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450 Public Reviews Given
450 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Tagged with Honor  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A Power Review for your poem on a personal items raid. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I wish we didn't have to have poems like this. I wish for an end to war. Is man able to do this? I have my doubts. Today on the news there is quite a bit about a letter a soldier wrote years ago about Ramadi. Now years later, the city has fallen again to a new terror. So many young men died for this years ago. I don't want to forget that or them, not one of them. I,of course, like the last two lines and they are the crux of the matter; our freedom is jeopardized in so many ways. I have only respect for those who have chosen to step forward for the cause.
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Review of Night Flight  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
A quick review for you from Power Reviewers Group. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** As usual, your images are soft, but clear. Your words come like gentle breezes suggesting for us to see what you create. I really like this poem and the sentiment within. I have heard "the rushing river stones speak softly" and of course the feathered winged night calls". I feel like I am next to this couple on their romantic date, watching the surroundings and feeling the love. Very nice~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A Power Review for you~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This poem has more symbolism and instruction than many I have read. I feel a little like a student in an English Literature class sorting through your meaning. I am certainly the turtle at this point, and I think I slowed from ratism when I moved out of the city and began a family. Children make you settle and drive you crazy at the same time, but the rough edges wear off with time and you slow the pace eventually. I hope that the children always hear their elder's cheers. I think sometimes they get so busy, they don't listen for it or care.
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Review of Eunice the Unique  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A quick Power Review for you~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I really liked how the poem started. It did stick to the prompt, and I could see a typical cottonwood leaf clearly. You did an excellent job with all senses knowing the leaf. I was excited to have you find one so different, and when you began to change, I thought,"this is gonna be cool." Unfortunately for me (and you) when you turned into a cottonwood tree, to some extent, with your face still there with emotions and stuck in one place, the happy fantasy was over. The change was horrible, and I wished for you to turn back!
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A quick Power Review for you! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** . A mother can't protect her children against everything. I learned that lesson early when my daughter fell in our yard and came within inches of a sharp rock and a skull fracture. Right then and there I realized I couldn't protect her all the time. There was some good luck and hopefully a good fairy in there once and awhile to protect my children. This mother might have been thinking of an accident with the other teens in the car, peer pressure being what it can be. I doubt she worried about a breeding ball of snakes. Poor woman, I hope she didn't blame herself for long. Well, Harry, I decided I never want to go swimming in the South for these exact reasons! Thanks for your poem, I think...
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Review of Her  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to Writing.com. I really like the sound of your poem, before I even consider the meaning of your words. I think there is a rhythm in his exasperation that carries into the poem. I think using "ing" endings to your verb kept it present instead of a distant remeberance, the pain occuring as we read rather than some other time. My favorite line is "Heart thumping in my chest like the parade's band". I do think punctuation would help. As a reader it may be hard for me to know how the phrases sound without it. The second line for instance would read better as "As winds whistle taunts, growing colder." Best wishes to you and your future here at this amazing site. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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Review by Sara
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A sweet review for a sweet little story that I think I will read to my grand daughter. It has all the right stuff; planets, fantasy, magic, a young girl, and a horse. Happy ending helps, too. It takes a good imagination to come up with your intro and the concept of an alternative world. Happy Anniversary and thank you for you do for all of us. I have been here a short time relatively and have met so many nice writers and received help I can't put a real money value on let alone GP's!
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Review of Fighting Abel  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A review from the Power Reviewers group for you~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Well, it is creepy enough to be disturbing. I am sitting alone in the morning dark, and I am ready to move away from my desk carefully to get a cup of coffee and turn a light on! I don't usually go for these types of stories, but I read it to the end kinda knowing what was coming.You give just enough clues to tease the reader on.The use of the italicized words for the thoughts of the doctor worked very well. Sometimes this tool is overused. Only the last "almost" could be removed. He could see Lucas...Best wishes with your writing and I will go turn that light on, now!
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
So in return, I will do a review for you from the Power Reviewers. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** . There it is, the use of description to show, not tell. I am on the packed train, happy to get stability from the wall with my hip, looking about and listening to all that goes on; very fly on the window. I really liked the food analogies; spaghetti, pickle juice, and a stomach with indigestion. We all have knowledge of these simple things, so they work well for any audience. I worry sometimes that I might use a metaphor no one else can relate to. I didn't see the end coming, of course, and wondered what the point would be if they ended the train ride. It was a wonderful story for the prompt. My only struggle in reading was the first sentence. I understood the skipping of the next to last step, that was a clear vision for me and set the tone of a no-nonsense narrator. I just had trouble reading it all together and would separate the sentence into two with a second sentence starting, "As a seasoned..." I would love to go to India, but not in my cards now, so I will settle on your desk chair adventure~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome to Writing.com! This a review on behalf of a group I am in here, the Power Reviewers. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** It is always nice to get a review and I think this might be one of your first.I think your story is interesting enough that I read it to the end. That is meant as a compliment thought it may sound harsh. The clues were enticing and I liked the kid's perseverance. You need to work on your format. Conversations need to be separated so that they can be read more easily. You know who is talking, but the reader has a hard time following when you switch characters speaking. I like that you wrote this in first person, it was believable that way, just be careful you don't slip back into third person when describing action, unless you plan to do it consistently. I think if you re-read you stiry slowly, you will catch a couple missing commas, but not tons. Best wishes with your writing~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Welcome to Writing.com, I am reviewing this as part of the Power Reviewers Group group ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I think you have a nice start to your story, here. I really liked the title and as a country farmer, I see them all the time. I can imagine the symbolism before I even read a word of your first chapter. Although there are some missing commas in conjunctive sentences such as, "My brother started the car, and..." and a couple places the sentences could be separated such as " I had refrained..." These are minor points. I like your "voice" and how she is remembering simple things as she is leaving, and her first impression at the very end that she would never forget. Those are examples of the reality you have brought to your beginning. Lots of work ahead. Best wishes~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Quite the hymn to emergence from depression. I like the repeating break and the promise you are making. I like the line from Fate "Don't worry, you have no reason to be ashamed, I think that is most important. Accepting yourself and realizing that the black cloud is not how others see you. The effect of your mood yes, but your essence, no. Best of luck on your new journey. Keep this poem in front of you. The colors and fonts are fun.
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I have to say that the last two lines throw me back into depression. I was hoping for a happy ending. I like the cadence and the use of the line breaks to get your thoughts across. I think the word"minds" should be "mind's". I hope that this bout of lonliness passed and that you can use your writing and the activities on this site to fight through it. Best wishes to you with the contest!
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Review of The Bud Vase  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this simple metaphor and I think you did an excellent job without making too big a fuss. I can picture the bud vase and the flower within and how the two compliment each other through your words. I also know my husband and I am very much the same, finishing the talents of each other to become much more.
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Review of LOVE  
Review by Sara
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Well, best to let him go if you can't trust him. Your heart will heal and both of you will have learned something. If it is meant to be, he will straighten up and tell the truth if asked. I think this is emotional for you and I can imagine you are fairly young. Been there, long ago, but with that same situation and heartache. Soemay it will be a blip on your timeline. For now, it made you a writer and that is the best thing of all!!
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hmmm, I feel like I step up behind some folks having a conversation in the 60's. I don't know all the characters, so I don't get the full importance of this. Maybe there is more to tell or you could add a prologue about what and when. Interesting and sometimes strange, i'e' the socks. I see "their" misspelled twice and again at the end. Good luck with your writing~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
That was a good gotcha! Did you think of it yourself or hear it somewhere else. Be careful if it was someone else's joke. Otherwise fun stuff. Please, write another to prove this is all you. Then you better hit the stage as a comedienne. Good luck with you writing~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great poem. We have all been forgotten princesses, well I have. The line "self-inflicted tower? lets the reader know what the poem is about right off the bat. It helps to follow the theme through the rest of the lines. She is the witch, the stepmother, the beast. I am not sure about two=toned, but two faced for sure. She knows it, so there is hope she will climb done and rejoin the world. Excellent job.
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can totally relate. This year was "our" year with the grandchildren. Last year was not and it was rough. I think maybe next year I will volunteer at the community center dinner rather than sitting around feeling the melancholy of Christmases past. I haven't given the ornaments away, but I should think about doing that in the next few years as the children move up from being toddlers. It was fun to decorate the house this year, but next? Thank you for the review and good luck on getting back to your novel writing. I am onto query letter and sending off to see what's next on a six year old novel project. Happy New Year!
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Review of Little Brother  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is very cute. I am so glad for a happy ending. Being the older sibling can cause jealousy and I am glad that was not the theme here. I like the line "He still drinks from a bottle and fills his pants...". I can imagine the complaints of the older child and they are well put in his words. Best wishes to you and your writing~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Welcome to writing.com. It is indeed an amazing site with so much help and like-minded people. I see that you listed this as poetry which I would agree. I still wish it had been written in that form so that the incomplete sentences and the sound of the phrases would have come to me in the traditional way. It is always good to try new things, but in this case, I was wondering about the grammar when I should have been listening to the sound. Best wishes to you and your writing~
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Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
So, I am heterosexual and not used to leaning in so close to others who are not. I am not repelled by it, just feel a little like a voyeur because I am not attracted to them, I guess. Social qualms with no basis, probably. Judgmental, assuredly not. This is very well written and I only saw one word I would change and that is at the beginning of the paragraph ,"Lost in each other..." The word "cheers" should be cheered to go with all the other past tenses, or it could read"marked by the cheers" or something to that effect.Otherwise, I think their conversations are natural, their teasing appropriate, and the scene quite romantic. Best of luck with the contest and your writing!
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Review of Eons of Echoes  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I love the images in this poem, especially the first lines. For me, I feel like it is a comment on our misuse of our planet and the Great Spirit that gifted it to our kind. I am always saying(ask my kids) :when this planet has had enough of us, it will shake us off like fleas. Even if you did not mean it in this way, that is the thought it provoke in me. The depth of your thoughts for this 21 lines is amazing to me, and I am anxious to try the sort of arrangement you have shown here where lines describe a phrase before it. There are some great reads in this contest this month and as usual, you have written one of them. Good luck!
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Review of Young Hearts  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am a member of the Power Reviewer Group and I offer you a quick review, but first, I want to welcome you to Writing Dot Com. I think you will find more than just writing exercises here. There are people who can really help and encourage you with your writing. If for no other reason than the creation of something that wasn't there before, it is a good thing you have joined and become a new member of this community. Your poem is full of anguish which I feel sometimes at the end of the Christmas season. All the fallderall (sp?) leads to a build up that is hard to satisfy. I hope your "Young Heart" can find joy in the new year to feed your soul and fill your heart. Best wishes to you and your writing. See you around~
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Review of Christmas Magic  
Review by Sara
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A quick review from a Power Reviews Group member: So sweet and simple. I think the meter and rhyming makes it sing-song plain which goes so well with the subject. The ending was predictable, but still so happy to get there! Hope your Christmas was as magical and Happy New Year to you and more writing success!
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