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1,223 Public Reviews Given
1,228 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give reviews the way I prefer to receive them. Honesty, thoughts for improvement, and identifying strengths are aspects that I prefer from others, so I give these things in return.
I'm good at...
I can pretty much review anything, whether poetry or short stories. My favorite genres to read are horror and the odder side of fiction, but I am open to reading other genres. If I do review a genre that is not one I particularly enjoy reading, then I am most likely going to review it based on the structure, rather than the content.
Favorite Genres
I tend to gravitate toward writings in the dark genres. With short stories and novels, horror is my favorite. With poetry, I prefer writings that display raw emotions. If your writing tackles a subject that people find offensive, I might like it.
Least Favorite Genres
Christian literature, Western, and Children's. I will NOT read or review anything that consists of XGC material between minors and adults or encourages abuse as acceptable behaviors.
Favorite Item Types
Dark poetry, horror, emotional, autobiographical, erotica, psychology
Least Favorite Item Types
Horror is one of my favorites to read and write. Also, poetry that tackles intense subject matter interests me.
I will not review...
I WILL NOT review anything that encourages abuse as acceptable behavior or includes XGC material between a minor and adult. All review requests asking me to read whole novels or later chapters will be rejected. The reason being is that I can not give a fair review of chapter 3 when I have not read the chapters before that and, the time allowance when requests for reviews are made does not allow for enough time to read a whole novel.
Public Reviews
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Review of The Field Trip  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
*Rolling* Yep, she misjudged that universal finger sign! Your understanding of comedy elements stands out in this one. It was an entertaining read.

*Snow1* Strengths
The whole time travel thing was interesting how you portrayed it. Their misunderstandings of history was a unique concept. When you explain that they thought cars were for controlling the population, it kind of builds up for that funny ending.

That joint rolling symbolism with the young man gave me a giggle, and of course so did that ending.

Interestingly, the way that you chose to name the futuristic characters adds to their character development. It would make sense that the names would devolve with the removal of a vowel or two. After all, it is already happening with many of our words in our time period.

*Snow1* Suggestions
You seem to have forgotten all the grammar and punctuation in the first sentence.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was a fun read. It gave me a good laugh at the end and a few chuckles on the journey there. It was a creative and interesting use of the prompt as well.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Tech!  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
Madge is like a lot of people that I know who have swore off Facebook and have a love/hate relationship with technology. Even I, who am online constantly have made those comments about Facebook. I mean really, like I care what someone had for dinner last night. Unless it is some gourmet meal, in which you share the recipe, it really is stupid.

*Snow1* Strengths
I had a good laugh with her love/hate relationship with the car. By the way, structurally, it was smart to add in those telling details about how she disliked technology between the car's speaking. It kind of adds a build up in the story.

You add a little twist in the middle, which is challenging to do with such a short write. The twist is when we realize that she is supposed to be going to the city, but she is now in the countryside. Then that shocker at the end was a surprise ending, which is refreshing.

*Snow1* Suggestions
I am not sure why you have the question marks in parentheses. It would make more sense to the story of you changed those areas to internal thoughts, leaving the appropriate end punctuation.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
I enjoyed your story. It had all the elements a short story should have, yet you had very little words to work with to accomplish it. Great job.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
203
203
Review of Upgrade  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
This is a creative little story you have twisted. It was a fun read.

*Snow1* Strengths
You hook the reader in the beginning by jumping into the actions of the story, rather than giving long drawn out telling descriptions.

You handle dialogue really well. There is a lot of character development in the dialogue. Words spoken are also includes more natural speech, rather than seeming overly formal.

The plot is interesting and you show it well. There are plenty of hints in the beginning with the empty box without giving too much of the plot away. Then there is a nice little twist when we learn that the voices in his head is coming from an alien.

Structurally, this is written well. I could not find any grammatical, punctuation, or spelling errors. In addition, the story flows from subject to subject smoothly, without any confusing bits.

*Snow1* Suggestions
There needs to be a little bit more of a twist. Half way through we already know that he is being inhabited with the alien, so I expected some sort of shock at the end, but there was no twist at the end.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was an entertaining read. I just wish there was more of a twist at the end.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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204
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
We all know how much you love your chocolate *Bigsmile*. I enjoyed reading this fun little poem about your true love, chocolate.

*Snow1* Strengths
This was a light and humorous read. While others are complaining about being alone on Valentines, you are dreading having to share chocolate with the woman of your affections.

Structurally, this is written well. Meter is consistent, which helps the poem flow without the reader fumbling over any areas. Rhymes are consistent with your chosen abab rhyme scheme.

My favorite lines are the last two stanzas. As the reader, I suspected what the conclusion would be, but that second to last stanza could be leading different ways, like the temptation of chocolate, but those last two lines summarize the poem perfectly by stating that you just don't want to share *Bigsmile*. Those last two lines put a smile on my face.

*Snow1* Suggestions
This is written well and I have no suggestions that would improve on the poem.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was an entertaining read. I just might love cheesecake like you love chocolate. I am known for hiding the last few pieces.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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205
Review of Croix de Guerre  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
As the cliché goes, never judge a book by its cover. Your endearing tale shows that beautifully.

*Snow1* Strengths
What I like most about this story is that you chose a female hero. It seems that on the day that we were to read military items, I ended up running into an abundance of tributes to men who fought in wars. So, reading your little tale was refreshing.

The priest is someone that we can relate to. We have all at one time or another prejudged someone. Unfortunately this is the attitude in a lot of churches, which is the fate of this awesome woman.

I appreciate how you made her character humble. Interestingly, those that I have met who are heroes to some degree are humble, because the remember those that they lost more than they saved.

The imagery is strong in this writing, especially when you describe the woman. I could see her face softening, looking prettier, even with the scar.

The history that you gave was interesting and something that I was not aware of. I am going to have to look up some information about these great women.

*Snow1* Suggestions
Excellent story and I have nothing to offer that would make this even better.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was an endearing story with an important lesson and I enjoyed the read.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of I Like Marigolds  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
Oh my! *Shock2* Apparently Granny has been taking lessons from King. What a wonderfully twisted and horrific tale.

*Snow1* Strengths
Ok, Yes, I am warped, but I just loved Granny's character. I envisioned her as this emotionally strong and battle worn old lady. She was someone that I would want to sit around, drink tea, and get some life lessons from.

You did well showing how abuse plagues through generations in families. It is an unfortunate reality and apparently Granny figured out a solution. Well, sort of, I guess you could say she was a part of another cycle, one that kills off their sons once they turn fifty.

It was interesting how the daughter in-law was not freaking out about her husband's death that would be occurring soon. It was almost as if she was welcoming it and instead was sad to see her mother in-law die.

Structurally, this is written well. I could not find any issues that I tripped over.

*Snow1* Suggestions
The part where Granny is going to read the King story pretty much told the plot for me and it would for most horror fans. Without that obvious hint, this story would have more of a surprise ending.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was a great horror story. I enjoyed your twisted tale of a woman scorned.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Miguel's Duty  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
What an emotional tale of a true hero. This was an action packed and emotive read.

*Snow1* Strengths
I can't help but to wonder if Trump was your muse for the president. It does seem like you envisioned what it would be like if a minority were to have to protect him with his life. The sexist bit and racial comments comes to mind when I think of Trump.

Miguel's character is well developed into this amazing father, who cares about the country enough to protect its president, even if the man in power apparently has no respect for him or his culture.

The action in this had me on the edge of my seat. I kept thinking he was going to die. A Mexican man taking a bullet for a bigoted president would have made a strong statement to the reader. What irony that would be. Though, I grew to admire and like Miguel's character, so I am glad that his life was spared.

The fact that the gunman trying to kill the president were white, made a good contrast with Miguel, showing that we should not judge by the color of someone's skin.

*Snow1* Suggestions
This was excellently written and I have no suggestions.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was an emotional and powerful read. Thank you for sharing your imagination with me.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.
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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
For a straight man, you sure are not afraid to dive in to gayness with your writing *Smile*. Obviously you are observant with the world around you and must do plenty of people watching.

*Snow1* Strengths
Well, I knew this was supposed to have a supernatural aspect, but I was unsuspecting of what that was exactly going to happen in this story. Those cold hands could have meant dead as in ghost or vampire.

The personalities of the characters shows a lot in the dialogue. Ken's teasing by calling his new friend "B-B-bobby" makes him look more relaxed, instead of all stiff like. It is easy to imagine Bobby as mousey because of his shyness and his comparison to Ken.

Poor Bobby, such disappointment for him in the end. At least he has eternal life *Bigsmile*. Something tells me they just wanted something to make fun of.

*Snow1* Suggestions
“Do me now, big boy. I wanna live forever!”- I am not really fond of this dialogue. I not that you were sharing your quirkiness, but it seems kind of cliché, like the tall dark and handsome phrase.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
You have woven an interesting story. It is quirky like you and a fun read.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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209
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
This was a fun read! It was funny and a creative use of that month's prompt. It was definitely fitting and festive for the Christmas season.

*Snow1* Strengths
I loved how you used the whole robot thing to replace Santa. I mean, after all, everything else us humans used to do seems to be being replaced by mechanical devices. So, why not Santa?! I had to laugh when the cyborg went into her spiels about all the political correct stuff.

You show how the kiddos suffer quite a bit, which in some ways you could equate to today. Like the whole gender neutral and politically correct stuff is damaging to the Christmas holiday, it does kind of suck the life out of childhood.

Mrs. Clause has quite the tempter, which is understandable since she they are not compensating them for monetarily for the change over. Mr. clause seems to be more even tempered, but it becomes obvious that he was just scheming all along.

The little jokes equating the robot to Terminator were cute. They gave me a giggle. it showed that there was a little bit of personality built into that cyborg, too.


*Snow1* Suggestions
Excellent story and I have no suggestions that would improve on it.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was an enjoyable read. Thanks for the giggles.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Malaco Malone  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
This was an entertaining read and a great use for the contest prompt. There were some good submissions that particular month, including yours, that made it a challenge to judge. Luckily good ol' Charlie helped me decide, yet again. By the way, I noticed that you wrote his name into this one.

*Snow1* Strengths
Be careful of those sweet little girls, they might have a taste for arson *Bigsmile*. There is a lot of good character development in this. By the time the detective reaches his demise, the reader has a close relationship with him. We see the inevitable, but hope that he is not going to suffer any dark fate because we like him.

It was smart beginning this with playing on people's priest stereotype of being a pedophile. Even though there is a hint in the beginning with the fire, the reader is distracted, thinking maybe the priest might have had something to do with it.

The little twists in here, like the guy from the hospital calling, builds this story. I kind of suspected what was going to happen, mostly because of the prompt picture. Without the picture I would not have figured it out. Though I might have suspected with the little fire hint in the beginning.

That ending I loved. I mean who doesn't love a good story where a pedophile most likely gets murdered horribly in the end.

*Snow1* Suggestions
Very typical of you, the writing is well edited, so I have no suggestions on ways that you can improve on this.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was an entertaining read. Thanks for sharing your imagination with me *Bigsmile*.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of "We Can"  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
This was very emotive and a wonderful dedication to those who have fought for our freedoms.

*Snow1* Strengths
The repeated words, "we can" brings a lot of emotion to this poem. In a lot of ways when I read those words out loud, it brings a sense of pride, which I am sure was your intention. It is as if you are expressing that they didn't give up and continued the fight no matter the cost.

My favorite lines are those four closing lines. Expressing that "we can" have freedom because of these brave soldiers was a perfect way to conclude this poem.

Rhymes are consistent with your aabb rhyme scheme, without seeming forced. When read out loud this reads beautifully, almost as if it should be sung.

*Snow1* Suggestions
You are an excellent poet and this is a well crafted poem, so I have no suggestions that would help in improving this already great poem.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was a powerful, inspirational, and emotive read. It was a beautiful tribute to those who have fought for our country. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words with me.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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212
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
I don't know about funny, but the story itself is very heart warming. Well, the dog lover bit gave me a chuckle though.

*Snow1* Strengths
I love how you tell this story, showing how you wanted to be left alone, apparently caring about the dogs more than people. I can relate to that, because I am a hermit too. Like you, I could care less about what my nosy neighbors are doing. Going by the ending, I'm assuming this is non-fictional.

Dialogue is done well. I get a strong sense of who these characters are by words spoken and body language. The guest who eventually becomes your friend seems more proper, especially since you just are originally introduced to her last name, but eventually she seems like a sweet lady.

I like how you mix the relationship of the dogs into the relationship with the friend. Their love did truly bring together a great friendship between you two. I imagine there are other segments of your experiences together somewhere in your port, or at least the end suggests as much.

*Snow1* Suggestions
This is well written, so I have no suggestions for improvement.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was a sweet glimpse at how two people can become friends by a dog being in heat. It was an entertaining and heart warming read.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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213
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
This displays something that a lot of people can relate to: A fear of spiders. I kind of like the little guys, that is if they are not poisonous, but I understand how one would have such a fear of them.

*Snow1* Strengths
Dialogue was done well as far as words spoken. They follow normal speech patterns, rather than seeming too formal. The personalities of the characters shine through with the dialogue and body language used.

The dynamics between the son and mom seem realistic, which makes the story believable. Like the mom in the story, I often call my son to take care of pesky things, but my fear is those big water roaches.

The story flows well from subject to subject without any confusing bits to stumble over. The grammar, spelling, and punctuation looks correct as well.

*Snow1* Suggestions
The issue with this is the plot. It is suspected. What would have made it more interesting is if she walked around ignoring the spider because she thought it was a joke only to find out it was real. Or, she freaks out and it is something silly. Anyways, there needs to be something that surprises the reader.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This is written well and many can relate to it. I enjoyed your little glimpse into someone with a fear of spiders.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Talked to Death  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
Hahaha, Well that is a way to cheat Death! Cute story!

*Snow1* Strengths
There was a lot of character development in the dialogue. Death's impatience with the man is clear. Then the man's annoying behavior and lack of understanding is funny.

The dog poo thing was a nice comical touch. Ah, poor Death getting his robe all nasty like that. Then the man's over concern with his carpet, ignoring the impending doom is funny.

That ending was a surprise, which is refreshing. It also added to the comedy of the writing, because it makes it seem as though the man was the last straw.

*Snow1* Suggestions
There needs to be a little clarity with why the man is being the way he is. Death suggests something about maybe he drank bleach, but we never really learn why the man is not getting things very clearly. There could be a lot of reasons that you could add in, like maybe the man is intoxicated or has smoked a lot of marijuana. You could easily add this element into the dialogue.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was a light and fun read. It gave me a good chuckle. Thanks for sharing your sense of humor with me.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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215
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
*Ha* Well, I suppose he got out of that one! Funny.

*Snow1* Strengths
There is a lot of character development here for such a short write. The annoyance was shown clearly in the character death. I felt like I was watching a silly television skit, maybe from MAD or something like that.

I like how he just casually tells Death to get him a dictionary. The nonchalance of it all is pretty comical. Of course we learn he is so nonchalant is because his soul is already taken anyways. Then ending it with Death doing pretty much the same thing works well with this and makes for the perfect conclusion.

Structurally this is written well. I imagine this was written for a dialogue only contest possibly. You did well making it clear who is speaking without the whole "he said" or body language. As a matter of fact, through the dialogue I could imagine the body language. Of course, the writer would seem all unaffected by Death, ignoring him, while Death keeps getting more annoyed.

*Snow1* Suggestions
This is a well written dialogue story, so I have no suggestions to offer that would improve on it.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was an entertaining read. Thanks for sharing your imagination with me.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
*Bigsmile* This was cute. I like how you personified your username.

*Snow1* Strengths
There is a lot of character development here, even in such a short write. I am thinking that the Hoove's human is you somewhat. The description of the annoyed human makes me think of a cartoon. You know when they get mad in cartoons and their ears begin to steam and eyes bug out? That is the kind of image I got, but with the addition of profanities being spoken.

The plot of Hooves getting stuck in the library was interesting. Then that little twist at the end gave me a giggle.

Grammatically and structurally this is written well. There were no confusing bits to fumble over.

*Snow1* Suggestions
Honestly, I could not find any fault with this. It is a well written story, so there is nothing that I could suggest that would improve on it more.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
I enjoyed the giggles. It was light and humorous. I'm interested in reading more adventures of Hooves and her human. Thank you for sharing your sense of humor with me and I look forward to reading more around your port.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
217
217
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Image for GoT




I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
*Ha* Good thing your dad is such a great cook! I can so relate, my mother can not cook either. Her favorite thing to cook was meat loaf held together with instant mashed potato flakes *Vomit*.

*Snow1* Strengths
The plot, I am sure many can relate to. Not all mothers know how to cook, obviously. There are some comedy elements to this. For example, the hot dogs blowing up in the microwave.

I kind of felt sorry for your mother with the noodle issue. Apparently nobody told her to make sure the water is boiling before putting the noodles in. The soggy outside and hard inside is what happens when you put them in the cold water, before it starts boiling.

For the most part, this is grammatically correct. Paragraphs flow smoothly without any confusing bits.

*Snow1* Suggestions
There is more telling than showing in this story. In other words, you tell us what happens. By showing, you would need to add dialogue, scenery into the actions, and more visual descriptions.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was a cute story and many, I am sure, can relate to it. Thanks for sharing this humorous aspect of your mother with WdC.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
After all the emotional reads yesterday in the medical genre, having a good laugh with your story was refreshing.


*Snow1* Strengths
This was hilarious. That little smoking distraction was good, because I so did not expect that punchline.

Structurally, this is well written. Paragraphs flow smoothly without any gaps that are confusing. Dialogue is done really well, showing plenty of character development. You also avoid the overuse of "he said" and "she said" and instead utilize a lot of body language.

The relationship between the husband and wife was realistic and somewhat stereotypical of marriages. Her concern for him was also a distraction, because it is easy to assume that a wife would be worried about her husband's smoking and be annoyed by the smell of it. The whole bit of the husband being reluctant to go to the doctor is pretty stereotypical of men and then so is the wife being pushy about it. These characteristics made the story believable.

*Snow1* Suggestions
Honestly, this is well written and I could not find anything to suggest that would improve on the writing.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
I enjoyed the good laugh. Thank you for sharing your humor with me.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House"  . Welcome to the biggest review war her on WdC, "Game of Thrones" .

*Snow1* First impression
This is a story that only a dog owner could fully appreciate and I am a dog owner. I got a good chuckle from this story.

*Snow1* Strengths
That whole bit in the beginning with the conversation between you and your husband was a good hook for your story. It is a comical reality of pet ownership, or at least those who really care for their pets enough to pay attention to their health.

Yes, that whole poop deal is important when evaluating the health of your pet. I remember laughing at the chart in the Veterinarians office that shows different dog poops from healthiest to less healthy.

When you mention how your dog stares at you, waiting for you to pick up his poop so that he can get his treat, it makes me think of my boyfriend's dog. He does the same thing on sidewalks. You can take him for a walk somewhere and he will not go. Then we can be sitting at a coffee shop outside and he will go under the table and poo. I just don't get it *Bigsmile*. Luckily mine just likes to find a tall weed to hike her butt up on, so at least she goes in grassy areas.

This was well structured and a comical read that us dog owners can fully appreciate. Poop does become a topic quite often. Like you mention, it is not much different than having a child. Poop is a topic quite a bit when you have a new baby.


*Snow1* Suggestions
Honestly, I could not find any errors in this. Structurally and grammatically it is well written.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
Well, be thankful your dog doesn't eat tampons and underwear. We have learned to leave the bathroom trash and laundry up high, because mine likes to eat used tampons and chew the crotches out of women's dirty underwear. Dogs are gross, but you gotta love them.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of An Angel  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House" ! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones" 

*Snow3* First Impression
This is a very emotive poem that shows the emotions of a parent who struggles with dealing with a child with cancer.
*Snow3* Strengths
I love the way you repeat the lines with the words "white". It strongly reinforces the aspects of innocence, which is fitting since this is a young child.

When you mention, "I thought i would give her her wedding pearls", there seems to be a realization that at some point Cancer will take the child.

I noticed that the shape of the poem seems to take the form of an angel towards the top. I don't know if that was your intention, but it actually is an interesting aspect of this poem.

*Snow3* Suggestions
You repeatedly use the word angle, rather than angel. Angle is a shape, but angel is the winged celestial being *Wink*.

In this place my baby girl lays down. - this is a sentence fragment, so I would suggest either rephrasing or adding a comma after the preceding line.

But then her little laugh only makes me cry,- There needs to be a comma before "but", not a period.

*Snow3* Final thoughts
This was a sweet and emotive poem. It is sad that so many innocent children have to face such a circumstance and your poem expresses those emotions clearly.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of A DIET OF NEGLECT  
Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: E | (4.0)
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I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House" ! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones" 

*Snow3* First Impression
This is so true. So many foods actually cause illness, yet we continue to eat them. Actually caring about what we eat can be a good preventative from disease.

*Snow3* Strengths
When you mention the excuses of other causes, I think of the medical field and how they give a pill for everything, when sometimes, like you express, simply eating healthy could be better medicine.

You share a variety of illnesses that are created by the way we eat, which interesting, the do go hand in hand with each other.
*Snow3* Suggestions
There are a few areas that I feel need to be expressed better. You mention, "Let's not spare the overfed", but I am thinking that you were trying to present that people put more stress on the underfed, so the line conflicts.

Also, "must our diet protect" seems forced because of the repeated word "protect" and the reversal of the subject and predicate.

*Snow3* Final thoughts
This is a great poem about the importance of eating healthier foods. Like you express, healthy eating habits can keep someone from developing many of these diseases.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House" ! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones" 

*Snow3* First Impression
This poem clearly shows the ignorance within both views. No wonder it is such a controversial subject. It was refreshing to read something on such a controversial topic, where the writer writes it, showing all sides, as if they are an observer looking in.

*Snow3* Strengths
Rhymes flow really well without seeming forced. You even use some less commonly used rhymes such as "stillborn" and "shopworn".

The writing is literal and to the point, which is fitting for the perspectives that you are presenting.

Like you express, there are issues with both points of views, which of course is why it is a difficult subject for anyone to agree on.

I like how you use a birth analogy, "stillborn", to explain how the two find resolve between each other. It is both fitting for what happens in abortion arguments and fitting to the subject of the poem.

*Snow3* Suggestions
Honestly, this is a great poem as is, so I have no suggestions on making it better.

*Snow3* Final thoughts
I appreciate your open-mind in looking at all sides of the situation. This was a great read.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Spooky Echoes  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House" ! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones" 

*Snow3* First Impression
We have something in common. I also was there with a parent watching them die. Like you with your mother. For me, this poem gave me goose bumps because I remember the feeling of reflecting and seeing the contrast in their demise.

*Snow3* Strengths
You use enjambment well here, which heightens the emotional reaction in the reader. Analogies are unique too, which is refreshing. In the beginning of the poem, when you reflect back, the analogy used really shows the pain that you feel when you look back. It is as if you have painful memories that you tried to forget, but you can't seem to dust them away.

Then that second stanza is haunting, because it further explains the unwanted memories. Since the oxygen concentrator is a ghost, the reader knows that someone is dead. Then it is shocking when we find out that it is your mother. You show how amazing she was by expressing that she was a single mother who raised four children on her own, yet you keep seeing her dying in her bed.

*Snow3* Suggestions
This was an excellent free verse and I can not find anyways that I can suggest to make it even better.

*Snow3* Final thoughts
Like your mother, my step-father (whom I considered Dad), was also a very strong person, but like you, I always see him gasping for breath in a bed. That is an image that is difficult to erase from the mind and you display the emotions perfectly here.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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224
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House" ! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones" 

*Snow3* First Impression
This was an emotional write and as one who does not suffer the disorder, I get a strong understanding of the emotional struggles one faces.

*Snow3* Strengths
The emotive qualities are the strongest aspects of this poem. The whole bit about blood explaining the visual and how it tastes, really sets the stage for this poem. Then when you go into how it is to live daily dictated by your blood, the life restricting qualities are really shown. The part in church where the machine beeps inside your bra kind of informs the audience as well as shows your embarrassment.

I like how you use enjambment to intensify emotion. For example, the area in church, putting church line after checking the beeping in your bra, rather than before gives a little bit of an emotional shock to the reader. If it were reversed the affect would not be the same.

*Snow3* Suggestions
This is an excellent poem, so I can not come up with anything to suggest that would make this even better.

*Snow3* Final thoughts
Your vivid words and analogy in this poem were moving and really helped me, as the reader understand the emotional struggles of one with Diabetes. Great poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Scarlet Fever  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I am Warped Sanity of the White Walkers, sponsored by "The Witch's House" ! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC, "Game of Thrones" 

*Snow3* First Impression
The imagery presented here greatly personifies what scarlet fever feels like to the victim of it. I have not experienced the ailment, but by reading your verse I have a strong understanding of the intensity of the fever. Though, it also seems that there is an underlining meaning to this poem. It is as if you are equating it to lust.

*Snow3* Strengths
There are a lot of emotive qualities in this poem that bring the reader into the shoes of someone who is suffering from Scarlet Fever. The comparison with looming in reference to the rising body temperatures was a very creative analogy.

"Seems it's always been her
I fumble every pass"

The above lines give signify that this might be about lust *Bigsmile*. I do love a poem that really makes me think.

*Snow3* Suggestions
You use the analogy about fireflies and flames which is cliche. Going by the rest of your poem, I can see that you are creative enough to come up with a more unique analogy. Using cliches diminishes the emotive qualities of the poem.

*Snow3* Final thoughts
This is a great poem with apparent dual meanings. I love how you compared Scarlet Fever to lust. Excellent poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person.It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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