say from a reviewer's perspective. When you respond to this review, please do so with more than "Thanks" I would like to hear your opinions on your story. So very often, people put very little thought into their responses. ALSO, I'm giving you five stars because I believe you earned them.
With My Compliments,