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634 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Talk With A Heart  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
That's a wonderful love poem. It has the love of life and the love for another. Eternal beats are the beginning, not the end but the way you ended this poem works well. I had to throw in my opinion about the end. Yes, it's the end of life on earth but eternity is a great adventure.

Your choice of words works well together providing a smooth reading experience and showing the details of life and love as you tell this story.

I'm glad I read this poem because it gave me an idea about some great ways to use words to show a story. My muse has been stimulated for learning more about how to write poetry better. I'll have to write more poems.

Thank you for writing this poem and sharing it with me and the WDC members. I look forward to reading more of your writing.

Safe travels and many blessings.


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2
2
Review of Songbirds  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem had a nice bounce to it as I read it and followed the story about the Cardinal singing and the change from winter to spring. I could imagine the song of the Cardinal, the changing of the air, see their flight.

The words flowed smoothly as I read. You showed a picture that told it was spring and the birds were enjoying themselves as they flew.

Thank you for writing this poem and sharing it with me.

Safe travels and many blessings.


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3
3
Review of Spring Of Life  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Apparently, because of the way you wrote this poem, I did naturally read it quickly. The explanation is great. I'll need to study the poem as I follow the explanation so that I can fully understand and remember how to write this kind of poetry. I appreciate the details of how to do this after reading the poem. It was enlightening.

As you told the story I was able to in my mind see flashes of the action. It was very fast so the details are blurred.

Thank you for writing and sharing this form of poetry.

Safe travels and many blessings.


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4
4
Review of Wishes  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I totally agree with your words about wishes and dreams. You wrote this in a relaxed, concise, and deliberate manner. This is well done because you did not beat around the bush, you made direct statements without fillers or any hesitation. I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the subject and could relate. One of my dreams was to have a cabin on a mountain. This dream has been mostly fulfilled. I'm not in a cabin but I have a place to live on a mountain. I was selfish because I wanted to own the entire mountain, but then children tend to not realize such things until they mature.

Thank you for writing about this topic and sharing it on WDC.
Safe travels and many blessings.


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5
5
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Kitty rocking works well at least for people who know about cats. Your description helps clarify why the chair rocks with the kitty relaxing, but if someone is unfamiliar with cats and the jumping described in the description, they may not understand. BYW whenever you want to add a note to your writing, you could use a drop note.

I enjoyed reading your poem and could follow the action as well as the inaction. The words flowed well together and the rhythm worked with the events showing by the pace that the cat wanted to relax.

Safe travels and many blessings.


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6
6
Review of Misinformation  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What hit me the most is the truth about the country sitting on the precipice of Anarchy because this is what will wake people up to the truth of the matter or it will be the end of this country as it was started and supposed to be.

In the third stanza, I find it reads better with the first "to" removed because it is smoother reading and makes the meaning more clear. For me, it's like a hiccup as I read. I believe you mean that it leads those in power who are lying and cheating to unjustice towards the citizens and anyone they are involved with foreign or domestic.

Your awesome and wonderful poem hits home right on target. I can feel your concern and passion for this country and the state of affairs we all are in, even throughout the world for things are not as they seem.

Thank you very much for writing this poem and sharing it with WDC members. I look forward to reading more of your word art.
Safe travels and many blessings.


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7
7
Review of Bird Watching  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The conflict between cat and bird is heart-pounding stress because the bird may land out of exhaustion, or the cat may leap and catch the bird in the air. I could feel the adrenalin and tension. Hopefully, this will end in a good way for the bird's survival and for the cat's entertainment and joy of hunting.


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8
8
Review of The Fur Blur  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Watching a kitten play while chasing a laser pointer is a lot of fun for humans and kittens. The rhythm fits the action of your poetry story. I felt a closeness to the kitten and could imagine all the energy and dashing about. This poem put a smile onto my face. My heartfelt good about the sending. Time to catch a breath.


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9
9
Review of Death!  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Death!
Your title got my attention enough for me to read the description.

I wasn't dead, but nobody believed me!
That's interesting because of the lack of belief. Why would this be? I needed to know and had to read your story to find out.

The "what happened to you" was my first thought and this kept my interest so I continued to read. I thought, maybe a heart attack, stroke, or brain bleed? Then perhaps a lightning strike came to my mind, but this was unlikely.

Everything written about the conflict and struggles was believable because of this happening to people for various reasons. There have been stories about people believed to be dead and unable to signal they are alive.

I was able to follow the details and they flowed past my mind's eye like I was watching a movie.

At first, I didn't realize that the person was still alive. As the story moved forward and the descriptions of efforts trying to move or blink or open eyes It was clear the person was alive and desperately trying to get people's attention. This conflict of being alive and not able to do anything to signal life made me feel the hopelessness and despair as well as the determination and desperation to be recognized as living. The will to live was shown to be very, very strong.

I thank you for allowing me to read and review your story. Please keep writing and sharing your stories.
Safe travels and many blessings.

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10
10
for entry "First writings
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
"A little book of descriptions" Has very vivid imaginative pictures of what you have viewed. I was able as I read about the different topics to visualize and understand what you were sharing with me. The Cat and Cat 2 were especially interesting because of the way you showed the action. The claws being needles for example. All the animals you described in their daily living were brought to life for me.

I did have a bit of trouble with the spacing because of all the white space. Fortunately, I scrolled more and realized there was more treasure to be found.


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11
11
Review of Tiny Dancer  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the imagery you used because I could picture this event as I read your word art.

Your poem showed a vivid picture of the first flower of spring which was anticipated with brought to my mind the feeling of anticipation and also the feeling of being anxious for spring.

Because I like nature, gardening, and the beauty of Gods coloring book, I can very easily relate to your wonderful word picture.

Your poem brought to my mind my sister because you mentioned purple.

Reading this poem makes me hope that we have a very long spring. For several years spring has been fleeting like the first flower of spring that you mention in your poem.

I can see the first flower of spring dancing as it sways in the wind. The snow being scattered and described as lacy now tells me that this snow will not stick together which usually means it will not be on the ground and flowers for a long time. This is a great fit for the coming of spring.

I wonder if you had more to add to this poem. I'm not saying to change what you have. Perhaps creating something from your poem could blossom into a fantastic short story.

Adding more may take away from this word picture, but for me I felt like I hit a wall in a way because it was so interesting that I wanted to read more about the coming of spring.

I appreciate being able to read and review your word art. I hope you continue to write and share your stories. Allow your imagination to have a party and be creative. I wonder what you will develop?

Safe travels and many blessing. Write on!


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12
12
Review of Kalamity  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
imagevfor group
         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a PDG member of DWG "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP
Title:
Kalamity I'm on a quest to learn more about steampunk. I found your word art with a interesting title. This caused me to wonder what happened and why.

Description:
It was the first of its kind; a promise of the future.
I wondered what this was and what the promise possibly promises might be for the future. Wanting to learn more about the genre and having these other questions spurred me onto reading further.

Picture
My first reading of this story felt more like reading a narrative. It wasn't until the third reading of this story that I began to feel like I was in the story. You painted a good picture of things in general which was enough for me to get the ideas. Part of being immersed in this scenario was most likely getting used to the writing style. I can now picture many of the events even without reading. It is sticking with me which is for good because I can more accurately review for you.


         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The steam ponk theme of your story because it is one of my interests for learning to read, write, and review this genere.
Your writing style is different and something for me to learn about from the point of a writer from another country. The language is refreshing and gives me a view of the social interactions compared to those of my country USA. I was able to understand the terminology and enjoyed the quips.

plot:
The three opening lines left me with a question mark over my head. Tic toc I took as something to do with time and breathing I had no idea. Who were these people? This information seemed to be floating in outer space with very little connection or meaning. Because it was short and I saw below that the story had many more lines I continued to read.

The next paragraph is a puzzle to me because I get that metal is involved, [hull] gives me a clue that this may be a vessel and water may be involved.

Are you describing his job If so it took me four times reading this information to grasp this idea? Right now I do not get the connection and could have stopped reading but I was curious.

The telegram information about it floating before his eyes gives me enough information to understand how vivid he was able to see this information. Displaying the words of the telegram I understand is a word picture of what he was but, aside from repeating about the telegram, it for me doesn't forward this story. this paragraph added enough information for me to continue to read.

The paragraph about him telling Aunt B about his job and introducing the commander and some spice and interesting information to the story. I could feel his pride and bit of see antie I can do this and well kind of attitude. The commander seems important and capable.

Light bulb moment here. It seems you started your story with the sinking and deaths of the crew. The bits about aunt b were possibly thoughts or a dreamy state as he was dying? The one clue that helped me tie this together was your reference to his eye rather than his eyes. You mention later about how his one eys was badly injured.


The ending felt like a heavyweight. This worked well because of the idea of the water pressure upon the vessel.


Theme:underlying meaning/message
too much confidence and not enough respect for nature can lead to disaster.

Rhythm/pace:
As I became more accustomed and familiar with this story I felt it move along well. The narritive was at first a bit slow but than as the pieces started fitting together and I was able to be more in the story it went well.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose
MAybe writing a story in steampunk hosting a well rounder thriller with interesting characters.

feelings
It took a while fir me to get to know the characters, story and immerse myself in this world, but after getting comfortable and familiar with it I felt completely at home and enjoyed what I viewed in my mind.

Conflict:more/less
the conflicts between Edmond and Aunt B, Edmond and crew members, Edmond and the sub and ocean all added realism and interest to the story. It was well balanced, showing through fiction truth, and moving the story forward while keeping me interested in reading. The action is believable and the interaction between characters worked well. I enjoyed the well-balanced conflict.

CHARACTERS

Believability
I was able to believe the characters and see them in action.

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
I'm glad to have been able to find and read your story. It had a lot of interesting events, characters, and the scenes were realistic.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
I hope you continue to write and share your stories. I appreciate reading your wrod art and being able to review for you. Thank you for your creativity and for making it available on WDC.
Safe travels and many blessings.

I want to help writers as much as possible improved their word art skills. My focus is to write the very, very best reviews possible. Please let me know how I can improve upon this review for you and if I missed anything, thank you very much.

*ThumbsUp*


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13
13
Review of A BRAND NEW DAY.  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your title got my attention because I wanted to know what you meant about a brand new day.
Your description further intrigued me and stirred my curiosity more, I had to read your word art.

I really liked the blessings you wrote about along with having the gift and blessing of a brand new day. It was exciting to know how you feel about the LORD and I felt the uplifting spirit in your word art. *Smile*

A change that would add variety to your story is to use I less to begin the sentences. This would add variety, and keep the reader interested in reading.
For example, you could change this: I then smile and thank the LORD for the brand new day.
to this:
Smiling and thanking the LORD for the brand new day I... what how do you feel, what is important to you? What would you want to share about the LORD in this sentence?
or
The LORD puts a smile on my face for which I'm thankful.

I look forward to reading more of your word art. Thank you for sharing and allowing me to review for you. I wish you and your family safe travels and many blessings. Please keep writing. Let me know if you have any questions. I'll be glad to help.

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14
14
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
imagevfor group
         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a PDG member of DWG "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP


Description:
My Counselor inspired me to believe I could end my addiction. Her words became this poem. I like stories of inspiration.
Picture
Your word picture showed courage and determination.

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The positive afirmation and encouragement you received for your counsler. You believed what your counsler told you.

plot:
Overcoming addiction and facing the temptations to return because of stress or other life issues and prevailing.

Theme: underlying meaning/message
If you believe you can't you won't. If you believe you can you will.

Rhythm/pace:
reading your poem was smooth and i was able to focus on the story.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose

feelings
The feeling of hope that everything works out ok.

Conflict:more/less
The challenge of beating addiction.

CHARACTERS
Addiction versus human is believable to me because I've read about this and have experienced withdrawal symptoms because of pharmaceuticals.

Believability
This is believable because I've heard similar stories about varied situations.

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
not now
         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*
Keep focusing on victory.

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
Very nicely written.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
Thank you for sharing, allowing me to read and review for you.
Write on!
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


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15
15
Review of Am I haunted?  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a PDG member of DWG "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP
Title:
Am I haunted? Words in titles should be capitalized. Am I Haunted? I don't know and am curious to find out what the answer is and what's going to happen.
Description:
You move into your new house,you start noticing weird things but your not hunted....right?
PictureYour word art is off to a good start. The picture is nice but it can be make much better with a few tweeks and additions.

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The premise of your story is a start for exploring the "what if?" questions writers often ask as they develop their word art. Depending on your intent, of this being a narration or something else there are some considerations. If you are talking to the reader to tell the story this is ok, but if you are intending to show what is happening which is what most readers are interested in reading then some changes should be considered.

I like the start of your idea. This can be shaped and molded into a very interesting story that would catch and keep the reader's attention so that they continue to read rather than put down the book.

The question posed about being haunted or not is interesting because it can take the reader in a few different directions throughout the story depending on how the characters and events are created.

There is plenty of room for exploration into the characters, the events, the setting(s), the conflict, and whatever else may come to mind during the story development.

plot:
Your description of your story works well for a sentence that states what your story is about. Thinking about the what-if possibilities, consider how best to formulate a sentence that would excite curiosity, questions about what happens, and what if you were looking for a story to read that would grab and hold your attention what would need to be included in this sentence.

Theme:underlying meaning/message
I'm not sure about this because there is room for more details which could show the reader a great adventure, excitement, conflict, and other things similar to our life experiences,

Rhythm/pace:
By showing using short sentences you can speed up the pace of a story. By using longer sentences you can slow down the pace of a story. The pacing of speeding up or slowing down impacts the rhythm.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose

feelings
While reading your story I was able to get the idea which I thought was good. My mind was able to wander a bit. I needed to focus more on concentrating rather than on what was happening in the story.

Conflict:more/less
Some conflict about being haunted or not helps but it can be strengthened by adding character information, why the move, what type of house, and what happened, other life events and experiences will come your way as you think about "what if".

CHARACTERS

Believability
The potential for believability is reachable when you get to know your characters by doing a character interview. Ask questions about who they are, what they do, how they look, interests, jobs, strengths, weaknesses, follow where ever your imagination goes and use what you can in this story and save the rest for another story.

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Why did you start writing this story? What if it was different? How do you think the reader perceives the setting, characters, storyline, and other factors? Where can you make changes to bring this story into a move active scenario? How can you make the characters more like real-life people? These and other questions can be asked to further develop and improve your story.

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         

You and your friends are all sitting at the table ready to summon a ghost with change the article a an Ouija board as you start joining hands you start wondering how you got here and you start visualizing your entire day starting in the morning.

If this is a narrative or you the writer is speaking to the reader this approach can work. However, changing some of the words, the order, and sometimes the means by which the story is first presented to the reader can be a make it or break it situation.
Do these characters have names? If so I would try this. Consider personalities, names, and other things about the characters.
Who is the main character? Who are the supporting characters?
This is my suggestion and example of showing rather than telling a story.

I'msittingwith friends a seance table ready to summon a spirit who, why, what is going to happen? by joining hands over an Ouiji board. Wondering how I who is this? what do they what does this character want and why?got here as I daydream about my day.

This introduces the main character, supporting characters, setting, action, and tells a little about the main character's personality or state of mind.


*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
I've given a lot of thought-provoking information because the potential of your ideas can blossom into a very intriguing and perhaps mysterious and scary word art picture.

Please let me know about any questions you may have. You and your story can go anywhere your imagination is able to create.
Let me know how things are going. When you are finished editing your story, tell me, and I'll be very happy to change the rating. *Smile*
Thank you for sharing your word art, and for allowing me to read and review for you.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


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16
16
Review of I Am  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a PDG member of DWG "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP
Title:
I AM
I remember this contest challenge. I am curious.
Description:
We all have strengths, weaknesses, and out and out flaws...these are some of mine. I wondered what you wrote about based on your description, how you would approach the subject, what you would reveal--or not, and your philosophy or ideas?
Picture
What a picture you painted! You also stirred ponderings of why and considering the human condition. The positive and then the negative was a mix of bright colors intertwined with darker colors but I figure that if these colors were carefully blended and placed carefully within the picture you would have a masterpiece.

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The comparison between the good and not so good with the carefully chosen words to frame the ideas and show you were human rather than a robot.

Hopelessness that shines like a light...
And brings the unsuspecting in and onto the rocks


I like this because it is a startling awakening statement that brings me to view closely the frailties of humans. We are fragile beings who seek to fulfill many basic needs and desires yet often we crash among the rocks either by the design of self-destruction or because we do not see or didn't see the parrels into which we were headed. It caused two reactions/emotions one of a downtrodden feeling like the feeling of defeat, and the other of finality, but there was also the element of recovering from this disaster by belief, faith, and determination.

Trying hard to be a better human being
Yet I despise our species immensely


I understand and can relate. I appreciate this statement because it points out to me that humans are destructove distructive yet constructive and able to build and create even though we manage to destroy nature and wreck relationships.

plot:
You are a good plot for this poem. You have shown well the tug of war many humans have throughout their lives. Heart and soul went into this creation for expressing the dreams, needs, and other aspects we all desire in life with the contrasts of what we most have looming that we do not want to pop out and express itself.

Theme:underlying meaning/message
I don't know exactly why you painted this word picture. I can guess and relate but the meaning can still be obscure. Definitely, this is a comparison of what and how humans can respond to life. Pøssibly you may have responder to thinking about life and creating word art in this way which could change on any given day depending on the circumstance. Human's point of view does change as situations and experience became a part of our history and personal activities. Deep within like it or not humans can be very good or very evil. We are able to choose and our choice creates our life experiences and consequences good or bad. This you have written about you and us humans. You are definitely human.

Rhythm/pace:
Excellent! I was able to enjoy reading your poem and consider the thought-provoking issues shown in your words.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose
Most likely this was written for the I AM contest. Yet, I believe it was also written as an exercise in exploration, sharing feelings and desires, express and show the challenges of life, share thoughts on the human condition, and show who you are and what challenges you.

feelings
I was interested in the way you wrote and the word placements and choices. The ending hit hard but not enough to be a crushing defeat. I found hope because even though it seemed final, being aware of the circumstances and how the light attracted for example a bug you and any human mostly, could redirect the course. Sadly there may a few humans who would not be this fortunate.

Conflict:more/less
Yes, there were plenty of conflicts. They were evenly balanced and of a good comparison.

CHARACTERS
Plenty of characters who battled valiantly and some with evil intent.

Believability
All of the emotions and possibilities are believable because I/you/humans have had these or similar experiences at one time or another.

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
This poem is very deep and I suspect I have only tapped the surface. I wonder how deep this goes? And, I wonder how deep and far humans are capable of going. These questions came forth because of reading your word art.

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
Relating to this piece was easy. You showed the good, bad, beautiful, and ugly of how humans including you and me can be depending on our circumstances, and our choices can relate to life and our world. Brilliant colors mixed with dark colors can sometimes muddy and detract from the positive choices yet we are all prone to take the easy route rather than go a little further toward a better and more satisfying situation.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
You have a unique and expressive way with words.
Please continue creating and developing your word art and sharing it with readers.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


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17
17
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP member,
Title:
Application For Refugee Status
The title didn't catch my attention much although I was curious enough to read the description.
Description:
{i]With their home planet destroyed, these alien refugees offer us more than we do them.
Your description got my attention because I wanted to know who these aliens were, where they came from, and what they offer..
Picture
the picture you create with word art is exciting, imaginable, and informative.

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
The interactions between the alien ship computer and humans. It showed aliens willing to help humans and humans being stubborn about technicalities in an emergency situation possibly because of politics or some sense of being proper.

plot:
The plot has good escalating drama and action. It moves along well with enough action words to keep readers in the story.

Theme:underlying meaning/message
Politics about prim and proper details required regardless of the circumstances without cause is a recipe for disaster.

Rhythm/pace:
The story flowed well, escalating action and purpose for dealing with the crisis kept my interest in reading to find out more.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose
Showing that things aren't always as they seem and also that sometimes it is beneficial to be more flexible.

feelings
I could feel the stress of the situation from both parties. It was sad and unfortunate that the earth people in charge were so short-sighted, determined to be deliberate in the requirements, and not want to investigate and consider both sides of the situation.

Conflict:more/less
I liked the conflict between the alien ship and humans plus the conflict on earth because it was life[like and showed what probably would happen if this had been a real event. The tension mounting toward the end of the story gave it energy and momentum for the final outcome.

CHARACTERS
The characters reacted to the events the way I would expect in military fashion. The alien ship computer seemed to be very sophisticated which showed the advancement of the aliens, the reality of this was well done. Humans in charge on earth responded like those in charge and having responsibility would have, making them a believable part of your story.

Believability
They are believable but I would have liked to know a bit more about their personality either through body language or through their speech patterns. What do they look like? How do they move and why are they in their particular jobs? Do they have any fears, doubts, talents or special abilities that could have helped in your story?

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Details about the planet the aliens left would be interesting. What are these beings like, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? How do they move, talk, think about leaving their home planet?

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
Carefully interlacing telling the story and showing the action worked well for me. I was able to stay in the story like watching a movie. The speech of the characters helped show the action and intent of each character. Some insight to the body language would support the story issues and actions making the scenes stronger and more interesting.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
I enjoyed your story because it had a nice variety of activities and events showing how aliens try to find their home on earth but humans aren't able or ready to welcome them. Therefore, the aliens take matters into their own hands via the computer and invade earth.

So now what happens, are you going to add to this story? You could add information before and after the events, you wrote about and have several chapters or even a novel.

Please continue to create your word art.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*



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18
18
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
imagevfor group
         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work to welcome you to WDC.
Title:
Testing, Testing, part 1
The title didn't grab my attention, but...
Description:
Frank creates a device that allows him to speak to a man from another dimension[/i}
Your description caught my interest because I wondered who Frank spoke to in the other dimension.

Picture
Your words showed the action so that I could follow the events as if I were watching a movie.

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
the active words you used kept me interested in your story. They showed the action and because of this I could feel and imagine the excitement and other emotions well.

plot:
The plot worked well because you were consistent and organized in the unveiling of the events.

Theme:underlying meaning/message
You don't know who you'll find at the other end of a radio transmission. Surprises lurk where you don't expect and you may find something hostile.

Rhythm/pace:
The pace and rhythm worked well together. There were enough action and explanation to have a nice balance.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose
Sharing a story about what may happen that we least expect. Showing people curiousity may get us into trouble we don't want to meet.

feelings
I was able to feel the excitement of having someone at the other end of the radio wave and the dread of learning about this unknown person who is being chased down warning of great danger.

Conflict:more/less
The conflicts were well balanced between human interactions and the narrative.

CHARACTERS
I liked the characters, found them believable because I could relate to them and their challenges, and because they were created thoroughly for this story.

Believability
They acted in a way that is believable.

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
Have you considered expanding this story?

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
Why is Frank interested in contacting someone via his device?
Does he want fame, adventure, recognition, is it because he is following a conspiracy theory?
Is he following in his father's or someone else's footsteps?

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
I enjoyed your story very much and look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
Please keep writing, your word art is alive and interesting.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*




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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
         *RainbowL* WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU *RainbowR*
Group/purpose:
I am reviewing your work as a member of disABILITY Writers Group "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP
Title:
A Promis Is A Promis
I wondered about how these words were viewed by people as time, cultural beliefs, and personal beliefs changed.
Description:
What's your word worth? The value placed upon one's own shows integrity & depth of character.
This struck a note to me because I grew up with the belief that a person's word was their bond.
Picture
Your word picture was vivid and lively. It reached out to me and gave me a hug because I believe that a promise is valuable when it isn't carelessly misused.

         *Bell* PORTFOLIO VISIT *Bell*
I enjoyed visiting and roaming through your portfolio. I want to visit again and read more of your stories, poetry, and other writing.

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
I really liked the way you structured the words and phrases of your poem because of this it evoked life and deep meaning about a promise.

plot:
Promis(es) are for this poem a great character for the plot. The responses to promises show a story of honor and betrayal.

Theme:underlying meaning/message
Your story poem resonated clearly that when you make a promise and keep it has great worth, but when you break a promise it of very little value and can even ripple bad feelings.

Rhythm/pace:
The rhythm and pace worked well for me. Your words flowed smoothly as I read them.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*
Writer's Purpose
You shared your beliefs about promises with readers. Word art which you use to explain the values and betrayals about promises are important to you.

feelings
I felt wrapped up in your words because they spoke volumes to me and were familiar because of my beliefs gifted to me from childhood.

Conflict:more/less
The conflict was well balanced and explained.

CHARACTERS
You presented "promise(s)" well because it had two options and characteristics which would either give joy or sorrow.

Believability
This is believable because of your well-told story and my life experiences that helped me relate to your character "promis(es)

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*
None at this time.

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         
I enjoyed reading your word art in poetry form. Thank you for writing, sharing, and allowing me to read and review for you.

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*


My thoughts and Impressions:
I encourage you to continue writing and sharing your word art.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*



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20
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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
When It's Over is presented vividly. The emotions surround me up close and personal. I can feel for the person talking and the person being talked to as their emotions are shown. It occurred to me that perhaps this is about talking to the reflection in the mirror or talking to someone face to face. Either way it is plausible and realistic.

The emotions showed the feelings of the speaker giving me a close view and experience of what she may be thinking and feeling. It also showed me that the other person was having issues with the direction and outsome of this final meeting. THe silance said more than words could convey

The plot a sad and emotional life experience for two people who would never see each other again or would be apart for a very long time is something that I can relate to because of my life experiences. It is simple and to the point without a lot of unnecessary fluff and fillers.

The pace fits the action. I didn't feel it should be faster nor slower. I wasn't wondering when things would move along or hoping things would slow because I was trying to understand and process the story. For me it was just right.

The sentence structure is smooth and easy to read. I was able to remain in the story.

Punctuation, grammer, and other technical aspects I ignored because I was interested in the word art, the story and focused on the action.

Thank you for writing and allowing me to review your story. I look forward to reading more of your word art.
Safe travels and many blessings.


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21
21
Review of Disabled  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can feel the life and emotions. SHowing what happened is like watching it happen in front of me as I read. I will definitely make certain this is published in our news letter. I can tell you that you're not broken, you're alive and able to do. God has rained blessings on you.


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22
22
Review of Disabled  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I can relate because I was told many times "you can;t" or You can't do that, it's unrealistic", or someother form of (i wasn't able to do whatever it was).

As I read your story, I thought about the situation which rang true because many people who has challenges are in many cases considered not able or of having worth. I could feel your discouragement and hopelessness and helplessness through your words.

I also am aware that often through VA services people do not get the same quality management and treatment of their situation. This is very sad and unfortunate because these people gave their all or almost their all. They should have better treatment and honor.

"You will never be able to hold down a steady job. You'll be dependent on the hospitals and the government to take care of you."

These words came from *red*Anan *red*Armyarmy Judge Advocate General or JAG officer (lawyer) told meas he prepared my papers for discharge. I was being discharged because a previous head injury often caused me to get confused if I was{/}trying to do something the thatrequired multiple steps in the process. Nobody said "We can retrain another area of your brain to take over the functions of the injured area."


How did you feel during these times? What were you thinking about doing?

All they had to say was "You're broken and we can't use you."

Were you ready tp explode, give up, or prove tham wrong?

I believed the lie that I was broken for a long time. After all, multiple doctors and lawyers had told me that I was broken and could not be repaired. I lived the lie for decades before trying anything. I became addicted to drugs and used the little bit of assistance I got to buy drugs or otherwise have my way.

would you be able to start 1 or 2 of these sentences with something other than I*******? For example:

Living the lie for decades...and then you could combine this sentence with the next sentence.


Then somebody believed in me. what happened, how did you feel about this?

I was challenged to get an education. I got my GED and finished at the zero percentile in my class. Zero percentile means there was no other person in my class who scored as high on their GED as I did. I followed that up with an academic associate degree magna cum laude, which is Latin for "with very high honors". This was followed by an RBA from Marshall University and I am currently working on an M. Div. degree/ chaplain's track. Right now my grade point average is 3.83, high enough that I was given a scholarship covering 50% of my tuition. Am I disabled? I have a traumatic brain injury, bipolar I disorder, and I am limited by a bad back. So yes, I am disabled. I am not broken, however. If you are disabled, never let them count you out.

This made me feel elated that someone helped you see things differently and encouraged you to believe in yourself. I'm glad you accomplished all of these activities. Please consider changing a few of the "I" in the sentences and starting the sentences differently. This will remove the monotony and help the story flow better.

How do you feel now comped to before you were shown a different view and challenged to believe in yourself and start striving toward your highest potential?

What words of wisdom do you have for people who live with disABILITIES?
Do you believe that given the chance and finding the right abilities to match with the right lifestyle that people living with disABILITIES have great potential and that they cann live productive lives and be independent?

Thank you Marvin for writing this article for our DWG news letter. You have a great success story. I'm very glad you shared it and am allowing me to read it, review it, and submit it to our newsletter for publication. Please let me know if you have any questions. A;so, after you edit this piece, let me know and I will change the star rating for you.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you. I expect the newsletter to circulate on or about the first week of October.
Safe travels and many blessings.


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23
23
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
My goodness, you definitely have the guidance of and from God to write this article. For me this was part reminder especially the last paragraph and it also was information from a different view. Although it was something I knew, it also was refreshing, uplifting, and a great reminder about prayer, God, and how to consider the things of God.

The story about the person in the tree put a "i get it" type of smile on my face. You're absolutely right to point out this situation as a reminder and for people who do not know or understand about God and prayer, and miracles.

For me miracles are a matter of what's happening, why, and who from, no matter the size shape or kind or timing.

I have oftern pondered about miracles and how much or what kind of human action may be needed or noty. What you wrote about this was an eye opener because of whatyou stated and the point of vies, mostly your knowledge base and your life experiuences.

{step out on faith.} I would have written "step out in faith" I think both actually apply because we can be in and have belief on faith. What words of wisdom do you have about this?

One more interesting part of your article is that you mentioned about God's will and Him not moving unless it's humanly possible to do something. True almost. Sometimes it is a matter of timing which is always God's timing because He is ultimately in charge of evverything, and it also can be a matter of although humanly possible sometimes we humans need God's guidance and strength to accomplish something. Another possiblilit is that although God doesn'tneed anything from us, He may want a better abd stringer partnership/friendship with us si He may require us to participate.

The stepping out in faith I've lived. This is why I'm in Arkansas now.

Thank you for writing and sharing your article. Thank you for allowing me to read and review it for you. Please continue to write and share your word art.
Safe travels and many blessings.


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24
24
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow, LW, what a question(s).
It was like a magnet and me the metal being drawn closer and closer together. I felt I should read this poem, no...I had to read this poem. This was divine appointment of the writing and reading kind. I very much appreciate being able to read the writing you shared with me. It is uplifting. This requires a deep look inside to ponder and search for the answers to the questions posed before me in your word art. It is in fact a friend, you, and the poem, encouraging me to reach out and stretch forth my every being to uncover that answers and know the truth and understand that it is the truth that will show me the way I should go and what I should do.

I will need to return to your poem later to revisit these instructions, to do more searching, and to learn from God more details of what He would have me to do.

This is a very precious gift, one that begs for my full attention. My every nerve and cell is alert and I know that my eternal life depends on finding these answers and others so that I can be who God intended me to be. With His help and yours, I make another step in the direction of being formed into the person I should be for God's glory.

Thank you for writing and sharing your words so that readers can ponder and learn about what God offers. Thank you for allowing me to read and review your word art. Please write as often as you are able so that you can with might give readers delight.

Safe travels and many blessings.

Viv
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP


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25
25
Review of Bits of life  
for entry "Bits of Life
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow, what a surprise everyone received. I such a surprise has yet to enter my life, however, I've had other surprises. What were the reactions of the different family members? How did things turn out? Where did this happen? What was the area like? Did this result in a good outcome or otherwise? What are your family members like for example outgoing, adventuresome, or something else?

I hope you are thriving and the word art is flowing. Thank you for sharing your blog with me and allowing me to read and review it and learn about your family and the surprise.

Safe travels and many blessings.



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