I was left wanting. I like the piece, and I found myself wanting more from it. I like simple language, and I like the style of this piece. I think it shows good promise, and I would hope you could develop it just a bit to "flesh out" the narrator's perspective and give it a sense of urgency.
An honest thought that most of us can identify and agree with. I look at this and find my own failings and triumphs in black and white. I think we all need to be reminded on a regular basis that if this is what we want to do, the only way we will succeed is to actually do it. I like the way you brought up the fact that so few of our colleagues actually let us know what we're doing is even noticed, let alone appreciated. I've set a goal myself, thanks to reading your letter, and here it is...
I set up a blog that I will try to add to every day. In addition, I'll look out there for someone's writing to review at least twice weekly. Maybe if I give I'll receive some get.
Keep on writing. I will, and maybe we'll really start to set it all on fire soon.....
Your admiration and love for your mother are obvious in this piece. I would like to have seen an example of how she kept you on an even keel when you had strayed from being the good child (we all have). That might have strengthened the piece in my eyes, and given you an extra stanza to develop the emotion more completely. All in all, though, I really like it. It's well formed and provides a good insight into your feelings about motherhood in general.
Very touching. The tone is set well, and the structure of the writing draws the reader into the emotions felt by the writer. The only suggestion I would make, if I may, is indenting the beginning of each paragraph to make the transition from one idea to the next easier to organize in the mind. I really like this piece, and look forward to reading more of your work.
Absolutely dead on! I am glad to see someone put into words just how skewed our perspectives on beauty have become. There is no reason for us to look at any particular body type as good or bad, as acceptable or not acceptable. Working Mom, this is obviously a well-thought out piece, and your perspective is one that I feel more women have than dare to admit. I wish more women would be willing to write about the body-image issues that we have made a cultural curse for one and all. If we all begin to really understand that the human body is a shell for the spirit, maybe we'll begin to quit looking at it with judgments and accept one another for the being within. The conversational tone of this piece makes it easy to understand the viewpoint, and makes it flow very well. I love your ability to make me hear your voice as if we were standing face to face. BRAVA!
Such a simple thing as truth, so easily spoken, yet not so easily done for some. I really like this, and think it should be made into a mantra for us all. Quite simply one of the best short poems I've read in quite some time. Bravo, and well done. And TRULY smart people know that you always have to remember a lie, but you never forget the truth.
Descriptive without being overbearing, I can easily picture the scenes presented in this piece. I can't wait to see the next episode or chapter written on this.....
Just enough detail to hide the inevitable. A "delicious" ending! I love cats, but this was a perfect way to end one to make the story end as it should. Outstanding.
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