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Very funny; stop clowning around. I hope this story has more to it. I don't want to tell you your business. A flower that squirts water in your face can be funny. leaving us hanging not cool.
Great job, I will read more of your work. I hope they have an END.
My man, the opening was unbelievable, and then it got better from there. I like your style and never have been disappointed with any of your stories. This might be the best so far. I felt the kindness that Tony showed to those poor demented souls and Jack’s fear. You painted a moving picture that burned its way into my mind. There will be no easy sleep for me tonight.
Great job, been there. Right from the start your words placed clear pictures within my mind's eye.
this was very cool.
"He is awestruck by the contour of her face, the perfect arc of her eyebrows, the softness of her cheek bones and jawline, and the way they all play so effortlessly off of her neck and shoulders. Her brunette hair is tossed slovenly across the pillow in a fashion approximating perfection"
This %#@*^** great. You made your *^%#@@#* point with #@#@^*%#@ style. Me I could give a rat @#* what a bunch of @#@&*^%# people think about the way I ^%#@#%# express my #@%^#@@ self.
I am going to make some %#@&**# time to read more of your %#@##@ work.
Very, very good job. The pace moved as fast as a broken dream. I love this line; "I can feel your blood pulsing, sweet crimson, rushing through your veins."
I can not help with spelling and things like that. I will leave that to people a lot smarter than I.
Great job, I look forward to reading more of your work.
Lou, you did a first rate job in making your point. I fully agree. Their is a time for things like Afirmitive Action and Unions. There is also a time to end them. Both are way passed being affective...
Dukey, my man, these words danced from a mind that is gifted with talent. You my friend are a first rate story teller. The opening put me right in the hall with Jonny. There were so many lines that were perfect, this is just one I liked; "The deadly rounds left trails of liquid pain in their wake as they plowed through muscle and tissue."
I do not remember if you read a story in my port called CHOICE, if not check it out.
Not only the pace but the words were in perfect order.
From the start of the first few lines; I knew her.
"I was young once. I lived abroad, working in Paris and Prague, summering in Vienna. I ate in cafés and shopped in boutiques and went entire months without speaking a word of English. I wore red lipstick and drank hundred-year-old champagne"
I love this line.
"I cursed the dreadful dewy weather, angry mostly with myself but eager to pass the buck."
Man,oh, man,oh, man. Billy, I was beat once that way as a little boy by a drunken uncle I stayed with when my parents where in FL. looking for a house. Never have words been put to that nightmare better then you just have.
Billy you must be a big time writer and making huge bread. If not, I ain't got a chance
This is very well writen. I don't read story like this (there was no rating) often because I never know how to respond with out sounding like a dirty old man.
Once I started the words kept sweeping me along. You did a great job and it was written in a very tasteful way.
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