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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/t-pavilon
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72 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Greed  
Review by e_bgem
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A beautiful short story. Very interesting I must say, you described your characters pretty well, I was captivated by your characters, I was really hoping Darrel would be different or would change.
Could you write this as a novel,expand it so we could know more about the characters. At first,I thought the story was about Darrel until you introduced other characters. You made it easy understanding the lifestyle of each Character in the conversations making them come alive, you were very expressive. A beautiful story. Well done.
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A wonderful,well written piece full of suspense,imageries and vivid imaginations.i believe you shall be writing more of this,i especially look forward to knowing more about the creature and his existence,the reason for his blood lust. Beautiful piece. Well done
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: E | (4.0)
Feeling like a loser once in a while happens to every one, although I have to admit that some are simply excellent in all that they do. You expressed your emotions here and did so in such style that the reader could feel exactly how you feel it is a beautiful write up.
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Review of The Detective  
Review by e_bgem
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
it i a beautiful poem although it is short. it does expresses the poet's meaning and view towards the victim in person. i would advise that more figures of speech should be made use of,with the right choice of words to show the detective's pain at being unable to protect the victim,bringing about a mood that will show sorrow to the readers but it is a beautiful poem none the less but i believe you can do greatly better.
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Great story but I would rather it be called a Journal,you description of fishing is fascinating most especially with a bamboo rod,you described very very well,you took into consideration the atmosphere,the humidity,the serene environment,the lovely view,the clear of the water,the insects and animals nearby,you went indepth into how the bamboo enables you to feel the movement of the fish almost every part of it,I couldn't help but imagine fishing with a bamboo, I think one of these days,I would have to try it,well done
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Review of Coyote  
Review by e_bgem
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I guess this is an incomplete work,it was a beautiful piece,your description of the Coyote is quite interesting,I was inclined to have pity on Sol,the feeling of being abandoned,rejected and having to fight and fend for himself isn't so easy,your description of Ranklins' occupation is also easy to understand and with the way the story goes,I bet he is on his way to solve some big murder case, interesting piece,well done
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Review of Heart's Desire  
Review by e_bgem
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
A shocking revelation,at first I thought the girl was dreaming and I would have advised that she wakes up and then I was led into believing that she was an orphan and had all her sisters around her and when they were taken away,she felt lonely but then I thought she was sick and had to be taken to a hospital waiting to recover but at the end I realised she was a victim not knowing what her fate is and what lay ahead, good piece,well done
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Review of The Sound  
Review by e_bgem
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A very interesting story,written in a simple setting and the main character very ordinary, I would recommend you to write a movie someday, the piece is beautiful,a young man moves into an apartment and is being haunted by a sound which leads him into destroying the house,getting into trouble and losing a relationship,he thinks he has won when he moves out of the apartment but another beginning,I would have suggested that he buys an ear muff,a beautiful piece,well done
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Review of Grimorium Within  
Review by e_bgem
Rated: E | (3.0)
It is a beautiful magical tale,your descriptions were vivid,you explained deeply and also wrote a lovely story,it reminds me of magical movies like Harry Porter,well done.
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wow.....,an interesting and impressive work,also very funny and well calculated,it had a mysterious part and the supernatural part,it made me pity Scuzzy and Ramona having to wait for thirty years before their love could be filled,wonderful,well done
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: E | (3.5)
A simple poem,simple enough to give its meaning,lovely rymes although I would suggest that you use imageries so the readers can feel the boys' predicament....
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Review of Waiting for a Son  
Review by e_bgem
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
very beautiful write up,at first I thought he had lost his son and began griefing for him but fortune smiled on him,a joy for a long seen son,well done
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
beautifully written,I admire the writing of the poem in old english,at first I thought it was a biblical verse before I read otherwise,well done
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Review of A Deafening Hush  
Review by e_bgem
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
a beautiful write up,showing how heart breaking it is to lose a loved one.......,but i would like to suggest that more imageries should be used so the emotions could be felt better..... Thank you
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
a really beautiful story,not really a love story but still a love story,i love it,well done
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Review of Amnesia Chapter 1  
Review by e_bgem
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
wow......the story is interesting,so much for being disobedient although it is going to cost him his life,well done
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
a fight for kingdoms,planets and freedom,very intriguing,the novella proves to be beautiful although there are some few additions,I would like to make.....
Erin has a lot of advantages on her side considering her empathic powers,her only disadvantage is the slavery of her people and lack of funds,I would love it better if the prince could have some powers that would make him superior to Erin but due to his gentleness,he choses to hide it until when absolutely necessary.........
Wonderfully written,well done
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The story is one which points the reader to read the next one,a sci-fi no less,built around interactions with other people from various planet,Erin portrays a very determined lady,ready to do anything to get what she needs,the prince also has his plans towards the lady sitting beside him, a clash of two hard-headed and determined person will make this story an impressive,a beautiful chapter,keep writing
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Review by e_bgem
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
intriguing,a story wonderfully written,soaked in powerful imaginative descriptions,showing the value if friendship and religion in people's lives....well done
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Review of Road to Freedom  
for entry "Chapter 6
Review by e_bgem
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This brought tears to my eyes,you are a beautiful writer
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Review of Road to Freedom  
for entry "Chapter 5
Review by e_bgem
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
You took me back in time to the post-apartheid era,wonderful
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Review of Road to Freedom  
for entry "Chapter 4
Review by e_bgem
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
very wonderful
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Review of Road to Freedom  
for entry "Chapter 3
Review by e_bgem
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Funny and lovely
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Review of Road to Freedom  
for entry "Chapter 2
Review by e_bgem
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
again intriguing,i can not wait to read the next chapter
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Review of Road to Freedom  
for entry "Chapter 1
Review by e_bgem
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
wow,what a chapter,impressive...
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/t-pavilon