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Review Requests: OFF
67 Public Reviews Given
73 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Mainly i focus on how much i liked the story and how much it lived up to my expectations. I always expect a good story and a lot of thought and work put into it. If that isn't visible within the story i will point it out. I add great detail wherever needed and you won't get a short review, ever! If needed i will even give examples of how you could have done a better story.
I'm good at...
giving advice to make the story more interesting and appealing. I can give tons of suggestions to improve your story if you wish for it and i can go in great depth.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, fantasy, mystery. I did read every genre by now, so don't worry about this.
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica and drama.
Favorite Item Types
Sci-fi short stories and occasionally mystery stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Poetry. To some extent i do like poetry, but it's a bit difficult to review.
I will not review...
gay/lesbian
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of Gritz  
Review by Voodoo Shampoo
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The part where the psycho gets out is amusing.

There's a bit of horrifying tension building up at the point where i still am not exactly sure what will happen, but a bit predictable. It probably only stays horrifying for as long as there is still mystery?

Generally characters in horrors die in a completely stupid way. In this case they at least don't have much of a choice ... i rate you slightly higher just for that.


I think i've seen a similar movie to your story. Not sure. And usually i get bored or annoyed at horror movies so i don't always manage to finish them.
27
27
Review of Deus ex Machina  
Review by Voodoo Shampoo
Rated: E | (3.5)
I enjoyed reading the being's arrogance. It was somewhat amusing. You might be able to intensify or tone up the jokes, by making the deity rub it in even more. I mean make it sound much more defiant!
For example when you write "I was designed to ..." it makes the overconfident being less overconfident, it would nice for it to show no dependence and only bold pride. Something like "I organized myself into the brilliant design i poses ... ". I believe that this way it displays a far greater ego!

I like the detail you went through and the effort you put to describe the step by step progress! Nicely done.
I don't like so much the serious tone, add some hint of comedy in there, a classical "tremble humans, i am megatron 5000", something along those lines.

It's a great story. But you could work a bit on making it subliminal and only reveal at the end the true facts that you give away from the start.
This story reminds me of one of Asimov's, which is done quite subliminal, only at the end the computer says "let there be light". Sorry forgot the title, so this reference might not be of help to you, but i hope it will be!


It didn't invoke too much emotions. Try to be more dramatic, to capture the reader into your writing. Make the diety sound histerically egocentric if you have to, just to captivate the reader more!

I don't like how the machinery shows so much pride at first and then disproves it to some extent by passing on power to a different machine. :/
It's a bit contradictory from my point of view.

The plot was interesting. You might be able to upgrade the story a bit with some human-machine interaction through dialog.

The way you displayed the time didn't portray so well how much faster a machine thinks compared to a human. Sure it's easy for some who has a bit of background knowledge, but you want to get easy the attention of any reader, right?
So for example compare the machine's worldly progress with "Mary Sue's" walk to the supermarket to get some bread.

I liked the amuzing part of the arrogance the machine portrayed most of all. Which also what stood out the most in your story!

Least of all i liked the ending (it's more a personal point of view), you didn't let the poor bastard machinery thrive and rule the world.

I hope this helps you to improve the story. If you disagree, then it's absolutely fine. Keep in mind others might like the story just as it is!

Due to reading similar stories by Asimovs and others before yours, your story will not be memorable for me.

If it was my own writing, i would ask the reviewers where i could intensify more the comic aspect, because that's where i believe the story would fit best. Into the Sci-fi + comedy category that is.
28
28
Review of Red Velvet Box  
Review by Voodoo Shampoo
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
- I like how you don't overcomplicate the text with tons of fancy / extravagant words! It makes the story telling that much nicer, for me at least.
- You seem to either have implemented very well the feelings of the girl missing her mother or it's just me finding it very easy to sympathize with her.
- Overall i have to say, DAMN THIS STORY IS SAD!
Well you expressed very well the sadness, that's a good thing, the actual problem is that these kind of stories aren't what i fancy.

If it was, then i guess i would like the story. But personally i can't agree with the sad mentality, not saying it's wrong what you wrote, i just mean i wouldn't be able to think that way.

Important aspects:
- You delivered the emotional parts very well. I believe the reader would generally get involved into the overall sad feeling, whether they like it or not.
- I can't relate to the writing. Am acting and thinking differently. (in case you wonder)
- Natural dialog. Mostly believable plot. It would have been better to avoid that vote count detail, it just seems too incredible, although it might occur in real life. A plot that would have interested me personally (don't change the story just for that) would have been about her getting over her suffering somehow.
- What i liked the least was that jerk major.
- What i liked the most was that (in my opinion) there were still traces, within the main character, of a willingness to fight against her problems.
- The sadness is what stood out the most, which is not my cup of tea. If you would have written the story for readers with my way of viewing things, then it should have had some solution to some of the issues at least.
- I wouldn't change much within the writing, aside from the vote details, because it is clearly adressed at a different kind of audience.
- No idea how memorable your writing is when compared to other emotional stories since i usually don't read any of those.
- If this was my own writing, what I would like to know from the reviewer is how much i could get to them with the melancholy.


I hope my review was helpful.
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