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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vexagrimwoe
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86 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to look at books as a box of chocolates; I never know what assorted goodness might be lurking within! I'll make sure to give a detailed explanation of what I enjoyed and also what I think needs improving. We all have our own voice in writing and I can't wait to hear yours!
I'm good at...
I like to make stories that really bring the reader into a character's shoes or just keep them immersed in the world within. I'm good at spotting mistakes and improving the clarity of the world in your story. I like to make the reader a part of the adventure!
Favorite Genres
I love reading fantasy and adventure stories because those really excite me! If you need help creating a believable fictional setting then I'm your gal!
Least Favorite Genres
I really don't think there's a genre I wouldn't read. I usually just take a random book off the shelf at the local library and give it a read.
Favorite Item Types
I love reading works of fiction because I want to jump into a new world and explore the greater depths.
Least Favorite Item Types
Non-fiction is not something I'll read because I find it boring. Don't worry, though! You'll find someone in this community skilled in reviewing non-fiction.
I will not review...
I don't review non-fiction because it's like homework and I've already finished school. Other than that, there's nothing I won't read!
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Retire Me  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very lovely! I liked how the poem flowed like the gentle waves of the sea. One thing I think you could improve on would be to clarify some aspects of the poem such as the lover the soldier is speaking of or the part about bathing in unending warmth. It's not important to fix such things though; you did great!
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2
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (4.0)
I can imagine reading this poem out as a slam poem or rap song. I enjoyed the flow of this piece and it has a few minor flaws that I can overlook because the flaws are based around my opinions towards content like this. I'm not fond of slam poetry but I do enjoy this work. I hope to read more from this author in the future.
3
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Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (3.0)
A very simple poem about mother nature. I enjoyed this because it was short and to-the-point. This poem wasn't complicated or hard to understand but there is room for improvement. I would like to see a poem like this use metaphors or similes but beyond that, it was good.
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Review by D. V. Alice
In affiliation with Vexa's Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very good poem that had amazing flow and was quite well-written. I couldn't see any flaws and I thought that this poem was a very sweet about love.

My favorite part was:

"So gentle and caring, you give me such strength,
You’re my life and my love, going with me at length"

I hope you keep up the great work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of When You're Near  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (4.0)
A wonderful poem which is quite enjoyable. I loved how well-written this piece was and it made me feel a tad emotional.

A lovely poem and one of the finest poems I've seen so far.

I loved this part most:

"When you’re far I try to fight
the thoughts of you inside my mind.
But when you’re far I realize that
within my thoughts you’re all I find."
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6
Review of Too many memories  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (3.0)
How good was the hook?:

The first sentence dragged me into the story and got me interested in reading more.

"Too many memories, boxes and boxes of them laying around a room that will soon no longer be his." is a really well-written hook.

What I liked most:

I liked how this story was written and I fairly enjoyed the story itself; several parts made me feel like reading more.

What I didn't like:

Several sentences were written incorrectly like:

"A young woman answered, she looked older and more women"

I couldn't understand this part and it threw me out of the story. I also saw a few grammatical errors in the story but I honestly don't mind that.


How to improve:

Your story is missing a few extra details that I thought could improve it.

Remember to ask yourself these questions:

- What does it look like?

- What does it sound like?

- What does it feel like?

- What does it smell like?

- What does it taste like?

- How can I describe it better?


Overall review:

A fairly nice story with a few flaws and lacking a bit of detail here and there. I thought it was good but it definitely can be improved.

Final rating:

I rate this story three stars out of five. This story can be improved and I hope you keep on writing. Don't let my review get you down.


Remember to email me if you have any further questions.
7
7
Review of Dark Rising  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
How good was the hook?:

Before I even read the first chapter, the story hooked me in right away and I was able to see where this story is headed.

The hook is what grabs the reader's attention and drags them in further and this hook was amazing.

What I liked most:

Everything. This story is outstanding already and I enjoyed the main character as she is well-written and I can relate to her. I was able to fully immerse myself in the story's world and I want to keep reading more!

What I didn't like:

I didn't like how some things were misspelled but perhaps 'vampyer' is an in-world term. I can easily forgive a typo or two so keep up the good work.

How to improve:

There's always room to improve but this story doesn't need much improvements. I really enjoy it and found barely anything that needs improvement.

Always remember to ask yourself these questions:

- What does it look like?

- What does it sound like?

- What does it feel like?

- What does it smell like?

- What does it taste like?

- How can I describe it better?


Overall review:

An amazing story that I really hope to read more of. I can see myself re-reading it when it's complete and I would definitely buy a copy of this story if it get's published someday.

Keep up the wonderful work!

Final rating:

I'm giving this 4 stars because it's not fully finished and the word 'vampire' is spelled as 'vampyer'.

I hope you keep writing this because I really enjoyed it.


Remember to email me if you have any further questions.
8
8
Review of Perspective  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is pretty good piece of work with very few flaws.

I enjoyed it but found it to be a bit short. If this was meant to be short then you did a good job at telling a short story in a very short way.

I hope that this contest entry makes it to the semi-final round because I believe that it is pretty good but missing just a few elements.

Don't get discouraged by my review. Keep on writing and you'll improve in no time. There's always room for improvement when it comes to writing.
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Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (3.0)
I fairly enjoyed this short story and found only a few main problems with this story.

The main character of this story is lacking in depth and personality. Try making the character a tad more relatable or give them a 'voice' in the story.

The plot seemed a tad rushed but then again, it was meant to be a short story and it delivered on that point.

I also was unable to really get immersed in this short story. Try to build the world around the characters and try not to only focus on the characters themselves.

One last problem, I saw that you used large paragraphs and that is an easy mistake to make. Large blocks of text can sometimes discourage people from reading. Try using the advanced editing tools provided to improve line spacing.

All-in-all, a good short read. Don't get discouraged by my review. Keep on writing and you'll improve in no time.
10
10
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was quite an interesting article. I believe that this was presented as a poem because poems have a way of immersing the reader into the work.

I enjoyed several parts of this poem and it was quite interesting to see something that delivered news in a poetic form.

I definitely enjoyed the concept and it was presented nicely.

I do hope to read more from you in the future.
11
11
Review of Never Giving Up  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this poem as it seems that you are quite determined to push back your depression and enjoy your life.

This poem was really well-written and I saw several parts that I truly loved about this poem.

Keep on writing and never let your depression hold you back.

You have a great talent.
12
12
Review of Sara and Mort  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I enjoyed this odd but endearing story. If this story was a larger series then I would continue reading through it as it got my attention with it's quirkiness.

I did think that this story could've had a little more creativity and attention to detail because I thought that a purple llama was just okay but if it was a strange creature I've never heard of and if you described it well then I'd be even more interested in reading further.

All-in-all, a good story.
13
13
Review of Crisps  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this well-written poem. I found it to be intriguing as I was sent into it's fantasy world.

Several parts are really good and I might read more poems from you in the future. I found no mistakes in this poem which is a plus.

All-in-all, a good read worth four stars.
14
14
Review of HalfCat  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (3.0)
A strange and short chapter that has an interesting hook to it. I might read more of this story in the future because the hook definitely made me want to read more. This chapter wasn't bad but I found:

"I mean sure, you could joke around and be like, dar, guys, I got kidnapped by a mad scientist this summer."

to be a little off-point with the commas.

All-in-all, a pretty neat idea.
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Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I enjoyed this first part in the series.

I found it a bit hard to read because of it being a massive block of text but I read on and I liked several parts. This story so far is well-written with few grammatical mistakes that are okay to leave in.

I hope to read the next part of this story when I have the time to.
16
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Review of "JOY"  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (4.0)
A pretty nice poem with barely any flaws. I found this poem to be well-written but I just am not personally fond of it. I find this poem a bit short but I like it a bit. I might check out your other works so if you want me to review anything else then you can request me to.
17
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Review of The edge  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (3.0)
"impact the direction of my thoughts in the power of thought. Got this! is bliss daily forward." is a confusing statement. I enjoyed a lot of this work but several places like this broke the immersion in the work. Not much to say other than I hope you keep on writing.

18
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Review of First Flight  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (4.0)
Haha! This short story made me laugh which isn't too hard to do but it's quite well-written. This short story is a tasteful and funny experience which I fully enjoyed. Quite short but also quite good. I see no room for improvement but I do wish that it was a tad longer. All-in-all a wonderful story.
19
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Review of lol is life  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (1.0)
This is quite short. Do you plan on continuing this?
20
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Review of #444  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (4.0)
An interesting start to a short story. Perhaps if the text was split into smaller paragraphs then you'd be able to get more people immediately interested as most people won't read large blocks of text. Pretty good story with only a few minor issues that I personally didn't enjoy but nonetheless a good read. I hope you keep writng.
21
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Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A dark but intriguing tale. I fully enjoyed reading about the protagonist's inner monologue and I only wish that there was a full story based around this character and the world they inhabit. I was interested in several things in this story but the atmosphere snared and entwined me in it's web of wonder and intrigue. A great read.
22
22
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (1.0)
I understood nothing of this fictional tale. There was plenty of things lacking from this 'story' such as environment and character development. Perhaps this was a failed attempt at humor and not meant to be a serious story. I found this story devoid of content worth reading but perhaps you can rewrite this poor story in the future
23
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Review of Emil's Guest  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This short story sent shivers down my spine. Absolutely chilling and yet, understated. I feel that the characters could've been a bit less plain and the world in this short story seemed to disappear into an abyss. My vision was clouded in this story but yet I enjoyed it.

Some improvements could definitely be made. Keep writing on.
24
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Review of Dream  
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed this short poem. This poem envelopes the feeling of reaching for the stars and following one's dreams. Quite a nice read but I wish it was a tad longer.

How can you improve on this? I see barely any room for improvement but I wish this poem rhymed a bit - Maybe include a metaphor or simile too.

I hope you keep writing.
25
25
Review by D. V. Alice
Rated: E | (5.0)
This wonderful story made me envision everything that was written in a way I fully enjoyed. A wonderful read, though quite lengthy. This story has the reader envision their surroundings in a marvelous way which makes them feel like they are actually there. I was fully immersed.
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