Thank you for sharing your story. "Death Chamber
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These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful
The title Death Chamber, was the first thing that drew me to read the story. The title was well chosen and suitable for the item.
I loved that most of the story was written in dialogue, with little background information. It read almost like a screenplay.
The story flowed well, from the moment Simon Franks walks through the Lieutenant’s door. Mr Franks is sure he has a very short time to live, before Amos LaStrom, the evil crime lord finishes him off. Immediately the story starts to intrigue. Why has he so short a time to live? What is this information he is such a hurry to divulge? Through the story, one wonders if he is doing the right thing, and surely this is not an open and shut case. A feeling of impending doom is present throughout.
Your description of Mr Franks is good. An image appears of a short, buggy eyed man, with rotten teeth. Jerome Hawkins, the police Lieutenant, appears to be an older man, but physically strong, especially when he threw Simon out of the sixth floor window!
I did let out a little gasp when Hawkins suddenly threw Franks out of the window, I wasn’t expecting that, although I had my suspicions that Hawkins was a wrong’n.
I loved the story it was well written, I just wonder if it rang true. Why would Franks suddenly decide after doing LaStrom’s dirty work for over ten years, to come to the police and tell all? Also, as Franks himself said he would be the last to be suspected of betraying him. I wondered why Hawkins would be in cahoots with a mass murderer. For money? Or was he himself a killer, using the Death Chamber along side his mate LaStrom?
Thank you for sharing your grim tale. I enjoyed it and suspended belief for a few minutes.
Reviewed by Sumojo