Hi Sum 1, I'm here to read and review your | |  | Nine  (E)
It's hot out, the game must be played. A fight? Good thing Dennis is there.
#1794061 by Sum1   |
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 First impression: The title "Nine" is just enough to spark some curiosity. The length of the poem is intimidating.
 Form A poem written in 13, alternating rhymed, quatrains. No apparent metric or syllabic pattern.
 Texture, rhythm, word choice, and sonics. "baseball language" When read out loud it has a fairly fluid rhythm with occasional awkwardness. It reads like a ballad without the rhythm. (Read it out loud, you'll hear it). Despite its length, the story moves along quite quickly with some twists and humor.
 Suggestions If this were mine, I would find those lines that throw off the rhythm a bit and make subtle changes such as "For what he’d said, had been uttered on a whim" changing to "For what he'd said, was uttered on a whim." Or to take it a step further. Bring this into real ballad mode and lose a few, change a few syllables and use the metric pattern of the true ballad.
The elements of the Ballad are:
1. a lyrical narrative, a story to be sung. The poet is the story teller.
2. stanzaic, written in any number of quatrains. Whatever it takes to tell the tale.
3. often composed in accentual verse with alternating lines with 4 stressed syllables and 3 stressed syllable. Some literary ballads are metrical, L1 and L3 written in iambic tetrameter, the L2 and L4 are iambic trimeter.
4. usually rhymed, either alternating rhyme scheme abab, cdcd, efef . . . . or staggered, sequential rhyme, xaxa xbxb, xcxc etc (x being unrhymed).
5. composed with the subject focused on a single, crucial episode. A stanza shows the audience a dramatic moment and then jumps to the next colorful moment without always supplying the connecting thoughts between stanzas. This is called "leaping and lingering".
6. dramatic, we are shown, not told the tale. It is common to hear a character speak from the poem, bringing the story alive
You have already checked almost all of the boxes.
This is your poem, I am merely showing you your writing through another's eyes. Use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.
 Conclusion I enjoyed the trip, interesting, dramatic, and humorous.
~~Tink
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| (4.0)
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First impression The title is pretty generic, I question if it will entice the random reader. The appearance on the page is long which might scare off the casual reader. It is OK it also might attract the more serious readers.
SuggestionsThere are no technical errors that jump out at me. In my opinion, the last strophe is too telly and the poem would have more impact if you deleted the 3rd strophe from the bottome, "That is the lost dream of mine" and the last strophe "But it won't, I know that now" and instead ended this piece repeating your 1st strophe. "A lost dream of mine
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
First impression The title sets a melencholy tone. Sonnets are always a draw.
Overall This poem is lovely, offering hope in the declamatory couplet. I enjoyed reading this poem. 
First Impression Intriguing title. Very small poem, looks quick and easy to read and review. 
Form Free Verse in 6 lines.
Texture, rhythm, word choice, and sonics This reads fluidly. The space before L6 creates drama. L6 is a surprise.
First impression Great, intriguing title. The poem appears organized and easy read on the page. A winning combination. I can't imagine anyone passing this by.
Form Written in iambic tetrameter, 4 quatrains made up of 2 rhymed couplets each. Impressive, metric poems are becoming fewer and fewer. 
First impression The title is fairly generic, which may or may not entice the random reader. The brevity on the page, however, says fast and easy, stop and read.
Form A Free Verse poem in 12 short lines. 
Texture, rhythm, word choice, and sonics This reads kind of choppy because of the short lines. This is written like a list. I thought the end rhyme of L10 and L1 brought a pleasant sound and interest to the piece. L12 would have been a surprise, except for the title giving it away, but it did pull the poem altogether. 
Suggestions I see no technical error in this piece. But because of that last line, if this were mine, I would change the title to not give away the surprise. Of course this is just my opinion and it is your poem. Use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.
Overall This was a simple, easy poem to read. I enjoyed it.
I think this is going to be a pretty short review considering the length of your writing.
First Impression Nice title. Where's the rest? 
First Impression I can't think of anyone who could resist that title. We've got to see it. 
Form A poem in 32, 8 syllable lines, arranged in 8 quatrains, each made up of 2 rhymed couplets. Rhyme, syllable count, stanza breaks spot on. 
Texture, rhythm, word choice and sonics The even syllable count keeps the rhythm fairly fluid. The finding of a cherished cup adds texture and interest, as do the letters from a love outgrown. I loved the word "jerk", the poem couldn't have ended on a better word. 
Suggestions No technical errors jumped out at me.
Overall I found this to be fun to read. Thanks for a bit of humor on this soggy day in Cali.
First Impression I am always drawn to the shape of the Etheree. The title The Wall is intriguing. I think when seen, this poem will be read by a random reader.
Form Etheree. s simple progressive syllabic verse attributed to American poet Etheree Taylor Armstrong. The elements of the Etheree being:
Texture, rhythm, word choice and sonics The texture is in the progression of not just the syllable count but in the development of the focus. Well done. Simple language used but broadened with "mortar" and the alliteration of "building bricks". The poem flows fairly fluidly except for L5 which I stumbled over. 
Suggestions Not only did I stumble on the rhythm of L5, I also didn't understand it in the scheme of the poem. My first reaction was replace with "with brick and mortar" but then I realized you use "brick" very effectively elsewhere, so what other word or phrase would work here? "with grit and mortar" "with stone and mortar"? I like grit because it is a hint at the character rather than the material. Just throwing out ideas. This is your poem, use what you feel helpful and ignore the rest. 
Overview I liked this poem. The last line pulls it all together. Nice read.
or a 
or 
or a simple reply. So here I am writing a whole review. Besides I have a goal to write at least 2 reviews a day and this is my 2nd. 
First Impression I thought title a little curious. My thought, Would we feel what? The colored font, the poem centered on the page, I thought attractive.
Form Written in 4 quatrains with staggered mono-rhyme, xaxa xaxa xaxa xaxa, x being unrhymed. Metric pattern L1, L3, L4 of each stanza, iambic tetrameter, L2 of each stanza, iambic trimeter. I could not find a recognized Verse Form using the elements of this poem. However, it is very similar to some recognized Verse Forms created by English poets in the 20th and 21st centuries. So new form, if copied, is born.
Suggestions I don't really have any thoughts on how this could be improved.
