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76
76
Review of The Promise  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
DECEMBER 6, 2013 ... NINETEEN DAYS UNTIL "Invalid Item" 

Rev sent to Simple Dykie

Season's Greetings,

Enjoyed your poem THE PROMISE, teary in the reading. The lines tell of an encounter, but surprise comes only at the end within last line. Oh, how sad.

@ bundle & all he owned ... easily picturing this Autumn Scene, perhaps the September of one's life, me thinks.

Adore: "The coming dawn a whisper on the wind." Just think with nature & the elements at the beck & call we may still favor the eloquence found by describing sunrise. Niiiiice!

Cordially, teffom@writing.com
"Invalid Item" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
77
77
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

DEC 6, 2013

This review re-visits the portfolio items from Teguettler, who at the onset announces the item in question is not a novel, but a writing exercise, assigned for a writing class. Hey, iffen I'm in one of those (but been there, done that, long already) wouldn't hesitate to praise the place, as in naming the college.

Anyways ... once more the creation centers on Lt Livingstone now retiring after "twenty-years in the military." This becomes a phrase we hear so many years since 2003. One full decade @ war. (US HISTORY)

Now, the action pokes about at dummies of straw, later there's a campfire where killing the barbarians crests the topic list. For proverbial (not novella) so for the outline, then? Of course, more is related.

The piece is presented well, defined with topic lines --- cyberville dubs those bullets.

{/i} Okay, explore this one top to bottom. Reach: "Hardien feigned a scowl ..." Now, please. We must anchor our feet on the ground, people. Hope you take that general appeal to *Heart* Teguettler .. for it is impossible to feign a scowl. A true scowl requires gritted teeth at least. An action whereas the word feign is cagey. Once deviation from the superficial nuance of using wording that sounds fancy or is playfully constructed takes shape, then the reality of what the work can produce as finished product sets in to better the plot, character, etc. You see?

Now, fantasy is pretend, so they tell me. Instead of not telling this story, why not make it real like true grit then switch of fantasy genre as your genre choice. Maybe you could try military. Seems much soldier dialog is going down.

Don't be alarmed by this take on the two bitems, dear author. You stay the course then decide how it all pulls into a short story.

Cordially, TEFF
"Invalid Item" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
78
78
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
DECEMBER 6, 2014

This 500 word compostition from Teguettler portrays a battle weary spot. Then before conclusion, speaker waxXING sympathetic toward "ruin" and casualties.

Sir name, Livingston is given to the LT. Perhaps, denotes an English countryside. Now, here's a major suggestion, which can muster other troops stopping over @ http:///www.writing.com PRP (PubRevPg.) The ever-popular, Medieval stretch inside fantasy genre popularity can actually be researched for the British Isles. Why ... (pause) Miss TEFFs spent many a fine afternoon reading Scottish History, which to this day remains impossible to decipher entirely.
Encyclopedias carry the most info. Middle Ages == 450 --- 1450 AD, natch.

THE SUGGESTIONS ---

@ to speak of == Guess, we've been around the block, writers & readers -- with insistance that sentences not end with preopositions. True. Interupts reading for some. Here, "to speak of" is attached to a dwindling number of weapons -- try simply: a few thus can edit to: We had few armaments.

Again, quite often seeing fictitious battles dubbed fantasy in electronic writing. Sameness in flash fictions RE: this genre announcement abides onsite with battles waged constantly. A LIEUTENANT'S DILEMA details as a writing POV. Upon opening that POV is connected to a former POV, also unstated.

Best to recall, hard to read the mind of anyone. Thus, being specific becomes part of the game always.

@ "I felt like throwing up." This sentence concludes par two. After villagers are indiscriminately slain. Oddly, enough, the second par mentions armaments listing as "rudimentary farm equipment." IF axes for this unknown century, best to ID yon, cutting-down tool.

@ "Many fires still burned as we walked through he remains, obscuring the sky with haze of smoke and ash."
This sentence can simply be re-arranged. Otherwise it reads as if the walkers were so incredibly large they blocked out the skyline. Suggest edit as ... We walked through .. as start section.

Detecting "a hint of sarcasm" while listening to a voice is rare. Sarcasm comes from the wording of statment. Generally, sarcasm joins to wit. However, with easily offended trends of today, poor lil sarcasm became insulting.

Went back & forth, up & down with this piece and found many hard-liners for future edits. Along with things as presented by the author of this flash fiction to barely fit the storyline.

Cordially, April Sunday "Invalid Item" 

PS: Teg ... Sensing that your ken may also be for contemporary realism. If you'd like to try your hand at Christmas Genre please visit:

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1190255 by Not Available.


"Invalid Item" 
79
79
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.5)


DECEMBER 6, 2013 FRIDAY, oh silly moi, just a-fightin off 'em sea bass. Yummy, BTW. Also, I had to swim in here as cookies were eating me up, clicking along on http://www.writing.com where you list your fine poem: A PATH TO OCEAN FISHING on Auto Rewards column.

Nice work. Fine tale of ocean, bereft rough seas.

@ Dedicated fishing tools wonder if you shop at Sears somewhat take the feel of the Pacific beneath the tiny tale.

Cordially, teffom@writing.com

Open for submissions since 2006, Tim. Hint hint. "Invalid Item"  Merry on!
80
80
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
DECEMBER 5, 2013

Rev for:
 Chapter Two: The Kibungo Massacre  (13+)
Susan wakes up to witness the aftermath.
#1961195 by Robert Thomas Atwood, MFA

A Nov 3, novel listed on Auto Rewards by Robert Thomas Atwood, MFA

Sadly, this is a story from Rwandan mass murder times & content historically specific when countrymen slaughter countrymen.

Look first @ the size, and suggest using bold as it is easier to read. Bold for standard Arial lines, really helps on the online, Mr. Atwood.

Thanks for tackling this difficult subject. This first person narration presents much in sequence, reason for the massacre and perhaps actual proper nouns.

Find: Umfundsi, Kibungo massacre, Kigalu as Hutus vs and stalk Tutsis. The latter rings a bell.

When, Robert Atwood draws upon "hysterical" happenings among a population ... he's using a word that is a slight in comparison for a killing frenzy.

Alas, sending The Merry Merry and an invite to: "Invalid Item" 

To cheer us on.

Overall --- Daring attempt at truth about Rwanda, in our times.

Cordially, TEFF
81
81
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)

DECEMBER 5, 2013

Hello & Season's Greeting to new member @ http://www.writing.com simonporter1

Note you post this poem's title without caps. Cusomary to use those in titles, Simon.

Next -- with "a-rise" this is one word as in arise.

@ "ever thoughts" might be every thought." Well, speaking English, myself. Street slang, if intended needs stating. Plus, if this goes by generation acceptance, perhaps the poem is not audience intended.

Off review topic ---lllllllllll Sidebar llllllllllllll We do cutesy talk @ Teffom Estates. My word since garden days, last summer became Parcheesi. And sure, I need another word. A sink full of dishes morphs to: Oh Parcheesi." That is aka informal speech. Better to tow the line in bitems open for public consumption." lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

@ closing line "... hope for best" can use article "the" before best.

Classic and quite fine phrase @ "her eyes like the sea."

Now, not to worry. Theme up, suit up, then ski on over to enter Poetry Category @ "Invalid Item" 

Cordially, TEFF

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82
82
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
DECEMBER 4, 2013

Hi, Judy. Nice to see another one from your portfolio. Aren't these becoming shorter ... uh lately? However, noting: you tell your rendition of that special Christmas Morning "decades ago" so brightly that it's actual visual @ my house, too!

Also, like details of presents, awaiting under the tree. which allows the scene change from living room to bedroom for those awaiting same.

Okay, WDC site and PRP (PubRevPg) Find: Christmas Anticipation all around in J. A, Buxton's A CHRISTMAS MORNING TO REMEMBER.

BTW, Judy, if you are starting to suit up for Christmas Genre short stories, competition is underway

@
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1190255 by Not Available.


So ski on over and join the fun. Where EVERYONE is welcome.

Of: your closing question. Clothes. Phooey. Did you ever receive the train?

Cordially, Your friend, TEFF
83
83
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


NOV 23, 2013 --- Gut EEEEEEEEEE eve nnnnnnnnnniiick, Steve.

Like you contest poetry entry @ "Invalid Item" 

Inside:
 Twas the Night of All Hallow's Eve  (18+)
Get into the spooky mood of the Hallows Eve night!
#1959764 by Steve
Steve includes a plethora of Oct 31 ties.

Lordy, Steve, you wax the maudlin side of scary which many writers truly associate with All Hallows.

My, then you dress these particulars in costume, threaten the pepper chezus outen the audience and I'm sittin here lifting the sash & peering down the road.

RE: reality side .. how come we blame all the toilet paper rolls on the teens, anyways.

Then trip along to: Mob, vampire slayers -- is all this possible in a rambling poem.

*Check* this one, dear Audience, online on PRP (PubREVPg) to find out more.

Love it! Five star effort, cunning free flow knowledge pays off.

Open @ "Invalid Item" 

Happy Thanksgiving to yourself, also, Steve 55. Sending 400gp gift for the smiles you provide tonight.

Cordially, Miss TEFFY, Prez @ "Invalid Item" 

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84
84
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)


Nov 23/2013

Hi, thanx for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1518804 by Not Available.


Alas, Thanksgiving is not the seasonal requirement for this story. I didn't find "Halloween" here as mentioned in this writing contest rules of engagement. Perhaps, you changed to Thanksgiving? Ah, well.

The gist of the story is fine and the story ends on a note of humor .. but tis not scary nor horror genre. Yet, deciphering points to this one being a funny one by all means.

Although this 2012-er remains riddled with excessive commas, excessive "ands" ---

the chronological presentation fits the title.

Scott, you may want to edit also for the ultimate beastie. Namely: the run-on-sentence.

Organziation may be key. A simple thing we relax for forum posts or notes. However, controling commas or brevity per subject is very much an impressive part of writing contest or short story submissions.

To touch on a few --

@ "so he came here --- all the way to -- stained." Inside this paragraph (and others as well) sentences can be separated or make use of semicolans.

@ dinner -- to --- support (can use supporting.

Not all prepostional phrases need be introduced with a comma. *Check* primarily before your ins.

Tad of deviation of subject RE: neighborhood residents, their noses, bikes, hankies. What?

Deviates from topic, you see. Plus seen throughout. To salvage the story break the paragraph.

Break also when Gramps talks to Sheila at the endge of sanity, I suppose.
Wondering why the med student character surfaces among the sameness of WDC characters. GRANDAD WAS DEAD (BUT HE DIDN'T MIND) calls on cadaver, near the educational announcement. But hey what do I know? Try to stand away from that repetitious, overall, average, sameness of much of the adolescent LIT onsite.

Instead? Sail high, babe.
Best in future short stories and Happy Thanksgiving.

Cordially, TEFF

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85
85
Review of Slaughterhouse  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
NOVEMBER 23, 2013

Rev sent for:
STATIC
Slaughterhouse  (18+)
You'll start seeing things that aren't really there, son, and that'll be the first sign.
#1955768 by W.D.Wilcox


Submission for "Invalid Item" 

Rev sent to talented, "Invalid Item"  member billwilcox

COMMENTS: No. 1. Like the quote approach noted in this story's intro line where http://www.writing.com members often reach for their briefest & best detail.

No. 2. These well presented (researched) details are apt to make vegans of any fellow man. Nasty biz.

Now for the juice, a real rev type sum, as seen on book jackets.

"SLAUGHTERHOUSEs main character, Harvey Beechum, built like a football player indeed sees a shrink. He becomes mesmerized under the "static haze of fluorescent lights" on the "killing floor."

OF: The killing floor --- observe screaming & passing cattle become entwined thoughtwise with human counterparts as envisioned by Harvey. Uhoh -- Mom warns of "looking within" a family malady. YIKES!

When Halloween Eve returns to his neighborhood, readers find Beechum sharpening his blades behind a "ringing doorbell."

Watch out, audience! Outside spot trick or treaters amid an unlucky line of parental defense." 11/23/13 teffom@writing.com

PS: Style seems to be changing slightly only for the better, Bill. Thanx for this entry. GOOD WORK!
Due topic .. a tale that needed elaboration, portrayed herein.

86
86
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Leaf* Nov 8, 2013 on the neato posting spot --- we call http://www.wwriting.com.'s community .. on the online, digitally, E presented, also on Auto Rewards .. revving along here on PubREVPg.

Good monring to Dan Sturn

Been awhile for us, Mr Sturn. Nice to see this Oct 2013 work, yet admit seriously sad times portrayed are quite well versed. Note: Wholeness in Whole for hole in *Heart* Hmm.

AT: Stanza "always there" RE: "this broken heart" (yes, easily grasped but just one different wording quest .. do you see what I mean, Mr Sturn?

Well, these grief spots, they need ebb so always there is always there in a sense. Burden is heavy and Time must cure. However, well thinking caps for all.

This is a good one, a fine poem overall.


REV sent --- Cordially from April Sunday
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TWENTY-THIRTEEN, join in seasonal genre fun along with site poets @ "Invalid Item" 
87
87
Review of Love Sails Onward  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)


"Highseas praise for allegory rendition rhymically rocking LOVE SAILS ONWARD from poet, online Tim Chiu. Each stanza folds below deck when readers may want to stagger about and hold these lines in the mind. As for his poetic style, Chiu allows his audience the explanatory tie in, a look see at societal passengers around us on the ship, perchance of "love" for one another. Very Well Done, Bravo for this MUST READ POEM found on http://www.writing.com Auto Rewards page. Do hope these gems keep on coming aboard.// 11/8/13/ teffom@wrtiting.com"

*Leaf* Thanks for this one. Mr Chiu. Certainly made my day. Opening soon @ "Invalid Item"  where poetry is also a category.
88
88
Review of The Collapse (1)  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (4.5)

NOVEMBER 8. FRIDAY/
REV SENT TO: MrsDesjardins2012 offering on Auto Rewards, a flash fict piece with a twist in general approach topics ... (prooving of course that yon creativity slants are certainly still inside indiviual minds even should low prompt cutoffs beckon wordwise.)

*Leaf* Indeed, Mrs D fits much into this pen. Word count is filled to capacity. More a scene than a story with major incident. While stories require endings ... or not ... allowed in short story form.

The Collapse tells after story cutoff that more stories are elsewhere as encouragement to visit this author's port becomes announced.

The Collapse doesnt really end for moi, Mrs Des Jardins. Seldom does romance genre allow such a rarity (the place the girl meets handsome man.) Whew. However, notice stilted emotional details are much too forced and need much more space to excell. Plus, this emotional type reach for writers of fine fiction needs less formalized wording.

THE SUGGESTION {

AT "shattered" lacks concrete info. Cannot fathom. Writer need elaborate @ that point in story line.

Best all week & early Happy Thanksgiving, dear author. Overall --Well Done!

Cordially, Miss TEFF "Invalid Item" 
89
89
Review of A Joyous Time  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
NOVEMBER 8, FRIDAY ////

"A JOYOUS TIME from http://www.writing,com e-published poet, Tim Chiu ... is indeed encased with fluency. Maybe last stanza stops one in one's tracks for it also dictates via fine poetic sequence perhaps an answer for the proverbial or poet's subject. Namely: romance with "prolific youth." Liking to store as akeeper .. re-read here @ the house. Yes, captures the thing they call love .. which has many sides. Here inside: "A Joyous Time"  find love & a commitment of sorts for said generation grouping (?). Impressed @ "Invalid Item" 

Thank you, dear poet. You're doing a great job with your poems this autumn, Tim.
Signed, Cordially April Sunday
90
90
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
OCTOBER 25, FRIDAY
REV sent to: Joey's Spring has Sprung
This is a rev from TEFF @

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Good morning & Happy Halloween (early), Joey C.

*Leaf* IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER ...

*Pumpkin* REACTION TIME: Giggling** a bit after reaching conclusion of your tale. This short story shown on Auto Rewards is rife with a plot that quickly thickens ... shall we say like cherry jello oozing under a door ,,, adopting a scenario for scary. All during the faithful month of Shocktober, right Joey?

Smitten from the git-go by the fine photo of a young movie star whom more-or-less makes the movie THE SHINING sing ...

@ that point your dialoug takes on his voice (for moi) and perhaps this is your intent. IF SO? It works.

Now, name of main character, Niclaus Jackson Rose fits well enough, in use by chapter three the guy goes by Jack.

Love the cover photo as well, and details of the grounds comes alive, plus now wondering at the repeat N for Mrs Nilsen, housekeeper. My argument Joey, for years runs ... in the advice category, which also includes print LIT ...

Vary the alphabet for character names. Folks are fast readers these days and although we hope they shall hover over our stories like ripe grapes on an overhead vine .. they split.

Also repeating the name, instead of he or she leaves the character sticking there --- uh in the mind.

So we've Mrs Nilsen, housekeeper/ cook on Jack's estate. We've an image of the mansion.
And we have Nicklaus behind the wheel -- rather cool as a cucumber driving his new wifey home.

Okay is the groundskeeper, Edgar --- now that name really fits --- a red herring? I must ask more than three quarters along.

Ahah ... So the bride then is being hunted down by an --- uh --- oh "ex-husband" whom even the star of JIMMY HOFFA probably could make mincemeat of in short rift, right Joey?

Question: When did Michelle divorce Dennis, if they're both on the lam? Huh, Joey?

RE: this story sum ---- After --- "honeymoon" time is announced as splendid enough ... then Miss TEFF must stop.

Cannot & will not give away the absolute juice or total sum of this oddly unexpected stroy end.

Oh, phooey on that awful Edgar.

Joey, please consider yourself, dear fellow author as cordially invited to visit & enter one of the best ones going onsite. Namely: "Invalid Item" 

Where we aim to please, too, Mr C.

Also --- one extra suggestion to steam the pot ---

OF: Michele's early dialog .. perhaps consider a bit less formal sounding at that section. Recall this bit of author-to-author writing hints. If it sounds too formal take another look see, re-address. Oh and that was the only spotting of such a nuance.

See ya in the funny papers, I guess. Huh, Joey? I did click on your notebook this morning, which is also impressive. I don't really know from notebooks onsite. Right now, shall admit your stories scare me.

Signed, TEFF daringly not sending this anonymously to a great writer, known onsite as http://www.writing.com 's
one & only Joey C.

** RE: giggles -- I had to laugh because I felt this as a compiler of short stories. That laugh was spontaneously rendered from this desk because plotting time seemed an important factor from author of "Real Down-Home Cooking" 

Great Title BTW.
91
91
Review of A Cherished Brood  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)

OCTOBER 24, 2013
REV SENT TO: matrix
From: teffom@writing.com @ "Invalid Item" 

Dear Tim. Thanks for sharing A CHERISHED BROOD on Auto Rewards Page, where incidently there are over 1,300 pages of items from writing.com members. Wow, isn't that a lot? Nice show of creativity, huh?

Well, PubRevPg (PRP) let's adress this very special poem.

By the fourth stanza .. a true feeling of what the poet conveys seems to add meaning to the title choice word ... "cherished." That stanza fits (in and of itself) an explanatory focus of the happiness and joy of starting said family. It almost makes me cry and I enjoy re-reading the entire poem especially until reaching this part.

As well, keeping in sequence ... LIKE last stanza bent to be conclusive.

Also @ "His mercy, not perplexing" perhaps (perhaps?) allows the addition of Grace from Above while accepting the everyday as life surrounding us, one & all.

Good One, Tim. Five Star rhyming, fer sure. Along with the juice of fine emotion.

Cordially, TEFF

PS: Do Come Visit ... Accepting poetry entries @ "Invalid Item"  *Pumpkin*
92
92
Review of Maybe, Baby!  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (3.0)

OCTOBER 8, TUESDAY *Leaf*

Good Morning, Tim ..

Found your poem: MAYBE, BABY on Auto Rewards Page this morning. Love the play on all the rhyming words. Well done, there. Your intro notes this is a "guy's perspective." Since it encompasses a few things, I wonder if it safe to say the stanzas extoll an off-thewall look at dating ... well ... maybe.

When read aloud one notes the rhythm seems to be consistant blending the piece together like super glue in a sense. ME: all fitting together for the message.

Really like:"This blonde, brunette or redhead town ..."
That's a fabulous line!

Well, keep 'em coming. Best All Autumn. Also, accepting poetry this year @ "Invalid Item"  So come on down, take the look see. Maybe, Tim (Baby) October is your creative month. *Pumpkin*

Cordially, teffom@writing.com *WitchHat*

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93
93
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

OCTOBER 7, MONDAY *Pumpkin*
Good Morning, Joey C.

Of your piece: QUESTION OF HEARING ... few things straight up. Firstly --- NICE!! Like how the relaxed atmosphere of the family gathering comes to the surface from start to finish. Character names even seem to fit the picture used as a cover for this essay listed on Auto Rewards Page.

It is funny how the impromptu -- almost a med student -- comes up with these definitions .. supplied in dialogue at the drop of a hat .. supplied at length and most likely a perfect match for symptoms via research. (Citing Source @ end of the item is one suggetion.)

Your take on the illnesses per se as you fit them into nonsence words is comedically rendered so just a-laughing on -- slips into this reaction type rev.

Best all Autum --- Try: the recently opened "Invalid Item"  where GP are e-mailed for fiost ten submissions again this year. Nice to talk with you again --

Cordially from teffom@writing.com *WitchHat*

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94
94
Review of The Blog Board  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)
SEPTEMBER 26, TWENTY-THIRTEEN, TGIFri .. hold on a sec ... here's the latest TEFF REV since ... April?
But whose counting really after 2,600+

Anyways .. OF: "The Blog Board" 

Glad I spied such a blogger's choice gathering all right here on http://www.writing.com.

Seems .. THE BLOG BOARD ... the blog board ... (?) Excuse em whah ... rolling title sound about a bit.

Maybe somebody notices as TEFF types that I haven't been active in these cyber parts for quite a spate (onsite.) Willing to learn new PCism and yes, note workings & rules are quite easy on this item, much like Plug Page.

Well, overall fine appearance of the place, please bear with me ... crunch, crunch, crackers & cheese .. kinda early ..
are most easily clickable due this writing website's Me: WCs changes which all appear inviting per se & do-able.

This newer place for bloggers to boast, inform, convey, announce their newies by calendar date ... all provide a nice, safe haven type re-entry for me to review world. The last blog notice here on the page, a blog board arrived Sept 19. Hmmm. Perhaps, Miss TEFFY might return to blogging.

Sending rev public. May I share a moment? Reviews surely share. Nothing set in stone really.

If so (contemplation of blogging returns) after viewing this list (above.) Which looks like a neat-o spot to re-entry blog world too.

An author-to-author SHARE: There are two blog books past from yours truly. So, mention The Board around wc and maybe bloggers will throw in their two to seventeen cents worth of what they want to quickly post as writers. Writers, all readers, of course, apt to comment at the drop of a hat. Nice to see blogs in one spot .. to hit upon. The item offers up bloggers ... Peeps with things to say ... usually a joyful detail of posting that special finished blog series ... right?

The item is part incentive and a fine welcome arena for promo ... now available to our members since July of 2012. ALL for our members who go: a writing/ reading/ creating/ rhyming/ photographing, noveling amongst OUR! community. Ah yes for all these years often aka a home away from home. Everything wants facebooker & T these days ... but given the choices the new look of the site, and this item for blog entries in particular may float the boat for many an essayist on a warm summery type morn this sixth day of Autumn! Happy Birthday, BTW, WC!

REV SENT, Respectfully via April Sunday busy compiling webpages.
SEE: http://community-2.webtv.net/catmundo/FANDANGOCOPY...
"MOFFETT FILES TAKE FIVE" 

PS: FEEL FREE to share back, Writing,com satff/ author & staff recipients with your established 198 portfolio items.

GOOD ONE! A MUST VISIT!

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95
95
Review of Midsummer Night  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



MARCH 14, TWENTY-THIRTEEN *Shamrock*

Top o' the morn, Josh.

Your flash fiction MIDSUMMER NIGHT reads .. reads .. ? Oh, heavens, why delay? ...

It reads EXCELLENTLY!

AN AUDIENCE viewing PRP or checking their latest reviews should be aware of how very well this piece is written. Details for the setting, however, remain bereft any town, city, state. This TEFF enjoys reading inside LIT because that ploy informs folks.

Setting narrows the field with a restaruant scene near a river. With a storm in progress guests are apt to survive.

Josh -- Nice touch on the watches. That's a fabulous toss-in.

Where nature takes a hand and phenomenal circumstance ensue ...

Readers need look here ---->

 Midsummer Night  (13+)
Things that happened at a class reunion in an intimate restaurant on Midsummer-Eve
#1739767 by Josh T. Alto


To discover some surprising details.

Favorite lines, among many that simply sing when Josh Alto creates
a storm of the century theme ... run as follows.

"Around us raved the storm of the century joining together earth and sky, heaven and hell in a gray living mass of millions of watr particles throbbing in the overloaded air."

Fantastic! Just between you and me, Josh, author-to-author (and yes, tried storm scenarios many, many times myself) since they are pure fun. Writing, of course, is a hoot, especially when, as you must already realize, dear author, visuals reproduced go as splendidly as this one in final delivery.

BRAVO!

Thus, during the Merry Month of March --- Please accept this additional
5 *Shamrock* along with a
5 *Star* rate.

Cordially,
teffom@writing.com

PS: Personally, and 'tis silly but just hearing the words 'storm of the century' pleases moi. Quite the phrase.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
96
96
Review of Gone up in Smoke  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)
MARCH 13, 2013

Dear Ms Andrea Beierle,
Thank you for this one. Your hard work as an author, no easy task due time consuming methodology, pays off in an entertaining short story.
As you might notice onsite and with much electronic/ digital writing freely bombarding I-net stats, much fiction abounds out there which could cure insomnia.

Naturally, here to let PRP* know that with the following short story from Country Bumpkin this is not at all the case. Thus offering writing/ reading points for the entire http://www.writing.com audience as well. llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

 Gone up in Smoke  (E)
After a house burns down, a lot of things go mysteriously wrong in Tiffany's life.
#1820223 by Country Bumpkin


From hand written notes, slightly in chronological order, so Andrea takes my drift ....

*Heart* "Was going around the twist." Hey, (I) might use that line in real life. Thanx.
THE SET UP --- BEGINS with Tiff's take on her current life situation ...

UNTIL there's A FARM HOUSE ABLAZE.

Very good rendition as is, no snags in reading from this desk. However, can always morph to present or past tense as opposed to past perfect. Saves time for readers.

Great ON-SCENE @ windows cracking segment. Andrea supplies, "It sounds like explosives."

Plus, any rookie reporter also recalls awful aroma of a fire scene. Thus, simpatico with all details provided ... @ first person char, Tiffany's --- "never forget the fierce smell of the fire ..." Perfect adj @ fierce.

RE: CAUSE ---- enter suspicions ...
Decent plot ploy with John, an inebriated gardener & missing house keys.

Also, isn't it grand when fictionalized "seed money" lies around for the taking. Plenty to hire stable boys, feed horses, etc. Readers can capture circumstances reduced for Paul & Tiffany, an active husband wife team ...

AT: "Depressing!" Do it, girl.
Author-to-author hint: Never cease
scripting one word sentences. LIT abounds with this writing ploy.
@ "People had been able to rescue a lot."

Reading reaction --- Fantastic realism for neighbors helping neighbors, salvaging household items. The best thing going for caring, incentive people.

Visual met @ "soybean fields" protected like the golden calf, hereabouts .. oh good old reliable, Monsanto, oh.

RE: Brigitte, "local hotel" owner --- adj perfect with "snooty"

Ditto for another oddly behaving character. Maybe a skinflint landlord enter --- Shane -- good adj again @ "awkward."

*Heart* TIFFANY'S words for this guy.

@ "I am sick to death of this man."
Find totally realistic dialogue rendered. Centers sequence of character emotions ala believable wise.

Don't forget, Andrea, that relevance of background needs explanation. If too much, to elaborate becomes your decision, then simply drop from story.

PERHAPS --- Play with longer length, since it seems to fit// WHILE these sidelines below continue ADDING story interest.

THE SUGGESTION

NECESSARY REVAMPING REQUIRED for the following:

1. Shane's murdered father?
2. Paul's mother's current circumstances
3. Storyline hints of: property or cash inheritance.

Alas ... mayhap this one ends too fast. Sure, can attest that this humble revver would applaud a sequel.

THANK YOU, dear author. Your restore my faith in writers writing excellent fiction.

FIVE STAR RATE FOR THIS TEN STAR SHORT STORY.

Of course, A MUST READ!.

For telling UP IN SMOKE so splendidly stylish arrives an ...
Additional award from TEFF April Sunday

Miss Andrea, please accept an extra fancy gift, the once in a life time (so far) ...
20 *Shamrock*

Cordially,

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"MOFFETT FILES TAKE FIVE" 

* PubRevPg


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97
97
Review of No Ordinary Times  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)



MAR 11, TWENTY=THIRTEEN

PRP ALERT! Pubrevpg here's your TEN STAR STORY.

 No Ordinary Times  (E)
A short story about a reporter's experience in a war zone.
#1768343 by dogwood212


above sings with reverberating style.

How come? One may ask Miss TEFF.

Well author, dogwood212 style stays pat, as well edited paragraphs send out news quips light lightening speed. All becomes the story of the reporter and the situation which brought him there.

However, do suggest a few shorter sentences in some places. Like the watering hole aspect which reminds of setting for THE KILLING FEILDS, the movie. Well, who really knows from on-the-scene reporters these days.

This fiction is fab and should draw readership like your portfolio so often accomplishes.

HAPPY ST PAT'S, my friend. Enjoy the Merry Month of March on me, kid. Oh silly here's a 5*Star* .. plus add another
10 *Shamrock*

Readers and upcoming writers may glean details whizzing past in an unnamed wartorn "small town"

NOTE: Where gov speak need not remain irrelvant to writers these days. ...

The short story style is here. Dogwood, haven't we always agreed your style is fine, real fine.
This one is fast.

TEN STAR READ.

So, thanx, hon, for this week's MUST READ!!

BRAVO!

Rev sent Cordially from TEFF teffom@writing.com

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98
98
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (4.0)




FROM:
FICTION FANDANGO, A WRITER'S BLOG!
        by FICTION!! FANDANGO!!   (teffom@Writing.Com)

MAR 8, TWENTY-THIRTEEN
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} Rev sent for
 
STATIC
What Happened to Danny?  (E)
A romance on a movie set comes to a mysterious end.
#1783648 by Redtowrite


Good afternoon to http://www.writing.com member, Kathie Sterh aka Redtowrite

Sending this rev your way with a Happy St Pat's greeting during this merry month of March. *Shamrock*

POST READING TIE-IN
With a few snowflakes in the air at my digs, a tale set in Bermuda is a welcome change from the coldness of our local weather here in the states. INDEED, 'TIS!

So from hand writtten notes ...
In chronological order .. we meet again today, Miss Kathie.

Like: "pink beaches and crystal waters of Bermuda." Details a-plenty, going well.

Shall we daydream ourselves there?  Maybe readers & dabblers who frequent PRP (PubRevPg) @ http://www.writing.com will join in wishful thinking for a spate.

IF they touch upon this story and enjoy same then many readers may experience a feel of the island paradise.  Which is very much present from:
WHAT HAPPENED TO DANNY?
________________

Danny Moyer .. now take Moyer.  Nah, doesn't ring as an actor's name.  No offense, Kat.

Nice sum @ " ... calm chi of the moment."  Well said.

OF: King Neptune --- (I) enjoy extras flowing about him.  Especially @ "King Neptune .... can toss ships like matchsticks."  Good line.

OF: The woman talking about a Bermuda Triangle type disappearance .... Although a minor character role why not give the dame a name. As in (e.g.)  Lucille swears. 

Also, this juncture offers a chance to use a name native to the area.

OH NO!!! Ruination for this reader anyway. "Bipolar Disorder" a buzz-kill with specifics added.  Almost like building a Club Sandwich when the author sees fit to explain the malady. Of course, we aren't shrinks out here in either author land or audience land.  So perhaps a citation for those paragraphs.  Plus, never did cotton with the popularity of said mental illnesses hitting the I-net airways via e-stories. Eventually, said topics became repetitious in a sense.

Oh alas ... when sadness hits and one reads ... I miss Danny ... the psyche sideline seems unnecessary.

Stay the course, Kat.  You're doing well and glad you can add this 2012 c-rt to your bulging portfolio.

Since this hails from mystery/ romance/ drama genres ... one sees you also accomplish a far reach. 
Fabulous, darling.

*Shamrock* Cordially,
teffom@writing.com

"Invalid Item" 
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"MOFFETT FILES TAKE FIVE" 

 
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99
99
Review of The Wallet  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


FROM ---> FICTION FANDANGO, A WRITER'S BLOG!
        by FICTION!! FANDANGO!!   (teffom@Writing.Com)

MAR 8, TWENTY-THIRTEEN
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Rev sent for
 The Wallet  (13+)
A man finds a wallet in the street in a rather desperate situation
#1631869 by Josh T. Alto


Good morning to http://www.writing.com member, Josh T. Alto with a Happy St Pat's greeting during this merry month of March.

POST READING
RE: THE WALLET --
Overall a fine story with a bit of clout as it includes a love life which tallies to a marriage. Because of a canine stray post ... character, I finding a lost wallet.
With this flash fiction, we discover. Mr. Josh T. Alto takes one missing noun (subject) splits with another missing thing/ noun --
AHAH! Gadzooks! -- Enter an un-named dog.

Suffice (in sum) THE WALLET contains a lost dog, and a lost wallet. Which works out quite fine.
Although, his unwritten headline RE: aliens threw me for a loop when this story drops out of sight @ conclusion.

Suggest for the sake of comedy, trying a headline there for an attention grabber, at the very least. E.g. ET CLAIM BILLFOLD PATH TO OUTER SPACE.

Neither does the first person narrator come with a name, nor does the wife nor the dog. She's dubbed: "lady owner of the dog." Heaven sakes, hon.  Now, correct me if I am wrong (which, naturally can be accomplished in one single day of TEFF-hood.) You see, Josh, my user name is teffom and they call me TEFF since joining the site in 2004. Well, be that as it may. 
Naming one's characters is the easiest step when creating a story.
And you are not alone.  This is the fifth tale (item/bitem) from those read this week within a thin reviewing margin, from this desk.
Whereas ----> often lively characters are bereft names.

Enthusiasts who cozen @ PRP (PubRevPg) may wonder: What is the sense in such a ploy? 

Readers center on identification via names presented by writers.
E.g. Later we may then kibitz: "Gee whizzy, Ralph. I just read a story about Philip DeMarco or Lizzy Lunchoname."

Plus, surrounded by user names we see a major hint of baptizing via fiction accounts. One may request Verizon for phone books from any city. That's known as a regional reference.

Now, a bugaboo-er on adding 'got/get' to predicates, myself.  Thus suggest for:
got close --cozen
got married --- wed
OF dog --- had got lost --
Use: gotten lost or strayed.
Lastly, in the correction/ suggestion department: these constant run-on-sentences are A-ok actually. Longer sentences are everywhere since books went into print eras. 

However, an easier read along can be met quicker by Mr. Alto seeking a period point in order to enhance clarity.

Now, here's what I love about THE WALLET.  The use of the soundbite. Let's say refrain almost @ "It was a foggy December evening ..." Both root us, and steer readers into believing this fiction. The latter an aim writers strive for, right?

Well, keep them coming.  Stay the course since this 2010-er, copyright wise is a fine story. All based on a silly old wallet.  Imagine!

Thanks for posting open onsite, Josh. I enjoyed reading THE WALLET.

Cordially,
teffom@writing.com
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100
100
Review of "Oak Orchard "  
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: E | (5.0)
MAR 7, 2013/ THURS NIGHT <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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Rev sent for
 "Oak Orchard "  (E)
Chapter Two - "THE JOB"
#1428230 by BEAR
 



Dear author:

Before elaborating below with the crux of this review, allow this comment, which sticks in my noggin post reading time. 

Author-to-author, you know what you are doing and restore my faith in writers trying to impress onsite.  Thank you.

Thus from handwritten notes & in chronological order.

Like: "decorated to resemble an artist palette."  Yes!  These small & often the older bigger places often cry pastel.

OF Genre:  Mystery/ folklore ... meets both due baiting.

Good start with ---->
Ah yes, the three hour+ drive
toward seaside cottages,
off-season solitude,
Mary & Sam, real folks taking care of business

Good cottage detail, not over wordy but explanatory.  Although? More beach detail needed, before I'd rent it. Ahem. Ocean oriented is Miss TEFF aka teffom@writing.com. TEFF is my nickname, Bear. 

Dialogue very well written.  As opposed to simply character names filling sentences between quotation marks.

The above remark prompts this aside for all authors, readers, reviewers who often visit PRP (PubREvPg)

llllllllllllllll SIDEBAR lllllllllllll Let's assume we take from high school a thing called Eng Comp. Mature writers surpass the schooly feel for their works.  To create & re-create perpetual sameness attached to fictional characters talking is seldom seen in LIT of value & worth.  Sadly enough 'tis rampart online, inside e-stories. What a shame. llllllllll llllll End SIDEBAR llllllll

Noteworthy, the fact: OAK ORCHARD does not contain the above writing mistake.

Because of the fast pace of the detail reading OAK ORCHARD carries on without any snags whatsoever.
Like this drop (good spot) which raises the issue at hand, as it sets us up out here in audience land.

Namely:  " ... near water. Still and quiet, almost to the point of being spooky."

Like: "effective conversation stopper" 
That's a great phrase, Bear! Maybe we should all have one of those prepared. Your story indicates by topic.  Which now sends giggles my way.  Oh, that is funny when you consider that "boss."

Falls short of ending.  Oh, pardon me.  This is a novel. Cool, I'm ready and able and willing to READ MORE!

Note: Bear baits readers in this chapter. A good thing aka a trick of the trade.

Smooth read, overall and a decently earned FIVE *Star*

Cordially,
teffom@writing.com
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