*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vpbanjo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9
Review Requests: ON
2,000 Public Reviews Given
2,002 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 5 6 7 8 -9- 10 11 12 13 14 ... Next
201
201
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your description is a nice add on for your story. It helped me understand everything more clearly. I could visualize the characters, events, and scene when the sisters spent time together and found love for each other.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
202
202
Review of Behind Bars  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Seeing in my mind an innocent man behind bars and no one believing him is the picture you showed me with your words. Watching him plead for justice to find him innocent, yet people did not hear shows me the unbalanced justice as she blindfolded over sees court proceedings. A man walking the streets, gusty or maybe innocent comes to my mind. All this I view like watching a movie.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your legal/justice or injustice word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
203
203
Review of Voices Echo  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The many voices and sounds, and the visuals, and the strangeness of the nightmare is vividly shown through your words. My imagination created through your words images and sounds of the night, those creepy and strange visions and sounds haunting, the nightmare.

Thank you for writing and for sharing nightmare word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
204
204
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the "even when we're apart, I'm always with you" because it is what God does for me/us, and because there are times when I can only be with someone in spirit. It is possible to be with someone in your heart which also applies within my reasons for liking "even when we're apart".

The encouragement and care shown through your words add greatly to the strength and uplifting of a persons spirit. Your words show to the character whoever this is and to the reader that even when we may be apart from some we rely on they can be with us in many ways and that we are stronger than we think we are.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
205
205
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Visualizing these events was easy. feeling the warmth, seeing the blue sky with the bright golden ball hanging brightly and high above me in my mind made me think about the days of clouds that no longer covered the suns beauty. Your words showed me a wonderful day. Gratitude is my response to such a glorious day that God has made.

Thank you for writing and sharing your word art about a nice sunny day with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
206
206
Review of Aunt Rhonda's  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Your characters are believable and act normally. The story is also believable but short, however I understand. I would like to know more. Perhaps you will add emotions, actions, and more information developing an exciting story that keeps people reading.

Thank you for writing and sharing your contest entry word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
207
207
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoy music. until reading your item I hadn't known about lyrical binding. I should probably research this further. While reading this I thought about how words and music together convey ideas and affect emotions.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art about music and lyrical binding with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
208
208
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I visualized you on your journey. Each scene was vivid. I could feel the excitement of going on this journey and when you visited the hospital I could feel sanded and for the lack of another word, horror because of the severe i injuries. I appreciate your bravery sharing your story.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
209
209
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
As I read your poem I thought about the moons dental relaxing light. The light in a way can be a night light and also the prelude to the next mornings brighter light to guide us when we are awake and active. The rhythm gently carried me through your poem. Your words worked well and showed me details of the events like watching a movie.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art about the moon with me and WdC members bees.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
210
210
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your words smoothly guided me through your poem. I enjoyed the rhythm. I think a lot of this can be for games as well as for life lessons because with sourness people need to be aware of what is happening and the reactions to the events.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
211
211
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Your review of this book has piqued my curiosity. Perhaps I will read this book after reading several books that are awaiting my attention. You explained thoroughly enough about how this book effects you and why it is worth reading.

Thank you for writing about this book and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
212
212
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You created an amazing plot that I really enjoyed reading about. I could believe the characters because they acted realistically. The scenes were positively believable. In my mind I could see the details. You showed me an situation that came to life like watching a movie.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your believable word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
213
213
Review of Yuba  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I understand the empty feeling and loss of a beloved pet. Bella my service dog was more than a family member to me. I'm glad Yuba had a full wonderful life being loved by her family. Yuba seems to be a rare name, I like it.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art about Yuba with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
214
214
Review of RACCY  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I remember the raccoon in our family. My sisters hubby had it as an adult. S/he seemed friendly enough but you had to be careful. Your story showed great characters and their actions. I like that you shared about a raccoon not being a cuddly pet because many people do not have the knowledge or skills to handle this animal safely for them and the animal. Thank you for the memories.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art about Raccy with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
215
215
Review of Morgana's Colors  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a dark and sad story about people with harden hearts who see not what they are doing. When I read about her seeing white I hoped it was something beneficial, but alas, it was the beginning of the end. You wrote about this persons life but you also showed how everyone has a ripple effect upon one another. What we do or do not effects others. I believe we should be aware of how we conduct ourselves because it effects everyone eventually, you know, the ripple effect. I could see the actions and events clearly. Your characters are believable as is the situation.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art about this sad situation with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
216
216
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Her, the detective already knew who? My question is answered in the Danny studied paragraph. So far I am able to follow the story but it is jumping around and I believe this is what the reviewers are having issues with so far.

{the cleats things} sentence isn't necessary and for me it detracts from the story and is a distraction. The second sentence if started differently and with the word is inserted, this sentence would tell as much if not more about the cleats.

Now that I'm getting the feel for the rhythm of your writing style, the jumping back and forth is less distracting and it feels better. I would recommend finding a smoothness or more gentle way to make these changes because a smooth journey keeps the reader reading.

Crossing the street carefully? What does that look like? Why, she has cleats? Is she being careful because of tipping off her mark?

Danny would know what? This question is keeping me engaged and invested in reading more of your story. So far I know a little about the characters, but I'm not invested in them yet. The story and characters are starting to come alive and I'm gradually warning up to them.

The paragraph about Hunter easily/quickle spotting the rest of her other marks is confusing. Her marks are needy and apparently Hunter is helping them in other ways while stealing from them or so it seems. Or, are her marks and the people she is helping different people different marks? She reminds me of a female RobinHood.

This was all about giving not about taking has finally made this story more clear. I like the challenge of your writing but for some readers it might require more thinking and figuring things out than they want to do or are accustomed to doing. clarifying events better in each paragraph could be helpful to readers by adding a little more information. Asking questions about the story and characters cN HELP YOU GET TO KNOW THE STORY AND CHARACTERS BETTER. BY KNOWING THE STORY AND CHARACTERS BETTER YOU CAN CREATE SENTENCES SHOWING CLEARLY WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWING THE READER TO HAVE MORE INTEREST IN INVESTING TIME READING AND KNOWING THE STORY WILL ADD TO THIS INTEREST. Oops caps lock, my bad.

The story is flowing better for me and I'm curious about what happens next.

His was brimming with not tears, but probably his eyes were glistening as tears were emerging and his voice wavered, how about something like that? It's your story, I just couldn't resist because my imagination demanded freedom, thanks.

Don't give up Santa has his ways and Danny bounding down the stairs...is this history? It seems a scene in the past explaining why she plays Sants pickpocketing in re verse. Then suddenly the reader is propelled into the now. Tears down their cheeks is hunter and the man tearing? This jolt can drive readers away because it can be confusing or it can be too much all of a sudden. Are you finished showing why Hunter is giving? If not jumping from this and then back to it again deletes her and her motives. What and why does she do this?

This is a possibility:
Can...I'd like to ask you some questions.

Ok, now it's coming together in a heart felt manner. Things are mellow but seem to be joyful. The guys tears are blurring his vision what is her feeling inside? What is his body language. I ask the same about the detective?

The inter action worked well. The conversation drew me further into the story and it made sense. It even hinted of romance which for many readers would wet their appetites for more to this story. Iike the ending when she tossed his wallet to him, good going. I could see the wallet flying and him catching it.

Your story is five stars based on plot. But the creativity of the structure is a bit weak and needs more information to strengthen the structure. I believe it is well worth taking time time to make it better, so when you are able please edit it and let me know when a new version is available, thanks.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
217
217
Review of Old Route 33  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You made my nerves tingle with this tail of haunting of rout 33. I could see the characters in action especially vivid was Billy and his reactions to the haunting dreams and his experience as traveled through the wooded area of rout 33. It seemed real and was spooky.

Thank you for writing this story which reminded me of the twilight Zone and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
218
218
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your characters are believable and realistic but you know, I know them so I might be a bit oh, what's the word...we;; anyway I could imagine the action, the emotions, and feel you wrote a story of humdrum to happy excitement and joy. I certainly relate to the positive attitude about WdC and living a happy life.

Thank you for writing and for sharing you joy and happiness with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
219
219
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
You introduced me to some unique and interesting characters. I could follow their exploits through your words. Your story idea has great potential and kept me reading. I suggest as you let your imagination free to craft this story that you ask questions such as who did what, when, where, why and how. Asking questions helps you get ro know your characters so you can bring them to vivid life for the readers.It also helps you know more about your story.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
220
220
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A safe house inviting and wonderful a picture of perhaps a church image in my mind as I read your word art. Another image in my mind a house warm or cool depending on the season safe and inviting. Hands reaching with wide stretched arms ready to hug and protect. Feeling at peace and enjoying my journey as the words guided me on my journey.

Thank you for writing and sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
221
221
Review of Shackled  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow this is a very dark yet compelling piece. Your words compelled me to keep reading. It was as if I were in this situation and could not escape. The rhythm kept me moving from word to word as I discovered the evil and sinister menace driving the character to hateful and horrible deeds.

Thank you for writing and sharing you word art with me and WdC members about the dark deeds and entrapment of living a horrible existence.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
222
222
Review of The Locked  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The plot idea could become a good story because you can add emotions, actions, and other elements. Punctuation also would make reading your word art easier and more enjoyable.

How do these people feel about being locked in? Are they angry, afraid, or have other reactions. Do they work well together? What body language are they using? Do they grit their teeth for example or make fists? What is the town, place where they are locked up like? Is it cold, hot, or other temperature and does this affect the out come of the story?

When writing and capturing the essence of stories it is a good idea to ask questions. Getting to know your characters through asking questions is helpful because the more you know your characters, the better you can show their lives and interactions in your story.

Please let me know about any questions you may have. I hope you craft a fantastic story with scenes, characters, and other elements that read like watching a movie. You have a wonderful beginning. Keep going and let the story and characters do what they want; go with the flow. Do can do this!

Thank you for writing and for sharing your plot idea with me and WdC members.
Write On! *ThumbsUpGreen*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
223
223
Review of Good Again  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I could see in my imagination Frankie in bed destrozar and afraid. I also could see his parents concerned about his welfare doing their best to help him through this challenging time for all of them. Your words smoothly led me through the story with no distractions. I enjoyed reading and and especially liked the ending because the day turned from bleak to sun sining and the pancakes a wonderful meal.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art about Frankie with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
224
224
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You dove deep when you wrote this poem. I believe there is a reason for everything that we might or might not know. Understanding may or may not reveal its self. My belief in God is upon a string foundation. These are the thoughts which came to me as I read your word art.

Thank you for writing and sharing your word art about looking for balance with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
225
225
Review of Falling  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well written with emotions and adrenalin rush taking me from event to event in this falling story. I fell for each vividly descriptive word and followed the descent line by line as I floated toward the earth with no hope of salvation until almost the last second of breath. The emotions flooded every second. I could see the falling character and also see the earth becoming bigger and bigger until I could almost touch it. The relief of the parachute opening was over whelming which I felt as the story ended.

Thank you for writing and for one exciting adventure through your word and sharing it with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1,134 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 46 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vpbanjo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9