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1
1
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Truer words I never heard
I like the rhyme about past time.


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2
2
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

I really liked this poem until I reached the last verse. I understand the feeling you are trying to convert, that loss, that darkness, that emptiness. But I think you need more in the last verse. it was anticlimactic. It's the the last two lines I'm having a issue with. As I read the poem, I thought you were caring for yourself with the picture you painted and expressing all the desires many have. I liked the yin/yang effect of the poem - I want this, but not too much of this. I see you striving for balance. And it is well represented in the poem. I did not see any punctuation and / or grammar issues. Overall, it is a really good poem. Please continue to write; I look forward to reading more of your writing.

Regards,
tucknits


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3
3
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed the images that you envisioned and conveyed through your words in this poem. It has a fairly consistent meter and I thought your picture choice complimented the poem nicely. I'm not sure about the introduction of the ice element into the poem, but I suspect you wanted to convey a sneak preview of weather to come

Very gentle easy flowing free verse poem.

Write on!

tucknits


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4
4
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your story "And Then There Were Two"
.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

Title: An engaging title and description

Plot, Characters, Scene: Inspiration for the settings, characters and story comes from real life characters and events. Believable and engaging.

Suggestions: Continue to write more about this life adventure

Overall Impression: An immersive and engaging read that could have been two short stories easily. Writer used creative and descriptive imagery throughout the story well. Much pathos engendered and conveyed well.

Final Thoughts
: Consider pulling these stories together into a memoir. You have a compelling life story to tell.

Write on!

Sabaka

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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5
5
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angela,

This is heart wrenching and there are tears in my eyes, reading this.What mother wouldn't give anything to turn back time and keep her child safe? You captured that thought so poignantly, seriously heartfelt writing!

My only picky word corrections would be an apostrophe on the 8th line for the word "I'd". I would also change the numbers to the written form - for example, four instead of 4. Just suggestions :)

My favorite descriptive line:"…twilight slips into her indigo gown". There are many to choose from - creative use of imagery throughout.

Overall impression is a poem incredibly well-crafted and clearly written from the heart.

You have my heartfelt condolences.

Sabaka


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6
6
Review of Silent Screams  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Silent Screams".

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Appropriate to the content of the form; fitting title.

IMAGERY: intense, very poignant, upsetting experience alluded to

RHYMING & REPETITION: None; freeform poem

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Freeform with no consistent metric pattern.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: None

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Intense poem suggests the author may be aware of or personally experienced a highly emotional situation.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. It is an emotional read; keep writing!

Sabaka

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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#1300305 by NightMaryann


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7
7
Review of Heaven  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi! I am reviewing your story: "Heaven" I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


Overall Impression:This story paints an idyllic picture of paradise on earth (or heaven).


Plot: Not well-dvevloped; I would like to know more about the lone human character.


Style and Voice: Creative; uses imagery well.


Scene/Setting: Very detailed scene description


Characters: One human, several animals, all well-dscribed and defined. This is a strength of this little story.


Dialog:None


Grammar and Mechanics:Several sentences are fragments; grammar, syntax and punctuation need attention. Nothing that another read-through would not catch.


Suggestions:Proof-read and watch possessive's - for example: "a lackadaisical young woman caramel alluring body.." should be "a lackadaisical young woman's caramel alluring body…"

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

I will be glad to review and rate your story again if you make changes. Please let me know. I think this is a great start!

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!


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8
8
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello...

I can visualize walking in the bright full moon light and the philosophical analogy of that light illuming a soul, bringing sight to our blind eyes and health to our cheeks , opening our eyes and ourselves to the world is deep. Lovely prose.

My only suggestion os to close or eliminate the bracket at the beginning of the paragraph, simply not to detract from your lovely words!

Twila


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9
9
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there!

I like this concept. It works for me with my parents sometimes. I think the last thing we are thinking about in the evening often ends up in our dreams in some way.

The pull of longing and pathos and wondering is evident in this short freeform poem.

Sweet dreams!

Twila


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10
10
Review of Winter's Touch  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your poem "Winter's Touch" .


Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE:Your title says it all; nicely done!

IMAGERY: imagery on every line throughout poem.

RHYMING & REPETITION:No repetition; slant rhymes, perhaps?{/font

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Short poem in Brevve style without Brevee format.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:None

OVERALL IMPRESSION: As I sit here on this cold day it is an apt description of winter, which I throuoghly appreciate.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!


Sabaka

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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11
11
Review of Mother's Love  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your poem "Mother's Love.


Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Appropriate to the content

IMAGERY: Minimal use of imagery to describe a mother's love; this is a strong line "I was the tree giving you food, shelter, love and care" is very descriptive.

RHYMING & REPETITION:No rhyming or repetition.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Freeform poem

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: This poem suffers heavily from the use of text message abbreviations. For example, "U" should be properly spelled "you"; "ur" is not acceptable in writing "your". Grammar, syntax and expression of thought struggle in many places

OVERALL IMPRESSION:The sentiments expressed in this poem are intense and deserve a better presentation. There is a mother's love, the struggles, conflicts and emotional pain of raising a child, the longing for a better life for the son and a desire not to be forgotten by him. The content is rich; I would be glad to revise the rating on this poem if some of the syntax and spelling problem areas were corrected.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!


Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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12
12
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there!

I am reviewing your poem "Artist's Touch".

Wow, is all I really have to say! Beautifully composed and creative poem.
Just wow!!

No grammar or syntax errors.

The imagery and artistry is stunning and each word flows to the next in perfect syncopation.

Did I say WOW??

One thought, but it may be a different spelling that is acceptable - pallet I think of as a wooden platform to hold things for loading or shipping; palette I think of as an artist's paint board. But this is minor.

Again - WOW.

Sabaka



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13
13
Review of My Name is Love  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dianne,

I've been perusing some of your writing. I tend to avoid dark genres but sometimes, the writing is so good, you just have to read on. You clearly have a gift.

The title is appropriate to the technique of personification. You capture the ups and downs of love well with good meter and eloquent praises and imagery. Rhyme scheme is a little tricky, but it works.

This is an engaging poem with no spelling or grammar or syntax errors. A reader can relate to this poem and the feelings it portrays; poem flows extremely well.

I truly enjoyed this!

Sabaka

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14
14
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there!

I am reviewing your monologue "You Can Go Home Again" - first draft.

The title grabbed my attention as I remember my brother's work regarding this. Yours, however, reaches to a deeper level, taking inspiration from the works of Thomas Wolfe, distinguished novelist.

You present a compelling argument and paint a good memory of home as the place we always long to be. Your words suggest this is a lifelong desire. These lines have an instantly felt emotional punch to the gut: "Home embraced its native son and guided my steps down every well-worn path, street, and sidewalk." and "...Home is calling me to come home".

Your thoughts on this pull, this longing, immediately brought to mind that we are, in this respect, like the salmon swimming upstream to spawn at their birthplace. They do return to their home for their species' most important life event - birth.

My suggestions for improvement would be to clean up a few typos here and there and perhaps space between the paragraphs.

I enjoyed reading this and it reminded me of the shock and subsequent longing I experienced when I realized that I would never be able to go home again (after my parents passed). I had never considered that.

Write on!!

Sabaka




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15
15
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Edwina,

This is so beautiful and so sad! I don't really know how to review haiku, but this is touching. The loss of a pet is never easy. I like that you captured the Rainbow Bridge concept with three words. Clearly this was an unexpected and heartfelt loss for all.

Beautiful poem with 5-7-5 rhyme scheme, haiku form.

Condolences on your loss and congrats on this lovely tribute!

Twila
(Sabaka)


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16
16
Review of The Haven  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Jay,

I am consistently overwhelmed and impressed by the depth of your expression and the new heights of creativity that you reach.What a pleasure to read such a creative tome!

Taking Poe's poem and re-creating a homage to Election Day is brilliant! Your expression and depth of knowledge along with your fluency of expression comes through. Thank you for capturing this historic event with such incredible depth of emotion and description.

Write on!

Sabaka

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17
17
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Colors WDC Power Raid Review!!

The title of this poem enticed me; I can relate to all of the activities you describe so well!! I love the freeform approach to this; it almost has a child-like chant rhythm to it, like "one potato, two potato" and other silly rhymes we said as children.

Great use of imagery evoking warm memories!!

Write on!

Sabaka

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18
18
Review of The Red Sunset  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Colorful Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your poem "The Red Sunset".


Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE:Enticing, subtle reference to poem's content. I like it!

IMAGERY:Vivid descriptions

RHYMING & REPETITION:None

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM:Freeform poem; nonet poem form.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:None

OVERALL IMPRESSION:I loved the lightness and warmth this poem conveyed at the same time, not to mention the flirty coyness:)

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!


Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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19
19
Review of True Blue  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Colorful WDC Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your poem "True Blue".


Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Appropriate to content of poem.

IMAGERY: I could follow easily his growth from child to man and the love for flag and country through the writer's descriptions.

RHYMING & REPETITION: Follows a bd rhyme scheme; no repetition.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Has good metered rhythm.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: The first line of first stanza, maybe; I wondered if the first word is a typo and should read 'he' instead of 'we'? Otherwise, the phrasing is a bit awkward.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Loved this poem. As I had a parent, aunt and father-in-law in service, I appreciate the sentiments expressed


Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!


Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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20
20
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Susan,

I love it!! Great revision....I think you captured the essence of what you wanted to, included more descriptors/imagery and it flows like water in a babbling brook:)

It is overall easier to read, does not feel titled and has good rhythm. You write free verse very well.

Enter it into the Shadows and Light Contest - I think that's the free verse one - if you don't have to conform to a prompt:)

Write on!

Twila
(Sabaka)


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21
21
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Sometime Somewhere".

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Appropriate to the content; title reflects intent of poem.

IMAGERY: Some descriptive imagery used.

RHYMING & REPETITION: None; freeform poem

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Freeform with almost consistent metric pattern.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: For some reason to me this poem feels stilted and awkward; there is a lot of doublespeak going on in the last 3 stanzas. It seems as though you can't make up your mind with regard to the direction the poem should take. I think that if you used that "Or was never lost to be found" approach just once in the poem, it would be more effective, instead or repeating similar phrases at the end of the next two stanzas. Not sure if I am being clear here, but I think this poem has possibility and I understand that you want to make the point that "love [is] misplaced but never lost". No grammar or syntax errors noted.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Freeform poem expressing the ups and downs of a relationship, perhaps a couple going through a difficult time, with the reassurance that love will surface again if you "believe in the possibility".

Thank you for letting me review this poem. It was an interesting read; keep writing!

Sabaka

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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#1300305 by NightMaryann


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22
22
Review of AB-AB Positive  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "AB-AB Positive".

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Appropriate to content of poem; fitting title.

IMAGERY: Consistent use of descriptive and technical words and terms.

RHYMING & REPETITION: None; acbd rhyme scheme.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Quatrain structure, good rhyming pattern and structure.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Just two picky things: give/receive I would change to give and receive; suggest changing A & B to A, B or A and B.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Technically correct little poem about matching blood types, a very important task!, with poetic and moral analogy cohesively concluding the poem. This poem is one of the best I have read and your style is quite easy and enjoyable to read. I believe you have a gift.


Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


GROUP
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#1300305 by NightMaryann


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23
23
Review of Mirror math  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi there!

This pice, as you noted, needs more work. However, you have touched on deep concepts here. I would be happy to review this again once you have separated the paragraphs and run-on sentences. Spacing between ideas would be helpful to a reader as well.

I look forward to reading this again!

Thank you for letting me review this piece!

Sabaka

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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24
24
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! I am reviewing your story: "Valley View Debutante Ball". I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


Overall Impression: I could see this as being the opening for a "who did it" type of novel or novella. I enjoyed reading this and thought is was just the right length. Also, I appreciated the spacing between paragraphs; it's much easier on the reader's eye and helps consolidate the thoughts in each one.


Plot: Introduction of a debutante is the setting for petty crime.


Style and Voice: Simple, folksy, perhaps of an earlier era; conversational.


Scene/Setting: Not really well described beyond the name of the location. The reader must deduce from other clues that this is an upscale event at likely an upscale location or a large home (manor).


Characters: Well-defined in first few paragraphs.


Dialog: Minimal but fits with the story.


Grammar and Mechanics: The only thing I saw was that "lallygag" is usually spelled "lollygag". Your spelling is considered acceptable I believe as it is identified as a variant.


Suggestions: Perhaps continue to develop this as a story or novel.


Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!


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25
25
Review of Midnight Oceans  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Midnight Oceans".

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Appropriate to the content; title has a contrasting hook - midnight and oceans.

IMAGERY: Consistent use of descriptive and imaginative words.

RHYMING & REPETITION: "Cobalt waves" and "deep darkness" repeated every other verse and both in final stanza; aba rhyme pattern.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Primarily tercet/triplet form with final quatrain -style verse abaa rhyme scheme.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Consider the use of color or italics with repeated lines for added visual emphasis.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Lovely poem painting word pictures of the ocean in the dark; one can almost hear the rhythmic swoosh of the waves and visualize the interplay of color. No grammar or syntax errors noted. An enjoyable read.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Four time Quill winner!
#1300305 by NightMaryann


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