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240 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Rated: E | (4.0)
I love a sad story.

I liked this very much. I would have liked to read a more visceral description of the lovers though. Was hard to visualise, my perceptions kept changing with the descriptions.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
27
27
In affiliation with The Steampunk Authors' Gui...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Bit of madness towards the end there. Intriguing. You have me interested...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
28
28
Review of A small rant  
In affiliation with The Steampunk Authors' Gui...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Interesting. Formatting your opening paragraph into 2 separate paragraphs complete with line spacers would add to the tension/hook of your piece.

It's a little bit of a chicken/egg scenario, thoughts of suicide and selfharm.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
29
29
Review of The Blog  
Rated: E | (5.0)
1 star as per request pertaining to the anti-blog sentiments. 4 stars for such a well written piece.
30
30
Review of Brother's Blog  
for entry "A Camping We Will Go
In affiliation with The Steampunk Authors' Gui...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I was seriously worried about that black bear's safety and intelligence. It was obviously quite smart as it soon realised it was no challenge for a drunk old man in his jocks, and therefore safe!

Good job bear. Good job, Brother!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
31
31
Review of Books.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think snarled is too harsh. Something like "Books," he shook his head, and crawled back underneath the truck.

Also, try this edit:

Jimmy pulled himself out from under the truck, and watched her walk; the sun beamed shadows and haloes around her ass as she strode away.

Both these edits give a new dimension to their relationship, and to the story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
32
32
Review of Georgie Flies  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Beautiful story. Poor Georgie.
33
33
Rated: E | (5.0)
Noice. Looks good mate. It matches my author of the month from march or may, I forget which. Like you, I had no idea what I did to deserve the notice, but, hey, I wasn't knockin' it back!
34
34
Review of Wolves at Sunset  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Lots of errors mate. Could do with a good proof read, which is a shame as this was a good read. You've got lots of potential. Have you read any Brian Keene, I could see you producing something along his line.

Why don't you check out one of the contests I run, or join in on the 30-Day Blogging Challenge to expand your fan base? Just search for it.
35
35
Review of The Swift  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow.
36
36
Review of Suicidal Motives  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow, that was cool.
37
37
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
The important parts of this prologue are:

- the protagonists are a family of werewolves.
- the forest is no longer safe for them.
- the werewolves want strength in numbers and want to make a stand.

I think the sense of urgency and fear would be narrowed to a sharper point, if you began the passage with the Gunshots line and relegated the Shouts line to second place.

I also think lengthen the fight or flight in the forest, and shorten the interactions of the family with each other in the rest. You should still keep the fathers desperation to escape and fight another day however.

Or another track you could go is keep it to a single scene. Begin it with the wounded half wolf formed mother dragging her scared child out of its hiding place, then have the father give the emotional speech, then Have them run.

Either way, you should enter some of my contests! ;)
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FORUM
Them's Fighting Words (Conflict Contest)  (13+)
WEEKLY Fun action-writing prompt and contest! I post the pictures, you write the conflict!
#1867748 by Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST

---
"The Detailed Writing Prompt Comp
---
"Starting to Write
---
"No Rest
---
Michael Thundersbeard
Artist, Writer, Father, Factory Worker.
http://www.lifeandothertragedies.com
(and husband too!)
38
38
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

I actually thought this was about the working class a d the working poor. Slaves to working the grind for someone else, regardless of colour.


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The Detailed Writing Prompt Comp  (E)
Multiple, Big Prizes plus PUBLICATION. Every entry wins Gift Points. JULY Prompt up!
#1814391 by Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST

---
"Starting to Write
---
"No Rest
---
Michael Thundersbeard
Artist, Writer, Father, Factory Worker.
http://www.lifeandothertragedies.com
(and husband too!)
39
39
Review of The Hunt  
Rated: E | (3.5)
It's quite good prose. Tense, atmospheric, in the moment; why are you calling this poetry? You're doing yourself a disservice.



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The Detailed Writing Prompt Comp  (E)
Multiple, Big Prizes plus PUBLICATION. Every entry wins Gift Points. JULY Prompt up!
#1814391 by Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST

---
"Starting to Write
---
"No Rest
---
Michael Thundersbeard
Artist, Writer, Father, Factory Worker.
http://www.lifeandothertragedies.com
(and husband too!)
40
40
Review of Someone Tell Me  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

Nice flow, nice lyricism. Do you actually perform this? What style of music is it? What instruments accompany it?
It's hard to critique, not knowing the genre.

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The Detailed Writing Prompt Comp  (E)
Multiple, Big Prizes plus PUBLICATION. Every entry wins Gift Points. JULY Prompt up!
#1814391 by Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST

---
"Starting to Write
---
"No Rest
---
Michael Thundersbeard
Artist, Writer, Father, Factory Worker.
http://www.lifeandothertragedies.com
(and husband too!)
41
41
Review of Shrove Tuesday  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very, very scary story. I found myself quite nervous through out. I can see how the story might make people uncomfortable, but that is a sign of a good horror story not a bad one.

My only complaint, it ends too soon. I think for a true sense of her hopelessness we need to see the narrator in her predicament for a while longer. Another little scene or two and it would be perfect.
42
42
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
WIthout a doubt, you are my Favourite author on WDC. What a determined character. A hard nut, it would take more then a holy hammer to crack.

43
43
Review of Cruel and Unusual  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I can't wait for the Adam Sandler movie.
44
44
Review of Is It Worth It?  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Was it worth reading? Yes, young man, it was. Good stuff!
45
45
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good start. Interesting premise. Now let's see some zombies!
46
46
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great list - could do with more comix listed however, or an explanation as to why there are not.
47
47
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This is one of the comprehensive and exhaustive lists/glossaries I've ever seen!
48
48
Review of A New Republic  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Spice up the weaponry used and increase the descriptions of their targets. Ie. Show the skate boarding teens crying.

Nice satire.

Don't forget to enter my contest this month:

If you want to practice your writing some more, why don't you check out my little competition. A political satire would suit it to a tee.

10000 gift points plus inclusion in an anthology are up for grabs. There are more details on the contest page about the anthology but we'll be publishing both your contest entry and a non-competition story (to showcase your non-competition talents).

Februarys Detailed Writing Prompt is an easy ride along a slow highway. Just watch out for that gang of bikies screaming up behind you, crowding your rear view mirror and breathing down your neck. Better hit the gas, cowboy!

The Big Bang

Start your story with a dramatic event that grabs the interest of your readers. For example a murder, a car crash, an explosion, a relationship break-up. The opening event will then provide a launching point for you to introduce your characters, who will go on to face new complications arising from the original event.

An advantage of this approach is that it is immediately captivating and it allows you to introduce your characters in a situation of high stress, which will reveal a great deal about who they are.

A challenge is that you may then face an early anti-climax if you are not careful.

If it helps you get started, here are some character prompts. You don't have to use all of these characters, or even any of them. This month I have given the character prompts a supernatural feel in keeping with much of the paranormal action-adventure/romance stories here on WDC.

THE CHARACTERS:

DEJUAN VILLEGAS. An undead baron, a locket with a commoner's picture on it gives Dejuan a mysterious appearance. His cold blue eyes scan the area from beneath messy black hair. He has a long scar over his eyes and a penchant for body bandages.
Dejuan uses brute force to protect what is important to him and cuts corners and commits small crimes whenever he can get away with it.

DIAMOND SWEET. Diamond has messy, combed back orange hair and shimmering hazel eyes. He has a haughty gaze and a frenzied look in his eyes. He wears a swashbuckers shirt and breeches and speaks plainly. Whenever the moon is waning, Diamonds vision begins rapidly failing. He is a werewolf. His drive to create a perfect society borders on madness but his good will is apparent in everything he does.

SAVANNA SARAH CRUZ. The untrustworthy-looking Savanna wears a pirate captains coat. Savanna's destructive spirit manifests in her tendency to use intimidation over diplomacy, and to solve problems with force rather then forethought. Savanna is a seer and by taking a deep swig of wine she can sense the locations of all nearby magical forces. Though sometimes coarse and harsh, Savanna truly has everyone's best interest at heart. The pirate captain's coat hides the effects of a curse where her skin has become repulsive to anyone who desires her.

DR ELDERS. The foppish looking Dr Elders wears a school uniform. He too is a bearer of much angst and is secretly responsible for the death of hundreds. His love of order is displayed by his stark organisational skills and in order to resurrect his dead brother, Dr Elders will literally do anything. When badly wounded, Dr Elder automatically invokes the secret force FLARECHILD'S GLORY and can speak, read and understand the language of light-aligned supernatural creatures.

---


For writers this will be an interesting challenge as by it's nature you will have certain elements dictated to you restricting freedom of choice. But on the other hand, that overwhelming sense of "where do I begin." will be missing thus freeing you to WRITE.

For readers and reviewers, it will be a great chance to compare writing styles and structures with similar elements and frameworks.

If you don't want to join in the prompt, maybe you could donate some gift points to the yearly winner. Here is the donation fund ID: "Invalid Item


---
The Detailed Writing Prompt Comp  (E)
Multiple, Big Prizes plus PUBLICATION. Every entry wins Gift Points. JULY Prompt up!
#1814391 by Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST

---
"Starting to Write
---
"No Rest
---
Michael Thundersbeard
Artist, Writer, Father, Factory Worker.
http://www.lifeandothertragedies.com
(and husband too!)
49
49
Review of Penance  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Man, you should really expand that story. That was a great read. I couldn't put it down!
50
50
Review of Beths Ring  
for entry "Chapter one
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is great. Very gothic and romantic, in that tense, desperate way.

If you want to practice your writing some more, why don't you check out my little competition. A gothic romance setting would suit it wonderfully this month.

10000 gift points plus inclusion in an anthology are up for grabs. There are more details on the contest page about the anthology but we'll be publishing both your contest entry and a non-competition story (to showcase your non-competition talents).

Februarys Detailed Writing Prompt is an easy ride along a slow highway. Just watch out for that gang of bikies screaming up behind you, crowding your rear view mirror and breathing down your neck. Better hit the gas, cowboy!

The Big Bang

Start your story with a dramatic event that grabs the interest of your readers. For example a murder, a car crash, an explosion, a relationship break-up. The opening event will then provide a launching point for you to introduce your characters, who will go on to face new complications arising from the original event.

An advantage of this approach is that it is immediately captivating and it allows you to introduce your characters in a situation of high stress, which will reveal a great deal about who they are.

A challenge is that you may then face an early anti-climax if you are not careful.

If it helps you get started, here are some character prompts. You don't have to use all of these characters, or even any of them. This month I have given the character prompts a supernatural feel in keeping with much of the paranormal action-adventure/romance stories here on WDC.

THE CHARACTERS:

DEJUAN VILLEGAS. An undead baron, a locket with a commoner's picture on it gives Dejuan a mysterious appearance. His cold blue eyes scan the area from beneath messy black hair. He has a long scar over his eyes and a penchant for body bandages.
Dejuan uses brute force to protect what is important to him and cuts corners and commits small crimes whenever he can get away with it.

DIAMOND SWEET. Diamond has messy, combed back orange hair and shimmering hazel eyes. He has a haughty gaze and a frenzied look in his eyes. He wears a swashbuckers shirt and breeches and speaks plainly. Whenever the moon is waning, Diamonds vision begins rapidly failing. He is a werewolf. His drive to create a perfect society borders on madness but his good will is apparent in everything he does.

SAVANNA SARAH CRUZ. The untrustworthy-looking Savanna wears a pirate captains coat. Savanna's destructive spirit manifests in her tendency to use intimidation over diplomacy, and to solve problems with force rather then forethought. Savanna is a seer and by taking a deep swig of wine she can sense the locations of all nearby magical forces. Though sometimes coarse and harsh, Savanna truly has everyone's best interest at heart. The pirate captain's coat hides the effects of a curse where her skin has become repulsive to anyone who desires her.

DR ELDERS. The foppish looking Dr Elders wears a school uniform. He too is a bearer of much angst and is secretly responsible for the death of hundreds. His love of order is displayed by his stark organisational skills and in order to resurrect his dead brother, Dr Elders will literally do anything. When badly wounded, Dr Elder automatically invokes the secret force FLARECHILD'S GLORY and can speak, read and understand the language of light-aligned supernatural creatures.

---


For writers this will be an interesting challenge as by it's nature you will have certain elements dictated to you restricting freedom of choice. But on the other hand, that overwhelming sense of "where do I begin." will be missing thus freeing you to WRITE.

For readers and reviewers, it will be a great chance to compare writing styles and structures with similar elements and frameworks.


If you don't want to join in the prompt, maybe you could donate some gift points to the yearly winner. Here is the donation fund ID: "Invalid Item




---
The Detailed Writing Prompt Comp  (E)
Multiple, Big Prizes plus PUBLICATION. Every entry wins Gift Points. JULY Prompt up!
#1814391 by Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST

---
"Starting to Write
---
"No Rest
---
Michael Thundersbeard
Artist, Writer, Father, Factory Worker.
http://www.lifeandothertragedies.com
(and husband too!)
94 Reviews · *Magnify*
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/thundersbeard/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2