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371 Public Reviews Given
376 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Peter and the Roof", is a funny story, and I like the word play in the title. This short story is written as an entry in a vocabulary contest, so certain words are used, and used well, as one character is described as, "Joe was a loquacious butcher." The story tells of Peter going to the butcher shop to buy some meat, but then getting into s scrape with a burly rooster, no less, and of the brawl in the street that then ensues. "The combatants rolled in entangled fury down the street, past parked car and amazed pedestrian." It is funny, and the action is well-conveyed. The writer succeeds with fine imagery, humor and active expression. Very enjoyable. Thanks for sharing this piece. Keep writing.
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Review of Tattered Wings  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is an honor to review your work. I am not a professional copy editor.
These are my humble opinions as a writer, reader, and lover of words.

Stellar Composition:

“Tattered Wings” is a poem about hope and overcoming. Even though life may be, Tattered Wings,” the fact that there is hope, then to fly “once more” is possible, and broken hearts, “will mend in time.”

Neutrinos and Flares:

The poem is finely penned in the Italian form, Ottava Rima. The syllable scheme is, for the Italian form, 11, and for the English form, it is 10. Here the poet uses for 10 and 11, with (9) lines using 11, and (7) lines using 10. Each stanza is eight lines, adhering to the form, and flow is very good. Rhyme scheme is abababcc, dededeff, which the poet follows quite properly. The Red Giant detects no errors in spelling, punctuation or grammar.

Prominence:

The poem begins with a fine line and a fine adage: “They say that the devil is iin the details.” Later on we have, “Hope’s wings will carry me above the pain,” which is so apropos for the theme of hope. The recurring, “happily ever after”, goes well, as it is an effective delineation. Effective words are used, such as, “shroud,” “remembrance,” and “abandoned.”

Red Giant Status:

The poet succeeds in an effective message of hope, wherein, “Hope’s wings,” although, “...tattered and torn,” will lift him above the pain and the disappointment that so often occur from the failure of the, “happily ever after.” The cynicism is effectively displayed with the line, “We have been poisoned by these fairy tales,” but nonetheless, the final outcome is to again fly, or, “...soar without restraint in a sun-filled sky.” Though wings be tattered, they are by no means broken.

Thanks so much for sharing your work. Best of luck, and write on.

Red Giant Signature
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
In keeping with the buddy-system of our poetry club, it is my honor and privilege to review your work. I chose this poem, “Miracle on the Hudson,” because of the interest in that most remarkable event, and also because it is a “Cleave Poem,” and that is new to me.

This poem is (9) lines total, divided into two stanzas of (5) and (4) lines. And of course it is a Cleave poem. I looked that up to see exactly what that is. Basically, it is three poems in one, a left part, a right part, and then the poem in its entirety. So, of course, the two individual poems contained in the poem as a whole is what the “cleave” is all about, a unique and cool idea.

So overall, the poet describes the Hudson event, with the geese flying and the jet airliner flying and then the date with destiny, “when danger converged.” Then the plane went down, “without power”, but they survived the drama due to the efforts of the skillful crew.

Then as you read the left poem, the concentration is on the geese, “in formation” in a fateful moment of destiny, then ending as they were, “plucked from the sky”, and were all wiped out (there were no survivors; they got sucked into the engines). The use of the word, “plucked” is cute and apropos.

Now, moving to the right side poem, you have the jet liner in the winter sky, and danger converging without warning. It continues then, “without power”, but second chances, “were brought to loved ones / by a skillful crew.”

Cleverly and skillfully done, I can’t wait to try one of these!

This poem gave me a lift. That’s good when you’re sullen, and down in the ditch. Write on.
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like, "The Secret Life of Flowers", they are life, too. Putting it into a sonnet like this seems so apropos. Very nice word selection, with two new words to me, along with the iambic pentameter, this form seems so appealing, especially when applied with fine poetic skill like this. Congratulations on your win in the Traditional. Now I can't wait for spring, and the flowers blooming. More people need to appreciate our flower friends.! Nice image, too. Richard
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105
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
Donation
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Review by Teargen
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Flight of the Fancy Free" is an uplifting poem, stated by the author as a "eulogy in the form of a poem" so I take it that this is to celebrate someone's passing. And it is done so with charm and aplomb, reflective of the spirit that is now free. The immediate tone is set with, "She wanders spritely / Through this space / A gentle spirit / A slip of grace". The apropos lines continue with such lines as, "She flitters through / The hands of time". The tone is good and the flow is excellent. The rhyming structure moves it along with "Fancy Free" pace, and the ending ties it all together with appropriate panache. Word selection is fine and I detect no error. A very nice eulogy, a fine poetic pen. Write on.
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Review by Teargen
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
"No One Takes It Once" is a lovely poem. It is 34 lines total, with eight stanzas of 4 lines each and then two concluding lines. There is occasional rhyme but this is a "flow" poem with appropriate words and gentle yet effective lines and phrases. It's about roads in the woods, and forks, and rivers and an occasional deer with even the moon as a guide. And don't think that when a clearing arrives that you are in the clear, for there's just another wood. It appears that this is "Infinity Woods" with no way out, no exit, no escape from the, "familiar crunching" or the "trudging just habitually." Seems that choices were made, and that choices led to more choices and to consequences, and that even lovers drowned in rivers, but, these are the woods that try men's souls. It has to be, though, because no one takes it once.
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
Donation
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Review of Gentle Hands  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
There is a gentleness in, "Gentle Hands", and yet at the same time a strength in the sincerity of its well placed words. Right from the go, it grabs the reader with the unique and powerfully gripping image of, "I crawled into my broken heart", and then, once there, the poet sets a "love alarm." The poet describes darkness, and loneliness, yet realizes that a door is there, to be opened, the discoverer being gentle, especially with hands so gentle. The, "...gentle words of caring", are realized, and they are able to draw, "...a portrait of the world". Nice words, well combined. It is felt here, deeply, the appreciation, and a reciprocal spirit flows from both the words and the tone. A dichotomy sometimes exists between gentleness and strength, yet here the poet melds the two into a fine poetic piece that flows so effectively in a loving and appreciative spirit, a spirit of gentle hands.
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
Donation
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.5)
"With Irregular Thumps" is an interesting poem about discordance. It is (20) lines total in (5) equal stanzas. Parts of the poem have alternating rhyme, other parts do not rhyme or have some half-rhyme. The flow is good as is the word choice. Different examples of irregular thumps are presented, like fingers tapping and raindrops. Even though the fingers "...tap an incessant beat", we get to a never completed crescendo but then, "Note after note and--discordance." A real nice line is in stanza (2), talking about the rain: "In glorious liquefaction it flows." The poem continues on with examples of an eagle in chains and also life, as to, "...hide in the Cave's recesses." The piece ends, again with the theme of discordance, now with how the mind, "...plays games of its own." There is some good imagery as well as dynamic phrasing. A well-composed poem, intriguing and thought-provoking. Write on.
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
"I can Wrestle My Dad" is a wonderful poem about a 5 year old girl wrestling her Dad and winning, declared so by referee Mom. This 12 line poem is divided quite right into 4 stanzas. The flow is fine and easy with superb 8-6 rhythm, with the exception of lines (1) and (11), which are 9 rhythm, but it hardly detracts at all. It is written from the point of view of five, drawing us in, placing us there in innocence and childhood delight. It is lighthearted and touching, with good imagery as well as displaying fine dynamics. And it is punctuated with an active and excellent ending, bringing a fine piece of poetry full family circle. Write on.
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
Manipulation from the so-called appointed, those holy men, has always been a problem. In this poem here, "Let Not Their Boasts" , that awfulness is presented in an excellent form and its truthfulness rings clear. This poem is so very well constructed, with wonderful (8) rhythm and skillful uniform rhyming in all stanzas. There are 4 stanzas, each one 5 lines, and they all rhyme. The flow is terrific. A philosophic poem that hits home, sweeping us up right off the bat with, "In days of great philosophy / Debate exposed false sophistry." The so-called God equality paled to the reality of death. It talks of the lechery of despots who co-opt God for their domain. The justification of the evil that men do in the name of God is powerfully presented. What is the moral compass heard by, "...pedophiles in robes absurd / That swore it was the Christ they heard." A bright light of reality work here on the lecherous cancer by the monstrous pricks humming their cant in the name of God, behind in myriad ways and lusting little behinds. Kudos, write on.
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.5)
The sonnet is one of poetry's fine challenges. Here, in "A Child Still Trembles" the poet goes back to the fearful days of childhood, using the metaphor of the woods as the scene ("...within the wood;" and, "...the center of the wood.") It follows the sonnet form of 14 lines, alternating rhyme and then consecutive for the final two line, and the10 meter is close to perfect, exceeding by just one in lines (1) (3) and (14), as with the word, "child" which in a way is close and nearly one. The word choice is good, the poetic construction excellent. Take for example this dazzling phrase: "In frenzied foment running wretched wild". Not just uniquely artistic, but flows out like water as a delight. The brutal fear is highlighted, as steps are taken, but they are stuttered, and they bring, "...terror deep within." This return to fear alters the adult integrity because there is the "...full fragmentation of his whole." Sharply grand here in style and conveyance. The reality is faced "...in all its vast complexity" as the clear memories compel him to face the fear, the childhood fear. That sense is imparted here to us admirably. There is some fine alliteration throughout these lines, such as, "timbered tone". Thanks for sharing this evocative sonnet. Write on.
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Regarding Day's Longevity" is a fine poem showing poise and unique style. It is 15 lines of 3 equal stanzas, with good flow and good rhyme scheme. The rhyme pattern is ABBAA, nicely scripted. It begins stating that the most stable men, "...fear what is not known" and stating that "They hide from solitude and run from sorrow." This is quite well said. As the poem progresses, thoughts are examined in light of being alone, and the fact is brought out that a sad mind "...holds much to show." There is love and suffering, and sadness is not a match for love, unfortunately. The aspect of love, perhaps in some brief time, having some effect on "The longevity of days" which is a stylish concept. A very good line: "A cycle of thoughts pushing stability to its brink." I am quite fond of poems dealing with thought, and like this reference to stability. It is a though-provoking poem with an undercurrent of sadness, aptly constructed with good word choice and polished tone. Quite well done, write on.
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Review of MY ORANGE MOON  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
"My Orange Moon" is a fine poem that expresses love and emotion to the loved one. It is a well-composed poem, with fine language and solid construction uniquely put, but also gentle in its approach, and deep felt. "You are the trance that keeps my eyes hostage" and "You are my soul's high song--my mind's full occupation;" This is lovely, powerful, captivating in its mature aspect. The theme of complete giving of oneself to another, the devoted love is outlined in a powerfully dynamic and lasting image of an orange moon; I can see it right there on the horizon. Here we have 15 beautiful lines, divided into 3 equal stanzas that present to the one no finer tribute to warm the heart and last as a keepsake transcending any diamond. Write on.
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Review of Your fault!  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Your fault!" is a 10 line poem,, an accusatory poem obviously as the title would suggest. The poem flows pretty good and the rhyming is consecutive and well performed. All the emotional responses, like anger and crying are the indictable factors: "When I'm angry, you're the reason why," When pain is referenced, we have the sharp,, "...needle in my eye". The poem is a cry of sorts, with no doubt of the obvious pain that's going on here, and particularly the adamant assertion of where the fault lies. It is good yet basic, with a somewhat strong ending which I shall not give away. There is the hint of specificity there and of course the most vivid image already been alluded to, with the eye. There are 3 exclamation points, including the title; this poem would work well even without them, probably even better. In lines (6) and (8) the "who's" can simply be "who". Thanks for posting and sharing, best wishes for success, and write on
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (3.5)
"On my phone, all alone" is an emotional 16 line poem about feelings for someone, the love and the pain and mostly then the pain when the feelings are not returned, or more to the point, when one is ignored. It begins respectfully, "Scrolling through" pictures. It is revealed that the happiness is now pain. Line (3) in fact is real good. There is a bit of self-indictment, and regret. Coming to terms with this ended relationship is difficult, difficult in the way it ended. Most ending of the heart are difficult. Some technical aspects now. In line (3), "happieness" should be "happiness". In lines (6) (7) (8) (9) some words, such as "FOOL" are all caps and this should not be done. I realize the emotional emphasis, but it is best left a small letters. In lines (11) and (12) we have the word, "couldve" which of course should be "could've". Maybe this is a new trend, but I am unaware. Similarly, in line (14) "I hope you'll do the same!" with the exclamation point there that's, in my opinion, not needed for similar reason; it's called understatement, and with this, it usually conveys much more impact to the reader. Lastly, in the next to the last line, line (15), we have, "It sucks that this *relationship* " /... I think a better word can be employed here, in that this is telling us to be sure, but of course showing us with language to then let us conclude it so is a much more worthy goal. And the word relationship standing on it's own without those stars would, I feel, be much better. I am glad you found the courage to express yourself in the surrounding of such pain, and encourage you to write on.
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Review of My Garden  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.5)
"My Garden" is a nice poem, 14 lines, three stanzas of four lines and then a two line ending, so it reads pretty much as a sonnet. The rhyme is consecutive and good overall, with one half rhyme, more or less, with "path" and "pass." Line rhythms are 8 and 9, with one line, line (2), a 10: "Wild with violets and fragrant rose." The last two lines are splendid 8, and end this poem with lovely power. The imagery is good, with "Bright daffodils" and "Sweet tulips" as well as a key around a neck and a fence and gate. The poem speaks of a garden in the heart, and who might get in considering the ability to get that key that is, "...around my neck". And of course the fence around the garden is defense. This poem is sincere and produces a warm and nice feeling. It's all pretty darn swell, but I would pick the second stanza as best, along with the last two lines. Take care of this garden, it's a good one. Write on.
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Review of Lost  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Lost" is a good poem that captures depression and despair. It is 11 lines of free verse. The words and phrases are apropos to the theme of being lost. We have "desolation" and "empty void". The premier line, to me, is, "I cannot breathe the foul air of death". As for emphasis, this line is repeated further on in the poem. The poet effectively captures the mood intended. The poem ends strongly, with sap draining "...from the tree of life", and we also have the very good, "Amber droplets of despair." Write on.
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Review of Clouds  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Clouds" is a delightful poem. We can see a lot in the clouds. Here the poet sees a wealth of things in the clouds, all things from small rabbits to dolphins to a violin. Even, "...children playing,/going on the swings." Perhaps my favorite image (maybe because of its uniqueness and because I wrote a poem about it), is that of an iguana! That's neat. The poem is 40 lines divided into stanzas of 4 lines each, with a good rhyme pattern, mostly lines 2 and 4, with some exceptions. It's a happy poem with lots of imagery, not surprising due to all that's seen up there! I am concerned somewhat about the elephant, not so much the guppy. And the penguins definitely get a nod. An enjoyable poem, testifying to imagination. Write on.
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Review of The Amazon Chick  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (5.0)
"The Amazon Chick" takes us into the Amazon Jungle with sharp imagery, portraying a "tomboy of slender build." This "sporty lady" is described well, and it is clear she is a warrior. For the jungle is a dangerous place, a "vibrant place", but the Amazon Chick is tough and has skill. When she played, even the "guys got bruised." In its 20 rhyming lines, we get a good picture and story of this jungle lady, and a stark reminder at the end that one can't relax there with even a nod, due to the possible fatal consequence. A well-done poem, colorful and active. Write on.
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Review of The Smiling Rope  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.5)
"The Smiling Rope" is a well-written poem about the rope, or noose, to which death comes about either as capital punishment or suicide. A grim topic, yes, but well-explored and aptly penned, a snappy 12 line examination of something that is part of reality, just as tsunamis are. The writer employs a tie of irony here, in the title, with the word, "smiling". The first stanza is 8-7-8-8 and flows well, with alternating rhyme. Stanza 2 also has alternating rhyme, well-done, but the rhythm increases to all 9. The last stanza goes back to 8, except the last line, which is 9. I like the first stanza best, and think the first 2 lines get this poem off to a very good start. The words used are good and well-fitting ("doomed go-getter). The poem ends strongly, with a stark punch. This is a good poem, and the only suggestion I humbly offer is to take off the (!s) after "choke" and "all" as I feel the understating would actually make this poem speak louder. A good work here on a serious subject, and the effect and the irony comes through. Write on.
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Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Just A Wave Of Hello" is an uplifting poem, basically simple yet with much truth. It is 20 lines total broken up into 5 stanzas with a good consistency. The first 4 stanzas begin with "A wave of hello" and diverts with good effect in the last stanza with "It only takes just a wave of hello." The writer likens a wave of hello to kindness and "...a sign of fresh start" as well as, "Of unending rebirth..." All through there is a positive outlook here, even with it coming "after the pain of goodbye." The words and phrasing fit well here with the poem's tone. We reach far with a wave of hello.
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Review of Fear and the Body  
Review by Teargen
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think not enough people know of the ravages that anxiety can cause. Panic attacks are cruel invaders able to incapacitate at a moment's notice. This poem here, "Fear and the Body" vividly relates the physical terror and hurts that the invader boldly applies. The writer describes the pains and the pulses, the shaking, the burning, all sorts of physical manifestations that cut one off at the knees and and then laughs at the immobility. I would only offer a few areas for improvement, such as, "I catch the wall with my shoulder..." If I may, here, I believe you mean that you hit the wall, or bumped it, so perhaps something like, "My shoulder bumps the wall", or maybe even "I shoulder the wall." The narrative of the poem tells us that you are, indeed, sick, so perhaps the last line could be strengthened, I could offer suggestions but I know you could aptly apply something with a bit more punch. Overall a fine poetic description of the anxiety demon. Write on.
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