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565 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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151
151
Review of Dear Santa  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You had me laughing ;throughout the whole story. I have to say my favorite part would be the cows making a mess out of the bar. And the bartender didn't even say a word. I loved the accent you gave the writer of the letter. I enjoyed the names of the cows, it even rhymed. I got a good laugh out of the last one being a bull too. A great Christmas story. Keep on Writing.

-Jewel of Arabia

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152
152
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow, what a great way to tie in so many peoples lives with thier own tragedies. You did a great job. I have to say I liked Ms. Moon's and Beth's chapters the best. It's interesting to find out how different people are all connected. A great read! Keep on Writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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153
153
Review of A Child's Delight  
Rated: E | (4.5)
That's a lovely poem. It brought back me back to when I was a kid too. Although we never did take the pots and fill them with water. We did go sledding down the hill in my neighbors back yard. I liked how you rhymed things too, made it even more childish. My favorite part would have to be about Who would build the first Snow Angel. I remember doing that in the backyard, along with building a snowman in the front yard. Thank you for bringing back those memories. Keep on Writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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154
154
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A sad tale that was well written. I enjoyed the way you described his misery and the room. I almost cried, the emotion was strong in this piece. Very well written. Keep on Writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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155
155
Rated: E | (5.0)
That was hilarous. I was on the floor laughing. At least my dad knows the rules of shopping. Of course, since my mom's blind, he has to steer the cart. I'm sure he's learned. I love how you put everything in the King and Queen spech. Very nice. And oh so true too. My favoirte part has got to be the Land of Bakery. That place is dangerous! And I love the part about the mother bears, because that's how I describe my mom all the time. It's scary! Keep on Writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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156
156
Review of Blackout  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
That was incredible. I never thought he was dead. Although I was wondering why he didn't hear the air-raid sirens before. From what I remember of movies, those things are loud! I love how your male characters interact with their wives. It's always funny. A good read! Keep on Writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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157
157
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
That makes me want to go and join you. Sounds like you had a lot of fun. I never got to go to a summer camp, although I was offered the chance. I can't remember why now. But a lovely piece, that shows sometimes it's the simplest things that makes us happy.

-Jewel of Arabia

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158
158
Review of Last hour  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A good poem that is rather sad at the same time. I would consider getting rid of some of the puctuation, it would seem much more free flowing that way. I would also consider spliting up some of the lines, that way it will also look a little better. These are only suggestions of course, but keep on writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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159
159
Review of The Poetry Weeper  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I liked this poem, especially since I know what exactly you are going through. Or I should say exactly, as I am also losing my sight. Although mine is from a hereditary disease that I knew I had from birth. A little easier then finding out that you are losing your sight after having perfect vision for a long time. My vision has slowly been degenerating ever since I was born. One day I will wake up and not be able to see. But at least I'm somewhat prepared. Keep up your chin! Keep on writing too!

-Jewel of Arabia

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160
160
Review of How It Feels  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A depressing story that I'm sure happens. I know what it feels like to be ignored and picked on during school. Being a little different, or just plain not fitting in never helps. Some suggestions would be to capitalize CD, I would also put more spaces betwen die and she, and capitalize she. Otherwise a very well-written yet sad story. Keep on Writing.

-Jewel of Arabia

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161
161
Review of Mr. Jones  
Rated: E | (4.5)
That was a fun little piece. I have to point out that you're Writing ML Tags didn't work, just so you know. I'm a little confused as if this was a poem or a letter or just a monologue. But I did like the last part. Very funny. Keep on Writing.

-Jewel of Arabia

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162
162
Review of Smooth as Butter  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A fun little piece, and I had to laugh at the drunk. Poor Busker, just can't get a break. I was a little confused on what part the girl played, this could be expanded if you wanted to Maybe have them meet again, on a different day on the same corner. Let them develop some sort of relationship. Or you could have her be someone looking for new talent, unlikely as that may be. Keep on Writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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163
163
Rated: E | (5.0)
Another piece de resistance from you. I do have to agree with you though, we seem to have the least brains,next to the chicken. I hated chickens when I was dating a farmer. They were rather smelly and they ate their own eggs if you didn't pick them up in time. I knew that mules were a lot smarter then people give them credit for, I would rather have a mule then a horse leading me somewhere dangerous. Though my dog seems to think alchoal tastes pretty good. My dad also told me a story about how his dog drank someone's drink that was on the floor, made himself drunk. Keep on writing.

-Jewel of Arabia

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164
164
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
That is a definitely a different take on how the Pilgrims came to be. I love how you added in all the prejudices of the Indians that are in today's society into that story. The John Wayne bit had me laughing on the floor. Great job with the accents too. I thought for sure I was listening to two rednecks talking away. I'm suprised that if the Indians loved to gamble that much, that a single Pilgrim didn't lose their lives. Great story. Keep on writing.

-Jewel of Arabia

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165
165
Review of Guarantees  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a sweet letter that is complex. I love how you go about reassuing the person that although there are some things that you can't do there are others that you will try to accomplish. You have you're reasons for doing what you do as does the person this is being written too. I do have a suggestion:"I promise to help you help you get through your tough times." Help you is used twice here, just though I would point that out.

Otherwise a great letter. Keep on writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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166
166
Review of Abnormalities  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
That was one creepy poem. I love the imagery. Made me shudder in disgust and yet I could clearly see everything you described. I loved the ending, a major suprise. Keep on writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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167
167
Review of A Mother  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
A sweet poem celebrating the life of a woman who sounds extraordinary. We have to celebrate those that make a difference in anyone's life. Keep on writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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168
Review of BODY COUNT  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You had me laughing in my chair, I was asked by my dad what was so funny. Ah yes the army's lovely wisdom. I loved this story, a lighthearted attempt to something that was concidered a huge disaster. That poor deer, I can't believe you didn't hit it even with all t hat machine gun fire. I also can't belive you told the Battalion Commander that you killed a NVA! Great story. Keep on writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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169
169
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow, now that is interesting. I liked this piece and I have to agree with all of it. Especially number 2. Too many kids are just being spoiled and being asked for nothing in return. This is something everyone should read and think about. Keep on writing.

-Jewel of Arabia

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170
170
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Oh my, you had me laughing my head off throughout this entire story. I couldn't get over the fact that one vampire had an allergy to garlic while another one loved the stuff. Puts all those old legends to sleep. The back story on how they met was interesting and I wonder what the vampire is going to do after the whole garlic incident to his wife. Love the story, keep on writing!

-Jewel of Arabia

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171
171
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really liked this poem. It was so sweet and sad at the same time. I especially liked the way you had repeating lines in there. It emphasized what the women was feeling. I wanted to give a hug and tell her she did was she thought was right. Keep up the great work!

-Jewel of Arabia

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