What a strange story. It's pretty good though. The only spelling error I found was at the beginning of the second-to-last paragraph (my mind spAn==>my mind spun) but otherwise, the vocabulary is nicely balanced.
The only trouble I had was that the story doesn't seem to pack much of an impact. We're expected to believe that some kid's charisma hypnotizes a jail guard in just a few short words? What happens if the kid managed to hypnotize the guard into...well, doing whatever it is that he wanted her to be doing? As it seems, his only intent is to convince the guard that he's innocent...but so what? So the guard's opinion changes. Meh. Of course, if the kid was hypnotizing the guard into letting him out of his cell, he was doing a pretty bad job. By the end of the story, the guard seems to be having trouble standing up straight.
Finally, the final sentence seems numb. So he's a murderer. Yup...lots of those around these days; doesn't make the kid very special. It can't be considered a 'twist' ending, because he pretty much admits to being a murderer halfway through the story.
I mean this in the best possible way, but you poisoned the story for me before I even had a chance to read it.
For one, your request reads "I hope to leave you with questions". So, before I even open the file, my imagination is going: What's the author going to do, not explain something? I already know that whatever questions I have once I read this won't be answered. But, I'm already looking at the story, so I might as well read it...
For two, the description is "a thread. can you tell me what color?" ...is this a story, or is it a game? that sounds like you're teasing the reader--the wrong way.
As for the story, it seems pompous and unnecessary. The vocabulary is complicated and reminds one of reading a medical journal. The story has no feeling: it seems sterile and cold, without life. Keeping track of whatever this story is about is borderline impossible. Somewhere in the middle, it starts talking about hermits and God, though what these are metaphors for, I haven't the slightest. Not enough time was spent developing the location of Angela and Samuel for me to make the connection.
Definitely a quality story. The narrator's accent lends a sense of realism to the character, but isn't prominent enough to be overpowering--I only had to reread a couple of lines, but only because I'd never heard of the word 'pert'. The little picture at the top is a nice touch, too. Again, tasteful, but no overbearing.
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