What a very generous and unique way to pull the members of the site together! Gotta love how your mind works. Mazel Tov on a superior idea that includes sooo many of us!!!
Very warmest regards for a great day!
Robin
Yasher koach l'kulchem ~~ May your strength and willingness to perform deeds of loving-kindness increase!
‹(•¿•)› Thought-Provoking Rhymes for our Times ‹(•¿•)›
How cool that you have an entire folder dedicated to dark writing! I really like this particular poem. It's very creative in it's imagery and your story is well written within your great rhyme scheme! I especially like your wording, you use very unique phrasing... My favorite line is: "Growing up it seemed I was both blessing and a curse." -- great imagery and cadence and wording. Go you! Your award is well deserved!
Thank you for sharing your talent, it's been a pleasure to review.
Upon seeing the title of this poem I just had to come and check it out!
It's really cool! I love the words you use and their placement. It most certainly gives the reader the creeps... It's a great October poem!
"Blood broth, dark and deplorable" I especially liked this line, very creative imagery. My mind's eye was full of red sticky goo.
The only thing I see that you might want to take a look at:
"Blood broth, dark and deplorable,
Mementos, hair, nails, sharp, prickly,"
-- You have a comma after deplorable and capitalize Mementos.
I really enjoyed stopping by and getting a good dose of 'fright'.
What a lovely little writing you have created! I've read many pieces about butterflies, this one is quite unique! You keep it short, sweet and to the point and I love your descriptive wording you chose to use. I could feel and visualize a most beautiful butterfly in all its glory... An enjoyable read, to be sure!
What great and unusual subject matter! Who hasn't done this very thing? It was always exciting yet freaky dealing with those little 'crawdaddies' as you so 'cutely' stated. I really like your descriptive wording. It helped bring your childhood memories alive. My only very small suggestion would be to perhaps have some punctuation to help the reader with the flow of the writing...
I really enjoyed your different and unique writing, it put a smile on my face!
Take care and thank you for sharing such a cute writing!
Robin
** Image ID #1533820 Unavailable **
Yasher koach l'kulchem ~~ May your strength and willingness to perform deeds of loving-kindness increase!
‹(•¿•)› Thought-Provoking Rhymes for our Times ‹(•¿•)›
Let me wipe the tears so I can tell you how amazing this writing is! It is full of so much love and tenderness and appreciation for a woman who went through so much, your dear Babcia, may her memory be as a blessing...
The tender expression in which your words reach us are just beautiful! The reader gets the full picture, not only of the horror your Babcia had to endure, but also, the love that she found and shared with her many loved ones throughout the rest of her life.
I'm thrilled that you chose to share her story this way... and how wonderful that you experienced her love in your life.
I do hope that many stop by and read this amazing letter/account of your dear Babcia's life and what she meant to you. It really is a great piece, Noa, on all counts.
I always have to tell you how beautifully you write in English. You are a very gifted young woman. I know you say that you have programs that help you, but you still have to know how to put them together, and you do it really well! Please continue to share with us!
Thank you so much for posting this!
I hope you have been well and happy and busy in your days.
Talk to you soon,
Robin
Yasher koach l'kulchem ~~ May your strength and willingness to perform deeds of loving-kindness increase!
‹(•¿•)› Thought-Provoking Rhymes for our Times ‹(•¿•)›
I have been reading several poems written for this contest and just had to stop in and tell you how well written yours is! I'm a rhymer and usually have a tough time reading free verse, but not at all with your creation...
I find it to chocked full of the imagery, emotion, and flow that a really good poem requires. From beginning to end, it grips ones feelings. Go you! Each word has it's place and you use them so compactly, another important element of a great poem...
I applaud your efforts and wish you the VERY best luck in the contest... You're right up there in my eyes.
Take care and have a great day!
Robin
** Image ID #1533820 Unavailable **
Yasher koach l'kulchem ~~ May your strength and willingness to perform deeds of loving-kindness increase!
‹(·¿·)› Thought-Provoking Rhymes for our Times ‹(·¿·)›
My, you do have a way with words. But the more important thing for me is that you use your words toward the betterment of the world and its people. And for that I very much commend you! I wrote a poem about Auschwitz from a somewhat different perspective - the fact that the world stood by and let it happen in the first place. And you are soooo right in your words. It is not about just being a Jew or Muslim or Christian... It's about being a human being. I call it cultural harmony... allowing all people to live side by side in peace, sharing and learning about each others cultures. We all have so much to offer the world. How boring would life be if we all had to believe in just one mindset, and how backwards would we be in not being able to share and learn from so many different perspectives.
Your way of writing is important and I am thrilled to see you sharing some of them here.
I shall return!
Take Care,
Robin
Yasher koach l'kulchem ~~ May your strength and willingness to perform deeds of loving-kindness increase!
‹(•¿•)› Thought-Provoking Rhymes for our Times ‹(•¿•)›
Hi... You came and rated my little rhyme for the Bite Size Poetry Contest. Thank you very much for your kind rating and comments. I read your entry and found that is was really good! Full of great words and imagery all crammed into such a small space. It is obvious that you are quite a good writer in both areas. It's nice to come across someone who writes from their soul. You and I write about very similar subjects... I'm heading back to your port now to check out a few...
Thanks again for taking the time to let me know what you thought of my little rhyme,
Have a great day!
Robin
Yasher koach l'kulchem ~~ May your strength and willingness to perform deeds of loving-kindness increase!
I happened to come across your port and am glad I did! I looked at a few of your rhymes and find that you are a good poet! You choose great words and go about telling your poems with quite nice rhyming end words... Your imagery is very nice as well! Go you!
We have three things in common - I write in a similar style as yourself and I am also from Virginia, (Winchester) - and I, too, am over 21 (by almost 3 1/2 decades).
I'm happy to have met you and look forward to returning to enjoy more of your creations!
What a great poem you have created! I LOVE the words you use and the story you tell - you were in the zone! It must have been fun to write.
The only thing I see missing is a bit of punctuation in a few places to help the reader follow your wonderfully creepy story... Your imagery is very good, it got my juices going
I wish you the very best of luck in the contest - I think you have a winner here!
I've been meaning to stop by and visit your port... I'm so glad I did! I've been perusing your poetry folder and am quite impressed! Your good! You have excellent rhythm, something so many seem to lack. I really like where and how your mind moves through your stanzas. You keep things tight from beginning to end with very good imagery... You keep your reader interested to the end.
I especially liked this write. It's a very enjoyable read and it makes you shine as a poet.
You are paying me gp's for reading it when I should be paying you for the enjoyment!
Thanks for sharing your poems and please continue to create... you really are good!
What an interesting writing! You certainly have a unique style and subject choice! Your use of words is really cool, it gives the reader quite a bit of insight into the behavior and lifestyle of wolves with amazing imagery. You've kept it nice and tight with so much information! I really enjoyed reading your creation and learning a bit more about wolves. You are indeed a poet! Thanks for sharing!
I really like the way you think! I write about the exact same things and call them 'thought-provoking rhymes for our times'... It's great to see others writing poems that make one think! I have no suggestions for improvement, your thoughts are right on, well planned and executed. You have a strong beginning and ending, I especially like your ending. Come take a gander at one of my writings if you have a moment... I enjoy sharing with someone who has like beliefs! Thank you for creating thoughtful and soulful words for all to take pause with...
Hi, I've been taking a stroll around your port. You have some interesting items. I decided to stop here and rate one of your unrated ones for you. I really like your imagery in this poem. One's tears and wonderment and what causes them for self and loved ones is well versed. Your poem flows well. The only thing that made me pause, IMHO, was 'I wish I KNEW where I STAND,' In using the past tense - KNEW - When I read it, it seems to flow a bit better following the past tense and using the past tense of stand - STOOD. That way you are using the same tense throughout your stanza. It just seemed to flow a little better for me. It is just one 'gal's' opinion. I am a 'rhymer' of words and usually don't pause at free verse, but I find your writing quite unique! I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing...
I really like this writing. It has some really cool imagery. I also really like the words you chose and how you used them. You write in a very soulful way. Definitely a connected person! The ending was particularly interesting... kind of could take it more than one way - in 'my mind's eye'. Very cool. Kind of creepy cool. Great job! I enjoyed the read. Hope you are having a relaxing Sunday.
Take Care,
Robin My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
Hi, I really like your poem. Very strong in intent and pleas. I have written many poems of this nature. Inner struggle is a powerful mode. I love how you worded everything and how you set up your writing. I really only have one small suggestion... IMHO,
Spinning round;
Looking for something
That can't be found 'here'
Your word 'here' is throwing off your little inner rhyme of round and found. When I remove it and read your lines it seems to flow much easier and gives you a strong rhyme that leads you into the next sentence. Just a thought... I really liked your writing. Thank you for sharing. ‹(•¿•)›
Hi, My! One can say so much in such few words. I really like your sentiments. Who would think 5 lines could say so much! But I find that your wording is well placed and you have kept it tight in your line of thought. I also think that you have nice imagery in that space. Good write!
Hi, I've seen a few of your poems. You are indeed a master of words, rhyme and meter. I, too, write in this manner and know how hard it is and the talent it takes to get it all right and still say what you want. This is an excellent write! The only thing I would tell you is that you have a veeery small boo boo - Death takes my by my wrists. I'm sure you meant to say me - no deduction in my book... fingers flail and spell check sees a real word. I can't tell you how much I love your writing. A true poet in every sense! If you happen to have a moment in your day I would appreciate you taking a look at one of my writings. Your keen eye and mind would bring a much appreciated review. Thank you so much for your creation. It was indeed a pleasure!
Hi, I really like your poem. It has really good imagery and I like your choice of words. Several people write on this subject, but I really like the way you tell your story... One can really feel the emotion of the writer. The only thing that I would say IMHO is to try and keep a flowing beat to your lines. The more your lines flow as one with the next, the more your words pop out to the reader. You are most welcome to check out one of my poems, as I write in rhyme also. Great writing, I enjoyed it very much! Thanks for the read...
Hi, this is a great writing! I have to say that this is one of the best non-rhyming poems I've seen yet on this site... I just love your mind and where you go - your style of imagery and wording is really cool. Different and inviting with a rush of creepy... I see nothing but a great writing here from a fine mind. Great job in my opinion! Really unique... Thanks so much for sharing
Hi Godspeed, You have been to my site and made sooo many wonderful comments about my writings. I can see by your remarks that you are an educated, insightful person, so I wanted to come see what was in your head! Though I looked at several of your wonderful writings, I stopped here for some reason. I think this is a very cute little poem... it's amazing what one can come up with using one lonely sock for an excuse to write. I love it! With all the 'deep' writings I do, it seems to be the cute, funny ones that are most popular. Your poem has great imagery and very cute sentiments. I like it very much. I also like what you choose to write about, overall... You have a very deep soulful mind. Take care and God bless... Robin
Hi, What an interesting subject you've chosen. I really like what you had to say. It's quite different. You take the reader through all the underlying thoughts that so many feel in the work place. The only thing I would say to you, as a rhyming poet, IMHO, is to watch the 'beat' of your piece. The more your writing follows the harmony of a 'beat' the lighter it flows... Take a peek at one of my rhymes, if you please, to see what I am saying... I really enjoyed a look into your mind. Thanks so much for the read!
What an interesting subject to choose! I love how you tell the story. One would have thought that the subject matter might have been boring, but your wording kept it going. Great imagery. I love how you end it with your co-workers just being in the car yet another day - ho hum... I enjoyed the read. Thanks!
Hi Lauren, Thanks for your kind words on my page, and thank you for suggesting that I come take a look at this poem. It is very nice, it has good imagery that covers a lot in a tight rhyme scheme. The only suggestion I would have is to watch the 'beats' of each line... the better they match each other, the better the flow... I really enjoyed the read! Good write! tikkunolam - Robin
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Yasher koach l'kulchem ~~ May your strength and willingness to perform deeds of loving-kindness increase!
It's a great October poem!
