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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/valerie_ortiz
Review Requests: OFF
27 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Pluto?  
Review by Valerie O
Rated: E | (4.5)
Interesting topic. I take it, you were following a specific poetry format. A sedoka perhaps? You did a great job with the syllables. And I agree, someone needs to make the final decision as to what Pluto is...children everywhere are failing science tests because of it *Smile*
2
2
Review by Valerie O
Rated: E | (5.0)
Cute! Your cat must love you! I wish I could just lay in bed and relax like that more often. I haven't done that in a while, but thanks for reminding me of how relaxing it can be. I don't see any errors, and I have no suggetions. Another job well done.
3
3
Review of Justice  
Review by Valerie O
Rated: E | (5.0)
Another well-written poem. I don't see any errors. Your descriptions painted a picture in my mind. My favorite part of the poem is line 5. There is detail, imagery, emotion, and personification all in one spot, that it could be a poem all by itself.
4
4
Review of The Haunt  
Review by Valerie O
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of: "The Haunt

Overall Impression:
Interesting

Spelling and Grammar:
I see no errors

Suggestions:
on the very first line, you could change loose to loosely and one to a. Remember, these are only suggestions.

Additional Comments:
I'm not sure if this was the impression you wanted me to have, but when I read this, I thought of werewolves.

Keep Writing!

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5
5
Review by Valerie O
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of: "Seasons of my life

Overall Impression:
Great topic for a poem

Spelling and Grammar:
I see no errors

Suggestions:
You don't have to, but consider rewriting this poem without any rhyming.

Additional Comments:
The rhyming was a little forced, but this is still a wonderful poem. I'm curious to read deeper into your life so if you decide to do what I suggested let me know. You've done a wonderful job!

Keep Writing!

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6
6
Review by Valerie O
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Review of: "From Pleasure to Pain

Overall Impression:
A very strong poem

Spelling and Grammar:
I see no errors

Suggestions:
none

Additional Comments:
I thought this poem was very interesting and definitely worth reading.

Keep Writing!

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7
7
Review by Valerie O
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of: "The Little Music Box

Overall Impression:
Great story!

Spelling and Grammar:
"Grandma why are you giving me all of this?"

Put a comma after grandma.

I searched around the room, on the left of me was a...

Replace the comma with a semicolon.

Suggestions:
none

Additional Comments:
You did a wondeful job.

Keep Writing!

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8
8
Review by Valerie O
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of: "No Rest For The Weary (my baby killdeer)

Overall Impression:
I like the subject you chose to write about

Spelling and Grammar:
I see no errors

Suggestions:
none

Additional Comments:
I'm not sure if killdeer should be capitalized. You might want to find out.

Keep Writing!

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9
9
Review by Valerie O
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of: "The Bakeshop Window

Overall Impression/Meeting the Prompt:
Great use of the prompt

Spelling and Grammar:
I see no errors

Active Writing:
Nicely done

Suggestions:
none

Additional Comments:
I love how you sound so inviting when you repeat "come in". I also loved how you saved "I am the bakeshop window" for the very end. Great Job!

Thank you for your submission. Smile
Keep Writing!


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~
Valerie O
Please note that I try and rate items via the guidelines in
"Comment-In-A-Box

Reviewed on behalf of the "Invalid Item
10
10
Review by Valerie O
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of: "Honeysuckle Dreams

Overall Impression:
Very well written

Punctuation and Grammar:
Just try to be consistant with punctuation.
Suggestions:
None

Additional Comments:
I loved the simile in the first sentence. And your word choice throughout the poem is wonderful. Everything pulls together beautifully.


Keep Writing!

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11
11
Review of Faded Hues  
Review by Valerie O
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review of: "Faded Hues

Overall Impression:
Very emotional
Punctuation and Grammar:
Try to have some sort of punctuaion on every line, possibly add more commas. Everything else looks good.
Suggestions:
None
Additional Comments:
A poem many can relate to, since it mentions slowly forgetting someone who has been lost.


Keep Writing!

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12
12
Review of A Precious Gift  
Review by Valerie O
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of: "A Precious Gift

Overall Impression:
A poem that all girls should read.
Punctuation and Grammar:
"Unbridled lust, make your heart melt" I'm not sure if make should be makes. Everything else looks good
Suggestions:
none
Additional Comments:
Great poem!

Keep Writing!

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13
13
Review by Valerie O
Rated: E | (5.0)
Here's a donation for your contest. I only wish I could give more. This contest helped me learn a lot when I started off here at WDC, so it holds a special place in my heart. I'm glad to see that it is still around, and hopefully more donations will keep it going.
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