*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sumojo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
Review Requests: ON
639 Public Reviews Given
639 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 3 4 5 -6- 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
126
126
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Kåre Enga in Udon Thani I was just scanning for something to review and came across this poem of yours.
There are many people who are just like your ageing turtle doves. They are looking for love, companionship or just a friend to help them as they age.
It’s a sweet poem, you old romantic.
I liked the form of six couplets an ideal one for this topic.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
127
127
Review of Promise  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello and welcome to WdC. I have read your poem and it resonated with me. A one sided love story. It’s hard to end a relationship and even harder to try to explain why. Your poem was a good attempt at doing so and perhaps the spurned lover could have accepted this poem as a reason without feeling devastated.
The words of the poem are good, expressive and well thought out. But don’t forget that even poetry needs punctuation. It helps the meaning you want to portray easier to follow. Three dots are enough in an ellipsis though.
Good job, thanks for sharing.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
128
128
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Description overload in this story. It has a menacing undertone alright, but I couldn’t help but smile imagining all the troop of creatures from the underworld making their way to your door.
Obviously they were easily satisfied by the small gifts and although they were short on dialogue they left your doorstep meekly clutching their pieces of candy bars and little candles. It was sweet in a kind of way.
Maybe they hadn’t expected to end up being a witch, dragon, werewolf or monster, but it had happened without their knowledge and had caused confusion.
However when the treat wasn’t available they seemed to realise negotiating wasn’t on the cards and a payment was expected.
Oh dear, next Halloween I shall have my front lights turned off and maybe an early night may be in order.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
129
129
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
That’s such a powerful poem, Carly. I loved the expressiveness of the words you chose.
I waited for the pain but none came I could almost see her as the realisation he had actually gone, hit her. I liked how she let herself see that her world wasn’t about to come crashing down around her but that maybe things could be even better without him in her life.
Great job.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
130
130
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, there. I’m reviewing this great poem as part of ‘I Write’

You just about said it all in these lines of poetry. I expect there will be much written about this time in our history but you covered the gist of it all. The loss of freedom, the pain of loss of life and the damage to the economies of the whole world. The last line was pretty spot on too. The human race is not that great. We have done our best to get on top of this illness, but there will be others which may manage to wipe out the human race eventually. As you say though the world will keep on turning and be better off without us.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
131
131
for entry "Andre's Song
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi, Jeff, I’m reviewing this as a part of I Write. I played ‘We don’t talk about Bruno’ and
I have to say that it’s a song that certainly wouldn’t be played often enough in my house to give me an ear worm. Heavy metal is not my thing, but each to his own.
But you certainly managed to write a nice piece about Andre’s obsession with one song. I think we all get stuck on one song every now and again. As a musical theatre fan, my ear worm candidates are usually show tunes. I think the last soundtrack was from the musical movie La La Land. I played it constantly for weeks. It’s quite a relief when eventually you get sick of hearing it.
Anyway good job.
Cheers Sue
132
132
Review of Bath Time  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This story gave me a chuckle. Your descriptions were very real. I felt for the poor child, not only for the obvious sickness but for being in such a predicament without someone to love and care for him. I’m presuming the character was a boy but of course I could be mistaken.
Though I would have found it easier to read if the big blocks of text were divided into seperate paragraphs, the story was interesting enough to hold my attention.
Well done.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
133
133
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (3.5)
It’s a good idea for a story and certainly needs expanding . There needs to be much longer explanation of this Julie character and who the person was who tries to explain to David what had happened to him. I wasn’t sure what the boat and captain had to do with anything either. I liked the beginning because it kept me reading. I usually don’t read stories unless they capture my interest. So now you’re not tied to a word count I’d definitely rewrite this with more explanations of people, place and time.
Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed the read.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
134
134
Review of Imponderables  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Zeke, your persistence in reviewing my little poems with humour has led me to take a look at your portfolio.
I actually love this poem. It’s written by someone with an amazing eye for the mundane. You’ve turned an ordinary day at the mall into something quite magical, interesting and thought provoking. Thank you so much for brightening my day.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
135
135
Review of The Raid  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you so much for another exciting chapter in the life of Coalie the blacksmith. You managed to convey the urgency as more and more was expected and needed from the young man. I could feel the constancy of the work during the battle and his utter exhaustion when he was allowed at last to stop.
I enjoyed reading your story very much.
136
136
Review of Snow Angel  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, I’m reviewing this story as part of ‘I Write.’

I’m so pleased this review opportunity fell to me because I learnt so much about Central Park!
You did a great job of describing the many things there are to see. I had no idea it was so interesting.
Besides the tour the story was just lovely. I could feel her frustration with you though. What took you so long? 🤔
I loved happy ending so the fact you’re happily married with three children was the icing on the cake, so to speak.
Thank you so much for sharing this lovely story.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
137
137
Review of The Last Date  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, I’m reviewing this story as you requested. Please be aware any suggestions are simply that and are personal. They are for you to accept or decline

The things I liked best
I liked the title. The Last Date. It draws the reader in, needing to know more.
I thought the first person point of view was very suitable for this piece. Sometimes it can be a little wearing on the reader but as the focus of the story was all on Sophia, the fact the reader had little information about the narrator, right up to the last couple of words, didn’t detract from the action.
The opening paragraph
The first sentence could have been written better. I first saw her as she was walking with a limp, from the right leg, down the side of the street around dusk.
I suggest changing it to read:I first saw the woman down the side of the street around dusk. She was walking with a limp.
After the words cradled in her arms omit and was

Para.2.
Fourth line there is an extra a before handmade quilt, which should be one word without the hyphen.

Para. 3.
1st line. I would suggest: her legs were freezing and tinged blue from the bitter cold weather.
4th line. Omit went around to my door

Para. 9
She passed her hand gently over each name and date, lingering on each branch…

Para. 10.
Unaware instead not aware.

Para. 11.
On an impulse. Rather than, out of impulse ‘

Para. 12. I knew she would not be able to walk I knew she couldn’t walk or stand

Para. 19. …Alzheimers unit for two of them

Para. 21.
omit…but I managed to sew…sewed

Para. 22.
I think it should read… was deaf. Your telling the story in the past tense. Am deaf is present tense.

I hope you can take or leave the suggestions. It’s your story and it’s lovely.
One more suggestion is that you run it through a grammar checker. There are comma errors but I’m not an aficionado of grammar especially commas!

Thank you so much for asking me to review this heartwarming story. I loved the little twist at the end.
You’re a really good writer and I hope to be able to read more.

Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
138
138
Review of The Beat  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi I’m reviewing this again for I Write because my last review didn’t count.
My thoughts still stand though, I found it to be clever considering the limitations of the contest. There was no doubt you were describing the heart without using any of the taboo words. Good luck with the contest, I also entered it. I like the challenge it sets, makes you really think about the words you use. In your case you did exceptionally well using so few lines. Congratulations.
139
139
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
How hard that must have been to write. I can’t imagine the grief you had to go through although you did well to convey a little of it in this soul baring poem.
What broke me up the most was that you have no photographs of your wife. I can’t imagine why that would be but it adds to your loss.
I’m lucky to still have my life partner and your poem makes me appreciate the time we’ve had and the few years we have left together.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
140
140
Review of The Beat  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really love this poem. You told a whole story in such few lines. Very clever not using any of the taboo words. There was no doubt what the subject was.
Well done, thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
141
141
Review of The Uninvited Hat  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
That’s a truly disturbing story. Your story began with the old guy whose clogged up nose and phlegmy cough made me squirm already. (I hate not being able to breath through my nose.)
The hat was disgusting, but truly well described, especially with the remains of a corpse still stuck inside. Then of course the owner searching for his lost hat, well who wouldn’t scream? Perhaps it was just the old man’s fever? I’ll pretend that’s it. 😱
Great story and imagination.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
142
142
Review of Business As Usual  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, I’m reviewing this poem as a fellow contestant on ‘I write.’ I had just sent Richard a review and entered my week five entry when I saw you had snuck in just before me. So Richard has received double reviews! Never mind I’ll review yours as well.

The first stanza elicits a feeling of pride in our industry and increase in wealth for a prosperous country.
The second however tells of the reality. Small companies being swallowed up by huge conglomerates, political parties and politicians with smiling faces, sweet words and promises and yet much stays the same for the masses.
It’s a fact though Jeff, it doesn’t matter which country you’re targeting, it’s the same story.
A well written, thought provoking poem. Thanks for sharing.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
143
143
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Well, Richard, you’ve excelled yourself with this account of the Awards. Everyone seemed to have a wonderful time. Lilli is such a great organiser isn’t she? I was so pleased to see Blimprider managed to drop in too, I wished I’d have been there to see his famous Blimp. Anyway I almost felt as if I was there, you painted the picture for me.
I’ll see you around the Dreamweaver Lounge sometime, I’ll fix you a decent drink.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
144
144
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
Can I please nominate Zeke
145
145
Review of Conventioneering  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Sandra, looking forward to seeing you in Texas. Great convention!
Cheers Sue
146
146
for entry "Sunrise
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I’m reviewing this poem as part of I Write.
I liked the use of the prompt. Starting the poem with, It begins you followed the parameters of the contest.
I loved your idea of coming awake to a brand new day. Dark night gradually changing colours until the bright light of the sun urges the sleeper to grasp the new day. Unknowing of what the day has in store is something we all experience each and every day. The gift of a brand new day.
Thank you so much for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
147
147
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
KingsSideCastle Thanks for taking me on a memory trip back to Bangkok. My husband and I backpacked around Thailand for seven weeks in 2003. What an amazing country it is and the people are so friendly. We saw the temple of which you write. There are so many temples and Buddhas you can get a little overwhelmed.
I didn’t know about the changes of clothing according to the season though, or that the King himself was involved in the changes of attire.
Thank you so much for sharing this memory.
Cheers Sue
148
148
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
KingsSideCastle I’m reviewing this entry as part of ‘I write Decade Edition’
I was intrigued to know a little about what WdC was back in 2007. It certainly sounds as if things have certainly changed around here since then. No Newsfeed! That is such an integral part of the site it’s hard to imagine how information was imparted to the general populace. The idea of a blog receiving on average thousands of views a day is staggering. I know that Kåre Enga in Udon Thani is saddened by the lack of views and comments he receives on his blogs and often speaks of the good old days.
I personally haven’t ventured into the world of interactive stories, however you may inspire me to take a look at what’s out there?
Can I ask what interests you in the interactive rather than writing solo, so to speak?
I certainly will check out this new book whilst I’m involved in the following weeks of this contest.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
149
149
for entry "Holiday Wishes
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing this lovely poem.
I love how the words you choose are inclusive of other beliefs at this time.
Everyone celebrates the holiday with their own beliefs, foods and traditions. Each tradition is built on hundreds of years of practice and none is better than another.
You point out that this is a time to reflect on the good and not so good things which have happened over the year. A time to renew, refresh and a chance to do better.
Well done for completing, ‘I write 2021’.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
150
150
Review of Reconnections  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Merit Badges for Fun  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Carly, this seems to be a part of a much longer story. There certainly have been a history between Zayda and Trace we aren’t privy to know in this chapter. I love the way you write the dialogue. It seems to flow naturally. It’s hard to critique a piece out of context, but all I can say is it’s quite intriguing. I gather Zayda is some sort of healer?
Good luck with the rest of the story/ novel?
I hope you can finish I write 2021. It seems everyone has abandoned it and you are so near. I’ll try to get you to the end if you have more pieces to enter.
Cheers Sue


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
296 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 12 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sumojo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6