Some inner agony seems to tear her soul and spirit to smithereens. What could be the reason that caused a person to cry out silently to end the excruciating pain she seems to suffer from.
Loss or fear of loss appears to be the main cause for causing the indescribable pain.
Words of suffering dot the whole landscape of her mind.
Fear seems to hunt for her soul for some unknown cause.
My impressions-
Looks like a successful experiment with words, particularly of those to do with loss and pain and fear.
This is roughly the image of a person gripped by fear and helplessness. The author concentrates on inner conflict for no justified reason.
It could hallucinations that haunt her life and soul, day and night.
For those who are tortured by fear and a sense of loss, prayer is the best medicine as well as meditation to calm down the torn nerves.
Free style poem in which the poet confesses what went wrong and he is ready now to redeem his ways.
Lines are short yet expression is clear.
Edit-
"There was someone
That touch me"
(There was someone
That touched me)
as you have used past tense.
It is a praiseworthy effort to realize the wrong and correct it.
I like the poem because it conveys a message that it always feels better to admit to a fault and express the wish to do it the right way, the second time.
"I chose the common path when
The path less traveled would have suited better"
Truly shocking!
The terrible beast is brought alive in this poem,
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this occasion.
Have a wonderful day!
The mythological beast of terror Kraken is painted in frightening images. I could see him coming awake and descending on the poor man to be dragged underneath.
He brought awake a sleeping creature much to his sorrow.
"As a tree trunk thick tentacle
Climbed over the rocks"
I like the perfect description of the man's fear.
"He lay gripped with terror"
Hi,
there is life's philosophy in this poem.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day.
I could see through your dilemma whether to say yes or no to the questions posed.
We are verily an amalgam of good and bad, half devil half divine. Incomplete, imperfect and very human.
"walking amongst the Beauty and the Curse."
True we are never good at knowing ourselves, so we can't say ...
This inner conflict is well brought out showing our inability to define ourselves.
Hi LisaMarie,
this is a short piece, yet profound.
I got it from your port to review for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a nice day!
This story is relevant in our present world. Unnumbered girls fall for suave talk and false attention. Once their need is over, these girls are discarded pronto.
Your character is shown realistically. You conveyed a convincing message through the way in which she recovered from a shocking discovery of her evil-minded paramour. It is a healthy way to recover and find roots again instead of being bogged down by an unpleasant past.
Hi Rick,
this is a touching story about the bond between father and child.
I found it in your port and I couldn't resist reviewing it for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day.
Characters-
Both characters are well defined.
You have done well showing the father's pain at his cancer ridden four-year-old daughter.
" he had laughed with a tightened chest and choking in his throat."
The young daughter is naturally shown. Too innocent and sweetly unaware of the serious situation.
"“Well not the red ones Daddy, they're the prettiest ever!”,
The appearance of red leaf in the car is credibly shown. The reader feels like suspending disbelief.
I find this short inexplicably moving, perhaps because he is so concerned about her while she has other plans.
You used minimum words, yet the reader could fill in between the lines.
To me, it also conveys the mysterious working of the mind mechanism. Out of nothing, plans emerge no matter how much they hurt the others.
Perhaps, I am reading too much into it.
The title-
It is the title that makes me conclude that the wife is ready say goodbye, for some reason. Boredom? Looking for change?
Dialog captures my imagination.
Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
I just read your article Becoming Human: The Evolution of Walking Upright and I am impressed. This topic is new to me and left me wondering why I never thought about it. You have convincingly rationalized as to "why bipedalism evolved".
Your lucid explanation as to why arms were longer than legs caused me to see the way they were more tree-bound rather than living on ground.
Another important difference you have brought to focus is the evolvement between male and female of the species. Interesting facts with a logical analysis.
The age-old practice of women caring for home and kids and men taking care of their basic needs is still relevant to many societies and even countries. I think there is logic in this practice at least till quite sometime ago.
This is an appealing composition for a number of reasons.
I have chosen this free style poem from your port to review for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this milestone occasion.
Have nice free day!
What makes it attractive for me is your examples of freedom from nature. Indeed, where else can you find this joyous freedom except in nature! Every single element and animal lives in freedom. They are born free and remain so till the end. Therefore, it is no surprise for me that you want to follow the footprints of nature and live like the examples shown.
The shackles that bind us should not curtail freedom for us too. How wonderful it would be to be free in mind especially! even the "harshest storms" could be crossed with the pure intent of true freedom.
Imagery from nature appeals to my eye and mind.
Lines are rhythmic and flow well.
Hi,
your nonfiction story reminded me of my experience of opening an account back in '92. I was a complete new comer to the computer. I was keen to learn how to work on computer because both my sons are good at it and I didn't want to be left behind. Also, I wanted to type my thesis on Word.
I actually joined an institute later on to learn methodically.
In your case, it was your mom who helped you create an account, that you changed from time to time. This too is fun.
I could see the fun and excitement of a thirteen-year-old creating and deleting accounts for different reasons.
glad you finally found an appropriate username to your satisfaction.
Hi,
it is a pretty vocal script on your father. I don't see you addressing him. You referred to him as a third person.
Let's call it something like "letting out my feelings" or something similar.
Yes, sometimes we find criticism quite hurting, especially from a parent. It is quite possible that he or she is just letting out steam because of their own work problems or some other bothersome issues.
However, my sympathies are with you. You can't do much rebelling under the circumstances. Just wait for the right moment to be freed of daily torture.
It is decent on your part to take vehemence and uncalled for hostility good naturedly instead raising a ruckus.
Blood bonds run quite deeply indeed.
few memories remain with us, especially of preteens. Your comparison of them with fire flies is apt and appropriate. They stick to the mind, keep flashing despite the unpleasant taste.
I remember certain events involving arguments and fierce irreparable exchange of harsh words among my family members. It was a joint family.
What little you remembered, you brought it to paper with clarity and it struck me as honest recording of summer memories.
That the child's mind is extra sensitive on certain occasions is proved regarding the incident in the car. The incident brought home to the reader your innocence and her experience in understanding it. Kids are not a joke. Their perception is surprising. You also recall your father's state of mind, as many of us do in our own lives.
River's end is the end of sorrow.
This is eloquently stated in this free style poem.
My review here is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations and have a wonderful day.
Format is attractive as the content itself.
This is the story of how the person in the poem overcame loss, grief and "unfortunate things" to cite a few.
The destination of a flow of water is to find its source of union.
The very first line bring in the analogy between human life and a river. It flows through several ups and downs to reach the eternal and steady ocean. It makes sense to see life going through trials to finally find its own peace giving solutions or compromises.
I am reminded of Bertrand Russell's essay on Happiness.
It flows well with fine imagery showing desirable progress in life.
Hi,
this story takes me along. its visuals are telling and there is an air of reality around it.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this important occasion.
Have a pleasant day.
Feelings are shown quite naturally. This could happen in real life. The farm boy visiting the local store to shop in. The lady running the store appears young and emotional with her recent past. So does Daniel, who suffered loss too. Sounds sentimental.
Much against their reluctance, they could feel the pull of inexplainable attraction and wish to linger on.
Nice to read a seasoned writer, whose expression of emotions is real, transparent and natural.
Great nonfiction story. I agree with you that these collected items over the years serve as the "data bank of emotional strength." A profound description of the safely kept antiques. The metaphor fits like a glove.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this nice occasion.
Have a wonderful day.
The collection must be marvelous judging by the pictures you have shown. No way to give them up.
The essay is full of relevant observations of the situation faced by the seniors, once they lose mobility and mental alertness.
I think that it is no longer considered an indignity to be placed in a home for the aged. True that there are certain things they miss. But come to think of it, they have company and they have a common dining room and a lounge to watch movies and read at will.
In India, where I come from, elderly parents voluntarily check into the senior homes because they know that there will always be help if needed.
I have enjoyed the article very much not only because of the relevant topic but also because of the spontaneous flow of language and a telling style.
So many things of beauty are lost due to indifference and gross carelessness.
This happens every so often that it is taken for granted.
It calls for sensitivity and understanding to view and value every "single strand" that passes through the cracked window of life.
Hi,
I am Jaya and my review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this cheerful occasion.
Have a great day!
The Bird at the end of the poem seems to symbolize that rare person who is urged to pick up rare things of life.
This poem moves at a pace that is thoughtful and observant of the missing things of life.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you celebrate the occasion.
Have a wonderful day.
No wonder Earth is addressed as the "Supreme Mother" in some cultures. Some have temples to worship her love for all beings living on her.
What is ironic is the fact that despite knowing her vital life giving role, man betrays her and uses her for his selfish goals.
Life could be much more healthy and happy if we keep her clean as she was when God created her.
Lines are well composed.
Images of earth are visual.
Rhyming and rhythm are effective.
Simultaneously simple and profound.
I can see the killing cycle repeating day after day.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this occasion.
Have a nice day.
The poem is in free style form.
It shows the poet's hard working routine at the Psychiatrist's clinic.
It is both tiring and monotonous.
But options are few.
so one must make the best of what is available. Cheer up!
"Your body needs repair
Your in despair"
Indeed, life is so cruel.
It flows well with visual imagery.
A very practical and observational poem on self and society around.
A very Happy WDC Anniversary to you as you begin another year at this endearing website.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day!
This free style poem shows the trials and tribulations you have been through. What is admirable, however, is the fact that you surfaced from all only to take on new challenges.
There came point like in anyone else's life when you told yourself "enough is enough."
That is but natural.
" "No! This is too much for me to handle!
Do something,"
Yes, of course, His is the only Hand that can help people in distress or stressed to the end of their reserves of patience and stamina.
He, the Merciful Lord, finally, seems to have become your safe harbour, your protection from the umpteen number of troubles that pester endlessly.
When the lows took you, you don't desire sumptuous life.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a lovely day.
when the spirit is wilting, it craves for a lonely place where there is a chance to lick your wounds in private standing like a starving "tiny roan cow " under a red sun.
This short poem shows diagrammatically, a certain state of mind that is unwilling to go home, perhaps so because home is too familiar a place where dwell the hurtful memories.
"A minuscule piece of my heart
that refuses to come home."
Terms like "crooked wooden fingers", "dead" "heat" "red" "sun" "alone' "low" "starved" seem to bring out the state of a suffering soul as opposed to
"damp new grass
and the wide, wide sky."
Visual imagery and crisp short lines make the poem alluring.
It’s wonderful that I came across this rhyming poem with a number of thought-provoking thoughts.
To a child, storms are exciting, thrilling. They are equally so for an adult as well with a difference. The child’s innocence is lost in the adult’s experience of fear and danger.
You are right in your observation that,
“The storms today are a little scary…”
While agreeing with the feeling that “…it is an act of God”
I also read that man is responsible for natural calamities to a large extent. Correct me if that’s not so.
Deforestation, pollution and global warming are among other reasons that cause natural disasters. So I read.
As for beauty in a storm, a lot depends on the eye of the beholder.
These are just my thoughts.
I’d give eyeteeth to write with rhythm and rhyme that comes so spontaneously to you.
It flows well with visual imagery and wonderful word choices.
I can relate to your fun on the Zippin Pippin! I too hung there for life in a similar way at a different part of the country. What thrill!
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on completing another creative year at the WDC.
Have a great day.
Amusement parks such as the one at Bay Beach are special because they break the monotony of daily routine. The rides and company renew the spirit and prepare us to face routine life with a fresh mindset.
Half the excitement is obviously meeting the pen pal and sharing fun. Your friendship bond might become stronger with the meeting in actual life.
Hope you will have more such visits to interesting places.
Hi,
you have successfully introduced the reader to camping in the woods.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this nice occasion.
Have a great day.
I like this poem because you told through rhyming couplets, all the details surrounding living outdoors.
Details are well worked out in well composed verses.
"Camping out is always fun,
Until we run out of hamburger buns."
It seems good to live without these regular foods at least for a while.
Imagery mirrors how you filled the day-out in the forest green.
The change from town to forest is shown. The feeling of freshness comes through.
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