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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tomatogal
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450 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am a Power Reviewer, but I have been busy of late.Thank you for the review. I appreciate your time reading my dog story. I will work on paragraph separation. Meanwhile, you have a cute idea here. I think you could take it even further, but you've provided a good time for a reader with what you have done. Best wishes to you!
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Have you felt like a wolf before? I never picked that animal as a totem. I am much less obtrusive. I might pick a mouse or a tanager. Your poem gives me a idea of reaching for an animal totem and see what I come up with. I love cats, maybe a cougar...I like the idea of your poem and the simplicity of the words. Food for thought as they say~
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Review of FEAR  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A scary experience which you are anxious to report about, but it is difficult to read without more punctuation. Grammar is a drag sometimes, but it helps me, the reader, be able to follow your story much more easily. I kinda wonder about the policeman not more concern if it was night, you were alone, and there is a guy with an ax wandering around. It is your story and if that is the way it came about, so be it. Try slowing down and separating sentences and adding a comma now and again for the reader to pause when appropriate. Good luck to you, and of course keep writing!
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Review of The Rule  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow. I had to read this several times to get at your meaning. That is not a bad thing. I usually listen to poems first, and then look further into the words. This one takes even another read to hear what you are saying or my version of it. I kinda relate it to a bad mother experience in my mind, but you may have been only thinking as a fantasy character. Either way, it makes sense and though creepy, a good read.
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Review of Scott's Pot  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very cute. I like the ending. At least that much we can be sure of. "It is Scott's pot." I can see the pictures to go with this book. I think you would have a hit! Best wishes to you and your writing.
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Review of Mirrors Lie  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Thank you for your very kind and thorough review off "The Rescuer". I appreciate that you "got it" about my work. This came up to review, so here I am. This like my piece is a contest entry ready to mature into a book if not a series. You have all the characters in place. There is a premise, a mission statement, and the plot is set. "hell on Earth" or not. Wonderful. Now you just have to write it if it isn't, like my work, already developing in your mind and at your computer. Best wishes to you, hope Demus finds Cade and falls in love with Nikki!
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Review of Missing Christmas  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am always impressed with these poetic forms and what some writers do with them. Simple words, but a strong message. Without saying as much we feel the longing for the missing person, in the milotary, and during the holidays it is most poignant. Well done.
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Review of Queen Mary I  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Very clever and educational! I think the word "reagent" is misspelled, but otherwise, it is easy to read and has a cheery if ominous flow. Good job. Good luck~
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Review of Tribute  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I love the tone of this piece. The conversation was realistic and the whole thing was fun. I guess the witch must have really scared them to make three guys get something like this together,ha-ha. Best wishes to you, author and your continued journey writing!
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
There are a few lines that take this poem beyond the heartbreak ones we have all read. I wish you could develop the ideas you have about the "street scene" and "one more hustle". It makes me curious, but there is just not quite enough. I like the dichotomy of the one left behind unjustly and the thought he/she might be better off without this perhaps "bad' choice.
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Review of Blinders  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice metaphor. I always love encouraging words! It is all so true, especially, it seems, for writers. You fluctuate between delight and discouragement, fearing the value of your creation. Writing.com gives a lot of validation that we all need. I like this poem for the confidence it gives.
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome to Writing.com! Here is a review from a member of the Power Reviewer's group. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I like your story. It makes me feel sad and happy at the same time. I like the idea he is gone, but still watching his wife. It took me a second to figure out the ending, but not too long. When I did, I was very pleased. I think the three sentence ending is haunting. I would change "had" to "has". Well done~
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Review by Sara
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Happy Birthday, belatedly. I just picked this piece out of the folder to read and review. I see you wrote it a long time ago, so maybe you haven't checked it out lately or don't really want to change it, but I will give my two comments after I say that I liked the merging of old and new. The modern witch/alien as a Hansel and Gretel story unfolded was a great new spin to an old tale. I liked the part where they are looking around the forest in amazement. I feel that way when I am in a canopy of trees, as well.I have two suggestions, In the sentences, "What kind of building is that? she squeaked...I think the she should be "She" and In the sentence~ Still, they followed hher inside reluctantly~, I would say reluctantly is putting it mildly. Perhaps "though their better judgment told them otherwise" or something . Dumb little points, but things that I felt about your twist of a tale of Hansel and Gretel. Hope you did something fun on your birthday. Mine is coming up, and I hope to bug my husband for a couple "honey do's" ha-ha. Best wishes~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am looking to review something for you for the 15th birthday party you've worked on. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is where I landed, so I'm gonna go with it. I don't think anyone should tell another writer they are terrible. They may need to keep working hard as we all must, but if someone is writing , that is a huge start over someone who is not. I feel the same way about art. Who am I to say it is good or bad? I can point out what I like or don't like and that is about it. If the writing is poor in my opinion, the review must be all the more helpful. That is what I like about Writing.com.; there are so many different writers for so many different reasons.
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Well, I just jumped in at lucky 13 to do a review for the raid. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** . I didn't have too much trouble guessing what might have happened before and anticipating what was to come. I hope he is not a bad guy. I worry, which makes me want to read on. Well done. I see you wrote this quite awhile ago. It gives me hope for my six year old project!!! Two small suggestions. At the end of the first paragraph, I think "her" would fit better than "Sara". And in the next paragraph I would like "this" ...woman or whatever instead of "the". Dumb little things, but thought I might as well let you know. Best wishes~
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Review of In The Heart  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hoping to do some raiding after a long break~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Tere is something comforting about this poem. Maybe it is the lines, "Our way of thinking may get foggy..." I hope that is true as I age, I wonder. I have forgotten and lost so many "friends" along the way. I know I have so many more in my life, but once in awhile I have vivid memories of others, important at one time or another, lost now. Here's to treasures in your heart!
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Review of IT'S UP TO YOU  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Here is a Power Review for you from one of the review groups here at WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to WDC! This is a very nice poem with a pleasant sentiment. My favorite stanza is the one "A Tree begins with a seed..." I also like the line that there is only one you. If I was having a bad day and you sent this poem to me, it would really cheer me up. That is a strong thing, that our words can cause such emotions. Good job!
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Here is a Power Review for you from the Power Reviewers group. You did a review for me, and I wanted to return the favor. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I like this romantic story. It is interesting to read what may be commonplace in your culture and local events, but for me, all new. It is a great setting for romance. I was a little confused by Bala's bad mood in the car when you first introduced him.I suppose he is stressed out from work. I liked the part about short term and longterm memory. I am sure English is not the only language you speak, and this is a difficult piece to provide all the editing for grammar that t needs. I could not write in any other language as well as you have done here. If you have something very important you want edited for grammar sometime, I would be happy to help. English is horrible for all the rules and how they can be broken. Best wishes to you, and I hope Bala and Vanessa live "happily ever after".
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Review of I’m A Realist  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Here is a Power Review from a group that encourages reviewing because we all want and need feedback, maybe especially you... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I liked what you had to say especially the lines "And I often fake..." and I like the line "Zero, infinity to the left.: I got lost a little about the 6th stanza about what gets your goat., but otherwise, it was an interesting study of a kind of person I am not, ha-ha. I am a realist, but always looking to be surprised. Best wishes to you and your writing~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A Power Review of your article from one of the many helpful review groups here at Writing .com. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Welcome to this website. There is as much as you might ever want going on here. It is a community that can help, humor, and console. I have been writing here for 2 years, and it has become much more than I expected. I was curious about your subject which you certainly researched and discussed well. I know, for myself, I thought and talked about the measurements for the Ark a few times in my life, and this was interesting in the same way, but well put forth. The only suggestion I can make is to include a final paragraph, just to sum things up. You write very, and though the subject was a dry one, I am glad I read it!
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Review of Author-Writer  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Here is a Power Review from one of the many review groups here. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Welcome to Writing.com! You will find many activities to get your creative juices flowing as well as reviewing and editing help. Thank you for the review of my Frost in the Garden poem. It was a bit wordy, now that I read it back. Thank you for the heads up. I like the thought in this short poem; author turns into writer. I think you have to stretch yourself and make this even better. If the ideas were phrases instead of just words, and you added punctuation, it would complete your thoughts better and let the reader in on them. I can see that you are going to be writing more and more, just make yourself work a little harder. There is a typo with the word "novel", so you can see proof reading is a must (especially when you start participating in contests). All this is given in the spirit of helpfulness and the hopes that I see you around more and more with some great creations in the future. Best wishes~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Here I go to earn my keep. A Power Review for you~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is such a sweet tale. I, too, have handkerchiefs, but they are from my Mom. One with violets on it is my favorite and she taught me to always carry one in my purse, so I do. I am so glad I read this, it is right for my mood. Fourth of July was always a big family time when I was young. I miss that. Anyway, I wanted to point out a word that you might want to change, even if this was written 13 years ago! I thinks where you have "table clothes" since there is no comma for a list, you meant "table cloths". I can just see a kid looking through the stuff that someone has put in piles at the Grama's house. We all may have experienced that at some time for a relative's things. I liked "Socks,", too. I think I will read it to my granddaughter when she is here later in the week.
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Review of Divorce, Murder  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A Power Review for you from the group who makes a point of reviewing because after all, we all like to hear what others think. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I think this s believe able. Well written from the guy's perspective with real thought patterns. I have had my own brush with verbal abuse and control, so for me it is very real. I am not sure about some of the conversation, such as "I got to talk..." Should it be "I've got"? or would he not speak in that way. I also wonder about the rating. Maybe not appropriate for everyone. I don't know how many under 13 are actually reading here or what age level should worry about this sort of story. On the whole though, it is very good and I am glad to get to review it.
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Welcome to Writing.com. This is a Power Review from one of the many reviewing groups here to help you gain feedback on your work and also learn and grow. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I am reading this off the public viewing and I think you have alot to say. It just needs some organization. I like the format of the large title and blue piece, but it needs some work. Somewhere along the line you gave up capitalizing because even you have been trained to do so and started out that way. It is a good thing when writing leads you to freedom of any kind. The fly part is OK, but a little goes a long way as you start to expand the view and consider the options of participating in the world. I don't know if I would jump to shot guns just for shocking value. Even a car horn would do. Best wishes to you and your writing endeavors~
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Review of Poetry's Faith  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Another great poem and a review from a Power Reviewer ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** . I really like the cadence of this poem. I ream it slowly the first time to get the words right. I read it a little quicker the second time to catch the meaning. I read it rolling off my tongue quickly, and it fit like a drummer and a march. My favorite line "deaf to the rhythm of stanza and line". I would not change a thing.I am so glad you are blessed with God's help to create poems for us all~Best wishes.
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