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Review Requests: ON
3,151 Public Reviews Given
3,199 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual for the most part. I will point out errors I see and offer suggested corrections. I like to focus on the content and formatting of the item. I love providing helpful comments and feedback that may improve the item if acted on.
I'm good at...
I like to provide suggestions to the author on things I see that may need a second look. I'm not afraid to do a little research to verify a poem's format, or the contents of a story (if requested).
Favorite Genres
Mystery, Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, and Suspense
Least Favorite Genres
Honestly, I will read anything if asked. I just prefer those listed above.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novellas, books (though a review of that may take days/weeks due to my schedule), Poetry of any format.
Least Favorite Item Types
I find non-structured poetry difficult to review, unless there is a short disclaimer about this non-structure that would help in understanding the reason it's in that particular format.
I will not review...
I'm not interested in Vore, In and Out's, Growing/Shrinking, or other items that are similar to one of these.
Public Reviews
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201
Review of The Tree  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey Audra,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 11th WDC Anniversary!

         What can I say that you haven't said in this fantastic story. What an experience, what joy you must feel being with that tree. I am thrilled that someone has a connection like that. My connection seems to be with both the desert, and the sea. There's a comfort I feel being in each location. Closer to Mother Earth when I'm in the desert southwest, contentment when I'm with Father Sea. No, neither is a God to me, I would never think that. But each does for me what your tree does for you. I talk to him, I know he listens. I can only hope I hear his voice when he speaks. Beautiful story, I loved it. I wouldn't change a word. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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202
202
Review of Santa's Mission  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


My Dearest Katrina,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 9th WDC Anniversary!

         I know it's early, but I was hoping to be the first one to send you an Anniversary Review. Happy Anniversary Honey!

         You know I Love about everything you write. This one is no exception. Your storytelling abilities are fantastic in my eyes. I know how this was going to end the moment I started reading it. Still didn't stop me one bit. *Smile* Thank you for bringing a small tear to my eye today.

         Happy Anniversary Darlin'....


Sum1

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203
203
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 14th WDC Anniversary!

         First and foremost, I am extremely saddened by your loss. I know it was years ago now, and though the pain may lessen, it never really goes away, it's only smothered by time.

         You have written a truly astonishing tribute to your friend and mentor. It's not perfect even thought I did give it a rare 5 stars (for me), but I wouldn't have you change a thing. Steve sounds like a man who was 'larger than life', one who could command attention, while at the same time, being a team player in the background. I think the best thing I can say about this piece, is that you make me wish I'd met Steve. Instead, I'll wish you and him a traditional sailors farewell. Not that you're leaving anytime soon, but it seems fitting. "May you have Fair Winds and Following Seas" in everything you do in life. Thank you for bringing a tear to my eye this evening, it always helps me stay on track. Even more, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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204
204
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey Bobby,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 14th WDC Anniversary!

         This is a pretty cute short story. I loved the little twist at the end. (No pun intended).

         The idea behind this little story is excellent, and one most of us have lived. Sadly, I hardly remember those days now. Kidding, but still, they are a distant memory. It's a shame she didn't reach a little lower, huh. Something else might have gotten tugged, and ended up much larger. *Laugh*

         Should you decide to edit this, there is one small thing you will want to look at.


1. And so she left my car, after giving me the greatest pleasure of my life, and the 2 breasts that pertruded from my chest. Pertruded should be protruded.

2. In that same line above, 2 should be two. Numbers less than 10 should be spelled out.


         A cute story, would have been nice to see more going on, more plot and action, while still rating it 13+. Thank you for sharing.



Sum1

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205
205
Review of Fog  
Review by Sum1
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Sorry for the second go round, I saw I mis-clicked on the rating I wanted to give this....*Smile*
206
206
Review of Fog  
Review by Sum1
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Hey William,
         This is an old story, or a take on one. I first heard it back when I was a kid, before you were born. In that story, the couple were parked somewhere, fog all around. He leaves for some reason, and she's alone in the truck. Later that night, and she hears a dull thudding sound. She finally falls asleep and wakes with the police around the truck. She's instructed to get out, much like your main character was, but when she somehow turns around, she sees her boyfriends head in top of the truck, battered, as if it was beaten against something all night.

         You wrote this version well, the dialog was good, as was the pacing. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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207
207
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 10th WDC Anniversary!

         Your idea behind this story is sound. The plot is good, but your description of the action is a bit off. Some of your wording is a bit off to in a few places, especially in describing how they went to their (battle) stations. Would I be incorrect in thinking you've never served in the Military, particularly the Navy?


         If I may, I have a few suggestions for you should you decide to edit this.


1. I think the best advice I could give, would be to tell you to do some research and learn what really goes on in a situation like this.

2. The Watchman pulled and the bell sent sound waves through each cabin window hitting the men in the dead of the night but without hesitation they moved into position, well-orchestrated, climbing into uniform, falling in one by one staggered from the rooms into the hall, one side, then the other and back, zipping tightly into line, trotting in cadence and calling out their steps “Sound off one, two…” as they headed for their position on the deck. When I first read this section, I thought they might be on an old sailing ship. But a bit further on in the story, they fire missiles. So, first things first. No watchman would pull a bell. What would happen is the Officer of the Deck (OOD) would announce on a shipwide intercom (1MC), "Man Battle Stations!", and an alarm would sound to wake the crew. There would be no falling in line, no calling out their steps, etc. Once at Battle Stations, the ship's command center/fire control would locate the target on radar, and/or by whatever other means they had available, and inform the OOD of the range, and position relative to their ship. The Captain and OOD would coordinate the commands to the command center/fire control center to fire when ready. There would be no 'pulling hard' on their part, it's a button press. Most likely it wouldn't be a volley of missiles, only 2-3 at most. (I was a Submarine Sailor, not on a surface ship, but I know their actions would closely emulate the actions we took on the boat).

3. The Captain jumped from the hard cushion on his bunk and sprang into action by taking the wheel and pulling back hard. You seem to like the idea of people (sailors) pulling hard on things. The Captain would never man the wheel, that's what Enlisted men are for. The Captain has to direct the ship, stay apprised of the situation and any targets nearby, and direct the action to be taken. The Captains Stateroom is probably not very close to the ships wheel, but it's not all that far either. But he still would not man the wheel, nor would it take a 'hard pull' on the wheel to steer the ship.

4. A brilliant white flash preceded a thundering BOOM rocking the men back and throwing them down hard onto the floor boards of the ship. If there were a brilliant white flash, don't you think there would be a fire somewhere? How about men injured of killed by the explosion? What about screaming men, from pain, fighting the fires/casualty, etc. I hate to say it, but I think you've seen too many Hollywood movies from the 40's and 50's to accurately describe a battle scene.

5. At the end, you make it sound like the crew looks at the horizon, the smoke and such they can see, then turn away because the battle is over. In actuality, they would remain at Battle Stations for a few more hours, maybe only two or three, but it would all depend on what information the Captain had about the enemy vessel. Besides, there's that 'brilliant white flash' that you never thoroughly addressed, the one that killed many men and started a few decent sized fires, if not massive fires? With all that having happened, would the ship have been able to return fire? It's your story, but (shaking my head over this), it's not very realistic.


         This is a short story, but the subject really needs to be researched, and the story edited before it can be taken seriously.



Sum1

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208
208
Review of I'll Get a Candle  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th (WOW!) WDC Anniversary!

         This is a beautiful poem, the Awardicon it has is justly earned! Your caught me almost immediately with your words, especially when you chose to say 'hear nothing with my blind eyes', and next verse, 'Nor could I see with my closed ears'. There was just something about those two verses that really hit me with one of those 'Wow' moments.

         The detracting thing in the poem though, was the rhythm. The first five verses have a syllable count of between three to six syllables. Then we hit verse six, and almost every line is much lengthier. I re-read this slowly, quietly, but in the first five verses, I combined two lines at a time, making them one. Not too surprisingly, it seemed to flow smoother! In my re-reading of it, I left verse six as it is, but then did the same (two lines become one) with verses seven and eight. I've copied it below so you can see what I'm talking about. It's your poem though, beautiful as I said, but the rhythm seems off as formatted on the page.

I'll Get A Candle

We drank as we walked, this sacred man and I.
From his wisdom, I hoped to learn why.
The drink was causing the flames to rise,
and I could hear nothing with my blind eyes.

Nor could I see with my closed ears.
All was juxtaposed in my prejudiced fears.
His words and image became a haze.
Were they lost forever in the blaze?

What had he said? Please let me know.
Don't let it be lost in the fire's glow.

Then I heard him speak,
and my knowledge began to grow.
"Get a candle, my girl, to light your way
and keep you from stubbing your toe."

We drank as we walked, this sacred man and I.
He gave me such wisdom, I began to cry.

Out of the flames, I began to learn.
That wanting to understand, makes the candle burn.

I'll get a candle to light my way,
and keep me from stubbing my toe.
I'll get a candle to light my way,
and keep me from stubbing my toe.



         My only other comment on it would be to center it on the page using the WritingML command {Center} at the beginning of it, and {/center} at the end. Just a personal preference of mine is all. Love the subject matter, and how you learn. Thank you for sharing!




Sum1

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209
209
Review of Fallen Angel  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 5th WDC Anniversary!

         Y'know, I'm a sap for love stories, have been for a long time. This one is good, but sad at the same time. It seems to me that when someone does find true love, it's all too fleeting. There are many reasons for it, and I'm not sure why Azazel had to leave her. Yes, he was a fallen angel. But does that mean he had to leave? It seems their time together was amazingly short, so I have to wonder how their love built so quickly, so strongly. Just my mind asking questions is all.

         This is very good, well written, with a dialog flow that kept my interest. There are a few things you might want to look at, should you decide to edit this now that the contest is over.


1. "I want you to know," he mumbled into her hair softly as they laid together, "that I love you. I've always loved you." Laid is past tense. Since they are together in the moment, the word used should be lay.

2. If she couldn't trust and honest-to-goodness angel then who could she really trust in this world? And should be an. You might want to give this a good going-over to check for other small edits.

3. A question here, that's been in my mind since I started reading this. How, and when did they meet? This just in the middle of a love story, instead of the beginning. Why did Azazel fall? Did he see Joy and just sort of 'fell to pieces'? If you edit this, you might want to add a true beginning to this to let a reader know these small things. Also, as mentioned earlier, explain briefly why he had to leave.


         Overall, a nice love story. It just left me with a lot of questions, most of them not mentioned here.




Sum1

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210
210
Review of His Day Is Done  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey Harry,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 17th WDC Anniversary!

         I love poems that tell a story, yours does not disappoint. Your rhyme and rhythm is very good, but for me, it was the story. Well done with this, thank you for sharing!





Sum1

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211
211
Review of A Hitchhiker  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey Dr. Faustus,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 3rd WDC Anniversary!

         This is a very good story of a man who seems to have a heart of gold. Not many men would do what he did that night. He mentioned some things that could happen with someone else, but there's so much more that could have occurred too. I kept waiting for him to turn 'bad' suddenly, and do exactly what he said others might do. Kudo's to keeping the story true, and not going to the standard story of gore and violence. Well written, enjoyable read. Wanted to know more, but maybe another time, huh!




Sum1

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212
212
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Tim,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 12th WDC Anniversary!

         Well written, with a very good rhyme scheme and consistent rhythm. I've never been laid off (knock on wood), but realize it could happen. It's a shame that we're all pawns to the huge corporate conglomerate. Are we valuable? Yes, or else we wouldn't be there. Could we easily be replaced? That all depends. I know we lost two people recently, not laid off necessarily, but asked to retire. It all boils down to the 'bean counters', and where cuts must be made. That's not a job I'd ever want. Nice read, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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213
213
Review of Charlie Chaplan  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 5th WDC Anniversary!

         I've always been impressed with Chaplin's work. He was a one-of-a-kind actor, I knew that long ago. Reading this made me look him up on line, where I found the Official Charlie Chaplin Website. https://www.charliechaplin.com/


         Your birgraphical article about him is very good, full of small tidbits about him. I found myself wondering why you didn't provide more information to the readers of this? Things like when each film was made, a bit more about his life as a writer, musician, director, composer, etc. If this is meant to be a mini-biography of Charlie Chaplin, it seems more information should be provided. Unless of course you wanted to keep this a bit vague, and feature your poem more than Chaplin.

         I am a little surprised you didn't mention his work with Mack Sennett and the Keystone Company, as well as his work with the the Essanay Company. His work for those twow companies involved working on 51 shorts! (The first listing in your biography is 'The Floor Walker', another short. That was completed in 1916, yet he'd been doing movies (shorts) since 1914! Amazing to think he involved in working on 79 Soundtracks, wrote 89 movies, acted in 89 movies, and so much more! WOW... Of course many of these credits overlap, such as acting, writing, and directing a movie.

         Another thing that would have helped this really stand out, is to note the year each film was completed or shot. It would just provide that little bit extra that provides more information to the curious... like me. *Smile*

         Very nice biography, thank you for sharing.




Sum1

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214
214
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey T.S.,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 16th WDC Anniversary!

         I have to admit that it was men like your main character that caused me to stop going to church many many eons ago. I am not a church going man as a result, but I do believe in God.

         Enough about my beliefs. This is well written, and scary at the same time. It reminds me a lot of the Jim Jones cult in Arkansas in 1978. That one man can have that kind of influence on people is my worst nightmare in many ways. This reads just about like the mass suicide of that cult. Well done, well written, thank you for sharing, and scaring... me.




Sum1

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215
215
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey Sharon
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 12th WDC Anniversary!

         First, if this is a true story (you've given it the genre of 'experience'), I'm sorry for your loss. I am hoping that by now you've healed somewhat, and managed to continue living your life.

         This is a beautiful story that screams of your love for your husband. Your caring ways, tending to his every need speaks of your love. You had to make difficult choices when the end was near, doing what you had to do. I'm sure it wasn't pleasant just the same.

         This is well written and has a nice flow. You pulled the reader in with your descriptions of caring for him. The part that got to me the most, was you climbing in bed with him that last night. I can't imagine going through that. Beautiful story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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216
216
Review of Pirate poem  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Morgan,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 10th WDC Anniversary!

         I really enjoyed this short poem of yours. To me, it's always the story that's important; this one is very good. As much as I liked this, it does need a little editing TLC. The rhythm is off a bit it seems. Here's a syllable count line by line. You can see that it would make the rhythm vary greatly. 14/6/9/9 9/5/9/7 8/9/6/6

         To me, it seems as if the lines are asking to be about 9 syllables long. I'm not a believer in that rule of poetry though, and since you use an ABAB rhyme scheme, I think the lines could vary, with lines 1 & 3 of each verse close to the same length, and lines 2 & 4 longer or shorter, but consistent in length. Does that make sense?

         There are ways you could get this done, but it's all up to you of course. Thanks again for the enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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217
217
Review of The Hurricane  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey Danny,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 16th WDC Anniversary!

         This poem is a bit unique, and while I love the message in it, the story it relates, I have to say it became quite monotonous reading, "Her words made me" in almost every line. I am giving it four stars because of the message behind it. But if I were to go on writing alone, it would lower drastically. The reason would be the repetitive use of those four words. This can be improved, should you decide to edit it. Perhaps being a little more descriptive in your wording so it pulls the reader in. Something like this.

The Hurricane

Her words made me angry.
I found I wanted to cry.
What she said made me wonder.
Yet lost, and somewhat hopeful.

The hurricane winds howled in my mind.
The rain flowed from my eyes.
The waves thundered in my chest.
I thought I was going to die.

Her words made me remember.
I knew that I would miss her.
My love would make me want her.
After all, I still need her.

The hurricane winds tore my thoughts.
The rain stung my sight.
The waves drowned my heart.



         This is just a quick take on it, not the complete poem. It's not what I'd want (if it was my poem) for a finished product, because it's not emotional enough. Look at it this way. It sounds like this woman is the love of you life. (I've been in these shoes, except she never said those words, she just let me go). You are heartbroken over it, I know I was. So tell us, bring in and let us feel your pain in this poem! It has the potential to do that, you just need to find a way to get out of the 'Her words made me' rut so to speak. It's a nice poem, I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing!


Sum1

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218
218
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey Simply,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 7th WDC Anniversary!

         Y'know, you really need to write more Western-ish stories! This was very good, I loved the slang you used. It wasn't too far out there, but it wasn't proper English either, and that was good. I did find myself wondering why your main character was being hanged. You seemed to drop that small idea/thought early on, and wrote about his father. I know his father is the topic of this story, but he's still the main character telling us about his father. It would seem only right that you tell us why he was facing the hangman. That's really my only comment about this. Other than that, it was well written and flowed nicely. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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219
219
Review of Did You Know?  
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Hey Joey,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 8th WDC Anniversary!

         I wold really like to send you a long review on this, but there's only TWO entries! This is a year old my friend, it should have at least 12 or so, probably many more! both entries are interesting, I'm sure you can find other obscure facts to put in here. Please add more, would love to see more. Thank you for sharing!


Sum1

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220
220
Review by Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey Ken,
         Wow, what a beautiful poem! Read it just now, and as always, am impressed with your poetic ability. I love this group, it's one of the first group contests I entered so long ago. There's something to be said about us old codgers, huh. Even if we do have a warped sense of humor. Well done my friend! Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Sindbad,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 5th WDC Anniversary!

         This is beautiful. There's no other words to describe it. I've been through a loss like this, I know how you felt. Fortunately, time heals wounds. But they are always there, the memories, the love. how you miss that special one. I hope you are better now, with your love and fond memories of Pepcee, your Labradog. Well done, thank you for sharing!




Sum1

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Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hey RJ,
         Thank you for requesting a review of this. I am always honored when someone asks that. But I'm afraid I can't give you good news regarding your story, or start of your novel. There are numerous areas I see that couldshould be improved. While I will not go through this with a fine tooth comb, I will provide you general comments that will hopefully allow you to improve this start to your novel.

1. I'm sure you've heard this phrase before, but here it is again. There is far too much telling in this, very little showing.

2. You leap into this as if the reader knows Laura's background/history. I have to say that in the first 7-8 paragraphs, you lost me completely. Lost me in that I lost interest in the story. But I read all of it so I could write this, and give you my honest opinion.

3. The early sexual encounter between Laura and Itamar seemed to be a 'token effort' to include a sex scene in an area that doesn't really need it.

4. Here's one of the questions I have. Who the #$#@$%^ is Dr. Altheim and Dr. Bender? True, it turns out they are psycho-therapists, but man, you jump into this whole thing about Laura and her anger at the two of them. Your attempt to provide background really confused things, and led to that telling vs. showing. If this is your first chapter to a novel, you've probably lost 90% of your readers before they finish chapter 1.

5. Another question. Itamar, like the sex scene, seems to be a token in this story. Added to fill out the brief sexual interlude. What purpose does he have in the rest of the story? You've added a lot of stuff here in this first chapter, when most of this should come out later in the story. I think you tried to write too much into this first chapter. The first chapter should introduce us to the story, without going into all the history of Laura and the therapists. Bring that out later!

6. You use a lot of run-on sentences that could be shorter, divided into multiple sentences.

7. Check your wordings/grammar. Check your spelling. I saw a few that were obvious, more than one should see on a first read through.

8. If someone is talking, use double quotation marks. If they are thinking, then maybe use single quotations, and perhaps even italics to highlight their thoughts.

         I'm sorry, I would love to send you a nice review on this, but I can only write them as I see them. This story needs A LOT of editing TLC before it can be taken seriously by anyone. To make a very short summary of my comments, I'd say the following. This story is confusing, hard to read and mush through, has numerous spelling/grammatical errors, and does a lot of telling, with little to no showing.



Sum1

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Review by Sum1
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey Ms. Penguin,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 13th WDC Anniversary!

         I thought this was pretty cute, putting Comedy as one of the genres is perfect. Reginald is quite the vampire too. Anorexic is an excellent way to describe him.

         You did a really good job describing Reginald (love that name for him, makes his anorexic state even more believable). Gandolph was good too, I pictured Peter Cushing when I ready your description of him. I would like to have read more about these two, but it would not fit with the story really. Unless they became a team, selling the two vials of liquids to other vampires.... Well done here, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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Review by Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Elby,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 15th WDC Anniversary!

         This is pretty cute. You had me smiling while reading it. I was wondering though, doesn't being in charge of the chickens mean you have to also clean the hutch? Yuck!

         If what you describe here is true, it was very good of you to give them a weekend off. I'm not sure I'd have gone out though, y'never know what might try to get in that coup/hutch. I've heard stories, only stories, since I've never been in charge of the chickens. Heck, never set foot on a farm much, and now I'm too old to get involved in something like that. But still, very cute! Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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Review by Sum1
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hey Ladyoz,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 12th WDC Anniversary!

         This will most likely be a short review because there's not a lot I can say about this. It's a subject too many of us have experienced, very well written. I don't give many 5 Star reviews, but this one deserved it. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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