*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vpbanjo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
Review Requests: ON
1,914 Public Reviews Given
1,916 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 14 15 ... Next
226
226
Review of A letter to Cupid  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You told Cupid where and how to go for sure. The showing class part of your poem, caused me to laugh, thank you.

Adding more genres such as [holiday] for Cupid Valentine's Day, [adventure] because it is an adventure in poetic words about Cupid's holiday stuff, and perhaps [entertainment] because your poem is entertaining.

Thank you for writing about Cupid stuff and sharing it with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
227
227
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can relate because of how I feel after reading this peace. I am okay, but it seems now that the emotions of being a bit confused, lost, and wondering what can be done have me thinking this is quite a heavy load. Also, I think about how I can help someone in this situation. Being overwhelmed is something that happens to my friend and I try to help by suggesting possible solutions. Overwhelm tried to get me but I usually am able to find a different view of a situation. Your writing definitely caused me to think about the many situations that can befall someone.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.

Safe travels and many blessings.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
228
228
Review of Clouds in the Sky  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You painted a wonderful word picture of days filled with clouds, few in number and many creating a blanket that I could see in my mind as I read your wonderful story. I could hear thunder as a storm of clouds let down the rain. I could imagine them dancing in the wind or just hanging around.

Thank you for writing and sharing your cloud word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
229
229
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You certainly have imagined plenty of unique areas and creatures. I would need to study all of this to understand everything and get an idea of relationships/locations. This idea has the potential for some exciting events to move your story forward.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
230
230
Review of I Remember  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Wow, I really felt the sorrow, frustration, rage, conflict, and other emotions through your words. It's sad to whatch a loved one forget. Still, I believe somewhere in their heart they still love their loved ones.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
231
231
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I could see the eagle souring in my mind. The scene is easy to visualize and I imagine the smells of spring as I walk along the path with you through your words.

[I come up an eagle souring] to me seems a bit awkward.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
232
232
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is eerie and unsettling because of where it appears to be going, but I think that's the idea. The characters are believable. The scenes are easy to visualize as the characters act and respond to situations. It makes sense, except for the sudden jump toward the end where the father never walks again and Geoffery meets a mysterious and dark apparently spirited man.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
233
233
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I appreciate this list because it is a very good reminder to me which will help me keep my writing and my story structure on track.

2. has a typo
4 should be [what comes...]
6 has a typo

Thank you for writing and sharing your word art with me and WdC readers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
234
234
Rated: E | (5.0)
The ending made me laugh, many thanks. I could see the mind tugging this way and tugging that way. I could hear the taste buds cheering for sweets and then changing to cheering for veggies. I could feel the struggle between what is healthy and what is satisfying.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your veggies and sweet word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
235
235
Review of Do You Hear That?  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I certainly understand about hearing issues. This story is funny because of the quick additions to coverup what could result in a major fight. It also shows that even when there is challenges love is stronger. I could see in my mind, hear the conversation, and imagine the scene.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your funny word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
236
236
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your words showed me how much you love, honor, and cherish Angela Lee who is your favorite vet, your wife. I thank her for her service. I know your wife more now. I'm glad you two are together.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
237
237
Review of winter.  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You showed a wonderful picture of winter activities through your poem. Some possibilities for [fireplace} would be to consider the sound of . You could use face, race, space, place, grace, or other words. After [warmer]] you could place a comma or a comma and finish the thought on the next line. I'm not looking forward to winter but I really enjoy the warmth of a wood stove. A fireplace is nice. Are you familiar with an RMH?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
238
238
Review of Clarion Cry  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, a weight landed on me as I read your words. The hurt and anguish along with other emotions are woven through your poem showing the trodden-down spirit left quivering after years of assault. I could imagine the words spewing out into the air and hitting you. You duck and yet they still hit their mark.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
239
239
Review of Time for a Change  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading your poem because it had a bouncy rhythm and also because of the ending. It resonated when you wrote about switching to a Mac. I could see the events and feel the frustrations. Life with computers is a challenge, but for me using a Mac works best.

Thank you for writing and sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
240
240
Review of Dear Me (2022)  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have great ideas for the coming 2023 year that people should consider adding to their list of things they want to change for the better. I agree with writing more. It is creativity that causes the brain to grow and be active. Creating word art is a fantastic way to show readers the stories that matter to you; from you.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
241
241
Review of Pride  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
At the beginning of your poem story, it seems that denial is what is foremost in the actions of the person experiencing these feelings.

Then, there seems to be a change in thought about this situation; as if this person clung to something to make a positive change, perhaps a life-changing change for the better.

But then it is back to the old ways of being.

Please consider adding [personal] possibly, {dramatic] because it has drama, [dark because it seems to be dark, [tragity] because of the tragic situation, or some other genre so that readers can find your word art easier.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
242
242
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the me, myself, and I approach. One thing to do when writing is to get the words written no matter how sloppy because then you have the ideas/the story. Later after the critic and editor come back from vacation you can edit. But getting the story written is important, especially for NaNo. I've participated in NaNo and understand the necessity for writing the story. NaNo is near so don't fear. In 2023 give it your best and see the words flow as the story grows.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
243
243
Review of The Triangle  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You created an interesting but detectable twist to your story. I was wondering if the swindlers were going to be swindled. Your story is believable, the characters are memorable and believable, the twist will stick with me for a while, and the reading experience was very mice. My guess is that there is something special about this vault, the wall, and the bank entrance. There should be another access point within the bank, but it could be well hidden from the public. What drove the brothers to rob banks? Why did the bank employee decide to figure out how to outsmart the bank robbers? Why did the employee need the extra money, or was this pay in secret for an undercover job? Was everyone involved relieved it was over or do they want revenge? That silent alarm: I guess no matter how well you prepare for doing something you can't forse everything.

{c::grape}Did you use [crazy] twice in the same sentence for effect?

[more selective about their insideman} Did they find someone new, or did they very strongly impress upon their current insideman the need for special care in preparing for each bank robbery?

disposible phone = burner phone

As planned and exactly as planned takes me out of the story because of distraction. Your story would have a greater impact by omitting these words, or omitting these words and adding new ones.

...'t hold breath for the money. Is this for effect or did you leave out [your] accidently?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
244
244
Review of Drowning  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
As I read your last statement about not having a choice, I felt myself going down. It was a slipery slide to your dramatic ending about trying to save the one who would not be saved. Your poem reminder me of God and all He has done to save humanity. I could feel and see through your words the events you wrote of and expressed emotions you must have had. I do not know how you feel, but I can understand based on my experiences the helpless ness, desperation, and other emotions that stayed with you while doing everything you could for this person.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.

You could add personal, drama, or tragedy to the genres.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
245
245
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Frost, Jack Frost: wow, what a way to end this story. I chuckled. I was so into the story, I didn't see this ending coming. I should have picked up on the clues but didn't. Oh well! You wrote a very nice story.

There are several genre types you could add or change so that readers are able to find your story much easier. Action/Adventure could work because being trapped in Denny's could be quite an adventure especially when meeting strangers. Mystery would work because of not knowing the stranger and because of not knowing a budding romance may be in the making. Drama because being in a storm can bring drame to people who are frightened, have medical issues that require meds left at home, or because of being trapped with strangers. There probably are other genre that will go well with this story.

The storm looks like what? Show the storm by using descriptive words relating to wind, snow, ice, temperature, and people's reactions to this storm. What do the roads look like and what are the results from this storm? Are cars stranded for example?

By finding words to paint a picture you are showing the reader the story like showing a movie. Word pictures keep the reader interested.


Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
246
246
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You created a nice visual with the words. I noticed that as the situation changed so did the configuration of the sentences.

The end of your story had a great impact on me because you mentioned tears of sadness and then you mentioned tears of gladness. I'm very glad your mom has family members she knows now. This is an uplifting story. It is sad at first but, the ending is fantastic. I could feel and visualize these events.

Would you please consider changing [contest entry] to a different genre so that potential readers can find your poem story more easily?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
247
247
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You retold the story of the prodigal son very well because of the elements included, the placement and choces of the words, and the rhythm. I enjoyed the repetitions because they brought forth the intensity of the hatrid which caused sadness within me. This sadness became gladness because I know the rest of the story.

Two genres that could work for your story are [cultural] because it is based on the biblical culture, and [dark} because hating one's brother is a kind of darkness. Some other genres might fit. Adding specific genres helps bring your stories to the attention of potential readers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
248
248
Review of THE COUCH"  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I could feel the love and respect for He who makes these things in your poem possible. It is a positive story of grace and mercy which uplifts my heart. I'm glad I found your item because it made me feel happy. I can relate to your words as I also have sat still and pondered these special things.

..spirit [dwells] would work better and be smoother to read.

when you use [gave] you are to my understanding saying He is no longer giving, right or do you mean [gives] as continually giving?

In your last line, you have a space between the word and the comma.

Also, In your last line; it would be easier to read by changing [desire] to [desires]

I'm not sure what you are writing in the last part of the sentence. Do you mean [praise] and [reverence] is what He asks from us?


Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
249
249
Review of In My Lane  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really could relate to your story because with God all things are possible including staying you your/my designated lane. It's similar to the statement, "Don't get out of the boat." Yes, indeed I get it. My heart jumped for joy when I read your story, thank you. And, yup I'm crazy for my Lord Jesus. Praise and glory to God for my salvation. I appreciate every day He has made for everyone. I appreciate He inspired you to write this story.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
250
250
Review of Time  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading your poem because it is a new form to me. I also enjoyed the way the words played together. It is different from the usual rhyming of many poems I have read. I learned something today thanks to finding your poem through [read and review].

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1,086 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 44 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vpbanjo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10