A depressing story that I'm sure happens. I know what it feels like to be ignored and picked on during school. Being a little different, or just plain not fitting in never helps. Some suggestions would be to capitalize CD, I would also put more spaces betwen die and she, and capitalize she. Otherwise a very well-written yet sad story. Keep on Writing.
That was a fun little piece. I have to point out that you're Writing ML Tags didn't work, just so you know. I'm a little confused as if this was a poem or a letter or just a monologue. But I did like the last part. Very funny. Keep on Writing.
A fun little piece, and I had to laugh at the drunk. Poor Busker, just can't get a break. I was a little confused on what part the girl played, this could be expanded if you wanted to Maybe have them meet again, on a different day on the same corner. Let them develop some sort of relationship. Or you could have her be someone looking for new talent, unlikely as that may be. Keep on Writing!
Another piece de resistance from you. I do have to agree with you though, we seem to have the least brains,next to the chicken. I hated chickens when I was dating a farmer. They were rather smelly and they ate their own eggs if you didn't pick them up in time. I knew that mules were a lot smarter then people give them credit for, I would rather have a mule then a horse leading me somewhere dangerous. Though my dog seems to think alchoal tastes pretty good. My dad also told me a story about how his dog drank someone's drink that was on the floor, made himself drunk. Keep on writing.
That is a definitely a different take on how the Pilgrims came to be. I love how you added in all the prejudices of the Indians that are in today's society into that story. The John Wayne bit had me laughing on the floor. Great job with the accents too. I thought for sure I was listening to two rednecks talking away. I'm suprised that if the Indians loved to gamble that much, that a single Pilgrim didn't lose their lives. Great story. Keep on writing.
This is a sweet letter that is complex. I love how you go about reassuing the person that although there are some things that you can't do there are others that you will try to accomplish. You have you're reasons for doing what you do as does the person this is being written too. I do have a suggestion:"I promise to help you help you get through your tough times." Help you is used twice here, just though I would point that out.
That was one creepy poem. I love the imagery. Made me shudder in disgust and yet I could clearly see everything you described. I loved the ending, a major suprise. Keep on writing!
A sweet poem celebrating the life of a woman who sounds extraordinary. We have to celebrate those that make a difference in anyone's life. Keep on writing!
You had me laughing in my chair, I was asked by my dad what was so funny. Ah yes the army's lovely wisdom. I loved this story, a lighthearted attempt to something that was concidered a huge disaster. That poor deer, I can't believe you didn't hit it even with all t hat machine gun fire. I also can't belive you told the Battalion Commander that you killed a NVA! Great story. Keep on writing!
Wow, now that is interesting. I liked this piece and I have to agree with all of it. Especially number 2. Too many kids are just being spoiled and being asked for nothing in return. This is something everyone should read and think about. Keep on writing.
Oh my, you had me laughing my head off throughout this entire story. I couldn't get over the fact that one vampire had an allergy to garlic while another one loved the stuff. Puts all those old legends to sleep. The back story on how they met was interesting and I wonder what the vampire is going to do after the whole garlic incident to his wife. Love the story, keep on writing!
I really liked this poem. It was so sweet and sad at the same time. I especially liked the way you had repeating lines in there. It emphasized what the women was feeling. I wanted to give a hug and tell her she did was she thought was right. Keep up the great work!
-Jewel of Arabia
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