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209 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of Randoms by Rach  
for entry "One Year On..." 
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Congratulations on your stellar accomplishments. I can only aspire to be half as prolific! Well deserved accolades!!

Twila
Sabaka


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27
27
Review of Beyond the Blue  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

Powerful story that left me guessing until the end. Well done. This description found most intense and it struck a resonant chord with me :

"I was digging, clawing away at ruins of a past relationship gone wrong. I was uprooting connections that no longer kept me vibrant. By all definition, I was a river poured out. Sometimes that is the perfect way to be in order to fill up again with greater things."

Enjoyable read!

Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Newbies Academy Group


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28
28
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I've been reading through your portfolio and I especially like your piece titled "As I was thinking...are we all sensible". Your comparison to time as money in a bank account is very interesting. I never thought of it that way. What a great concept!

I will share this with my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) who is having a hard time. She misses him so much. Hopefully it will bring her some understanding of how to get through each day.

You ask a lot of questions in your writings - you are thinking very deeply, spiritually and philosophically. Thank you for sharing your work!

Keep on writing!

Sabaka


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29
29
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Young Adult WDC Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your poem "The Children of Now". I found this through a Young Adult genre search.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: {font:comic }Your title and description are consistent to the poem's theme.

IMAGERY: One phrase I liked in particular was "...peaceful breeze".

RHYMING & REPETITION: Rhyming scheme is inconsistent. Minor repetition of the word "maybe" does not detract from the poem.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Five verse poem with five lines in each verse. No clear metric pattern. A few minor formatting errors most likely due to XML unfamiliarity. Font could be larger; it is difficult to read. Spacing issues probably also due to XML. No punctuation between lines.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Add punctuation to aid the reader in appreciating the writer's words. Poem needs consistent metric rhythm.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Really enjoyable poem as far as content and sentiment, easy to read and full of hope. I enjoyed the thoughts in this poem and appreciate the writer's comments reminding us that children are our future.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!


Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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30
30
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Young Adult WDC Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your poem "The Night Before Finals Week". I found this through a Young Adult genre search.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Your title is very catchy, a nice take-off on the Christmas poem and your description adds an additional explanation about the poem.

IMAGERY: The reader can easily visualize students cramming for finals, downing coffee and becoming stressed over their grades.

RHYMING & REPETITION: End rhyming poem with aabbccdd, etc. rhyme scheme.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Four stanza poem with quatrain structure has fairly consistent rhythm.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Poem would be improved with a more consistent metric rhythm.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is an entertaining and enjoyable poem about the stress of finals week with a creative ending line. It made me smile; I start school on Tuesday.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!


Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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31
31
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello!

I am reviewing this was part of the WDC Young Adult Power Raid. Having said that, I must tell you that I've never reviewed a quiz before.

However, after reading through this, I can see that it is quite complete, the title describes this perfectly, though I would quibble with the description as there are more than a few questions!

I tried answering some questions and realized quickly that this quiz is for serious Harry Potter fans and followers - truly a dedicated group!

One of the nice features of this page is that it does contain questions about other characters including Dumbledore and Hagrid as well as Harry's friends and foes.

Very well done and quite creative!

Write On!

Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers


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32
32
Review of "Lost Time"  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Young Adult WDC Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your poem "lost Time". I found this through a Young Adult genre search.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Your title aptly describes the theme of your poem and your description supports your poetic thoughts.

IMAGERY: Your poem uses imagery sparingly but it is effective when used. For example, "....the world (has) always been a big piece of cake".

RHYMING & REPETITION: Consistent end-rhymes in aabbcc, etc. style. No repetition.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Five quatrain poem with consistent iambic hexameter rhythm.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: There are some minor syntax and grammar errors; for example, "my dreams....was..." should be "my dreams ....were...".

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Sweet nostalgic poem looking back over life with some regrets; has good rhythm and rhyme structure with reflective thoughts while relating this tale.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!


Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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33
33
Review of Fear is Real  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Young Adult WDC Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your story "Fear is Real". I found this through searching the Young Adult genre. .

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

Title: Your title suggests that story is about fear as an emotion as does your description.

Plot, Characters, Scene: Fairly well-developed characters, setting and scene. Main character is struggling with every teenager's dilemma - parental expectations versus peer and sibling pressure.

Suggestions: No grammar or syntax errors noted.

Overall Impression: This strikes me more as a story of realizing how choices affect actions and ultimately understanding the consequences of those actions more than a story about fear.

Final Thoughts: Interesting story about choices and the consequences of acting or not acting on those choices. The character struggles with his decision to study to improve his already good grades or to go with his friends or play with his sister. There is a moral in this story.

Write on!

Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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34
34
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Young Adult WDC Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your story " Zera Gets the Stone". I found this through searching the Young Adult genre.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

Title: Your title is a clue to the content of the story and the description is another clue.

Plot, Characters, Scene: There is enough information to tell that someone was injured, but not enough description to not feel as though I dropped into the middle of a story where I was expected to know the characters, setting, scene and situation.

Suggestions: The story is inviting enough to read through to the end but feels very unfinished.

Overall Impression: Short story that describes a moment in a fantasy story that leaves the reader a little lost and wanting to know more.

Final Thoughts: This is a good beginning for a series of stories or an expanded story. There were no grammar or syntax errors noted. Plot and characters are underdeveloped but content is rich and promising.

Write on!

Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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35
35
Review of Firefly-Waterfall  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Young Adult WDC Power Raid Review.

I'm reviewing your poem "Firefly-Waterfall". I found this through a Young Adult genre search.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Your title evokes David-Goliath type of imagery and your description matches the poem content.

IMAGERY: Your words describe opposite character traits.

RHYMING & REPETITION: End-rhyming couplets compose this 8 verse poem. No repetition.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Fairly consistent metric rhyming pattern in couplet form without any punctuation until the last line, giving it the feel of one long run-on question.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: I liked the whole poem but thought that the very last verse fell a little flat compared to the rest of the poem. The poem would benefit from a more consistent metric pattern as well as punctuation to guide the reader.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Observant, introspective poem analyzing opposite character traits.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!


Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


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36
36
Review of Stacy's Poem  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Young Adult WDC Power Review.

I'm reviewing your poem "Stacy's Poem. I found this through a Young Adult genre search.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Suggest the poem is dedicated to or about someone named Stacy.

IMAGERY: Minimal but focuses on using the metaphor of broken glass in several ways throughout the poem.

RHYMING & REPETITION:Poem initially starts with abbc rhyme structure but changes to various rhyme patterns. While not a particular phrase, there is frequent reference to broken glass, pieces of glass, shards of glass throughout.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: Six stanza quatrain style poem that has metrical moments but no consistency to the rhythm.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Develop consistent rhythm and rhyming pattern.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: A quatrain style poem that describes a struggle with depression and how someone's behavior and words can literarily cut another person is fraught with tension, sadness, despair and longing.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!


Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.~~Robert Frost


** Image ID #2071848 Unavailable **


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37
37
Review of Plate Tectonics  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

You are the lucky recipient of a Young Adult WDC Power Review.

I'm reviewing your story "Plate Tectonics". I found this through a Young Adult genre search.

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

Title: Your title caught my eye and I decided to read further. Your description fits the story.

Plot, Characters, Scene: Composed in the first person with enough descriptive detail that it was easy to picture a house, a collectible room, toys, the stairs and the tree house.

Suggestions: More descriptive information about you/ the main character, why you are in the house you grew up in, where are the other occupants, what your feelings are about this visit would enhance this short story.

Overall Impression: It is a peek, a vignette, into a special moment in your life. The use of the ring as a literary device is creative. There is a sense of nostalgic longing that is not quite developed.
I really liked this story and wanted to read more. The reader will read to the last word.

Final Thoughts: Short story that suggests nostalgia and memories that are grating at times leading to a desire to remember happier moments in the treehouse.

Write on!

Sabaka
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Starting Over  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Starting Over".

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Defines the content of the poem well; description tells me which contest this is for and I find that helpful.

IMAGERY: Imagery is used sparingly but is effective when used. The reader feels the poet's frustration. Creative concept for a poem - writing about writing.

RHYMING & REPETITION: Poem is composed of 6 stanzas that have good aba end rhyme patterns with the last line repeating the "starting over" concept in varied wording with no matching rhyme.

RHYTHM,STRUCTURE & FORM: A 6 stanza poem with fairly consistent rhyme scheme of syllabic tetrameter alternating with syllabic trimeter and the last line of each stanza consistently syllabic heptameter.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: There are no punctuation marks on any lines which gives the poem the feel of one long run-on sentence. This poem has fairly good metrical rhythm, but is too long with good content to not have any punctuation signposts for the reader. Punctuation works to the writer's advantage as it offers the reader an opportunity to pause and appreciate the poet's words.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Metered poem about writing struggles and frustration which flows nicely with no grammatical errors but lacks appropriate punctuation. I enjoyed this poem and could relate to the idea of writing about writing, and visualize the "draft twenty-two".

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

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39
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Review of Me and my quest  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Me and my quest".

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Descriptive of a search for a prize to change a life or an individual's quest to understand life.

IMAGERY: No use of imagery.

RHYMING & REPETITION: Has an aabb rhyme scheme; no repetition of phrases.

RHYTHM, STRUCTURE & FORM: A simple poem with end rhyming scheme close to sonnet in structure (has 15 lines) and form. (A sonnet typically has 14 lines).

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: While punctuation is always a debate, I feel that correctly capitalizing certain words is a must - for example, the pronoun "I" is always capitalized wherever used. Adding some commas or semi-colons or periods will guide the reader as to where to pause and should not impede the flow of the poem.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: A simple poem with end rhyming scheme suggesting a search for the holy grail.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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40
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Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! I am reviewing your story: My Journey to Becoming a Writer. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression: Autobiographical description of the writer's journey with information about why he chose this craft, as well as experiences that suggested the craft was evolving from an internal instinct that was always present.

Style and Voice: First person, comfortable and easy read that is relatively fast-paced and consistently informative. I really enjoyed reading about your journey and felt inspired. Your enthusiasm and determination is felt throughout the story.

Grammar and Mechanics:No errors noted

Suggestions:None

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!


Sabaka



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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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41
41
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello!

I've never rated an app before so I'm not sure how to go about this. I downloaded this and played with it; it has promise. I'm not sure how this integrates with the main board on writing.com or why the display area doesn't change from being grayed out to the color and font format I pick. For example, bold and teal. I can see the change in the programming but not the actual color.

I think this is a great idea and hope to do another review after I've had a chance to try it out a little. I'm running WIndows 10, had no trouble with the install and it does seem to be running correctly.

And no, I didn't read the instructions yet - but I will!
Great job!

Sabaka
GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell
42
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Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Mountain Made of Steam".

Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your poem! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

TITLE: Simple, not really reflective of the poem content. Description aroused my curiosity enough to read further.

IMAGERY: Writer makes liberal use of imagery but it sometimes feels clichéd.

RHYMING & REPETITION:Interesting format in that there are rhymes within some lines as well as end rhymes. Occasional word repetition within individual lines.

RHYTHM:No identifiable meter; has as few as 4 syllables per line up to 18 syllables per line.

STRUCTURE & FORM:A poem written in sonnet form of 14 lines with no identifiable rhythm. Perhaps a freeform sonnet?

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Maybe a more descriptive title - have been pondering this and suspect you are trying to describe the steaminess / storminess of the relationship and your ending line suggests that it is still "hissing", with the body of the poem describing the eruptive tumultuous end. Maybe something like simply "Discordant Eruption"? I am unfamiliar with the song you reference so your title does not connect for me.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: A poem about loss and the feelings experienced is expressed in sonnet format with lines containing internal rhymes. The title does not really relate to the poem, but clearly has meaning to the writer. Although this poem is vague in structure and form, it is descriptive of emotional turmoil. I could relate to this poem from the perspective of a recent loss. My favorite part was the last line - when one is sad, one wonders why anyone else is still happy:) Nicely stated.


Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


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43
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Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi! I am reviewing your story: "My Aunt is Bonkers".
I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


Overall Impression: I found this story featured in the Noticing Newbies Newsletter of 1/06/2016. It was easy to read and the reader will read to the last word. The title captured my interest and the opening sentence referencing the board game "Clue" was creative. The storyline progresses logically but the reader is caught off-guard by the writer's last thought in a quasi-humorous manner. The writer unintentionally (or maybe not) answers her own question - "Sometimes I wonder why I greed to watch her" with her last comment. Well-done!

Plot: Short but well-developed plot line.

Style and Voice: This story is composed in the first person in letter format as a diary entry.

Scene/Setting: Not really developed but enough detail for the style of story.

Characters: Easy to discern - a niece and her Aunt, described as having some mental instability coupled with a vivid imagination.

Dialog: A few partial quotations are contained within the story. No dialog between characters.

Grammar and Mechanics: No major grammar or syntax errors noted.

Suggestions: None.


Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!


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44
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Review of Unspoken  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Unspoken".


TITLE: The title caught my attention and is appropriate to the poem theme.

IMAGERY: Imagery is used in the first stanza well - "Words softer than a featherbed, Gentle as a spring breeze sigh."

RHYMING & REPETITION: The poem has an abab rhyme scheme; no repetition.

RHYTHM:Poem has between 5 and 9 syllables per line; last verse 8-6-8-6 syllables. Rhyming pattern similar to tetrameter/tri-meter rhythm.

STRUCTURE & FORM:Quatrain style metered rhyming poem.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: No grammar or punctuation or syntax errors noted. Poem does flow nicely overall.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Refreshing poem about the perils of the unknown in a relationship written analogous to setting out on a sea journey. The ending was a bit of a surprise, perhaps a bit dark, however, I believe the writer intended to leave it up in the air (no pun intended). ("But joy found end in a hangman's rope, Are we to find the same?")

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

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Review of Green  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Green".


TITLE: The title is short and simple. The description of a freeform poem with metaphors is accurate.

IMAGERY: Used well in first two lines of poem, not too much imagery used after the opening lines.

RHYMING & REPETITION:No rhyming, no repetition.

RHYTHM: No clear metric pattern; syllable counts per line range from 5 to 10.

STRUCTURE & FORM: Centered freeform poem logical in progression without any punctuation signposts for the reader.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Consider breaking this into verses or stanzas and add punctuation to indicate the end of a thought and/or encourage the reader to pause and reflect. Try to maintain a consistent rhythm.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Interesting poem encouraging exploration that is logical in progression but lacks punctuation, consistent meter and verse separation. I like the center format for this poem and I like the content. The writer ties this together nicely at the end - "But the best treasure of all will be finding yourself". Nice philosophy to live by.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

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Review of Jisei  
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is very intense and sad. I understand that this is a form of Japanese poetry, a type of haiku, that is written when one realizes one is going to die. I hope that is not the case with your poem.

My favorite part is the last two lines - the concept of the wind erasing all traces of the shell also suggests an image of being scattered in all directions by the wind.

For a short poem, it packs a sorrowful and powerful punch!

I enjoyed this.


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47
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Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Dancing on the Lane".


TITLE: Creative use of imagery and enticed me to read further. Description is accurate to the poem.

IMAGERY: Good use of imagery to describe the to and fro dance of romance and love.

RHYMING & REPETITION: Poem generally has anaabb rhyming patter and uses repetition to introduce a new suitor.

RHYTHM:Has between 6 and 11 syllables per line, three 16-18 line stanza and one 8 line closing stanza.

STRUCTURE & FORM: does not adhere to standard structure or form, but this poem flows well.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Consider shorter verses and a more consistent rhyming pattern.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: This poem is light with an undertone of sadness, uses creative imagery to describe feelings of love and romance and the dissolution of relationships. The reader will read to the last word. I related to this poem as I wrote a piece of prose entitled "for a dance..." about a fleeting romantic interlude and pictures you painted with your words reminded me of that time.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

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48
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "How To Change The World".

TITLE: The title captured my interest and the description enticed me to read further.

IMAGERY: Imagery used sparingly but is effective in the poem when used.

RHYMING & REPETITION: No rhyming phrases or repetition found.

RHYTHM: Poem has a lyrical quality with 10 syllable line repeats.

STRUCTURE & FORM: Poem is freeform style of 16 lines with no stanza or verse separations.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Commas and periods and/or semi-colons would help the reader know where to pause. They would offer a moment for appreciation and reflection on the philosophical approach to change the writer proposes. Consider centering the poem and decreasing the line spacing or separating into verse/stanza format. The word "elephants" does not need to be capitalized. Missing grammatical signposts:)

OVERALL IMPRESSION: I enjoyed this piece; it has a lyrical quality that I can not quite adequately describe but do appreciate. The last line is especially effective. The poem asks questions that are particularly relevant at this point in time and challenges the reader to take an active first step. Well-done.

Please remember that what I say is only my opinion. You are the best judge of what is right for your work.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

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Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!

I'm reviewing your poem "Old Women and Death".

TITLE: The title is catchy and arouses curiosity.

IMAGERY: Fairly good use of imagery - "passion red of cardinal on the wing".

RHYMING & REPETITION:No rhyme or repetition found.

RHYTHM: No consistent rhythm.

STRUCTURE & FORM:This piece is composed in stanzas / verses but is freeform and would work better as a short story or prose.

SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: Change format to short story or prose. Last line does not need the lead-in "pure as a conch shell's song..."; it has impact without it and adds more emphasis to the piece. Good ending choice.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Interesting perceptions of a person on the beginning edge of the aging spectrum not yet ready to embrace to inevitable but drawn into conversations with older contemporaries reluctantly on the subject of death.

Thank you for letting me review this poem. I enjoyed reading it; keep writing!

Sabaka

** Image ID #1939850 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1795159 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
50
50
Review by tucknits
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lynda,

Thank you for putting these thoughts on paper from someone who lost a relative on WDC. It is a beautiful tribute and I am grateful that you put into words what I struggled to do for my brother.
As our family comes to terms with this loss, they are voicing an interest in his writing. I am so grateful to WDC for keeping the portfolios available.

Poignant words - my favorite part: "Rest on beautiful people and know you will be missed by all".

Sabaka
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