|Hi Jake, I couldn't find your Imayo Poem in the entries of your Poems for Poetry Challenge so I'm including it my review of your "Last Man on Earth Walking Down a Dirt Road" which is not an Imayo and doesn't qualify for the Round 58 at the Oriental Poetry Contest. So I'm ignoring that poem and am reviewing the poem you posted as a reply to the Round 58 Challenge.
the very last man on earth, is walking alone
down a muddy country path, alone in his thoughts
sees a lone store with a flag, stops by for coffee
drinking his coffee alone, the ghosts whispering
This poem is an Imayo, you worked within the frame perfectly. Your lines are broken by caesura in exactly the right place and they read with a nice rhythm and clarity. Awesome.
Could it be taken to another level, I think so. For example, you use the word "alone" 3 times in this very short poem which is usually not recommended because it seems redundant. I think you should consider finding a substitute word for at least one of the "alone" s. Something like, The very last man on earth, walks in solitude. This is just my opinion, use what you think helpful ignore the rest.
This starts out an image of a lone man walking, but then the imagery gets more interesting, the country path, a flag on the store, stopping for coffee and best of all the surprising last phrase that brings us back to the first phrase, he isn't just a lonely man, he is the only man, with only ghosts for company. Nice writing.