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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ulrichbarbaros
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8 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Richard T. Clark
Rated: E | (4.5)
There is a good plot and setting, The characters are believable and realistic. The studer aids in making Andy's dialog authentic. The grammar could use a little work, but nothing major. Overall an excellent short story at such an age.
2
2
Review by Richard T. Clark
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A nice opening, you give some background on the main character, initiate the plot (I'm assuming catching the serial killer), and give detail linking the crimes together. It draws the reader into the story, which absolutely what you want the first chapter to do. I'm looking forward to developing more of a connection with the main character in chp 2.


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Ignorance is Bliss,
Knowledge is Depressing.


Facta Non Verba


English Wolves In Eire (Chp 1)  [13+]
Setting: 19th century, Ireland. Please leave feedback.
by Richard T. Clark
3
3
Review by Richard T. Clark
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good story. I do have one criticism, there is no climax. The story of whiskers life is indeed a fine tale, but nothing of incident (good, bad, or otherwise) happens when he finally gets what he's been yearning for (to go out alone). His parents felt he was ready, but was he? Was he scared, if so why? Was he disappointed be the lackluster of the experience, if so why, how? What did he do finally getting to be outside on his own that he couldn't, or wouldn't have done with parental supervision?

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Ignorance is Bliss,
Knowledge is Depressing.


Facta Non Verba

4
4
Review by Richard T. Clark
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Very poetic, and an excellent use of symbolism. The story has a dark depression, yet still manages to by funny in some parts, “I want to see that Generic Chick Flick movie with Madame Beautiful, Dr. Chiseled and Mr. Handsome in it!”. Very intriguing, I really enjoyed the read.

I have only one criticism, the dialogue seems a little unnatural. Not what is said but how it is said. I have some difficulty believing the characters speaking this way and, using these phrases.
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