Hi, thank you for entering"Invalid Item" into the Bite Size Poetry Contest. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
Reminds me we are all children playing on the earth.
Suggestions:
Nice visualizations, but You have one line of freedom for description.
Overall Impression:
I like the message of this piece and you illustrate it well.
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi, thank you for entering"Cygnus" into the Bite Size Poetry Contest. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
Lovely piece with vivid images.
Suggestions:
You painted the image well. No suggestions.
Overall Impression:
I liked this piece but it didn't move me too much, just painted the picture which was well done.
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi, thank you for entering"Afterglow" into the Bite Size Poetry Contest. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
I could feel the warmth of this piece.
Suggestions:
I can not think of any as I read and reread this piece. It is lovely.
Overall Impression:
I love how you capture the warmth of affection and how it lingers when you are apart. I know this feeling well. Well done!
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi, thank you for entering"The Feet of Angels" into the Bite Size Poetry Contest. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Here is my scoring method:
3= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.
Comments:
First Impression:
Great poem that reflects the difference between the working angels and the ones that just look pretty.
Suggestions:
Even though I like the imagery, I would like to see more descriptions. Maybe experience how the angels help or their angelic voices...what do they sound like?
Overall Impression:
This is a nice poem with a great morale. That to help out...sometimes we have to get our feet dirty. The poem has a nice flow.
Good luck in the contest! Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "Lost Tears Found" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
I was interested from the beginning and kept asking questions.
Suggestions:
I got stumped at "Lisa had gone, taking the rest of them with her." I caught it at the end with the last line which is a nice wrap up. I would suggest maybe rewording the line. I kept asking what was "them". The rest of the company, workers, what? Then I got the tears.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
Didn't see any
Overall Impression:
This is a good piece but I really didn't feel sympathetic for the main character. To me he was a typical business man who lost in the stock market. I wondered what did he do that was so bad that he wanted to kill himself..
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "Orange Rose" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
I can depict the fading of a person, the simile being the rose, with this piece.
Suggestions:
I know this is free form, but there should be consistency with the flow of this piece. For example, the stanzas have various amount of lines. It first starts off as three lines then four lines but almost to the end you throw in six and this disturbs the flow.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
No changes needed.
Overall Impression:
This is a nice piece that could use a little bit of editing to make it a great piece. Nice visualizations.
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "Keeper" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
I love this part the most:
"The chasm that grows between us
More abstract then Van Gogh"
Suggestions:
Change," But not the seasons," to "But never the season." I think this would add the right touch to the flow and maintain your thoughts.
Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:
There are none I could suggest.
Overall Impression:
Nice emotional piece that is well written. I look forward to reviewing more of your work.
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "Invalid Item" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
This piece has potential for so much more.
Suggestions:
I would combine the first two lines to be one. I would get rid of the third and fourth line. They don't do anything for me to feel the roaring water. I would also suggest using syllables for rage and churn, unless you are using it to emphasis or make a point. For example, using the same line every fourth line would create drama and make the piece flow more.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
I didn't see any misspelling or punctuation errors.
Overall Impression:
Like I said before, this piece has some great bones and with a few tweaks would be even better.
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "The Jet" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
This is a nice piece full of curiosity of a child.
Suggestions:
The sixth stanza, in my opinion, doesn't flow right. Maybe something like: The people are passengers aboard the plane,Commuting back to their domain.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
I would take out the comma from the fifth line. It isn't needed for the flow and slows the piece.
Overall Impression:
I enjoyed your writing and look forward to reviewing some more.
Thank you, Taizia
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Hi, thank you for allowing me to review "Come With Me" . The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.
Comments:
First Impression:
You took me into a beautiful world and the visualization was wonderful.
Suggestions:
You create such a vivid world with sight and some touch. Try to bring in smell or touch. For example: Soft lilies line the ground, fragrance rises up from the field...and so on. Let the reader experience more than the visual.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
I didn't see anything wrong with this area. You used punctuation to your advantage to help with the flow of this piece.
Overall Impression:
Absolutely wonderful. I look forward to reviewing more of your work!
Thank you, Taizia
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