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Review Requests: ON
3,151 Public Reviews Given
3,199 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual for the most part. I will point out errors I see and offer suggested corrections. I like to focus on the content and formatting of the item. I love providing helpful comments and feedback that may improve the item if acted on.
I'm good at...
I like to provide suggestions to the author on things I see that may need a second look. I'm not afraid to do a little research to verify a poem's format, or the contents of a story (if requested).
Favorite Genres
Mystery, Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, and Suspense
Least Favorite Genres
Honestly, I will read anything if asked. I just prefer those listed above.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novellas, books (though a review of that may take days/weeks due to my schedule), Poetry of any format.
Least Favorite Item Types
I find non-structured poetry difficult to review, unless there is a short disclaimer about this non-structure that would help in understanding the reason it's in that particular format.
I will not review...
I'm not interested in Vore, In and Out's, Growing/Shrinking, or other items that are similar to one of these.
Public Reviews
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151
151
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Hey Rhyssa,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 19th (WOW!) WDC Anniversary!

         This story is a bit 'out there', and left me wondering. Don't get me wrong, it's well written, the flow is rapid but well structured, but there seems to be a lot of gaps that the reader has to fill in to complete this. Let me explain.

         The beginning is really good. You had me wondering who your unnamed main character really was. The bit about her golden eyes struck me, making me read on. (I had no intention of leaving no matter what anyway. It just gave me a good sense of anticipation of what was to come). But there are details missing in the middle part where you built the plot.

         One minute she's a beggar with bright gold eyes, the next she's the chosen vessel of an Unknown God? Just her moving from one moment of existence to the next is big enough, but an Unknown God? If he's an Unknown God, why is there a temple for him, why do priests do his bidding, and so many more questions. I think I know what you were doing with this, but it just seemed off to me.

         The next thing the reader knows, is the story is winding down, and she will be sacrificed. Why? The sacrificing part needs a little explanation in my humble opinion. Like I said, an excellent story, but it needs a little editing to make it stronger.



Sum1

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152
152
Review by Sum1
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very beautiful. A great tribute to a furred friend.
153
153
Review of Sole Survivor  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey Cat
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 7th WDC Anniversary!

         Despite the lack of dialog (other than your main character talking to themselves), this is really good. But you knew that.

         I wondered throughout the story if your character was an Android, Human (but that was a reach, since your character referred to them as 'humans'), Zombies, or something else entirely. What I found interesting is that this fits in well with what's going on today. And this new Swine virus in China that isn't in humans yet makes the future even more bleak.

         The only thing in this that I wonder about, is this. How much of the world would a Zombie really be able to see? It didn't seem like it knew how to fly a plane, so it's 'world' was probably pretty small. I agree with it though, most likely it's the same way all over the world. But there might be one small place that things remain relatively untouched. Unlikely, but me, I'd never give up hope.

         This is a really interesting story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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154
154
Review of Breaking Point  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hey Spidey,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 16th WDC Anniversary!

         I re-read Bobo The Clown, and see that you seem to lean towards stories that are dark. I don't think there are many darker than this one.

         I cannot imagine living like this, and if this was me, I know I'd rather be dead than living like that. Maybe that's what Beth wished too, we'll never know though. I have seen drugs take many people down the path that Beth trod. Thank God I've never even tried Marijuana, despite strong urging from friends early in my life. It just became something I had no desire to do.

         You described Abby briefly, but well. The insight into Beth's mind was a bit of an eye-opener. I had a heavyset grandmotherly type woman pictured for Abby, and a frail waif of a girl for Beth. The love Abby had for Beth was admirable, the kind of love a mother has for a daughter. It would have been nice to have Beth somehow recover from her madness, but I didn't see it happening, and was not surprised by your ending.

         A well written story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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155
155
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Natasha,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 3rd WDC Anniversary! I also dropped by to give you an "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Raid Review!


         Your story is cute, and very good. I found myself liking your Uncle Paul immediately, and can really relate to him. He's absolutely right, 'city folk' need to get out to the country to experience really fresh food. I remember the first time I tasted fresh Pineapple in Hawaii. So different from store bought pineapple, I found it amazing. I now live in a smaller town/city in Central Illinois and get to have farm fresh produce during the summer months.

         Your main character was described very well, though I would have loved to know her name. While you didn't mention her age (no need to really), I had her pictured as a mid to early teenage girl. Her love of cooking seemed to be contagious, and like her, I really enjoy baking. Now you've made me want to try a peach cobbler, with Lavender Honey.

         A very good story, one that brings family closer together. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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156
156
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hey Cookiebaby,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 6th WDC Anniversary! I also stopped by as part of the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group raid this weekend!


         Cats can be quite a handful every minute of the day. I love them like you do. They are cute, affectionate, demanding, much like children can be. Your descriptions of Cookie makes her sound very demanding and possessive. She might need cat counseling! *Laugh*

         While I enjoyed this story, it is full of run-on sentences. it consists of 9 sentences, but really should be at least twice that number. I've highlighted one below, and given you a small suggestion on editing it.

         There are a couple of other minor grammatical errors in this too, such as missing spaces between sentences, and the need for separate paragraphs in a couple of areas.


1. When I first brought her home it was like having a child I had to cat proof everything if anyone has a Siamese kitten they would tell you Siamese are very smart and they have to get into everything. My suggested edit, red text is extra text I'm suggesting be added. When I first brought her home it was like having a child. I had to cat proof everything, if anyone has a Siamese kitten they would tell you Siamese are very smart, Like most cats, they have to get into everything.




Sum1

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157
157
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Choconut
         I saw this on the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group raid page and thought I'd drop in to give you a raid review!

         This was a little bit of an eye opener. An eye opener in how the Ancient Greeks felt about food in general. I knew they probably had what's now called a Mediterranean Diet, but no idea about their feelings towards eating meat and such. I was in Algeria in late January/Early February, and learned quite a bit about their diet. While they don't approach the Greeks for the history and mythology, their diet is a bit similar. I found I loved their food, especially their spices.

         There are a couple of things you might want to look at, should you decide to edit this.

1. Both of the images you reference in the article are no longer available.

2. Your crossword puzzle is tough! (Don't change it!)


         This was a short, but very good article, thank you for sharing.




Overall impressions:  


Sum1

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158
158
Review of Lake Michigan  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Kate,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 15th WDC Anniversary!

         For a story so short, this has a powerful message. In my humble opinion, you don't need the 'work of fiction' disclaimer. In a way, it detracts from the power of the story. You've already given it the genre of fiction, so it's redundant, isn't it? I loved the ending, loved the idea of your mother loving Lake Michigan that much. It flows well, and the showing was excellent. Thank you for sharing!




Sum1

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159
159
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hey there!
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 4th WDC Anniversary!

         I have to admit, I've read your blog, ("Blog @ Work 2nd Edition) entries many times as I review blogs for the 30 DBC. Seeing it's your Anniversary Month, I thought I'd drop by and read more of your writings.

         I really enjoyed this, you had me wondering about the man with the voice also. Sometimes I really wish I had a voice like that, but I think mine isn't even suitable for radio! I loved the small twist when he turned out to be a young man, and in a wheelchair too! The last line was a kicker too, since like most of your other readers, I wondered what was going to happen afterwards, since you worked so hard to clean your apartment. In some of your blog entries, your mother lives with you. What did she have to say about this? *Smile*

         This is a very nice story, well worth reading, and very enjoyable. Thank you for sharing.




Sum1

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160
160
Review of Another Day  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hey Diane,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

         I've never known anyone that sensitive to types of fabric. Guess I've been lucky.

         This is short, quick, and to the point. Well written, I saw nothing I could comment on or a change to recommend.

         Shelly made a nice point about sewing a comfortable fabric inside the blouse. Clever, brilliant, something only one who had experienced the same situation might think of. That, or they're very sensitive and do well in thinking outside the box. Good story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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161
161
Review of Her First Time  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Zeke,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 13th WDC Anniversary!

         Somehow, I had a feeling of where this was going as I started reading it. That didn't stop me from enjoying it though. I can see why Glenda gave it an Awardicon, well done! I didn't see much I'd change, except maybe, somehow, you could build this a little more, making the readers mind go down the wrong path. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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162
162
Review of Bricks  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hey Thomas,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 9th WDC Anniversary!

         This is a very good short story, I found myself really enjoying it. You painted a nice picture in my mind of your main character and his brick laying attempts. It's such a cute story that I hate giving it a 3.5 star rating. Here's my reasoning.

         The story line is excellent, one we've all seen before most likely, but still excellent.

         Some of your wording, especially in the dialog, is a bit off. It makes for a rough read. Mentioning your dialog, when you have multiple characters speaking, you should use a different paragraph for each one. This identifies each speaker to the reader, helping them understand who says what. This is the biggest problem I saw with this, it overrode my love for it.

         There are other things than these two items, but I don't want to mention each one, listing them all. Here's one that I must point out though.

1. I said that “I don't think you can help me sort this all out, it's a real mess. Besides how would he know which ones to save?” First, if you're replying, or saying something here, you don't need the word 'that'. The other thing is the second sentence there. Besides how would he know which ones to save?” If you're speaking, you wouldn't say he, you would ask him, "How do you know which ones to save?" This might seem minor, and they are. But when they occur 3-4 times in the story, it brings my rating down.

         This is a very nice story, I really did enjoy it. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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163
163
Review of The Book Worm  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Angus,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 9th WDC Anniversary!

         I don't think I've ever been disappointed in anything you've written, and this one keeps that streak going. I can definitely relate to Chad, I was much like him in my youth. I would check 5-6 books out of the Bookmobile when it came by, and read every one of them within 3-4 days. Some books I read over and over, like "When Worlds Collide", or most anything by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Andre Norton. Those were my early teen favorite authors. Once I joined the Navy, I ventured to other authors. Robert A. Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, and a couple of others became my favs, then I found the Master. Stephen King. On my first submarine, I would bring about 50 books with me on an 'FBM Deterrent Patrol'. On most patrols, 3-5 of those books would become 'the book to read' by most of my friends. I'd loan a book out, and not get it back til the end of Patrol. At least I got them back though. Enough about my past.

         If I were to offer any comment on this at all, it would be to tell us a little more about what the authors told Chad. It doesn't have to be a long story. It shouldn't be one of their published ones either. It's one you make up, as if they wrote it! *Smile* Just a paragraph or three of one starting off, a break, and a paragraph or two to close it out. Use maybe 2-3 authors to do this. Then segue to your ending, which was brilliant. Love this story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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164
164
Review of Washed Up  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey SandraLynn,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 6th WDC Anniversary!

         This is pretty cute, I loved it. I knew it was the washer early on. I mean geez, you left enough clues!

         I think it's a good thing our appliances can't talk, just think of all the juicy stories they know! Then again, it might be fun to listen to some of them too. *Smile*

         I did see one small thing you might want to look at, should you consider editing this.

1. No longer will I have to bare the burden of missing socks. Bare should be bear.


         A good, fun read. Thank you for sharing...


Sum1

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165
165
Review of No Way, José  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hey Shannon,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 14th WDC Anniversary!

         Very nice story here, but you left me with a few questions, mainly centering around Pilar. It would have been nice to 'know' her more. You described her well, but I have to wonder at her motive in inviting Gabe to the outing. I think I'm about like him, and would have ended up in his shoes too, unless I somehow found I could run faster than Usain Bolt. Maybe the word count limit for the monthly contest was a concern. Still, a nicely told story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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166
166
Review of The Bridge  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Angus,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 9th WDC Anniversary!

         I think I read this a while back, and didn't review it because I knew your Anniversary was approaching. I saw it had been reviewed, and thought I'd do the same!

         This was pretty good Angus. Even though I was pretty sure where it was going the first time I read it, it didn't stop me from enjoying it. I think we've all met someone like Tim. One who will take advantage of any one, and any thing, whenever they can. The smart thing for Joey to have done, would be to get Tim to cross the bridge first! But then, since him and the Troll had an 'agreement', maybe the Troll wouldn't have taken him, making Joey even more sure it was safe to cross. Either way, well done. Thank you for sharing!


Sum1

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167
167
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hey Korynn,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 17th WDC Anniversary!

         This is a pretty interesting story you have here. Moonkye captured me quickly, I found myself wanting to know more about him. Sadly, other than describing how he looked after his encounter with the supposed wolves was all we had to go on.

         You had quite a bit of showing here, and that's a good thing. Your telling dominated the story though, which made it not as engrossing as it could have been. Then you had the abrupt segue to the two young Mcketlo brothers. I said abrupt, and it was. One moment you're telling us about Moonkye and his death, the search that others made of the lake, and suddenly we're with the two boys as they decide they'll search the lake. I do have a few comments about it for you, should you decide to edit this.


1. No wonder, the man’s words always vile and bit those who spoke with him. You are missing the word 'were' before always.

2. A thoughtless statement, more from a day’s frustration rather than an actual thought, yet it a still hush fell about the raucous crowd as her words fit how Moonkye fretted and carried on about some loss. s you can see, I think the word it should be removed. Still, it seems this line might need a bit of rewording.

3. “Burn it” were the last words the town spoken about the matter as the chest, bag, and heart were placed into a makeshift bonfire and set ablaze. As written, this sentence does not make a lot of sense.

4. Two of the paragraphs are not indented like the others.

         Like I said initially, an interesting story. It does need a bit more showing, and less telling.


Sum1

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168
168
Review of Virtual Friend  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Ken,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 10th WDC Anniversary!

         I have to admit, this puzzles me. I think you lost me in this somehow, and I'm not sure how. where, or when. It seems that Blake might be deceased, and can only make friends with those like himself. I'm not sure. Either way, this is well written, I just wish I understood it's message more. I may be having a gray hair (I refuse to call it a Senior Moment) moment. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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169
169
Review of Earthship  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Marie,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 6th WDC Anniversary!

         Earthships have long interested me. I was in New Mexico (grew up there actually), on a business trip, and visited the Taos Earthship community. It was quite the experience to see one of these in person, and hear their discussion on building one. What I especially remember, is that the houses use the available 4 times. You mention it here a little bit, but seeing it, watching it, was phenomenal!

         This is pretty well done, but I do find myself wondering where you learned of this; what this essay is based on. You should review your second to last paragraph carefully. Here's one thing. For example, there have been people who created their own their own devices

         I agree with you wholeheartedly though, I think this is the home we need to look into living in. It blends in with the environment, and definitely reuses energy as much as it can. This was an interesting read, thank you for sharing!





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170
170
Review of Tearful Goodbye's  
Review by Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Roybe,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

         Wow, you really know how to hit someone in the gut, don't you? My other half and I lost our Akita to something with her hips about 11-12 years ago. One day she walked normally, the next, the hips wouldn't work, back legs just dragged behind her. We had a couple of vets look at her, had some tests run, but to no avail. I feel for you and your loss, and can commiserate.

         This is well written, and at one point, I thought your main character was dying, and the voice was someone calling to him as he lay there already dead. Your ending was a little bit of a shock, but it still hit hard.

         A hard hitting story of love for a dog. Wonderful read. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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171
171
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey NoMonster,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

         You're absolutely correct in your assessment at the beginning of your small story. What we do here on Earth has no great purpose, in the big picture of things. However, what we do here on Earth has great purpose overall. Our lives are very short when you think about it. Longer than some, shorter than some. Are we more sentient/intelligent? By our standards we are. What's to say we're right though? I love the idea that other creatures are intelligent, maybe more so than us, but in different ways. Maybe we're not the 'King Of The Jungle, huh.

         I like this story. The idea that a little girl taking the time to pet your dog created a moment in time for them both. Did they forget it quickly? Or did it remain in their minds, subdued, but simmering. Moments of kindness may not be significant to us, or in the overall scheme of things. Then again, suppose they are?



Sum1

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172
172
Review of Little Green Men  
Review by Sum1
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey Davy,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

         This is a pretty cute story, but it left me pondering a bit. It's a cute story, one that can't be taken seriously it seems. That's not meant to be a derogatory comment either.

         What I mean by not taking the story seriously is this. If little green men appeared anywhere in America, there would be crowds of people converging on them. There's no way a couple could engage them in conversation. And we haven't begun to think about how the government would handle their arrival. It would be chaos all around in my opinion.

         I found their conversation with the aliens to be a bit entertaining, almost funny at times. I can't imagine trying to explain the concept of 'knowing' to another person, let alone an alien from another planet!

         I did see one small thing you might want to look at, should you decide to edit this.


1.  “Do we not encounter the same problem, though?” queries No. 1. How do you define social usefulness? Does knowing whether the sky is blue have any practical applications?” Missing open quotation marks before 'How'.

         It's a cute story, you categorize it as fiction and philosophy. I found it to be cute, and wonder about listing comedy also? It might be tongue-in-cheek comedy, but still, it is a bit amusing. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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173
173
Review of Panic  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Irelynkiss
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 19th WDC Anniversary!

         This is very short, but very good. You say you're attempting to describe what happens during a panic attack. I think you've done a good job doing so. For me, the last line is perfect. I think we've all had panic attacks at one time or another. We survive, but does the experience mar us? I don't think we can allow it to, otherwise we're nothing but a beaten lump of flesh.

         As much as I like this, I do have a couple of suggestions for it.

1. For something like this, center it on the page. Capitalize the first word of each line. (Personal preference).

2. You need more than two commas and one period for this.

3. I would change the description slightly. Attempting to describe what happens during a panic attack. Change it to Attempting to describe what I experience during a panic attack.


         A well written piece, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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174
174
Review of June 6--Frog  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Nikola,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 16th WDC Anniversary!

         This is really very good! I find Flash Fiction difficult to write, so finding something this short, yet still relaying a compelling story is a treat. That takes a special touch if you ask me.

         Here we have Tess, a young girl who talks to a frog. Al seems normal, until you segue to the time when she's a woman, and has just finished drawing a picture of her and a frog. I could see it coming a little, but I still loved the shift in time.

         Thank you for sharing this unique story, it was a treat for me.




Sum1

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175
175
Review of My Psalm  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hey ruwth,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 11th WDC Anniversary!

         I've not read many Psalms, but the ones I've read are beautiful. This one joins them, very well done my friend! The flow, your phrasing, everything about it makes it so. Your love of your Lord is on the page as you read it, there's no mistaking it.

         This is a beautiful poem, I mean Psalm. Everyone should read this, experience love like this. Thank you for sharing.



Sum1

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