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Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



I'm Tina and part of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and dropping in to do a quick review. Please consider that all suggestion are based on my opinion and may be different from another reviewer. I hope that my suggestion can help improve your work but it offends you please disregard any suggestions.*Smile* Thank you for letting me review your item.

*Coffeeo**Books3* The item was easy to understand but most certainly entertaining. *Leafr*

*Coffeeo**Books3*I used to work at a hotel as a housekeeper for four years. After reading into the third paragraph you had me hooked. Yes, I have seen Haunted and heard about The Shining. It's funny though because one time I worked in a hotel. After my incident I believe that are ghots.*Leafr*

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr*Great job adding links at the bottom.

Writer: Tina Marie George
Proud Member of WDC!
Write with heart-n-passion




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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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for entry "Shifts" 
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kiya, I am doing reviews on all your chapters. I am learning from you but also doing a reviews for ~ Santa Sisco ~ . He donated to A Dozen Delight and won as highest bidder and he used your links for resourceful tools for members to read on how to use correct English. You provided great examples of Shifts. I've heard this from my English Teacher when I was in high school. Of course that was back than. When reading you examples they are allot more understanding than it was listening to my teacher giving meaning. Quick question because I am amazed with your chapter so far, are you an English Major? You are really good at these examples in these items but also other items you've created in your chapters.

In the eighteenth century, Noah Webster set out[active] to make American English independent from British English; and through his books, great influence was exerted[passive] on the language.

I took notice of your brackets in active and I also took notice in your semi colon in after the word English.

I like the examples here of Shift in Moods.

SHIFTED: If I were[subjunctive] an honor student and I was[indicative] ready to graduate, I would apply to a medical school.
CONSISTENT: If I were [subjunctive] an honor student and I were[sujunctive] ready to graduate, I would apply to a medical school.

The consistent sounds past-tense. Is it better to speak consistent than it is shifted? Depending on how you would say the sentence is consistent okay to use?

Overall this is a really helpful tool.

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

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Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



I'm Tina and part of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and dropping in to do a quick review. Please consider that all suggestion are based on my opinion and may be different from another reviewer. I hope that my suggestion can help improve your work but it offends you please disregard any suggestions.*Smile* Thank you for letting me review your item.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr*

Lop/elope This example is very important because it is commonly mispronounce
Dot/dote If you have or experience speech difficulties or even have dyslexia (regardless of severity) than those that know that pronouncing the words can be a task.
Occur/cure Just sounding the words wants to make you say them backwards lol.

Sum/consume Sounding these off sound closely related. Great examples here.

Thank you for providing an example of a (accented) syllable. You sentence that followed is comprehensible but also sophisticated.


*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr* The images are really awesome to have in the link as examples! *Checkr* *Smile* Eww, the double consonants with verbs are really tricky for me.
Example: Mate and Mated. On set of T's for ed but whereas Referred as to R as to Refer. Nothing wrong with you chart just must be the understanding of achieving or mastering English language LOL!

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr* beach + head = beachhead Okay, depending in how the sentence is used is it okay to say bleached-head, using a dash between these two compound words.
Other great examples you provided in here that is a helpful tool.

book + keeper = bookkeeper
room + mate = roommate

You had to think out loud with this statement,
"Almost everyone knows the "i before e" school rhyme."

No, not everybody knows the old school rhyme ex-specially not me.
I do so now as a grown adult but when I was younger I did not know.
When I was a child I remember my step-dad going over and over explaining this rule to me. I was young but also learning from who speak abruptly wasn't going to register the information I needed to re-memorize


I before e except after c or when the vowel sounds like a as in neighbor and weigh sounds really awesome to read again.

Overall, a very presentable tool and found it to be neat to read.



Writer: Tina Marie George
Proud Member of WDC!
Write with heart-n-passion




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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
54
54
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



I'm Tina and part of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and dropping in to do a quick review. Please consider that all suggestion are based on my opinion and may be different from another reviewer. I hope that my suggestion can help improve your work but it offends you please disregard any suggestions.*Smile* Thank you for letting me review your item.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr* What I liked is the order you put these examples in. For example you waited for ance examples to be at the bottom of page. Very cool. I looked at these examples and there was allot of them that I do even mispronounce. Very trickey indeed. The blue titles of examples was easy to read and so was the example.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr*A very handy tool.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr*Great Examples.

Writer: Tina Marie George
Proud Member of WDC!
Write with heart-n-passion




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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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for entry "Do You Speak English?" 
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



I'm Tina and part of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and dropping in to do a quick review. Please consider that all suggestion are based on my opinion and may be different from another reviewer. I hope that my suggestion can help improve your work but it offends you please disregard any suggestions.*Smile* Thank you for letting me review your item.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr* I am a quarter brit Kiya. *Smile* My Mother is half and my Grandmother is full. My Grandmother married a full blood American and he was in the War. They both moved to the United States and had a family. My Mother is the oldest out two girls. It's interesting the examples you set. The examples highlighted in Red as where'as what country speak English is very (important). We as American need to know our common language (but also be educated.) Is that the only places in these countries that speak English? Just curious to know if there is any other countries? Also with it being highlighted is motivatiing to want members to understand the context of your item.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr* I like your examples you set in green and the chart.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr* I did not understand this example. Even heard it on T.V but still didn't get the meaning of it?

Tell your visiting English friend to hang his clothes in the ‘closet’ and he will hang them in the watercloset (bathroom). If you are his guest, he does not expect you to hang your wardrobe in the kitchen when he tells you the ‘cupboard’ is available

What is a cupboard in British terms?

Overall thanks again, Kiya! Very insightful- and you always seem to amaze me with educating.
Writer: Tina Marie George
Proud Member of WDC!
Write with heart-n-passion




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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by Tina M. Courtney
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .



I'm Tina and part of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and dropping in to do a quick review. Please consider that all suggestion are based on my opinion and may be different from another reviewer. I hope that my suggestion can help improve your work but it offends you please disregard any suggestions.*Smile* Thank you for letting me review your item.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr*There is allot of chapters relating to your guidlines of perfect writing. All with different titles and topics. But only those that are serious and like to read will take notice at your static items. You do them flawless so I shall have to take a look at them all.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr* Great examples of punctuations marks.

*Coffeeo**Books3**Leafr*Overall, the information is very helpful and I am glad I read them.

Writer: Tina Marie George
Proud Member of WDC!
Write with heart-n-passion




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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of You Are  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


*Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse*


I'm Tina and part of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and dropping in to do a quick review. Please consider that all suggestion are based on my opinion and may be different from another reviewer. I hope that my suggestion can help improve your work but it offends you please disregard any suggestions.*Smile* Thank you for letting me review your item.

*Books3* I already liked that you discuss love with a strong passion already in the poem. *Checkr* In poetry I look for these qualities rhythm, style, comprehension, errors of spelling, and was the writing having fun writing this poem.

*Books3* I liked that you provided a quatrain poem with hardly any punctuation flaws. Nothing is more irritating is when someone starts a poem not knowing where to put that first period, quotation marks, or how to emphasis their own lines.

*Books3* When reading the first and second stanza there was a consistent pattern of consonant sound s. The sounding carries and adds qualities. I muched liked your simile.

Example: When reading the word Sol*Reading* I had to think what is Sol, but reading throughout your poem readers get the comprehending meaning. *Checkr*

Because I love this poem so much I wanted to know why you ended it breifly. Well I guess if you love someone there is a never ending. A great poem.

Writer: Tina Marie George
Proud Member of WDC!
Write with heart-n-passion


 
STATIC
Poems by Tina M. George  (E)
Collection of poems.
#1891449 by Tina M. Courtney


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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of Wild Night  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.0)
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


*Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse* *Seahorse*


I'm Tina and part of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and dropping in to do a quick review. Please consider that all suggestion are based on my opinion and may be different from another reviewer. I hope that my suggestion can help improve your work but it offends you please disregard any suggestions.*Smile* Thank you for letting me review your item.

*Books3*In poetry I look for rythem, flow, quality, presentation, rhymes.

*Books3* There was not allot of grammer errors. Go back and check the spacing between your commas and your periods. You present a great understanding of a wild night making love. Every poem has to present a picture *Checkr*

*Books3* Check the structure of your poetry. You provided great quality but instead to emphasis the rhymes add words. Adding words reather if it rhymes or not is also very important to add in poetry. *Smile* I did not that in each line of your poem it did have choice in words that were important to relate your feeling as the writer. That's why I like it the best *book1* But it also important to remember structure.
What I liked most: Choice of words
Flowers are blooming
and my sweaty palms
Cracking voice of your,
wake my heart,breath
of your makes me warm..
Cause you are the emperor
of this love kingdom...

Example of how to structure your poem:
Example 1:

White curtains you hide behind
Lying on the bed, stealing a glance
on your sweaty back...

Eliminate first comma in first stanza.

Example 2:

Cracking voice of your'swakes me.
My heart beating breath by your body
that maketh me warm..

Poetry can be what you want as you provided a well example of. Poetry can also be fun and playful. You bring that to the table by reading your poem. Great job.



Writer: Tina Marie George
Proud Member of WDC!
Write with heart-n-passion


 
STATIC
Poems by Tina M. George  (E)
Collection of poems.
#1891449 by Tina M. Courtney


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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi I'm Tina M. Courtney . It is a privilage to review your bio. Please keep in consideration that this review is based on my opinions and may be different from a different reviewers. I hope that my review helps you enhance your skills, but it is up to you as the author to use the suggestions as tips and not as an offending comment. I further would like to add that it is a great opportunity for me to be reviewing your item as it will help my writers skill and reviewing skills. It is an honor to have an opportunity to be reviewing you item today.

Hi Jeff, the very first thing I noticed was your beautiful image of a cozy house. It is inviteing and makes members feel welcomed.

Errors and Suggestions:

The word Poetry as you divider is hudge. Suggestion to advertize your poetry items use a smaller font for an image.

Great Writing Techniques:

You have two items listed for each short story an poems. That is a unique idea and makes it look easy for the members to look into to your items you've wrote. What a neat idea! I also liked that you have images showing what items are listed *Checkr*


Final Note: Your bio is really neat and organized. I like that there are only two items for each catagory such as poem and short stories being one of them. Also liked that you make your bio warm and inviteing. A really good job on this one. *Smile*


Reviewer: Jr Leader Paper Doll Gang, Tina.
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of Poetic Meter  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
Rated: E | (5.0)
The Scansion gives me an idea of how you break up poetry. I seen the metrical pause. How fasinating. That is neat about quantitative meter.
The word "without" is an iamb. The word "golden" is a trochee. The word "energy" is an example of a dactyl. Anapests are dactyls in reverse (in fact, another name for the anapest is the antidactylus). The word "volunteer" illustrates the stress pattern of an anapest. Don't know what a spondee is? Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" is a really good poem. There is different meters I do see. *Smile*. This link was resourceful.
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Review of Legos  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm Tina and part of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  and dropping in to do a quick review. Please consider that all suggestion are based on my opinion and may be different from another reviewer. I hope that my suggestion can help improve your work but it offends you please disregard any suggestions.*Smile* Thank you for letting me review your item.

*Books3*Hey Jasmine, I am Tina. A post grad for Paper Doll Gang Alumni class. I see that you started a cinquain poem*Smile*. I used to be in Bonnie's class to as a student. I wanted to drop by and see what a cinquain poem is since it's been a while since I've seen what poetry looks like. Your poem looks great! It's such awesome example to help me remember what cinquain is.

*Books3*Okay the colors of the poem just pops out. Great choice for center alignment and using red to color your poem. I had to make sure colored was two word syllable. It was*Checkr* You did good.

*Books3*No one dares to write about lego. So great job for creativity and being the first. It just one of those poem that need to be written for the books. Kudos for the being the first. *Wink*

Overall Comment: Glad someone wrote about LEGOS!

Writer: Tina Marie George
Proud Member of WDC!
Write with heart-n-passion

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 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1891091 by Not Available.
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Review of Today I Loved  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi I'm Tina M. Courtney . It is a privilege to review your "Today I Loved"  Please keep in consideration that this review is based on my opinions and may be different from a different reviewers. I hope that my review helps you enhance your skills, but it is up to you as the author to use the suggestions as tips and not as an offending comment. I further would like to add that it is a great opportunity for me to be reviewing your item as it will help my writers skill and reviewing skills. It is an honor to have an opportunity to be reviewing you item today.

When looking at poetry I look for this to be in a poem, poetry flow, readers ability to comprehend the poem, rhythm and style.

I really like this poem. Most people would pefer a poem of rhymes but reading "Today I Loved"  is creative and poetic itself.


Errors and Suggestions:
Suggestion: To give visual appeal use Writing ML. Writing ML means using bold, bigger font, change alignment, and it also is the row as the boxes *Up* above any writing screen (forum) next to smiley face.

Love is grand.

Peace is right.

When the sky and land meet it is harmonious.

Two people kiss and sparks fly,

or they don't.

I believe they flew and tumbled

and flittered around, hitting the ground

to only be extinguished.

The spaceing may make it easier for reader to read. *CheckB*

Great Writing Techniques:

*Pencil* I liked that you used correct periods and commas in correct places.

Final Note:
A poem isn't always rhymes. Robert Frost poems were not always ryhmes. It is the originality and the poem I liked most about this poem. Good Job and Keep on Writing.

GROUP
The Rockin' Reviewers  (13+)
~Quality reviews given in a positive and encouraging manner
#1630911 by Osirantinous

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Review of Homecoming  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi my name is Tina and I'm part of the Paper Doll Gang. I found your item on updates. Please keep in mind that this review is based on opinions and may change from another reviewers opinions. Also, this review may be to help emphasis your story and help me learn better reviewing skills. It is honor to review your item as I've noticed your name around Writing.Com quite allot.
Again, thank you for an opportunity to read your item.

I'm impressed with the grammar knowledge and punctuation being flawless. Sometimes it is enjoyable as a reader to read an item where there is hardly any flaws.

Don't be afraid to use writingML to make your typing text appear bigger. It makes it easier for the readers to read along your story.

I like the nickname the character called her ex-husband at the begining of the story.
“You penny pinching bean counter,”

Best sentence because it highlights the story and theme, "Accusations. Challenges. Lawyers. Negotiations. Compromises.
Extremely and uniquely wrote with perfection in the sentence above.
You ended a period with accusations, challenges, lawyers, ect with no wrong errors.

She could still remember his mop of unruly brown hair, winning smile and confident manner.
This sentence had no error but liked you used coordinate adjective comma rule after unruly brown hair.

All of these eventually led to Julia selling out her share of the business to Mark at a healthy profit."

*Noter*Since Mark is the name of the ex it is being emphasized in the sentence. Using italics and bold in here would highlight your thought along the story and point out in the sentence for the readers.

Corrected*Sun*....of the business to Mark at a healthy profit."


*Noter*Possible error: And that, of course, destroyed their marriage in another welter.

And that should not have a comma. Just the word so that or that can't have any comma's after it in a phrase or compound. Other subordinates you can place commas used either in phrase or compound depending how the sentence is wrote. However, I am not sure about your sentence because it is being used as a direct interrupters in the sentence and makes since to place commas between of course because it is a suggestive thought. *Reading*


*Pencil*Correction: "He had been the centre of attention." Center is misspelled in this sentence.

Beginning- The main character and her ex-husband.

Rising Action- Ending her marriage and going back home.

Plot- Taxi cab ride home. Discussion in the kitchen about being back with an exboyfriend.

Falling Action- Mother making coffee as character describes her feeling of wanting to reconnect with a an exboyfriend.

Conclusion- Mom explains who the taxi-cab driver is.


Character description- The main character was described and explained through the story and well wrote to understand.


Final Thought and Overall Reaction- The beginging was well wrote explaining how the character felt and why her marriage is no longer a marriage in the narrator tone. The rising action was interesting to read to when she gets a ride home from the taxicab driver. Great character describtion on all the characters. Emphasize with narrator tone explaining the character's reason why she had an urge to find a new man as the falling action start to comes to the conclusion at the end of story. The character and her other character in the story was easy to understand who they were as characters. As a reader reading I was excited to read along wanting to know how the character was feeling thoughout the entire story. The end was funny and went great the character.
Also, the conclusion followed well with the story and was even joyous to read the end.*Smile* There was a bit of humor at the end.

Final Comment: It's nice to read a short story with humor at the end. It was joyful to read and enjoyed myself as if I was reading a real book. Liked much how there was hardly any grammer errors through your story. Thank you and if you decide to re-edit and want another review I would be glad to re review your item.

Have a wonderful day.

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Review of Men I Have Chosen  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, My name is Tina Marie and I am part of the Power Reviewer Group I want to say thank you for letting me review an item and hope you find my review encouraging and helpful.

In looking in any style of poetry I look for these things, rhymes, poetry patterns, flow, rhythm, style, and finally the readers take on the poetry.

I liked the flow of the poem most. It was natural and original. This wraps up one picture-your poem-into one package. The pattern was consistent and it was easy to enjoy reading poetry.

Flaws:{{/b}e:XR} Found none. No error in punctuation or misspelled words.

Final Thought: It was well wrote and the meaning is a perfect example of what you read in poetry.

Final Comments: Thank you for sharing your poetry. I could relate to it personally and it finally made me feel better. *Smile*




Sincerely Tina, part of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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Review of Our Guest Book  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I'm reviewing this item because I seen it was a positive post and forum. What a way to pass generous spirit here on Writing.Com. This was a really great thought for all the dedicated memebers who want a little cheer here on Writing.Com. Thanks for sharing.
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Review by Tina M. Courtney
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi, I'm Tina part of the Paper Doll Gang and as a student for New Horizon Academy. Looking at your poem I really like it's originality. The poem has true meaning.
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Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi this is Tina. I'm doing a review on your item because I saw that you had comment about love and food with this link in updates. *Smile* First, thanks for letting me get to review your item.
Secondly, I am thrilled to be reviewing your item after you had posted in updates.
Lastly, please keep into consideration these words are based on my opinion and may change from another authors opinions.

I like how you wrote your first sentence in this item.

In your post you put in a comment with a comma infront of a pronoun it. Comma needs to go before and, yet, but, or, for, and nor.

I like how you compared nuts to love in your third example.

I love this message your are trying to convey. Just shows how kind you are more so in the word mankind.
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Review of Remember You  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a review from "Invalid Item" 

Hi, I'm Tina part of the Paper Doll Gang. I am doing a review on your item"Remember You"  Please know that the review are based on my opinion to help offer suggestion to improve your writing. These words are my opinions and may be different from another reviewer.

In looking in any style of poetry I look for these things, rhymes, poetry patterns, flow, rhythm, style, and finaly the readers take on the poetry.

Looking at the style at first I like the choice of poetry writing. It was laid out to tell what is happening. And it made a form of style ulitimately an image to the readers.

Ex:Into you, into me, inside us it blew:
Past and future within us, our fool muse.

Suggestion: Unconscious, subconscious, constant seems rebundent and interfers with the flow. But I do like how the rythms are found here:

Ex:In and out, through the nose and lips, air moves
Ex:And subconscious touches that shiver through

In the bottom part of the poem the words are narrow.

Ex:I am back to thinking. I exist now
Ex:In and out, out and in, I lie with you.

Suggestion: Process of Elimination method is being able to include what you are feeling in more complexed writing.
I like what you mean in the poem. It makes sense to add the words but what does the meaning play for the poem? They were great words to add in the poem*Quill*but what other words could be complexed and alternate the meaning*coffeb* Using complexed words would intensify the meaning to the readers when reading it.

I personally liked the poem and relate to it on a personal matter. What the poem could mean can bring any image to the readers. That is also what is great about the choice of style wrote. If compared to another writer it would be Robert Frost. He once said in interptation in one of his qoutes I read is "It's easier to write a poem but harder to develop and write a poem". Robert Frost wrote many poems that didn't have constant ryhmes but gave an image to the readers instead.
*Smile**Pencil**Smile**Pencil**Smile**Pencil**Smile**Pencil*

My overall impression: I liked that I could easily relate to the peom on a personal level. The words were creative with in&out. It was romantic and reading it was a pleasure.

Sincerely, Tina

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Review by Tina M. Courtney
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Marc, I felt this item was overwhelming, sensational, captivating to me personally, uplifting from a bad to mood switching to a great mood. It was great you could relate with the students (me as well). Couldn't pass up the chance to review such a well wrote static item. Thank you for sharing this with me.

-New Horizon Academy Student (From The Ground UP)

Sincerely, student Tina.
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Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I'm Tina and found your peom pleasent to read. I found your poem on the WDC website that shows many writers new items that have been issued. I felt personally that I could relate to the poem. It made me feel relax after reading it. I wouldn't change the peom or I do not have any edit advice because I believe the poem presents quality. There were few poetry ryhmes but still couple to read. Comprehension of what it meant settled my day to be relaxing. I find that the idea of waking up in the moring and feeling negative with the heat of the sun even making your skin crawl, is the complete opposite of what your poem is saying. Your poem speaks opptimistic and why I found it pleasent to read.

Thanks for sharing.

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
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Review of Garden Sores  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
This is a review from Paper Doll Gang.

I am reviewing your "Garden Sores"  as a student of the"Invalid Item" Hi my name is Tina and I'm part of the Paper Doll Gang. Currently I'm a student in the Rockin Review Academy and I'm doing reviews to learn how to do better reviews. I want you to acknowledge that all advice here are just opinions and they may be different from another reviewer.First off, I want to say I like your method in writing. I've glanced through your portfolio and some of the items you've wrote. The contests that are now currently closed looked interesting. Some of the short story share the same style and writing skills. What I recognize in your writing is that you are very loud with your writing. You don't hold back and anything you say comes out to where readers get a clear picture of what is being read. That is a talent and that is great to have. In your story Garden Sores I'm not to sure if I understand it all together. I see that it was wrote for a daily contest to where you write 300 words or less.

Beginning-Bringing of the character of Amanda and her brother.

Rising Action-

Plot-Being raised from the grave including Amanda's brother.

Falling Action-Being chased.

Conclusion-The narrator brings Amanda being at the grave and telling that the angels flesh is what arises the dead people from the grave.

My impression

Character description-You brought the character of Amanda's brother in the story very well. I'm not sure why Amanda wasn't mention in detail at the beginning of the story. Try explaining in the beginning of who Amanda is at the beginning. Without it reader may get lost trying to find what is happening in the story.

Suggestion 1: . Of course, she had no intention of going through the gate, it was just that if the tattered men saw her escaping, their own energies would spike.

I don't think the comma should be place after gate. Of course comma is correct because it is the introductory of your sentence and it read well to have it put there, but before the pronoun it breaks the flow of the sentence with comma being placed there. Try shortening the sentence.

Suggestion 2: What is said three times is true.

What is being said three times true? Reading this I am not to sure what is being said three times and is true.

Rewrite the sentence to make it where the character is saying the taunting end of the story. I believe you were trying to emphasize the ending of the story. To bring suspense make the character have the last words.

Narrator Tone-The story was good with the introduction of the character of Amanda's brother. There wasn't much character description is to who Amanda is. At the end of the story it explains Amanda is an angel too and now her flesh will now be the rebirth of people be risen from the grave.
I did like some of the sentences structure because they were complex -ed and provided details.

Example 1: Lust needed fuel and Amanda was it.

Example 2: Headstones cracked and released their musty occupants.

Overall reaction-I thought the story was great at being creative. If you decide to re editing I would be happy to review your item again. I think this story has the capacity at being creative story being wrote. Enjoyed reading something new such as a grave, Amanda, and angels, and even a great leader in Paper Doll Gang.


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Review of Calling  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am doing I am reviewing your item "Calling" as a student of the "Invalid Item" . Hi, Jimminycritic I'm currently learning how to do reviews and ways to improve my reviewing techniques. Please take into consideration that my review of your poem may be different from another who may be reviewing. That being said, I hope this is an encouraging review and that you take what I can give for improving your poem.

In looking in any style of poetry I look for these things, rhymes, poetry patterns, flow, rhythm, style, and finally the readers take on the poetry.

I liked how the words were outspoken and with it being outspoken that I think is what gave your poetry style. There were no rhymes but the poetry flow was certainly there. I liked how there were no grammar errors and it made the poem easy because of no errors. However, I encourage to re read the poem over and see how it reads towards the end. The first three poem are saying something but at the end it breaks flow. There were strong phrases that I liked and that brought out your poem.

Example 1: The stillness of my heart
appalls me.

Example 2: My bones,
I feel,

I liked how in example two the bones is one of your choices of main emotions and source to creating the poem. I believe because of that line it brought out style and character to your poem.

In line 3- It seems to be objectively describing what happened and it adds more into poetry. The flow was good and it matched with the rest of the poetry. There were no errors or flaws in that particular phrase.*checkbl*

In line 4- "I am someone's lost love" was brief. Although it describes the point of what you writing in your point it isn't meaning to say your more symbolic figure expressing emotion of despair. The peom I like very much because it reminds me of a poem I wrote called "Emotional Loneliness" The difference is in my poem it was brief, and doesn't go on to describe. Your poem has the potential to point out why it is you are a lost love or a simile (lost dove). Your poem has style. If you decide to re-edit this poem I would be glad to review it. In spelling check it is saying that the word someone's is wrong because you have it being possessive. It should be someone or extend the phrase to a longer phrase. I really like what you had to say in the poem and the strong flow.

I choose to review your poem because you provided encouragement and made me want to keep up with being a member of Writing.Com. Furthermore, your item was found in the PDG Gift Station. Had to review a great instructor and commentator. You really wrote a good poem I could relate to. Last the poem suggest strong poetry style and very persistent to flow.




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Review of Feelings  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi I am a member of Writing.Com and I am reviewing your "Feelings"  as a student of the "PDG Rockin' Review Academy". In looking in any style of poetry I look for these things, rhymes, poetry patterns, flow consistency, rhythm, writer tone, style of poetry, and finally the readers take on the poetry.

I like how you were able to share a story with love and loneliness. The impression is this is a poem about a person feeling vulnerable and seeking to find true love. I personally liked this poem because it relates to a self experience of what I am presently accepting. I did hear once and you must have hear do that a person must accept themselves before they truly can be happy. Finding love and being happy I think is two different things. I truly believe that now I must be happy in order to ever find love. I did find patterns of poetry in the ending and starting of another line. The writer tone is very strong and it is relating to what you are the person in the poem is feeling. My overall take is if there are some changes then it could emphasize the poems meaning. Go back and make sure that you know what acronyms are capitalize such as the word But.The word because in Because I feel like I’ve got choices breaks away the quality you want your reader to feel.
What I did like I’m not sure what’s the dealwhen working with grammar and poetry skills.
Suggestion: Short phrase that can edit with word change or periods to strengthen sentences.
Correction:Who I’ve just met or known awhile- who should be lower case and a period should go at the end of awhile.
Suggestion: Maybe I’m not ready to give my heart
But I want to give and receive love.
Correction:Maybe I’m not ready to give my heart.- Reread and check some of the lines and see if the phrases can be edited for peotry quality.
But I want to give, cherish, and recieve love. The word doesn't exactly have to be cherish but another simile to describe and complete the sentences to start of the next phrase.
Overall, I liked how it made me feel. There was positivity and it helped me remember to receive love. If you do make edit changes I would be willing to read. This poem has allot of potential and was great describing an experience.





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Review by Tina M. Courtney
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing your "Reaching for the Stars"  as a student of the ""Invalid Item" " .Hi my name is Tina and I'm part of the Paper Doll Gang. Currently, I'm a student in the Rockin Review Academy and I'm doing reviews to learn how to do better reviews. I really like the interesting choices of words you used in some of your sentences.
My idea of what the story was about a character who explains her trip to reaching to the stars. I really liked how you were able to use certain words to describe what is happening in the story. I find it to be a challenge sometimes when writing a short story to write good enough character description. It's one thing to describe the place but it is another thing to describe how the character feel using senses. When you wrote see the diamonds glance in the stars I did like how it went well with your story. There was some sentences that was short and needed to be complete sentences. Example: Her hands broke through the surface. Checking sentences to see if they can be longer will strengthen the style of your story.
Errors found: But she had felt the sensation before. Dryness. That horrible chill that bit at her when she left her watery home. It was a claustrophobic nightmare to feel the air surround her, that moistureless current stealing the humidity from her hair and skin. 

You have started another introduction paragraph. The word that is a subordinate word which requires no comma before it in a sentence. A suggestion is to give your character a name. Also look at the sentence and see where you have the word that for replacement of another word.

Your story was strong and it show great simile used through the story. I really liked your story. If you make the edit changes I would be willing to review your story again. Overall, I liked how the story was strong with character description.

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Review of Tactics  
Review by Tina M. Courtney
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I am Tina. Doing a random review on here with Writing.Com. Funny thing is that I thought of those same exact thoughts when I'm cooking. Usually that's when my food is either burnt or turned to globb and end up in the trash can. Word of suggestion- use Italics and Writing ML to spruce up the text and the message. I like what you wrote just need to decorate it with some Writing ML and color. The :P didn't good with the poem but however your intials was pretty cool. Your poem was pretty good and I end up getting a good laugh out of it. Have a wonderful day.
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