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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/teffom
Review Requests: OFF
2,711 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Lefu  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
DEC 1, 2016

Hello to Anthony Sanders .. with thanks for your entry in 2016's "Invalid Item

Must say, dear author, that this story really surprised me. All along, due first person presentation, must admit, I hoped for a reprieve for the lad.

Alas, no. Suppose this is what flash horror genre is all about.

Note: LEFU certainly manages to make use of very scary details.

The intro fits the plot very well.

Good luck in the contest.

Cordially, teffom@writing.com


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
NOVEMBER 21, 2016

Hello Mr. Kane --- Thank you for your entry into "Invalid Item

I took a few pauses to thoroughly enjoy your traditional length short story, THE PEOPLE UPSTAIRS. Great title!

This is indeed a clincher. You've appropriate setting --- Long Island.
Family tie and characters, Grandmother, David and even Dolon --- whose concluding phone call ends the tale in an endearing type compliment as if a payback to the Sullivan family.

OF: The people upstairs, those invisible mites whom harass the kind old lady, who even cooks for them -- using the hostess card here is quite an addition -- the unplugged TV, reminiscent of Steven King's
STORM OF THE CENTURY -- all combine with fine plotting, step-by-step fortitude making this one a true keeper.

Good Luck in the contest.

Cordially, TEFF
"Invalid Item


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3
3
Review of THE HOME  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
NOVEMBER 20, 2016

When entering a nursing home, Mercy House, Bob Williams leaves behind kind neighbors and a dog named Winston.

When memories flood Bob's mind, the patient systematically experiences detailed visions of an establishment filled with ghosts gone verbal.

Into the twain comes a deceased wife, actual lapses in the faults of said care facilities and a will to prevent the worst.

This is a well written, traditional short story and I thank, "Invalid Item member W D Wilcox
for entering "Invalid Item

The realization always hits home while reading THE HOME, that life is fragile and the spirit world intense.

Cordially, TEFF


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
November 17, 2016

Dear Donkey Hoetay Your story (entered into 2016's "Invalid Item is simply amazing. Granted building horror that be of the "intruder" in the home of "Rachel Steinbok" takes a bit of patience ---

However, IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER ---

LIKE: "My heart marched up the avenue of my heart ..."

"manufactured bravado"

"epic production"

A dispatcher's nonchalance === as if "reading directly from a recipe book"

All of these details are very, very good. Classic use of words exacting an ulterior way to relate the tale for various paragraphs.

Like: "She spilled onto the floor like a discarded plaything ..."

and "breathing nightmare."

The title SIX BREATHS FROM OCTOBER is catchy and also memorable.
Often folks (onsite and offsite) might choose what to read by an attractive title like this one. Excellent!

Then ... mid tale this reviewer goes -- aloud, mind you ---

OH NO! Not the poltergeist! Between me and you, and PRP (PubRevPg) I scared my own cat.

And into the foray, bongo drums, a trip to Rio and well --

Suggest a serious place to hark this one, which is publishable material by all means.

Rev sent cordially from TEFF -- teffom@writing.com
New handle: April Sunday
"Invalid Entry


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5
5
Review of SHREK  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Looks like we’ve got ourselves a real challenge here."

The above quote is an acceptable way to conclude a story.

In the case of this flash fiction:
 
STATIC
SHREK  (E)
I couldn't get out of my costume!
#2101133 by WakeUpAndLive‍‍~December


author: WakeUpAndLive‍‍~December does just that. After a finely detailed tale of a costume that won't come off, a mother-in-law nicknamed a member of the "Devil's Society" one can't help but marvel at the creative wording shown to the audience.

Suggest all whom have an interest in such things as a "husband" akin to a "toad" *CheckG* this one for a fine bit of laughter.

Good luck in the contest @ "Invalid Item

Best Thanksgiving to you and yours, as well ==

Signed, teffom@writing.com






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6
6
Review of This Old House  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
November 14, 2016

Thanks, Bill for entering your poem, THIS OLD HOUSE into this year's

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1518804 by Not Available.


In a sense must admit the those peculiar

"pops and cracks" & "moans and groans" seem to plague even the like of moi .. and in more than one old house.

This is well done, presented artistically and a fun read.

Lastly, when the house, itself, ends up with that creepy "smile on its face."

Well, I just couldn't help but say --- Drat, because the domicile won.

Best Autumn onto Winter --

Signed -- teffom@writing.com
New handle attempt April Sunday


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7
7
Review of Halloween Night  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
November 14, 2016

Thank you goes out to Snow Angel for entering, 2016s

"Invalid Item

Your fine & funny poem, Snow --- HALLOWEEN NIGHT sits very well with your intentions of a parody of the famous, 'Twas The Night Before Christmas.

Must say, I was unprepared for the witches to change the first person narrator into a "pit bull."

Also, happy to see the resident giving the peanut butter treats to the trick or treat visitors. While outlining the night in question.

Overall, very thrilled at every line and stanza.

Cordially, teffom@writing.com trying a new handle.
April Sunday



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8
8
Review of My Blog  
for entry "October 26, 2016
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with Blogging Circle of Friends  
Rated: E | (4.5)
NOVEMBER 1, 2016

Hi Amy, Yes isn't it so how well our imaginations entertain us?

Those whom blogged this prompt seem in touch with themselves, like yourself, and many agree on the terms of this blog answer RE: the muse.

I see from this Oct 26 blog from the group Blogging Circle Of Friends that you often make a good and thorough use of your imagination or muse.

Bravo, there.

Blessed be, keep writing.

Also, as a group member, let me tell you that many of the Oct prompts past might also fit this contest.

You are cordially invited to

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1518804 by Not Available.


Best November to you and yours.

Signed April Sunday
Blogging @ "Invalid Item

Well best in November


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9
9
Review of Blog @ Work  
for entry "The house
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
NOV 1, 2016 --- ALL SAINTS DAY


Good morning: Wise wiseblaize

Noting your fine take on last week's Oct 26 prompt from "Blogging Circle of Friends

Keeping the door open for self, but closed for privacy is a true additive to a writer's protection of the randy imagination -- as you point out here. This I like and agree with also.

Allowing for your take also by comparing one's imagination with "the mind's eye." Is most commendable.

Signed -- Miss TEFFY --- also a group member blogger.

My my we meet again today.

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10
10
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
OCTOBER 28, 2016

When you pen --- "This Jack O'Lantern's glance spooky --- " This contest judge is sorry to see the poem end.

So, to give myself a lift, I read EXCUSE ME IF I MUMBLE --- again.

Your idea here, Sandra Lyn is a good turn toward these odd little diamond slashed heads we find glowing on porches this month.

Thank you for this year's entry into (what in our 8th! year} is becoming a crowded place @ "Invalid Item

I'll add your entry to: "HONOR ROLL -- ENTRY LIST -- Updating to Nov 30"  

HAPPY CAULDRON TIME!
Signed, TEFF

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11
11
Review of The Piper  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*WitchHat* OCTOBER 25, 2016

"An eerie tale of dark and light comes into play in the flash fiction: THE PIPER by KenWebb (user:kenwebb} Readers might want to stand back a few paces when they enter this tale, when a concerned "Carolyn Evans" inherits a new case. From climax of THE PIPER can the http://www.writing.com audience take home a fresh kill? Or picture a new monster on the block? During a brief climax for the delusions of Ben Wyr, a patient whom seems less troubled by darkness than one might expect, might entertainment for horror genre surround? Open this one and decide." Rev/10/25/16 *WitchHat*

Good pen
Good luck in the contest
Thanks for your submission into "Invalid Item

Typo @ "abysal"

Welcome to the site, Yellow.

Miss TEFFY (moi) joined also in October but prehistorically in (2004)
The best thing I recall of that time was site emphasis on Autumn Stories and the ever popular Halloween tale.

*Pumpkin* THE SUGGESTION

Fall is great time to explore and find many places to create and enter stories.

Meanwhile, readers might always wonder why a piper?

*Leaf* THE SUGGESTION -- Perhaps, a bit of background for Wyr's madness, if any, is in order.


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12
12
Review of Best Buds Forever  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (4.0)
OCTOBER 25, 2016


*WitchHat* Hi and HAPPY HALLOWEEN to: Super Sleuth

Thank you for your submission to
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1518804 by Not Available.


From your intro question: RE: Ability to distinguish each speaker in this dialogue only tale.

Yes, Jerry and Scott.

Whom, BTW, seem to put on their personalities and character traits, as if cloaked in costumes, with every paragraph. Which is an excellent achievement for a story of this length.

Then -- enter Annie, the nemesis of one of the boys.

*Pumpkin* IN SUM --

As dress up night treats the boys to a jaunt about town -- Annie holds a surprise for them.

THE CRITIQUE ---

Now, about that ballroom dancing: Let's just take the wild guess that maybe this is not offered to second or third graders.

Next, being out-of the loop, must honestly admit (I) am not used to conversing with this age.

However, do suggest raising the standard for the dialogue per se to older -- say 10/11/12. {?}

Meanwhile, thank you for your submission and good luck.

Cordially, Miss TEFFY

PS -- I tried the dialogue only story a few times, here onsite in my blogs mainly. These really are fun! Also, there was a contest accepting Dialogue only, but the word length might have been shorter.

As you have a knack for this form, might I offer ---

THE SUGGESTION

Write more of these. Your dialogue story shows behind-the scenes plotting and pruning.

Cordially, REV sent from TEFF

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13
13
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
AUGUST 7. 2016 A sunny Sunday

Hello to C J Reddick:

Lately, this month, reading Riverbend's blog, your image logo today directs me here to:

BLOGGING CIRCLE OF FRIENDS.

What a fine idea you initiated in 2012.

Your list of talented and prolific bloggers is also impressive.

If blogs are meant to survive as a relaxed way of commuication ...

Then ALL members of http://www.writing.com
can easily look here for fun, creativity and sharing.

So glad to award a five star for this fine group which can wake us all up when we were offsite and then return us to life with or without the cloud. And thanks also for listing the "sister groups."

Your bitem:
GROUP
Blogging Circle of Friends   (E)
A group for WDC bloggers.
#1901868 by CJ Reddick


----------->
Along with daily prompts ... apparently also provides a fondly handled encouragement to write. Which is a sound tribute, indeed, for writer reaching writer.

Best all Summer.

PS: May I please join?

REV sent
Cordially from teffom@writing.com/ Always re-editing @ "Invalid Item

14
14
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (4.0)
JUNE 1, 2016

Hi, Kaleo. Although not that early in the morning for moi, am still trying to fathom June's arrival.

TEN LITTLE ROOSTERS is a fun poem by all means.

You handle this creation and rhyming very well.

As for the one, well .. lost by "a pun." That is tooooooo funny. Thanks for these laughter lines.

Welcome to the site.

Cordially, TEFF
15
15
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (2.0)
JUNE 1, 2016

Good morning, Melodysong1. Welcome to http://www.writing.com

Oh my. Well. Dithers, of course.

This prayer badly needs revision. There is no punctuation in the piece. If it is to be (in future) a poem, might I audaciously suggest reading other poetry rampart onsite.

Many times, of course, poetry lines are separated as second thoughts follow first thought or opening details, etc.

So, perhaps a bit of homework ahead.

However, the words you use in the prayer come across as heartfelt wishes, indeed.

Customary also to submit titles in all caps. You could use: A PRAYER FOR THE SOUL.

Cordially
teffom@writing.com
16
16
Review of Dad  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
JUNE 1, 2016

Reviewing at writing.com suggestion: DAD. Oddly enough from notations shall begin with minor editing corrections.

@ light shut my door == lightly
to took == it took
i can == I can
2 seats == two seats
30 something == thirty (Always spell out numbers, hon.)
ditto -- thirty feet instead of 30 feet
doctor's office
Nix, nyet on "10 minutes" ... use ten minutes

The story unfolds as an eighteen year old, son musters courage to spin a tale of a sad time for his father.

In the telling one sees many valid uses of how we speak and how we add zest to the writing per se. The mini short also includes a fine tribute for an emergency hospital visit via quite apt details. One feels as if present. Excellent job, there. Setting achieved.

Like -- car peeling out, the cluttered reply and the Hoover Dam worth of tears.


Rev emailed cordially from TEFF teffom@writing.com
PS -- Fine June ahead for you, dear author.
17
17
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
FEB 15, 2016

Greetings this snowy day to gchord0
Thank for entering your poem into the 2015 round of
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1190255 by Not Available.


Your excellently presented work has a fine look, feel and inner message to it.

"God's love in Nature

also receives a 1000 gp incentive award for submission.

Inside the rhymes one finds the family gathering, the descriptions of nature all around us. Yet all laden with our spiritual Creator.

Good luck in the contest, poetry winners coming soon.

Cordially,
teffom@writing.com
18
18
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.0)
FEB 14, 2016

Hi, Vincent

I am closing
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1190255 by Not Available.


today and rechecking all entries.

Of note, you are to receive 2000gp for entering the contest with an acceptable submission.

Your work, as you can see, is also listed in our HONOR ROLL @ the contest forum.

Admittedly, the genre choice of steampunk remains a puzzle to moi.

However, I can see this flash fic meets the rules of the writing contest for Christmas genre.

Due to the 50' tree becoming a 70' footer as it is forthwith decorated by alien aircraft.

Well, the "quadrangle" gathering in 1927 --- later near story conclusion awarded 1857 cider certainly leaves one simply aghast.

Tightrope like imagination seems to be keen inside:

"The Bare Tree...A Christmas Tale

Mercy and then all those lights surrounding "the bare tree." Later the hospitalization of "The Dean." We've a Pandori to decipher, then well also repeatedly add up other players as your story builds from start to finish.

Well that nasty doctor, oh my oh my. Might I wistfully conclude with ... oh those ...

"Misktonics!" What a fam, huh?

Cordially, TEFF
Enclosed 2000gp for entering.
19
19
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
FEB 14, 2016

HI to contest contestantCynaemon

The copyright for this poem
 A Star, A Child Was Born Christmas Morn  (E)
Looking into a deep black sky inspires a Christmas poem.
#797432 by Cynaemon


lists as 2004.

Therefore, allow me to compliment the work for finely capturing the day we commemorate for the Savior's birth.

Here, Cynaemon centers on "Christmas morn."

The bright star, "the frosty snow" the skies ..

all serve to enhance the calming quality of that silent night long ago. Yes?

Plus, by pretending it is the same night, this poem puts that action into Christmas genre.

Thanks for entering "Invalid Item

Where entries are not required to be written in the years of the contests ...

"Invalid Item then lists contestant new or old stories and poems.

Best all of 2016 and HAPPY ST VALs, dear poet.

REV sent Cordially from TEFF
Enclosed 1000 GP for an accepted poetry entry.

Oh, winners out this week. Good Luck!
20
20
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
HI SANDRA!

THE PAPER LAY WAITING is one of the fastest paced rhymes going on http:www.wwriting.com.

When your story like poem tells us of two spent wrappers ... wrapping ...

Your audience may take from this poetic endeavor ...

Both the charm of Christmastide

and perhaps audience association,

especially @

"Each C-eve we struggle at this festive event
to squelch our Yuletide misgivings that we over spent."

Also, your line-up of materials for the presents

presents much inside other holiday homes,

reminding of holiday funtimes preparing gifts.

Good title, which conveys that special syllable sound.

OH, as contest judge let me again sjust say this aloud ...

THE --- PAPER --- LAY --- WAITING

Very well done!

Enclosed gp incentive for poetry for accepted entries

@ 2015s "Invalid Item

REV sent Cordially from TEFF With HAPPY ST. VALs

*Heart* *Heart* *Heart*
21
21
Review of Merry Chrismouse!  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
ST VALENTINEs DAY, 2016

Dear Sandra Lynn,

Reading
 Merry Chrismouse!  (E)
Evicting an unwanted visitor of the vermin variety.
#2075069 by SandraLynn


leaves me still laughing at the goings on ...
IN SUM
when mouse invasion ....

and removal strategies ....

enlist a family

ready to celebrate our last winter holiday. Christmas!

So glad you chose to enter "Invalid Item

Prizes and winners going out this week.

Stay warm by all means as MERRY CHRISTMOUSE warms my *Heart* on a cold Sunday.

PS -- Sandra and all of PRP (PublicREVpg)

Seems, we may agree upon liking the cheer of the Christmas genre tales. Ending the contest on ST Val's works for me.

Good luck in the contest. Enclosed is your sweet treat, today of 2000gp, an incentive for all contestants.

REV sent from TEFF
22
22
Review of Santa's Gift  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
JAN 23, 2016

REV sent for
Santa's Gift  (E)
Sam and Charlie, joined by the town bully, make a delivery to the North Pole.
#1998105 by Jennifer L Rowlands


WOW! Rowlands this story, your contest creation is as a traditional length short story on its way TTT. To the top!

Readers may expect a turn of events which start off with the step-by-step to expand to a finished product that indicates cream-of-the-crop imagination.

} PLOT -- Brief Summary
Two children, Sam and Charlie embark on a quest to the North Pole to Pole to give Santa a gift.

Then ... A bully named Ben challenges the two friends.

Waiting in the wings, dreams which trounce the tides.

Bravo!

Thanks for entering, "Invalid Item
PS -- Only a few weeks until the winner's list appears.

Cordially, April Sunday Teffom@writing.com

Enclosed 2000gp for entering in 2015
23
23
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
JAN 23. 2016

REV sent for
The Christmas Angel - the story version.  (E)
'MY' Christmas Story
#2069118 by Fyn-elf


Inside this contest entry for "Invalid Itemarrives scenes of various snowfalls as a young girl undergoes recovery from an auto accident. She's left with extreme impaired vision.

Teasing for "coke bottle" lenses follows her into formative years. These are spent amidst holiday celebrations with a master wood carver.

An annual Christmas tree lighting may surprise readers.

Story conclusion adds zest to knowledge of people and touches the *Heart*

Vivid lines encountered today, remind me of this Jan 23 date, as the Eastern seaboard battens down the hatches. We all stay put, Fyn, beneath intrepid invasion like from your story ... as ...

"one of those magical snows with the big, fat, fluffy flakes. It had been snowing on and off all day ...

Cordially, April Sunday a.k.a TEFF

Gift point 2000gp enclosed for submission incentive.
24
24
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
CHRISTMAS 2015

While everyone tauts good cheer today, must tell you, Bill

your contest submission, THE CHOCOLATE HOLIDAY

certainly brings one to smile.

Now onto the rev section ...

"As two elves dicker with Santa a.k. a. Fatboy ...

and snowchildren invade an occupied home ...

chocolate wonder invades this ken for Christmas Genre ...

down among the pines.

Complete with banter which even includes a snowangel named Harold."

WDC! & PRP! ATTENTION PLEASE!

Traditionally, W.D. WILCOX spins winning tales ---

SEE:
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1521424 by Not Available.


Mr Wilcox, EVERYONE shall *Heart* this one. Good luck in this year's "Invalid Item

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! FROM TEFF!




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25
25
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
NOV 19. 2015

REV sent for:
 
STATIC
The Doomed Schoolbus   (13+)
Nine school students meet their fate on Halloween Eve.
#1605652 by Oldwarrior


THE DOOMED SCHOOLBUS, set in Kentucky is one of the most surprising takes on shape-shifting ever encountered on http:www.writing.com.

As a 2015 submission, this five star work bills also @

"Invalid Item

IN SUM ---

"When nine high school students are stranded inside a "dadblasted" motor-on-the-fritz bus .. youthful thoughts turn to missing trick-or-treat night. When a werewolf climbs onto the bus with an eerie agenda toward animal abuse revenge ... well, Kids (readers) ... best batten down the hatches before distraught parents remain hopeless by story end. BRAVO! Good luck in the contest." April Sunday

Enclosed 2000GP for entering in 2015.

This is also the kind of tale which can be taken a lot further inside the realm of fine literature. Imaging now possible detail quirks for the costumed lad, the deer with a watch, etc, etc.

Yes, another submission that is memorable.


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