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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vidiaanne
Review Requests: OFF
21 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to focus on plots and how the story flows. If the content is good, it reads easily, and is well thought out, I will give 4.5-5 stars. If there are a lot of spelling or grammatical errors, I will address those along with my critique of the content. If I simply do not find the piece interesting enough to complete, I will let you know and give advice on how to capture attention more.
I'm good at...
I'm good at catching grammatical errors and giving informative and honest critiques. My critiques may be very long or very short. It all depends on how much I have to say about the material. I will not sugarcoat my opinions, but I am always respectful and encouraging.
Favorite Genres
fantasy, romance, magic, comedy, drama, historical fiction, poetry
Least Favorite Genres
horror, thrillers, anything involving death or possession and children.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really, thoroughly enjoyed this piece. I wasn't sure, at first, about the exact style of writing. I am a straight forward person, and typically like things to be in proper order. However, this was written in such a way that the style of writing served to capture my attention, instead of diverting it. Thank you for sharing this piece of intellectual and poetic discourse! Write on, my friend! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Me And Brad Pitt  
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Holy WOW!!!!!!! I couldn't stop reading! THIS is what would be defined as a page-turner, were there any pages to turn. I loved how each sentence was accompanied by their actual thoughts; it felt very realistic. This piece flows easily and is more than mildly entertaining. Great job, and keep up the good work!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of A Fall Day  
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
The descriptive imagery in this piece was very effective and beautiful. I could clearly envision the scene and circumstances. My only (slight) critique is that it reads a bit too much like a children's book for my personal tastes. Granted, it would be a GREAT children's book; One that I would actually read to my own kids. Keep up the good work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Abandoned  
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is very raw. I can definitely feel the pain of the author and empathize with the situation presented. The rhyming could be better, but, honestly, the content is the saving grace. With a little tweaking, this would be a wonderful, emotionally vulnerable piece. Well done, and keep up the good work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: E | (3.5)
Interesting... In the beginning, I had a scene from the movie Jumanji running through my mind. Probably just because of the reference to the 'wicked' monkeys. Irrelevant, but it was funny to me. :) I really liked this piece. It's very thought-provoking. My only complaint is that there isn't more! Great job!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
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Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: E | (5.0)
Absolutely AMAZING! I loved this piece! The one and only criticism I have is so minute, it barely matters. My thought was to remove 'or' from the 2nd verse, 2nd line. I just feel as though it would read smoother; the 'or' halts the reader's attention. As I said, minute; and an unsolicited personal opinion to boot. Keep up the great work!
7
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Review of The Light  
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: E | (4.0)
That was truly wonderful! Thank you for sharing! I'm not sure if you meant to have a comma in the second verse, but it reads better (for me anyway) without a pause there. Also I don't think you need a semicolon after 'granted'. It read great, though, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! You've definitely got a natural talent! Keep it up! :D
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Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: E | (2.5)
This was very informative; more so than entertaining. It seems it is, essentially, a list of facts, in paragraph form. Perhaps insert an opinion between a few of the facts. It may also behoove you to use a larger font, and double line spacing would be a plus. Other than that, I definitely learned something new, so good job!
9
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Review of Escape  
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
I think the sentiment of this story was beautiful. Unfortunately, it is full of grammatical errors and sentences structure issues that halt the reader's enjoyment of this piece. I really liked the overall tone, though it felt a little choppy. I would suggest looking carefully over it for grammatical errors, and maybe using compound sentences, instead of short to-the-point ones. I hope this helped! You definitely have a flair for writing, and the best way to get better is to keep at it! Good luck! :)
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Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This was very entertaining. It flowed very well, and was light and funny, but obviously very well thought out. This author definitely has a great amount of talent. The only critique I have is that I wanted more. When I got to then end, I felt it was too short. When I come across something as well written as this piece, I'm always hoping to be taken on a journey. This was more of a short trip. Avery good short trip, but a short trip nonetheless. Keep up the good work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
This is very well written. It seems like it got good direction and a solid plot. That being said, it just didn't grab my attention. I can see many other people thoroughly enjoying this story. It just isn't my favorite genre. That is just one opinion, and I'm sure someone who is more inclined to war stories and the like, would truly enjoy reading this. Good job. :)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
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Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like how raw this is. Its is complex simplicity. I always enjoy reading about the true feelings and emotions of real people. I, and many people, can relate to this work; yet it is personal. There is always a general audience, no matter what the genre, but there are very few people able to take their own true emotions and convey them in a relate-able way; as opposed to writing generically. In short, good job! :)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of Why?  
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked it. Straight and to the point, but with a flow and emotional rhythm. This shows promising talent. I'd love to read a story written by this author. Maybe write the story of what lead to this poem. I can tell there is a fierce bond between the author and the subject. It is intriguing and makes me want to find out what happened for these two people to have to fight so hard for their love. I want to know why their in love and the trials they've had to face, how they reacted and what the people in their lives did to make this couple feel like the had to fight to be together. Love is Love. Very good work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by Ayla Lyonne
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hahahaha! This was a very entertaining read. It took me a minute, even with the title, to realize what I was reading. Once I did, I was cracking up! Well written and very funny!
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