*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vpbanjo
Review Requests: ON
599 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
1
1
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
When It's Over is presented vividly. The emotions surround me up close and personal. I can feel for the person talking and the person being talked to as their emotions are shown. It occurred to me that perhaps this is about talking to the reflection in the mirror or talking to someone face to face. Either way it is plausible and realistic.

The emotions showed the feelings of the speaker giving me a close view and experience of what she may be thinking and feeling. It also showed me that the other person was having issues with the direction and outsome of this final meeting. THe silance said more than words could convey

The plot a sad and emotional life experience for two people who would never see each other again or would be apart for a very long time is something that I can relate to because of my life experiences. It is simple and to the point without a lot of unnecessary fluff and fillers.

The pace fits the action. I didn't feel it should be faster nor slower. I wasn't wondering when things would move along or hoping things would slow because I was trying to understand and process the story. For me it was just right.

The sentence structure is smooth and easy to read. I was able to remain in the story.

Punctuation, grammer, and other technical aspects I ignored because I was interested in the word art, the story and focused on the action.

Thank you for writing and allowing me to review your story. I look forward to reading more of your word art.
Safe travels and many blessings.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Disabled  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can feel the life and emotions. SHowing what happened is like watching it happen in front of me as I read. I will definitely make certain this is published in our news letter. I can tell you that you're not broken, you're alive and able to do. God has rained blessings on you.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Disabled  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I can relate because I was told many times "you can;t" or You can't do that, it's unrealistic", or someother form of (i wasn't able to do whatever it was).

As I read your story, I thought about the situation which rang true because many people who has challenges are in many cases considered not able or of having worth. I could feel your discouragement and hopelessness and helplessness through your words.

I also am aware that often through VA services people do not get the same quality management and treatment of their situation. This is very sad and unfortunate because these people gave their all or almost their all. They should have better treatment and honor.

"You will never be able to hold down a steady job. You'll be dependent on the hospitals and the government to take care of you."

These words came from *red*Anan *red*Armyarmy Judge Advocate General or JAG officer (lawyer) told meas he prepared my papers for discharge. I was being discharged because a previous head injury often caused me to get confused if I was{/}trying to do something the thatrequired multiple steps in the process. Nobody said "We can retrain another area of your brain to take over the functions of the injured area."


How did you feel during these times? What were you thinking about doing?

All they had to say was "You're broken and we can't use you."

Were you ready tp explode, give up, or prove tham wrong?

I believed the lie that I was broken for a long time. After all, multiple doctors and lawyers had told me that I was broken and could not be repaired. I lived the lie for decades before trying anything. I became addicted to drugs and used the little bit of assistance I got to buy drugs or otherwise have my way.

would you be able to start 1 or 2 of these sentences with something other than I*******? For example:

Living the lie for decades...and then you could combine this sentence with the next sentence.


Then somebody believed in me. what happened, how did you feel about this?

I was challenged to get an education. I got my GED and finished at the zero percentile in my class. Zero percentile means there was no other person in my class who scored as high on their GED as I did. I followed that up with an academic associate degree magna cum laude, which is Latin for "with very high honors". This was followed by an RBA from Marshall University and I am currently working on an M. Div. degree/ chaplain's track. Right now my grade point average is 3.83, high enough that I was given a scholarship covering 50% of my tuition. Am I disabled? I have a traumatic brain injury, bipolar I disorder, and I am limited by a bad back. So yes, I am disabled. I am not broken, however. If you are disabled, never let them count you out.

This made me feel elated that someone helped you see things differently and encouraged you to believe in yourself. I'm glad you accomplished all of these activities. Please consider changing a few of the "I" in the sentences and starting the sentences differently. This will remove the monotony and help the story flow better.

How do you feel now comped to before you were shown a different view and challenged to believe in yourself and start striving toward your highest potential?

What words of wisdom do you have for people who live with disABILITIES?
Do you believe that given the chance and finding the right abilities to match with the right lifestyle that people living with disABILITIES have great potential and that they cann live productive lives and be independent?

Thank you Marvin for writing this article for our DWG news letter. You have a great success story. I'm very glad you shared it and am allowing me to read it, review it, and submit it to our newsletter for publication. Please let me know if you have any questions. A;so, after you edit this piece, let me know and I will change the star rating for you.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you. I expect the newsletter to circulate on or about the first week of October.
Safe travels and many blessings.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
My goodness, you definitely have the guidance of and from God to write this article. For me this was part reminder especially the last paragraph and it also was information from a different view. Although it was something I knew, it also was refreshing, uplifting, and a great reminder about prayer, God, and how to consider the things of God.

The story about the person in the tree put a "i get it" type of smile on my face. You're absolutely right to point out this situation as a reminder and for people who do not know or understand about God and prayer, and miracles.

For me miracles are a matter of what's happening, why, and who from, no matter the size shape or kind or timing.

I have oftern pondered about miracles and how much or what kind of human action may be needed or noty. What you wrote about this was an eye opener because of whatyou stated and the point of vies, mostly your knowledge base and your life experiuences.

{step out on faith.} I would have written "step out in faith" I think both actually apply because we can be in and have belief on faith. What words of wisdom do you have about this?

One more interesting part of your article is that you mentioned about God's will and Him not moving unless it's humanly possible to do something. True almost. Sometimes it is a matter of timing which is always God's timing because He is ultimately in charge of evverything, and it also can be a matter of although humanly possible sometimes we humans need God's guidance and strength to accomplish something. Another possiblilit is that although God doesn'tneed anything from us, He may want a better abd stringer partnership/friendship with us si He may require us to participate.

The stepping out in faith I've lived. This is why I'm in Arkansas now.

Thank you for writing and sharing your article. Thank you for allowing me to read and review it for you. Please continue to write and share your word art.
Safe travels and many blessings.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow, LW, what a question(s).
It was like a magnet and me the metal being drawn closer and closer together. I felt I should read this poem, no...I had to read this poem. This was divine appointment of the writing and reading kind. I very much appreciate being able to read the writing you shared with me. It is uplifting. This requires a deep look inside to ponder and search for the answers to the questions posed before me in your word art. It is in fact a friend, you, and the poem, encouraging me to reach out and stretch forth my every being to uncover that answers and know the truth and understand that it is the truth that will show me the way I should go and what I should do.

I will need to return to your poem later to revisit these instructions, to do more searching, and to learn from God more details of what He would have me to do.

This is a very precious gift, one that begs for my full attention. My every nerve and cell is alert and I know that my eternal life depends on finding these answers and others so that I can be who God intended me to be. With His help and yours, I make another step in the direction of being formed into the person I should be for God's glory.

Thank you for writing and sharing your words so that readers can ponder and learn about what God offers. Thank you for allowing me to read and review your word art. Please write as often as you are able so that you can with might give readers delight.

Safe travels and many blessings.

Viv
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Bits of life  
for entry "Bits of Life
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow, what a surprise everyone received. I such a surprise has yet to enter my life, however, I've had other surprises. What were the reactions of the different family members? How did things turn out? Where did this happen? What was the area like? Did this result in a good outcome or otherwise? What are your family members like for example outgoing, adventuresome, or something else?

I hope you are thriving and the word art is flowing. Thank you for sharing your blog with me and allowing me to read and review it and learn about your family and the surprise.

Safe travels and many blessings.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
imagevfor group
         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a PDG member graduate of the Rockin' Review Academy!
Title:
Ode To A Nymph poetry and a nymph may be interesting
Description:
{i]An ode praising the nymph, a mythological spirit of nature imagined as a beautiful maiden.[/i} Imagination and mythology make for interesting characters.
Picture
Your word art contains vivid descriptive words which show the uniqueness of the nymph.

         *Bell* PORTFOLIO VISIT *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
Mythological beings are new to me, so I will do my best to show what works and does not work for me. Attack me a little while to get the rhythm of your poem, however once I got this figured it was easier to focus on the descriptiveness of the poem. I like the idea of the nymph being viewed as something which is beautiful and important. The scene of this being beaming with joy and the idea of love intertwined as she afghans like a white dove works well for me to envision these events.

The fiery brew, I'm not certain how that fits in with the rest of this stanza, but than, I do not know much about nymph, at least not yet. This is intriguing and interesting to me, so I suspect I will delve into nymphs a bit more in the future. These words have invoked my curiosity.

This last part seems to be about the freedom to worship which I believe is a good thing to have religious freedom.

plot:
The story of the nymph is interesting and something which your poem explains in vivid word choices and with interesting meter and endings which I feel adds to the plot.

Theme:underlying meaning/message
For me this was my first introduction to the nymph.

Rhythm/pace:
Now that I am accustom to the rhythm and pace of your word art this poem flowers nicely for me and I enjoyed reading through it as I learned about the nymph.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose
To share a nicely written poem and explain about the nymph and the environment in which this creature lives.

feelings
I feel more enlightened about the nymph and the environment, however I also believe that I have much to learn.

Conflict:more/less
I'm not sure about the conflict because this is new territory for me. It does seem that there could be conflict concerning the worshiping of the nymph.

CHARACTERS
The characters and environment worked well together and they were believable as presented.

Believability
I could believe this as it was presented and should after educating myself more about this genera see it as more believable

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Are nymphs she's all the time or does this depend on the writer?

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
I appreciate being able to read and review for you. Your word art about the nymph gave me clues about this being and the environment in which she lives.
Safe travels and many blessings.


*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:

*ThumbsUp*

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "I.N.K.E.D. through "The V.I.N.E. ~ Closed *Vine2**Heart**Vine1*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1533880 over display limit. -?-
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-
*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "Rockin' Reviewers - Award Page paper doll gang home page

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
imagevfor group
         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a PDG member graduate of the Rockin' Review Academy!
Title:
Ode To A Nymph poetry and a nymph may be interesting
Description:
{i]An ode praising the nymph, a mythological spirit of nature imagined as a beautiful maiden.[/i} Imagination and mythology make for interesting characters.
Picture
Your word art contains vivid descriptive words which show the uniqueness of the nymph.

         *Bell* PORTFOLIO VISIT *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
Mythological beings are new to me, so I will do my best to show what works and does not work for me. Attack me a little while to get the rhythm of your poem, however once I got this figured it was easier to focus on the descriptiveness of the poem. I like the idea of the nymph being viewed as something which is beautiful and important. The scene of this being beaming with joy and the idea of love intertwined as she afghans like a white dove works well for me to envision these events.

The fiery brew, I'm not certain how that fits in with the rest of this stanza, but than, I do not know much about nymph, at least not yet. This is intriguing and interesting to me, so I suspect I will delve into nymphs a bit more in the future. These words have invoked my curiosity.

This last part seems to be about the freedom to worship which I believe is a good thing to have religious freedom.

plot:
The story of the nymph is interesting and something which your poem explains in vivid word choices and with interesting meter and endings which I feel adds to the plot.

Theme:underlying meaning/message
For me this was my first introduction to the nymph.

Rhythm/pace:
Now that I am accustom to the rhythm and pace of your word art this poem flowers nicely for me and I enjoyed reading through it as I learned about the nymph.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose
To share a nicely written poem and explain about the nymph and the environment in which this creature lives.

feelings
I feel more enlightened about the nymph and the environment, however I also believe that I have much to learn.

Conflict:more/less
I'm not sure about the conflict because this is new territory for me. It does seem that there could be conflict concerning the worshiping of the nymph.

CHARACTERS
The characters and environment worked well together and they were believable as presented.

Believability
I could believe this as it was presented and should after educating myself more about this genera see it as more believable

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Are nymphs she's all the time or does this depend on the writer?

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
I appreciate being able to read and review for you. Your word art about the nymph gave me clues about this being and the environment in which she lives.
Safe travels and many blessings.


*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:

*ThumbsUp*

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "I.N.K.E.D. through "The V.I.N.E. ~ Closed *Vine2**Heart**Vine1*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1533880 over display limit. -?-
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-
*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "Rockin' Reviewers - Award Page paper doll gang home page

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
imagevfor group
         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a PDG member graduate of the Rockin' Review Academy!
Title:
ruth is writing in 2018~Spring Is In The Air because spring is showing promise of becoming a reality, I thought I'd investigate this story. Also you requested reviews so, here am I to review for you.
Description:
{i]I will be adding stories, poems & reflections as the year marches on. Take a gander today![/i} I'm wandering today at your story to ferret out the details.
Picture
Your word art presented a vivid picture of your experience with Spring detailing the meaning of "spring has sprung" and your reflections and interpretation of this saying.

         *Bell* PORTFOLIO VISIT *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The history of your experience with "spring is in the air" was interesting and also had personal aspects to make this your unique story. As you describe the events they worked will with the phrase and followed in order which made it easy to grasp the impact and time line of events. You put personal feelings and reactions in to this word art which gave it life and allowed me to get to know you better.

plot:
Spring in the air and the events surrounding this statement bring forth much information about your life experiences and the events before and after your move.

Theme:underlying meaning/message
Spring in younger years is different from spring after changing locations. Spring is important and something to be enjoyed.

Rhythm/pace:
Reading your word art was like watching a movie presented with vivid characters and imegry. I had no trouble following the scenes or reading your word art.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose
To share the beauty of spring and how it affected the writer.

feelings
One feeling which stuck out to me was the feeling of missing the scent of spring.

Conflict:more/less
Conflict was the change of spring after moving.

CHARACTERS

Believability
Spring and human relationships are believable because they are shown in a realistic manner as humans reacted to spring.

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
I enjoyed reading your word art and reviewing for you. Thank you for sharing this writing with me, readers, and reviewers.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "I.N.K.E.D. through "The V.I.N.E. ~ Closed *Vine2**Heart**Vine1*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1533880 over display limit. -?-
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-
*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "Rockin' Reviewers - Award Page paper doll gang home page

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Caverns  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Caverns The title caught my attention because this word was at the top of each page.
Description:
The richest veins always run deeperNow, this description did catch my attention because I wanted to know what was in and about the deep richest veins.

         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The rhythm of this work was steady and constant. Describing the veins brought a visual of being able to venture into this special environment.

plot:
The richest veins running deeper and having unique and interesting characteristics made this poem interesting and kept my attention.

Rhythm:
I had no trouble finding the rhythm of this work and was able to follow it through out the poem.

Reading
For me reading this word art was challenging because the blue font against the while background was difficult to see and read. I considered how I might be able to change this however, as far as I know there are no options with in WDC to change the font for easier readability.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
Font color was a challenge for me to read.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Thank you for sharing this poem and allowing me to review for you. It was well written and vivid.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CATS AND DOGS The cats/dogs in the title grabbed me and drug me into your article willingly, much thanks. *Smile*
Description:
Why cats never have a milk mustache. I hadn't thought about this, yet now that this description posed the question, I was interested in finding out the answer.

         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
I found this information enlightening and of interest because I have several cats and dogs.
Staying your resource is nice because it shows that you didn't create something out of imagination. Also, knowing about this publication is something new to me, much thanks.

The detailed description gave me the visual I needed to follow the progression of how a cat drinks.


plot:
The difference between cats and dogs drinking for me is interesting because I like animals and have cared for many species especially canids and felids, cats and dogs.

Rhythm:
Your word moved forward nicely and brought to my minds eye a cat drinking which kept my interest in the information which was explained in great detail.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
...tongue back, the milk rises neatly out of the bowl holding it. (holding it) The bowl holding it? The tongue holding it? or is (holding it) necessary to forward this article story forward? Did you mean, The tongue dips into the milk which is held by the bowl and then quickly retracts as the milk clings to the tongue? If so, one element was left out of this explanation. A cats tongue is rough which may explain why and how the milk or water or whatever else the cat may be drinking is able to cling to the tongue long enough for the cat to quickly retract it's tongue and swallow the liquid.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
The detailed description give me an up close view of how a cat drinks liquids without making a mess and being able to keep their whiskers dry. the information showed me how cats were created to do this task in a neat way compared to the way dogs drink.

Thank you for sharing this interesting and informative information with me, readers, reviewers, and allowing me to review for you.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Kipuka  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Kipuka Interesting title which focused me onto the description.
Description:
Just imagine crossing miles of lava fields to reach a green oasis on the slopes of Hawaii I tried imagining this before reading your poem and didn't quite get it so took on the challenge of reading and understanding your word art.
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
Now that I've been able to grasp the view and beauty of the environment and how it relates to the animals and plants, I can visualize a beautiful area. I like the idea of birds flying, trees thriving, and this area being challenging to access so that all of the wonders of nature are minimally disturbed.

plot:
The story of this magnificent area which is distinctly a Hawaiian scene and environment with nature relatively protected from human disturbances is something to cherish and share in word art form.

Rhythm:
The words work well together and the stanzas are in order bringing the reader through a wonderful world. I had a challenging time getting the flow correct partly because of the different words used and the definitions located at the bottom of the poem. For me it would have worked much better to have the definitions close to the areas defined.

Challenge
After reading your poem several times, and then having to refer to the explanation of some of the terms you used, It took some of the flow from the beauty of the word art. I then read your work several times and was able to gain a picture of what you shared with readers about the beauty within the lava.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
I enjoyed learning about this area. Thank you for sharing the beauty and uniqueness of this natural and magnificent place.
I appreciate being able to read and review for you, thank you for sharing your word art.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Though None Go With Him After reading the description, I understood the title. The title got enough of my attention for me to explore further, then decide to read your word art.
Description:
One of the poems I wrote after I became a Christian This definite got me interested in reading your poem.
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The part about Jesus being available and wanting to help compared to their reactions gives a good picture of where the human race is in the relationship with God, Jesus, and Holy Ghost. For me this is sad and heartbreaking, however beyond this is hope because Jesus is still around and waiting for people to accept Him. The ending where there is still hope makes me feel like even with all the rejection and sadness there is the gift of eternal help awaiting the grasp of the hand into His and a relationship which is well worth getting to know Him.

plot:
The hope of a wonderful relationship between humans and Jesus if only we would take the time and effort to reach out and accept this awesome gift. Having the opportunity to be uplifted and enjoy a relationship with Jesus for me is the best gift ever. I'm glad you wrote this poem and shared it with me.

Rhythm:
Reading your word art was uplifting and enjoyable. I had no trouble understanding your words. It took a little concentration to be able to read it so the flow was smooth and the words and stanza's worked together.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
Through out your poem you change from present tense to past tense. I can understand your meaning, however for proper structure it would be better if it all was past tense or all present tense. This of course is what I felt when reading, however you may have a reason for presenting this word in this manner. If there is a reason, I am interested in knowing what it is because this may help me write something in the future nd I also like learning about techniques which would help imporve my writing.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Thank you for sharing this word with me, readers, and reviewers. This is a very good message for people to know about and to understand.
May your walk with Him be close every day.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Shadow Prints  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Shadow Prints The title caused me to think dog, so of course anything dog is a must read for me.
Description:
This poem is about my little girl, Shadow. You have a little girl dog in poetry who I would like to meet, so decided to read your story written in poem form.

         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The way your love for Shadow shows through your poem.
She is always close to me
She knows what to do
Shadow seems to be an intelligent and devoted friend.
This for me is the best possible friendship situation because dogs do not judge. My service dog, Bella has been diagnosed with lymphoma so this word art is a mixture of happiness for you and Shadow and sadness for me because Bells has this medical issue, is an older dog, and I'm not sure how much longer we will be together.

A furry nudge is a familiar touchthis reminds me of Bella waking me in the morning. I think this dog behavior is part of natures way for mother dogs to stir their pups to be awake and active in their environment.

plot:
The relationship between a loved dog and human is for always a great story, no matter the form.

Rhythm:
Reading your poem for me brought to life the friendship you two have and reminded me of Bella and our friendship. I had no trouble understanding the information presented and could visualize the actions written about in vivid color. The stanzas worked well together and reading your word art was a smooth and enjoyable experience.


Character
Shadow seems to be a devoted and in turn with you canine companion/fury friend and family member.

Picture
You painter a wonderful picture through your word art of a fantastic relationship between you and your dog. A good addition to this poem would be to have a picture uploader to this poem.





         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Thank you for sharing about your fury family member. I enjoyed getting to know both of you through this poem.
Reading and reviewing your word was for me like finding a new friend and getting to know them. Much thanks for writing this story and sharing it with me, readers, and reviewers.
Safe travels and many blessing.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Taking Life Away From Life This title fits well and it also got my attention because taking life should not happen.
Description:
Alcohol? Not me! I agree that alcohol is not a healthy beverage to take into the body especially when it is consumer to great excess and especially when young polk avail themselves of this drink.
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
Showing the sources of your research showed that you did investigate this topic thoroughly and were able to write from a well informed knowledge base.

Sharing this information which is full of treasure for people to understand the dangers of alcohol consumption is a very nice gift to those who read your word art.

plot:
Alcohol verses health is a good subject for conflict in this article. The thoroughness of details presented and the encouragement to not drink made this plot nicely rounded and well worth reading.

Rhythm:
This is not like reading a story in the usual sense, however it is a story of the challenges children, teens and adults face when alcohol is part of the environment. I did not have any problems following this piece from beginning to end.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
What motivated you to write this article?

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         

I would recommend editing this word art because there are some ends of sentences where after the period a double space should be placed. Also some of the sentences do not read as well as some of the other sentences through out this article. The topic can be understood and with a little more exploration, this article would be extremely well written and bering the reader further into this story of what alcohol does to the human body and how people can have healthier lives when they do not drink alcohol.
*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Thank you for sharing this article about the reasons alcohol shouldn't be consumed. I can tell by the way this article has been written there was a lot of research and effort put into gleaning the facts.
Sharing this information may save lives. Reviewing for you was my pleasure, that you for this opportunity.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Speak, Lili, Speak! I had to find out what Lili had to say. I've been around canids since I was an infant, they are wonderful animals, so this I could not resist.
Description:
I had a conversation with my dog and this is what she had to say ... Did you know that dogs converse quietly using body language which afoot humans are not aware of, so when something startling happened like a fight the people can not understand how this happened so quickly, Reality is that the fight got started a while ago through simple and subtle body language such as a very, very slight curl of the lip or twitch of an ear or some other body movement which unless your are aware and looking for it you would most likely not see anything happening. So I wonder what in your conversation with Lili you may have missed?

         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
I got a hearty laugh out of:
And, when you see us lick "down there?"
Enough! – The jokes have all been said.
It's just our nature, so why care?
We don't make fun of you ... in bed."
Wow, the way you presented this information worked well and actually I couldn't help chuckling. It seems to me that it would be exactly the Lili would have approached this subject.

The entire poem works well for me and kept me interested and enjoying every word. Lili seems to have her head on straight and the ability to express from dogs point of view things which humans need to know.

But, since you want to have this talk
there are a few things you should know.
You need to take us for a walk;
it limits times you'll say 'Oh, no!"
I had to chuckle over this part of your word art also. The walk is important for more than getting relief. It is natural for dogs to walk to check out their territory, find food and water, read the news paper (smells and finding out who is in the area), sniffing each other to know who they are, health, and other important knowledge about the canine individual.

plot:
Having a talking dog telling about the things people need to know works well as presented in this poem because much truth is presented in a jovial and funny/fun way which should help people to remember special things about dogs.

Rhythm:
The friendly approach of the bouncy rhythm and fun filled arrangement and choice of words worked well to bring to life and nice and informative conversation with Lili. It was for me as if she was talking directly to me, so reading this story in poetry was very enjoyable. I felt at ease and calm during this reading experience, not rushed along nor held back.


         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
Please continue to write these lively and informative stories in poetry form or any form, much thanks.
*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Your conversation with Lili is memorable because of the funny parts, the joyful and bouncy tone of the poetry, the unique voice you used to convey what Lili had to share with readers, and the varied subject matter.

Much thanks for sharing your word art with me and any readers and reviewers who are dog enthusiasts as well as anyone who would read this wonderful poem.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Ghost Dog  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Ghost Dog Did you write "DOG!" I've got to review this!
Description:
His loving spirit still haunts me. A Pet News Contest Entry Spirit This tells me it's about a dog who is no longer on this earth. *Sad*
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The way the words and structure create a bouncy reading experience kept me interested in reading. Love and respect for the dog from you and for you from the dog seem to be underlying in this poem. Scooter seemed to be a very nice dog who had a lot of energy and a sense of adventure.

plot:
Scooter and you together sharing life doing dog and people things makes for a nice story in poetry form.

Rhythm:
The rhythm was for me a jolly, happy, and bouncy which seemed to match well the personality and energy of Scooter.

Character(s)
The relationship between you and Scoter and scooters personality in the ix made this scene of the two of you going through life together believable and realistic. You and Scooter seemed to be a good match for each other.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
          This poem brought great sadness to me because just recently my Dog Ammo who just turned a year old 4/7/19 disappeared 4/5/19 and I have had no news about him since his disappearance.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Thank you for sharing your word art with me, readers,, and reviewers. Much thanks for the opportunity to review for you.
Safe travels and many blessing.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Sweet Dreams  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Sweet Dreams I had to learn more about the Sweet Dreams because often I have trouble falling to sleep and staying asleep.
Description:
The importance and ways to sleep well This should give me some ideas about getting quality sleep.
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The idea of sharing the importance of getting a good nights sleep and ways to accomplish sleeping well is for me information I can use regularly. This topic is something which I am attracted to because the need for this information not just for me but for many people can be extremely helpful. Many people do not realize many of the techniques that can be used to get a good nights sleep, so thank you for gathering this information and writing about it.

plot:
This plot has many useful bits of information which anyone can use to get a good nights sleep. It is encouraging and very helpful because it describes useful ways to make certain that a person is able to get a good nights sleep.

Rhythm:
Your article certainly did not puttee to sleep. I was engaged and digesting the information and techniques for getting a good nights sleep. Reading your word art was a pleasurable and relaxing experience.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Did you know that because people only get minimal sleep usually about 6 hours or less this has been attributed to many errors and accidents at home and in the work place?

According to a book I read years ago, (don't remember the title or author), humans should get at least 8 hours and often 10 hours of sleep.

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
...useit all the time. sunshades--them
*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Thank you for this information. I found it very helpful.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review of Blood Bath  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Blood Bath This title seems to be indicating ominous events. Although I would rather not engage in violence, I decided to read your story.
Description:
Not everyone is lucky in crime scenes but also not everyone is lucky behind closed doors. This is true. Why did you choose this description? The curiosity for me is what could have happened.
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The mystery of who the character may be and who the victims may be plus what they had in common or why they were killed? The beginning which matched the ending made for a curious story concept and configuration, what is it about the window in the beginning and the window and bathroom at the ending? I guess if were to kill people the bathroom would at least be the easiest place to clean and get rid of any evidence.

plot:
The killings seemed to be ruthless, unprovoked, and something for lust. This works well for this kind of story, however, I feel that it is possible for more life and interest can be brought forth to create a much more interesting and emotional charged story. There is a lot of room for developing more substance in characters, environment, possible twist or perhaps something sinister behind the murders to distract from what is really happening. More character development will help bring the reader into the story because knowing the characters make for feeling like the reader has something invested into them like friends for example. The plot is a good start to a fantastic murder mystery. The environment could have something hidden such as a valuable weapon, treasure, or map or conspiracy written for the purpose of power and might to control people or situations.

Rhythm:
Your word art moved along well and kept me interested. I enjoyed allowing my imagination to run wild while reading.There is great potential for expanding this plot and creating a story which could fit into several different genres.


         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
A figure disappearing out the new window. The second thing he saw brought pools of tears to his storm colored eyes.
New window? What about the new window why is it significant?
the tears,tears to his storm colored eyes, Is (storm) a typo or is there a specific meaning/reason for using the word storm? Tears in his, is this what you mean?
...throat.Blood, everywhere. There should be a double space between the period and the capital letter to make this easier to read. Also, the next statement is an incomplete sentence. You could add there is or there was depending on weather it is the present or the past.
The pale cream of the walls now bathed in rivers of rusty blood. The floor that was at one point pure white

such as snow but now showed dark shades of pink and red.


*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Thank you for sharing this story with me, readers, reviewers, and for allowing me to review for you, my pleasure. I look forward to learning about any changes or expansions you make to your word art.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of The wind goes by  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
The Wind Goes By I was wondering what the wind goes by so decided to read about this.
Description:
A wind goes by and surprise everyone, the wind is strong so don't be a fool to be in there Your description made me consider what the trouble may be with the wind. Also, to smooth out this description you should add an (s) to surprise and
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The wind acting as a person is an interesting twist for this story. The unknown person has the potential for more character building which could bring to life some interesting situations which would add suspense and interest to your story. The evil within the wind could possibly be from some source trying to do something awful to someone of thing or perhaps unlawful act which would hurt the general population. The man who interrupts this evil scheme and causes the demise of the wind could be a citizen, a law enforcement officer,military or alien (outer space or foreigner). The wind could be a weapon or natural man make distraction while something =else is happening or it could be a creation of an enemy trying to take over whatever your imagination can create. These possibilities because of this great beginning in your story have given me the fun and enjoyment of thinking about the possibilities, much thanks.

plot:
The idea of evil verses good is a good story line which can be expanded to create a very interesting short story, novelette, or novel and possibly a screen play. The wind could be evil, however it also could be a weapon or distraction which makes the twist and turn of this story an adventure depending on how it is presented. The other characters in the story have huge potential for extensive development and inter twining them into a situation which could be horror, fantasy, sic-fi, or even comedy but for me something which relates to what we know being made into a conflict of evil verses good works well.

Rhythm:
With the smoother sentences which result in a better reading experience this story is a must read and I enjoyed a pleasure and pleasurable reading experience.

Characters
Allow your imagination to go wild and enjoy the process of creation.

environment While reading your word art I was wondering what the environment was like, such as weather, location, planet, surrounding, the things people experience and know about. This can be changed to whatever your imagination creates or be realistic.

challenge of good verses evil
Why would whoever want to do the evil and why would the good want to stop the evil? How would these challengers interact with each other and what are the results? Is there an underlying reason(s) for what they do> Can they be doing this for the right or wrong reason(s)?

What else
What in this world is important? Who did what, when, where, why, and how? When you answer these questions you will find great treasure for your story and threader which readers will want to know about.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
A wind wanted to get passpast this person, but the person won't let her through. The wind started to cry and and start to howl. Making a few changes will smooth out these sentences for me/readers.
The person finally the wind go, let or let the wind pass, or allowed the wind to go past, or any other words which would forward this story.
The evil wind have has this smile that everyone sees and get haunted. Which haunts them or you could rearrange this idea: The evil wind's evil smily seen by everyone haunts them. Seeing the winds evil smile haunts everyone. or whatever works for your writing voice.
...the man won't look at her ... wouldn't or would not

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Your ideas in your story are exciting and well worth reading about. My imagination enjoyed the adventure of roaming through your story and creating possibilities.

Thank you for taking the time and effort to write your word art and for sharing it with me, readers, reviewers, and for allowing me to review for you. Please let me know how I can help as needed. I will be interested to read about what you create for this story and am willing to change the rating.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of My Mind  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
My Mind This must be some insight about you so I decided to get to know you through your word art.
Description:
Life as I once knew it and life as I now know it This is an interesting comparison which I want to read about.
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
After reading this I realized I would need to read it again and focus on figuring out what was happening, when, where, why, how, with whom and what was transpiring. It seemed to be a story about you, someone else, maybe mother, and events which were in the beginning based on relationship of a friendly nature and later based on a distant friendship or no friendship. Then other things become apparent to me which were showing that this may be battle within the thought process. The challenge of figuring out the plot is intriguing. I'm beginning to realize there is much more to this writing than was apparent in my first reading of your work.

plot:
When I first read your word art, I was not certain about the conflict, characters, and the other elements of your writing. In the first stanza you refer to listening to the music. This for me could be what worked well in your mental activity. Then in the last two lines, you refer to back ground noise in a grocery store and the unspoken conversation in an elevator. This to me appears to some of the other thought processes which are not working for you. The first part of your writing sets the tone of what I believe is the explanation of the conflict between thoughts and events remembered. Also it creates the possibility for sharing your struggles with these conflicts.

Rhythm:
Reading your writing was not a rushed or held back experience because it felt as if the pace was up to me. The challenging part was understanding the meaning of the words and sentences, ferreting out the tangled scenes as they were presented, and making sense of it all so that I could explain better to you what was happening as I was reading.

conflict
It appears to me that there is the conflict of being lost in the store and not finding who you were looking for and when you did find that person another person was there also. The other part of this is there seems to be the need for this person and yet there is a pushing away from the knowledge that there are two people together. Another way to see this is if all the examples were just for the purpose of explaining the events and actually all of this is produced in the mind. Therefore there is a huge ammonite of conflict with in the mind causing great distress and anxiety. being tired of being trapped is something which can cause a great deal of conflict because of trying to figure out how to get out of this situation. The mind can go anywhere even when it feels trapped so the conflict is not feeling like it is possible to have a change of mind and escape from being trapped.


         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Has your situation changed for the better? I hope it did and you have found peace.

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         

Your word has been a challenge to understand because I can see several possibilities. For example the store can be where memories are stored, rather then an actual store. Another person can be an actual person or other thought or memory process.
The events can be as they are represented or used as a means to explain something which is more a mental memory or event which is causing challenges.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
I enjoyed reading you writing in general, however the more I explored it , the more there were possibilities. This was a challenge but not one which caused me stress or other unwanted reactions. Through your description of how things were, i could feel several emotions coming through your words:
despair, conflict, anxiety, anger perhaps, frustration, and other similar feelings related to things not going as well as they could or should.

Thank you very much for taking the time to write this word art, share it with me, readers, reviewers, and give me the opportunity to review for you.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of carving  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
CarvungThe title reminded me of carving wood. Your writing has been interesting so I decided to carve some time to do another review for you.
Description:
just life as I know it just?, well this evokes a bit of "really "in me because for me just creates the idea that it is not very important. So now that you've written that this isn't really an important work of word art, what can be done for a change of mind and perhaps a change in your choice of words so that readers can't help themselves? The readers need to read what you've written!


         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE/? *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
After reading this word art twice I find it necessary to give this piece of writing time to incubate because it seems that there is much more to this. Also for some of the statements need to be considered from several possible points of view. There is a bit of confusion about the meaning of some of the words you have used and the way you've used them. This I will ponder and the return and finish this review for you.

On my third reading of this writing I am able to better understand from whence this has been and where it is going. I like the idea of how time and experience work together to bring about maturity and understanding. As the time, maturity and understanding process continues changes and focus on the carving change and eventually this becomes the process of trying to carve out just a little more time. It also appears to me that this does not entirely encompass time but also can and is workable for you in life with all that is presented to you and with all of your reactions to these events. The deepness of this writing as far as I can discern is able to be followed eventually very deep. I need time to digest all of this before I can comment further, hence perhaps I should stop here. The feeling of deepness and extensiveness has been a companion during this reading of your work.

plot:
For me I understand that "time" is the main character in this word art. Based on this, it seems to me that you are mostly carving away at time with the intent of having more time even if it is "just a little". The idea of carving out the time needed for living is foremost what many people do for various reasons. With this in mind the plot is strong and seems to continue in degrees as the aging process and experience grow. Now that I've had time to consider your words and their meaning, this story of life and experience is interesting, intriguing, and something I can relate to which reminds me of some of the things which directed my life experience. I got the feeling of desperation within the words expressed. This is not huge but it lingers.

Rhythm:
The progression of being young and not having a lot of experience work together to forward this writing. The next part about for the lack of any other words at the moment, middle age, brings the reader to the point where realizations over time have significantly changed the person and their outlook online and time. Then in the end it is more about realizing that much time has passed, the end is drawing near and also there is no need of having plenty. The focus is for finding and carving out a little more time. These processes for me moved this story along well. I was not feeling hurried nor held back but more like I was journeying with this story scenery.

Hope for a little more time may be because of the feeling that time is passing quicker than it did years earlier.


         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Do you now feel as if time is passing more quickly? It feels like this to me.

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
this odd light is filtered by some age.
perhaps it wasn't leather, wood, or even words,
my carving is just time alone.

let me just carve out a little bit.


This is the part of your story which marked the importance of time and the way having lived for many years and having had many experiences brought about the knowledge and growth which caused you to want to carve just a little bit, A little bit of t more time? More time this may be or may be not is a good or horrible thing depending on a persons situation. That is what came to my mind when I read this.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:

Your story represented in poetry format has for me a lot of deepness and things to consider. I have reread this several times and each time something new pops up and gives this more fodder for thought and contemplation. I'm certain that if I read it more times there will be more added to my thoughts about this piece.

Thank you for sharing this with me, readers, and reviewers.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Like Clockwork  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Like Clockwork After reading the title, then reading the story it seems the title fits for me because it tells a story of the passing of time as you/the character moves through time and experiences events which are life changing and also from which you learn to roll with the punches. The biggest connection to this title and a bit of the description is A Clockwork Orange.
Description:
Orange You Glad You Don't Teach? Interesting question, however in life every moment has the potential for a teaching opportunity.
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
I like all of this story because it is about the challenges of life and how as things do not turn out as expected the human/human spirit over comes adversity and turns it into triumph. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the part about the confrontation between student and professor because it is rare these days for someone to stand up for what they believe in by themselves and also to react in a way which is not harmful I.E. blowing up something or living beings.

plot:
I've as far back as I can remember liked and enjoyed reading stories based on true life events, so this story certainly fit my muse and kept me interested. As presented this story showed me how life twists and turns can take a person in a direction they may not have explored on their own, or even entertained such exploration. These two things with in the story made for a very nice plot and helped move the story along well.

Rhythm:
The rhythm for me was fine. I didn't feel like I wanted to get the reading over with nor did I feel like lingering. It was like a smooth transition from one part of the story to another. I enjoyed every bit of it and learned about a book I think now, I should investigate.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
How are life experiences these days? Are you going to add to this story or create another?
         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
No major college wanted an 85 m.p.h. fastball from a guy without a nasty curve, I understand the meaning of this sentence because I know about baseball. However, I am not certain about someone who knows nothing about baseball.
It started when my parents put it in the "locked" case around about junior high. One way thread this is that it was put in a locked case at the junior high and the other way to read this is that your parents locked it up at home. I'm certain you were referring to your parents locking it in a case at home.
I'd discovered better ways in high school This sentence for me is a bit well, out of place, or disjointed within the paragraph. Did you mean something like discovering better ways to keep from being bord or asleep or perhaps referring to the professor which is mentioned a sentence or so below and not actually in my view connected, the professor -you found better ways to explain what he was teaching?
Our hitting coached laughed. coached[
...but could see how much you want to educate people to really do it. I know I've been blessed to have had many. These statements are a bit confusing for me. The way the last sentence is hanging out there there is no identity for what "had many" refers to and so my guess is you are referring to having had many what exactly? "you" in the first part is referring to whom? The "it" is referring to what? I've read this part of your story several times trying to ferret out the meaning. My guess is that you are referring to respect for teachers and that you've been blessed to have had many good teachers.


*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
I'm glad you shared this word art with me, readers and writers because within this story there is much treasure. This is a good example of a book which made a huge difference in a persons life and brought them to a different pathway which I expect would not have been followed if the sports had been successful. Although sports were in a way a success getting you to college the events which followed were instrumental in showing you aa different path to a different world. Changes like these and reactions like yours show how although dreams at times are changed humanity has the ability to adapt and come to peace with different circumstances. This for me is very up lifting. The way the events were shown made a life story truly like being in the midst of the events.

Thank you for writing, sharing, and allowing me to review for you.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Gutshot  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS *Angel*

Review Icon for Angel Army members

I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP family member, on behalf of
The WDC Army Angels



         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability!
Title:
Gutshot Gut Shot got my attention because I know these kind of injuries according to what has been portrayed.written tells me they are very painful and also I was curious to find out who shot who and why.
Description:
Alone... all alone. wonder if the victim was aware that with God you are not alone?
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The description of the events were enough for the reader to understand what was happening and draw them into the story, however along with this was allowed either intentionally or accidentally room for th reader to fill in more of the story.

plot:
This description of a hunter being shot is a type event in hunting which at times is lethal, however in this story although it is possible this hunter may or may not survive, depends on the interpretation of th reader.

Rhythm:
Some the rhythm was like snap shots being displayed a=repidly showing events clearly yet moving the story forward at a thinking pace after a major injury.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Did you create this from an actual event or from fictional/other hunting events told by hunters?

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
He'd been watching he edges of the clearcut for deer for weeks. t the
He was struck and thrown backwards, a shot echoed. On his back and stared at the sky. Bleeding. as a he or possibly rearranging this completely it would read much more smoothly. throw backwards landing hard on his back
staring at the sky while the searing pain pulsed and he bleed profusely
*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Thank you for sharing this with me and other readers and reviewers.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a member of "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP
Title:
One Rule for Vivid Writing[/i} I could not resist because I need to learn as much as possible about writing.
Description:
One rule will tell you what to put in ... and what to leave out.[/i} One rule is simple for this simple writer, works for me.
Picture
You created a clear visual about what to pun into word art and what to leave out, much thanks.

         *Bell* PORTFOLIO VISIT *Bell*
I enjoyed my visit and finding this treasure.

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The simplicity of putting in or leaving out is very helpful, although for me I will need to read and consider this several times for it to sink in well enough to put it to practice reliably.

plot:
The idea of too much baggage in writing is a great story to tell along with the hot to part of this situation.

Theme:underlying meaning/message
Slim down the words in writing and make them count.

Rhythm/pace:
Reading this information was pleasurable. The story of how to slim down the word art effectively moved along well.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose
To share with readers, writers, and reviewers a good way to improve writing skills.

feelings
I felt like I had found hidden treasure and was glad for this information.

Conflict:more/less
Simple conflict between too many unneeded words and the writers need to write using words.

CHARACTERS
Words are tricky characters who demand attention.

Believability
Yes the quality of and truth of this subject matter is believable.

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
Keep sharing this kind of information, thank you.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*

Thank you very much for sharing this word art full of much treasure with readers and reviewers.
Safe travels and many blessings.

My thoughts and Impressions:

*ThumbsUp*

*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "Rockin' Reviewers - Award Page paper doll gang home page
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

*Vine2**Heart**Vine1* This review brought to you by "I.N.K.E.D. through "The V.I.N.E. ~ Closed *Vine2**Heart**Vine1*

You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com.
A more petite version of the graduation signature
Image #1831899 over display limit. -?-
The WDC Army Angels

*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*


My review has been submitted for
consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed
The WDC Army Angels


*BalloonR*
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon!
*BalloonR*
newbie welcom wagon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
279 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 12 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vpbanjo