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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thephantompen
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8 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by ThePhantomPen
Rated: E | (3.0)
Great Idea. Although by your description Mini Man was not 'created' it sounds like he was born that way? And did he actually just stop growing at 3'2", or did he grow past that and then shrink down to that size?
I also like Copy Cat, and I'm assuming that these are tongue in cheek characters? (No offence intended if they're not!)
Does she really NEED to be exactly double the height of Mini Man to accentuate his shortness?
All in all a great idea. I look forward to reading their adventures.
Thank You. TTP


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of The Lost Pearl  
Review by ThePhantomPen
Rated: E | (3.0)
I enjoyed reading this, it is a truth of the times we live in that men seem to be struggling with the idea of what their 'role' within the modern'family unit' Thought provoking and interesting. Thank you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by ThePhantomPen
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Ok, so this story begins with a subject that is VERY close to my heart. Child mortality.

I'm not going to call you out on a few spelling typo's or talk about continuity, or form. Although I think the basic structure of your story is sound.

I feel you have taken a very difficult topic-If not difficult then for the most part, socially taboo- and given it the respect and humility a sensitive subject like this deserves.

You have managed to convey a sense of both loss and disappointment that is emotive and stirring, without over-dramatising or belittling the true grief of a parent. It would have been easy to 'overdo' this piece and go for the cheap shock factor.
I feel that as you didn't, it contains a subtle strength that you would have missed had you.

I hope this makes sense and well done again, I enjoyed and 'felt' this piece.
4
4
Review by ThePhantomPen
Rated: E | (3.5)
That was great, it had a nice balance and a flowing rhythm to it. The only thing I would comment on is the fourth line from the end.
"In which you speak" Now I'm only mentioning this because it feel like the line should have read "Of which you speak." But then again you might have meant it as is?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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