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2,711 Public Reviews Given
2,941 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (4.0)
August 10, 2015

Good morning, Livy and welcome to http://www.writing.com

Two poems this morning, both from new members deal with romance.

Maybe 'tis in the air today.

Livy, your title: SPLINTERED BOYFRIEND and then the use of "puppet master" and "wooden girl" also serves to tie together the title theme.

Very good. Enjoy navigating the site.

Cordially, TEFF

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27
27
Review of Forever  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.5)
August 10, 2015

Good morning Elle S and welcome to http://www.writing.com

Your poem, FOREVER is okay, despite your comment:

"I honestly do not like this or the others to follow at all. I kind of want to give teenage me a slap lol."

Oh, that's just silly.

Plus, one thing to do is love ... LLLLUUUUVVV your work, especially after posting.

While Forever talks much about a private romance and love, albeit in a rather repetitious way .. so what.

Love the feeling, love the past.

Cordially, TEFF
Feel free to *Check* out "Invalid Item"  next month.


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28
28
Review of Day 16-Handel  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.5)
August 10, 2015, Monday

Good morning, Whiskerface.

Your paragraph explaining participation in a chorus, singing Handel's Messiah offers joy to this reader, gladdened by your experience.

Alas, each time I try the youtube, I never can escape. So I passed on the link.

Cordially, TEFF

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29
29
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
August 10, 2015, Rainy Monday

A few typo corrections for yesterday .. Aug. 9, 2015's

"The Presence of"

by newbie, http://www.writing.com member: midnightramp

wont == won't
gone. gone. Second gone == Gone.

Welcome to this writing/ reading site, M M Chief.

And thank you for this wonderful line ...
"The presence of a beautiful woman forces a smile on you as if at gunpoint." Now that I like.

Cordially, TEFF

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30
30
Review of Old Friends  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
August 10, 2015

Hi Harry! From RR (random reviews) I've just received you historic tribute, story style poem: OLD FRIENDS, a 2005 http://www.writing.com copyright.

And what a grand telling this is in poetry prose.

From the fur trapping to the scouting to the "wedding" of Martha, the sequence holds and informs readers.

Very good. Good luck in all future writing & rhyming.

Cordially, TEFF

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31
31
Review of 25 Male Facts  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
August 10, 2015

Good morning, Miss Dragon, Nice to meet you.

Your item: 25 Male Facts is fun and educational to read.

OF: Czar Nicolas ll, Oh I better reach for the book.

Ah, here it is. You see, Miss Dragon Dragon is hiding

Generally this weighty entity, black leather, 613 pages, copyright 1967 from Athenum, New York, titled: NICHOLAS AND ALEXANDRA written by Robert K. Massie ....

receives a random read from moi. The pictures are fabulous.

Sadly enough, your "died in power" leaves out his assasination along with his wife Empress Alexandra. Oh and their children.

Oh the things one manages to state in reviews.

The piece and the challenge you entered are indeed praisworthy.

Cordially, TEFF

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32
32
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
August 9, 2015

Allowing for content, Averren, calling on your genre listing of fantasy/ folklore can only assume content sum.

Let's see the story details quite splendidly the stone wall, the flagstones, the mossy coverings.

Then using the word 'confusion' as a guide, this reader eventually sees that inside this mini story, a flash fiction, a smoke fiction that from the 701 worder comes the return to the start.

Alas, James and Ann were not meant to meet at this time.

This 2010 story listed as a 'contest entry' may have had a short word count restriction. Maybe yes, maybe no.

What is evident is the richness of the natural details.

REV sent
Cordially from April Sunday
"Invalid Item" 


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33
33
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.0)
August 9, 2015

Isn't it just the thing, beating the word limit for the
55 Word Contest?

Inside: LIFE'S BEEN GOOD TO ME ... author, Hyperiongate does just that when this tale brakes to a stop at a mere forty-six words.

Wow!

Oh admittedly, Ms TEFF is of the long winded type.

Now, no typos, good start, spell check firm for this 2008 copyrt.

Say what is this about? Well, perceive a tiny bit.

Like: Dinner was a success. Right?

Best in all future writing endeavors & happy summer.

REV sent Coridally from TEFF

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34
34
Review of Refuse  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with CYBER SIDE OF BLOG LIFE/ CLOSED  
Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
August 5, 2015 ..

I am surprised not to be able to pick other than random reviews. Alas, I am not clicking quickly.

However, am rating this low by content. Noting -- No appeal for this humble reviewer. And I am sure, Foster realizes his own details.

I do see a refrain as in the mode of lyrics ..

No there is no need for me to fuss really with the distaste I am experiencing. I would have no idea how to categorize this hopeless, kinda sickening lament of the he headliner splayed before a reading audience.

Keaton, this one's not for me.
Eh, what do I know?

Good luck.

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35
35
Review of *Title Needed*  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
AUGUST FOURTH, TWENTY FIFTEEN, WED.

Elle S presents TITLE NEEDED on random rev click this morning, beside a bright blue sky.

Now, how detail the laughter of this arm chair credent inside a poem mentioning: both Robin Hood and an "alien race."

Hmm? Strongly recommend this one, fer sure, mates and lasses.

Elle your poem is splendid and light and imaginative.

Wording is off @ "The head" this 'the' only needs a lowercase n. Do you see the typo, dear?

Okay, welcome to WDC. Enjoy. Rhyme on!

As for the title? Call me. So far no idea. However, this poem is quite brave. A great thing. And keeps the old time feel, a huge part of heritage is shown with a poet's play on events. Excellent mix for sound of the wee beasty, the ode itself.

Perhaps try for "*Title Needed*" 

DANCING ON TWO FANCY FEET ...



Love TEFF

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TEN STAR POETRY, RIGHT HERE!
36
36
Review of Acceptance  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.0)


Hello, dear Poet.

Blue skies overhead beside this window.

In esence when you say Truth can despoil perhaps(?) a mood ..

with coping challenging logic

if such a thing (e.g.) war or say environmental tragedies .. enter truth or fact ...

sure be mad, work or write for better ...

but alas cope.

So this poem: ACCEPTANCE -- bespeaks a sum --

Patience to accept what hasn't changed yet among the baddies out there.

Uh, I guess.

Very good poem.

Cordially, Your new firend, Miss TEFF

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37
37
Review of MATCHBOX UNDIES  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


ST VALs .. Evening

Sandra Lynn, thank you for this late addition to "Invalid Item"  for 2014. This Everyone Contest achieves Year VIII, judging underway, starting now. Good Luck.

OF:
 MATCHBOX UNDIES  (13+)
What was the one thing my Barbie's wardrobe lacked??
#1989644 by SandraLynn Team Florent!


Oh and we really are having a snowfall outside just now, so extending the Christmas feel prolongs for moi. A share.

On with the review.
One must admit to a catchy title for this crafty rendition where both sewing & writing remain @ play.

While grandmothers knit for the "one inch wide" companion, Sandra Lynn knits the trials of fashion standards.

Laughing along when Barbie's head must roll to be dressed by "consultant/stylist/dresser extraordinaire."
Yes these / betwixt nouns/ works for me. Applause!

Here's a flash fiction styled with umpteen series of details.

Are the --- Words all very well placed?

Oh, absolutely. A pleasure to read this, Sandra.

Cordially, teffom@writing.com


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38
38
Review of Patience  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)


FEBRUARY 10, 2015

Hello to Survivor48

Even IF taking into consideration a theme for tediousness, one finds hopeful remedies to acquire the title word of this finely cast poetic endeavor.

Yes, PATIENCE includes "Irritation inflames patience by waiting." Rather, especially at an office somewhere when the room is crowded with folks ahead of us. Right?

The last line names "the hourglass." And all readers here a@ http://www.writing.com might like your conclusion. I do.

REVIEW sent Cordially from TEFF

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39
39
Review of A Fake Smile  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)

FEBRUARY 10, 2015, TUESDAY

Hello, Survivor48 .. OF: A FAKE SMILE --- This poem made me laugh and I am still smiling about it. Yes, we see society put the brakes on chagrin via the pleasant grin. But I always wondered how to hold one in place. Which only goes to show not everyone has the talent of the ... fakir smiler?

Favorite line: For a false smile detail ---- "Showing tranquility when we are smoldering."

HAPPY ST VALs
Cordially, Miss TEFF

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40
40
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)

FEBRUARY 10, 2015

Dear poet, Tim Chiu aka Tim Chiu
Here's a book jacket type review for your splendid poem.


"Tim Chiu's poetry talents truly show inside FOR MY SWEETHEART ON VALENTINE'S DAY. One might certainly enjoy high vocab choices, which seem to fit so easily into play. Interpreting "baleful concoctions" leading to "precipitous fortitude" summing up the theme of love for another, so very well."

 Enjoy FEB 14, Tim. Thanks for posting open on Auto Rewards Column, onsite, here @ http://www.writing.com." REV sent Cordially from TEFF//2/10/15/ Tues.


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41
41
Review of Chief Jimbob  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

FEB 10, 2015

Good morning to denbo356@writing.com.

Your story, CHIEF-JIMBO rises to the surface badly in need of a few very basic edits.
Why do you want a hyphen in this title?

Corrections are easy during re-re-re-edits. Everyone knows that. We all kowtow to this fact.
RE: Basics for smooth presentation for an audience .. Namely -- this writer need break his paragraph points. The story is in the top slot on http://www.writing Auto Awards Column. The pen is relatively new, crt. Feb 7.

None-the-less, shall attempt some corrective advise.

 @ "I see you have been out of employment for over six months Mr Forsyth," she said. "Is that correct?"

Needs comma before one addressed. Dialog always stays in true punctuation form. Unless, of course, reading Tom Wolf's BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES. Or almost any stream of consciousness style from William Faulkner. Oh, my, please excuse the aside, dear author.)

@ "Jimmy waited with a party of schoolgirls who were busy texting each other on their phones, screaming loudly at one another's replies."

Does this imply a norm. Without conversation?
school girls -- need two words.

The entire tale needs to undergo a second look microscopically at plural possessive. Oh that silly time when writers reach for apostrophe marks.

@ Ben his comma after Ben, naturally.

Oh, heavens above. OF: dnob's O'clocks --- this is a lower case O.

This seems a a fine story line when in sum, a lad on the dole, Jimmy accepts work as a salesman.

And 'tis a reasonable conclusion that this comes off as a funny one, without a doubt.

REV emailed Cordially from TEFF teffom@writing.com

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42
42
Review of Touch of Magic  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.0)
FEB 10, 2015

RE:
 Touch of Magic  (E)
Fantasy contest entry
#2027846 by Averren


SUM: Basically, a babe with a bow climbs above a battle in progress.

Readers find one battleground paragraph. Here, in fantasy genre --- perhaps since this one is in a flash fiction format .. little else is stated re: these fighting beasties. Sympathy for the younglings is mentioned again.

Opening paragraphs find: "ancient Keep of Stormguard a particularly attractive place; but as she stood on a hill across from it, she marveled at its beauty." Fine sentence, really.

THE SUGGESTIONS ... AND READER/ WRITER REACTIONS

From chronol handwritten notes

slight puzzlement @ 'sward" of grass ... isn't it swath? Hold on a sec, please, Averren --- drkelley@writing.com

Oh drat, pulling up the seven pound: WEBSTER'S NEW WORLD DICTIONARY
THIRD COLLEGE EDITION, crt. 1994

swansong, swap meet, sward .. Cool!
Sward: .. was sweard from OE me: grass covered soil. Nice!

Also note affiliation for wild birdsong from "finches and orioles."

The tale sounds as if Scotland is being imagined by the author of the piece.

Kinda, too late or after the odd behavior for a gal above a battle in progress, a drinking hole is mentioned as on the way to the atoll. Other safe havens dot this story's landscape.

Punctuation to die for, fer sure.

Maybe, story sequence could possibly use re-arrangement.

Uh, oh. So sad but --- Maybe word count for this "contest entry" stymied more space for detail.

Story really could use --- To Be Continued after the last paragraphs.

Totally adore --- "two massive shoulders of rock --" Lest (I) admit --- we run out of ways to describe mountains and this is quite good.

Of the climb and where only identified character, Rena is perched ...?
Is there any moss on the ground?

One also encounters an oak's "brown and gray."
Tree trunks if wet are dark brown. Brown as tan could be gray. However, unless a tree is unfortunately on the way out, post firewood stats. Or it is one of those torrid August's during full sun. Alas, gray seems to not fit.

Let this be okay, betwixt us, DrKelly ... as Miss TEFF (That's ME!) finds simply an overabundance of writers onsite now--a-days excessively dubbing painted hues for readers.

The catastrophe that came prior -- receives brief mention, yet goes by the Shattering.

Thank you for posting this open on http://www.www.writing.com Auto Rewards Column.

In a way natural details pertaining to Rena's walk including terrain vista seems your story's strong point.
Hoping you are also into other stories which call upon nature.

Best all 2015, Happy St. Val's
Rev sent -- Cordially from TEFF

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43
43
Review of With One Bullet  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)

JANUARY, SNOWY 23, TWENTY-FIFTEEN, SNOWY SATURDAY here @ http://www.writing.com

Where --- Auto Rewards Column
Who -- Author Milo
What --- offers: "Invalid Item"  copyrt 2015!

When? Today this rev emailed, humbly from TEFF

"After a five paragraph, quite prayerful mini prologue for One Bullet,
readers meet head on, character .. Nathaniel Locke." TEFF

TEFF likes the spiritual pleas as[pects of the piece found inside the opening's wording. "Especially the well written concluding lines below .. of said introduction. Again, usually, one opens with such as crafty prologue, one runs with it on first page. TEFF

Milo pens -- "It is by the grace of the Angels that we were chosen, not by our works. And so we trust in their eternal guidance, in the wisdom they impart to us through the Prophet and through our prayers."

One expects this to set the mood.

The feel of old world washes away @ first mention of a security Camera.

Granted genre choices onsite for SCI FIC/ Relegious denote this item.

Readers find a trend for the blow-by-blow, when time and time immortal these nuances are what is called givens .. as one sits at a table, as one places elbows on table, as one all but sneezes during a hook sentence .. well.

Next up, forward for quite a bit ... an un-named female character who daringly (it seems) hid a psychic for nigh on twenty years.

Body language may be in use to tell both physical appearance, or reactions of the characters who may tremble "slightly" but where's the juice?

Punctuation -- Perfect.
Story Line -- Evident

Things really become combustible and horizons flame ... Yet promises to meet again echo from "Eric."

Be ready to embrace "stood frozen" or "swallowed hard" in body lingo details throughout.

Nice try to create a world, which is not a REAL world. Nice gain on strife. By using Eric's diaologue mayhap this serves as a WHY from the author's perspective.

Happy New Year ... Best in all of TWENTY-FIFTEEN!

In the mood for a winter contest submission; Visit "Invalid Item"  open until St. Val's.


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44
44
Review of Music to the Ears  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
January 21, 2015

Tim, hello again. Your title: MUSIC TO THE EARS .. so fits this one to an exacting T. Or should we say exacting R&B. (Of, the poem's r&b) mostly this is rendered in Rhythm & Blues caps.

Again, your rhyme ties are going places, fer sure.

Like: "Music through the years" .. all the way down to "laughter, tears."

The poem seems to moi to sound as if coming from a versatile music fan.

Rev sent cordially from TEFF
"Invalid Item"  -- Always open for authorship comments on the Writing Craft. Come post away, dear poet.


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45
45
Review of A Winning Way  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Jan 21, 2015

I guess one should be a football fan to appreciate your poem.

However, I appreciate the rhymes. Each one -- as in -- team, dream, beam.

Or: drenches to stenches .. seemingly announce poem topic.

This is kind of you to offer on the Auto-Rewards Column.

Best in 2015, happy New Year.
Cordially, TEFF

PS: Tim, I am still into the 2014 Annual Christmas Genre below. Poetry welcome.

See:
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1190255 by Not Available.


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46
46
Review of The Last Guardian  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
JANUARY 2, 2015

Good Morning, Jack Goldman.

Doesn't it feel good to complete a story, keep into the vein of the characters .. Denk, Margash and the narrator, I?

Your hook sentence, and opening paragraph are stellar. In the effect that right of the bat wing you set the scene with: "the mist attacks anew this morning."

Believe it or not, oh silly me, even at: cave & tremors plus the appendage of the Mistmaker -- I am still thinking about oil & gas fracking. Silly me. (But aren't we all?)

... When conclusion looms ..

" ...ever deadly mist has long since brought us low."


Here, supplying the tip-off above keeps the plot in good form for readers to awaken to what the story is about to kiddingly produce in the bugger dynasty of tales. Oh, so very popular onsite since the movie ANTS came to us, straight from Hollywood, of course.

Good take .. rather not so good for various species, however.

Best in 2015 as you

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Cordially, TEFF "Invalid Item"  Where comments are sought RE: the Craft.

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47
47
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
DECEMBER 14, CHRISTMAS EVE -- 2014

Hello, Sandra Lynn,

Thank you for your comedic entry:

HALLOWE'EN HOOPS AND PAINTED FACES  (13+)
Hallowe'en is a time to try something new especially impractical costumes.
#2016716 by SandraLynn Team Florent!


submitted to this year's "Invalid Item" 

What a blast this first person narrative is to read. I'm still laughing at the car, the stall, the fall.

Just when I am about to fully react and feign pity for the "Southern Belle" of yore ...

Along comes the knee caper. A fine toss-in inclusion for costume time.

Thanks for your patience. Winner List up soon.

Meanwhile Happy Holidays --- totally open and you are cordially invited to:

"Invalid Item"  Deadline FEB 14, 2015

Rev sent 12/24/14 from April Sunday


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48
48
Review of Ouija Board  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.0)
December 24, 2014

Firstly, TJ Marie, thanx for your patience as this review pertains to your/ "Invalid Item"  submission:

 Ouija Board  (E)
Five friends have an experience with a Ouija Board
#2016778 by TJ Marie


In sum:

The story contains five friends. Sometimes if writers go with less in the social closeness aspect, a bit more space can be spent on things like ---

"fashion" as mentioned briefly. Yet, no details of jammies or skirts. Nada. Nor hair.

The mysterious Ouija Board devours a ring, predicts a death .. yet nothing is used inside the story to prolong nor pronounce those plot possibilities.

Kinda this entry is in draft status, methinks.

Critique: Yes, we're in an era where all gals are constantly called you guys. When one hits on this premise as a follow-up in daily life, one hears it everywhere. Especially among tv anchors. However, not all slang reigns as ... well mannerly or anywhere near correct.

Describe the planchette. Tripod like, plastic -- right?

Basement as eerie can be elaborated upon.

Now of the missing "red stone" from the ring. Can try basic identity detail here, e.g. ruby in gold, garnet -- your call, of course.

This writing contest has no word limit, so plenty of spatial for a fun filled conclusion or a really scary one as well.

Overall --- Basic story as is can be lengthened to be revered.

Cordially, TEFF
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE

OPEN @ "Invalid Item" 


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49
49
Review of Samhein Prowlin'  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


DEC 24, 2014

Hi Dave, Please accept a happy holiday greeting as I am quite late RE: your entry into

"Invalid Item" 

Allow this review then. Wonderful poem. Your vocab shines with cunning autumn flair and the poem sends that mysterious warning within the stanzas and SAMHEIN PROWLIN' is an engaging read.

Best line amid many for this 15 liner. Maybe a sonnet?

Best line or favorite line from this contest judge runs as follows:

Via -- " There'll be unalleviated grieving on All Hallow's Eve."

As is the way with poetry, we are left with cotemplation for possible victims. Oh, I suppose. Poor things.
Good luck and be sure to consider another EVERYONE Contest

@
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1190255 by Not Available.


Rev sent
Cordially from TEFF


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50
50
Review of The Premonition  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
DECEMBER 20, 2014 --- LAST DAY OF AUTUMN

Hi, Bill.

I just finished your submission: THE PREMONITION. Again, thanks for entering this years: "Invalid Item" 

BTW, totally open @
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1190255 by Not Available.


Now, as reader reaction goes, after careful consideration, your conclusion sends me a few words to self. Remembering how native Americans, according to the times, swore in protest mode: It's a good day to die.
Simply a take on "a good day ..."

Well, like the composer of of good stories, which you certainly are, Mr Wilcox --- you leave us in the lurch with thoughts about a memorable tale by all means. (PS --- as legend goes, if a story is memorable it IS a good story.)

(I) am most concerned with the sleepy opening, of a fellow who sleeps a lot. Which spells bit of a lazy bugger to moi.

Then comes the shadow caper. So .. here's hats off tribute.

Like: "wellspring of his feelings." Nice phrase. Well put.

RE: thunder. Like: " ... as if celestial armies at war." Very expressive.

Like: "dry grin" on the creature.

Whew ... never saw this yuck-about coming. OOOH! You shock the daylights out of me due this explicit hands & feet mess-around, Bill.

It's okay, I'm alright, really. My reader sentiments exactly at first person, Joe's ---

"Jesus ... What a nightmare!"

So glad to read your work once more.

REV sent Cordially from teffom@writing.com "Invalid Item" 

Good luck in the contest.


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