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First Impression~ It seems to me that the author is soul searching and trying to find what 'love' is.
Plot Thoughts~ In reading what the author writes in poetry, it seems the author is not sure whether it exists or not, but seems to have a lot of contradictions within the poem, itself. ex: I believe that love is like a drug
its something you're hooked on
and can't get enough of
Has anyone ever truly been in love
sometimes I don't know if it even exists
I believe it does, but to find that one person
that you truly can't get enough of
seems so impossible.
Errors/or Suggestions~ It is my thought, although I am not an expert on poetry, that there really wasn't a rhythm here. It seemed to me to flow more as an essay. I would suggest perhaps turning this into more of an essay. As the thoughts were good.
Summary~ Again, I didn't read this as a poem, but moreso thoughts from the author which were interesting and certainly something to ponder with regard to the subject matter. I feel the author has good writing ability. Thank you for allowing me to read it and give it my review. SummerLyn
Excellent thoughts here, but my question to this sentence here: A large body of world opinion shares the view that Americans tend to insulate themselves from the rest of the world.
Should this word 'insulate' not be 'Isolate'? Because America seems to isolate themselves from others, portraying themselves as better than all. Just my thought, if you do not mind my sharing.
And this sentence: This author has taken a long look at Americans from the perspective a resident of India,
Should this read better as follows: "This author has taken a long look at American from the perspective as a resident of India." For some reason the way you have written it seems as if it is not right, but my English is different.
I continue to learn from this port, so I continue to read silently. Thank you for all that you share. Blessings~ SummerLyn
First Impression~How wonderful that one thing in life can lead you into another and another and yet...another.
Plot Thoughts~My thought is that this journey is not by chance and it reconfirms in your words, of how one thing can lead you to another, almost like stepping stones. I am glad that ultimately you did find this forum online and are here now. I am also happy it brought something positive to you. I know it has for me.
Errors~I didn't see any spelling errors or grammar. The flow of this was so good.
Overall Summary~Interesting your life! And I am glad I happened on it and received the chance to read it. Thank you for sharing a part of you with me and others who may happen by it. I hope you do not mind that I gave it a review. Wishing you peace in your heart~ SummerLyn
First Impression~ Easy for any reader to relate to that has had a relationship or love that was memorable.
Plot Thoughts~ If only we could put ourselves in a picture and just stop the hands of time. If only....for it is that sometimes when we are in the moment, it goes by so fast and before you know it, that time is gone.
I wish I could put myself in a
picture from the past to recapture all the time that has past.
Errors~The rhythm was there, but I felt that if you had better placed it into verse, it would have been far better. With the way you have done it above, it almost looks like a story instead of poetry.
My other suggestions is to watch your commas.
Overall Summary~Beautifully written and relayed to the reader. It is heartfelt and with passion, in my opinion. I feel the poet has a gift that just needs some sharp tuning.
Thank you for allowing me to read this and give it my review. SummerLyn
Gorgeous colors within this image here! I love where you have placed your message. All in all it is a great image for the purpose that you chose it for. Thank you for placing it here for all to view, and allowing me to give it my review. SummerLyn
First Impression~The title is capturing! Good choice in my opinion!
Plot Thoughts~I love the message relayed here through this poem. In truth, it is not just you who has a gift, but all if it can be fine tuned. This is my thought upon reading your poem.
Errors~I would suggest not using all upper case lettering to make a statement. While it may be alright in a chatroom, I just find(for my own self) it is not necessary to accentuate the word in such a way.
Overall Summary~All in all, this is a great piece! I feel you have such a talent...a 'gift' if you will, that just needs a bit of tweeking...I know I need this as well...in a way, we all do. 'Practice makes perfect'...I feel you are getting close to perfect! Keep up the practice! Great job and I thank you for allowing me to read it and give it a review. SummerLyn
First Impression~Good job with description and details. Immediately the reader knew what was in the box. The flow was smooth.
Plot Thoughts~I love how you whisked her from the dreaming into reality. This is great and you did it so well because I personally did not expect that. I wouldn't have guessed she was in the hospital.
Errors~ None were evident that I saw. I did notice you have a rating of "4", but unless you have corrected mistakes...this should be a "5", for I saw no flaws.
Overall Summary~You have manage to weave the times of past and present quite well here. Very sad in the end however, but not all stories have fairy tale endings. Great job all in all. SummerLyn
First Impression~A story of spiritual magic and mystery. Most certainly a good combination.
Plot Thoughts~Very intriguing! Clearly a young girl who had a troubled family life, although the details of why she ran away from her father are not known. Perhaps not important are those facts.
Great detail went into the characters to give the reader a visual idea of what they looked like.
Errors~A few errors, but not much. I would watch punctuation. An example is as follows:
"Fear me not Yvette, I am a friend," it was the voice!
In here, you have a comma after the word 'friend'. In reading the read of the paragraph, it seems to me that this should be followed by a <.> As it is the end of a sentence and not continuing in dialogue.
Overall Summary~ Excellent story relayed. A Magical story told quite well. It kept this readers attention. It is my thought that without some minor errors, this story could be a '5'. You have great imagination and with that, 'skies the limit'.
Thank you for placing it here and giving me this opportunity to read it, as well as review it. I enjoyed it. You have a 'gift' of writing.
I have to rate this with a 5 in stars, for the flow was quite good...the rhythm there and it brought about such a feeling that you almost knew this 'southern gentleman' that you speak of. Very beautiful and delicately done.
He was not rich in money,
but compassion he never lacked.
He valued his integrity,
out of conscience he would act.
Simply beautiful! Thank you for placing it out for me to read. I enjoyed it. SummerLyn
Gratitude guides me back to the shores of sanity,
My wounds will mend and heal and scar,
An eternal reminder to release all vanity,
I'll wish to forget on a future shooting star.
I am just beginning to learn to write poetry, but I have such an admiration of someone like yourself who can tell a story poetically. I love your arrangement of words and also of the subject matter, for I believe we all can relate to this. I know I can relate. Thank you for placing it here as I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of yours. SummerLyn
A beautiful flow here...good rhythm kept throughout. There really isn't anything I would change about this, for in my view it was perfect, as always. I love your image to go with, btw. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to read it. SummerLyn
Harshal, I am very new to writing poetry, in fact, I have only written one but I have an appreciation for this form of writing and wish to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this poem.
You came in my dreams
Any which way, night or day
The Wind held my hands
But your warmth swept me away
I could see the rainbows
Coloring each and every way
You'd changed my world
Made my heart, dance and play
A beautiful arrangement of words relayed. Thank you for sharing this. SummerLYn
All I can say is "Woww!!! What a story! " This shows great imagination. You do excellent work, in my opinion. Thank you for placing this out for all to view. I have enjoyed it, and look forward to more from you. SummerLyn
Very interesting thoughts you relay through poetry here. I did an essay entitled, "I must be Dreaming" that sort of goes along with what you relay here.
I thought it broke rhythm and could have been a bit smooth, but I did not see any spelling errors, nor grammar. All in all it was done quite well. I enjoyed it. Thank you for placing it out here for my view. SummerLyn
BAHAHAHA This is excellent...very funny...you have a great wit about you. I truly have enjoyed this. LOL I guess you have succeeded in what you set out to do...make someone laugh. Thank you for this gift...it helps to have a laugh. SummerLyn
Excellent work here. Great rhythm throughout. Such a beautiful and memorable time it must have been...I think we all can recall a fresh love like this in our lives, and if not, there is misfortune.
Thank you for sharing what you have and wishing you to enjoy your moments~ SummerLyn
This is soooooooooo touching! And to see that smile he has! You both are blessed. I hope that whatever wish you have for him is brought to him and therefore, both of you. Blessings~ SummerLyn
Haven't we, at one time or another searched and longed for that special someone?! I've even written somethings in my few writings about love and looking for that ONE.
You have relayed this so beautifully, I feel...It had a very smooth flow. Thank you for placing it here so I can learn from people with talent like you. SummerLyn
Very touching and sad because it so describes many who are in a nursing home. I know because I have gone to visit a friend there. Some whose family seems to have forgotten them. I pray for them.
You have captured this readers emotion with this and I felt it held a great rhythm while relaying such a great reminder to anyone who may happen to read this. Thank you for placing it out her for all to read. I have enjoyed it. Great job! SummerLyn
All a part of you! We are Other
Gee, you really have a great gift in my opinion. I love how this one flows and I love what you relay within each line. Great job! Thank you again for sharing what you do, I am actually learning from you with what you have placed out. This is how a poem should flow. SummerLyn
I don't know who Charlie is, but this is a beautifully done. One summer's night,
wild coyotes sang.
The trees rang with their chorus.
His companion compelled him to lift
his inner voice in sympathy...
in unison, all bayed.
I love this here...Thank you for allowing me to view your port I am enjoying what I am reading. SummerLyn
This has such a good rhythm to it, almost like a song. I like how you relayed her heart beating in that first line. It is different. My left breast thunders at the thought of you,
I don't see anything here that would need improvement, although I am just now learning poetry. Attempting my very first one, just the other day. I do have an appreciation for those like yourself that do it well and hope I can learn from you.
Thank you for allowing me to view it and I will be reading the rest here in your port. SummerLyn
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My thought is that this journey is not by chance and it reconfirms in your words, of how one thing can lead you to another, almost like stepping stones. I am glad that ultimately you did find this forum online and are here now. I am also happy it brought something positive to you. I know it has for me.
Interesting your life! And I am glad I happened on it and received the chance to read it. Thank you for sharing a part of you with me and others who may happen by it. I hope you do not mind that I gave it a review. Wishing you peace in your heart~ SummerLyn