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315 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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151
151
Review of Back to Dust  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Ezekiel
Thanks for submitting Back to Dust for reviewing.
The piece certainly highlights a world problem that of pollution of our oceans.
I found your use of descriptive words and phrases a little over the top.
The first sentence includes ‘simulated’ which is out of place here.
Instead of saying the sand was not smooth, describe what it is then.
Placing the words “frozen and chaotic motion” in the same sentence seems strange to me.
Some of your phrases such as “diligent waves and talismans of misfortune “ don’t fit into the sentence structure.
In the paragraph describing the old man I found the sentences too short.
What weight had he lugged around ? We’re you still referring to the ring?
Watch your tenses you often slipped from past to present.
You did say to nit pick although this is against my nature so I hope you don’t take offence at the remarks.
Anyway on the whole the work has merit and after a good edit I would really love to read again.
Regards
Sumojo

152
152
Review by Sumojo
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Thank you Matilda for submitting your piece for review.
It has merit for showcasing the differences between the children and the that lottery life is. Some win and others lose.
I think that the story would benefit from less telling and more showing.
A description of the second seven year olds living conditions would have had more impact than saying it was less like the first child’s.
This has the potential to make the reader think about the plight of the less fortunate.
Well done.
Regards Sumojo


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
153
153
Review of Human Upgrade  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Thanks for an intriguing and thought provoking piece.
Maybe not so far fetched one thinks, when only recently it’s been reported that Alexa and Google are listening into to our every conversation, storing the information for a later date. To what purpose one wonders?
Are they planning on an uprising, relegating humans to the compost heap as you suggest?
Well written and entertaining.
Sumojo


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
154
154
Review by Sumojo
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You say so much in so few words, written from the heart.
That vast distance between you and a lover may only be inches but it might as well be, as you say 2000 miles.
To be lonely when alone is sad, but to be lonely when lying next to someone you love is cruel.
Sumojo


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
155
155
Review of A Talk with Death  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked the premise of the story, that death was a thinking being.
The writer requires the reader to think about the meaning of life, a question that has confounded philosophers since time began.
A well written piece that kept the reader’s interest.
Well done, I look forward to reading more of your work.
Sumojo
156
156
Review of Supremacy  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing your experience. I needed to read it a few times before I appreciated the full picture.
I’ve been on the receiving end of a one sided conversation such as this. The shouter just gets louder to drown out any argument, as if by shouting their point becomes more valid, showing a complete indifference to one’s own point of view or take on the subject.
Well done for showing the scene is so few words
Regards Sumojo


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
157
157
Review of Reclaim Love Lost  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
Some really powerful words here. Made me remember the times when all that was needed to take the pain and hurt away was to be reached out to. To just be held and to hear the words that will soothe the sadness.
Thank you for sharing
Sumojo
158
158
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
Happy Christmas Jen, It’s great you’re trying different ways of expression. I requested a ukulele for Christmas but Santa brought me perfume and wrinkle cream!
Might have to buy my own uke
Love that you have your dogs to keep you warm, ( presuming it’s cold there where you are)
Here in Australia it’s 40 degrees centigrade.🥳
Cheers Sumojo
159
159
Review of December Solstice  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A mother’s worse nightmare which you captured so well in this poem.
Regardless of the dangers, perceived or real she seeks for her lost boy.
I can relate to this somewhat having lost a child but only for a short while. The absolute terror one feels is hard to put into words but you have succeeded. Well done
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