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Review Requests: OFF
1,142 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give reviews the way I prefer to receive them. Honesty, thoughts for improvement, and identifying strengths are aspects that I prefer from others, so I give these things in return. Rising star award
I'm good at...
I can pretty much review anything, whether poetry or short stories. My favorite genres to read are horror and the odder side of fiction, but I am open to reading other genres. If I do review a genre that is not one I particularly enjoy reading, then I am most likely going to review it based on the structure, rather than the content.
Favorite Genres
I tend to gravitate toward writings in the dark genres. With short stories and novels, horror is my favorite. With poetry, I prefer writings that display raw emotions. If your writing tackles a subject that people find offensive, I might like it.
Least Favorite Genres
Christian literature, Western, and Children's. I will NOT read or review anything that consists of XGC material between minors and adults or encourages abuse as acceptable behaviors.
Favorite Item Types
Dark poetry, horror, emotional, autobiographical, erotica, psychology
Least Favorite Item Types
Horror is one of my favorites to read and write. Also, poetry that tackles intense subject matter interests me.
I will not review...
I WILL NOT review anything that encourages abuse as acceptable behavior or includes XGC material between a minor and adult. All review requests asking me to read whole novels or later chapters will be rejected. The reason being is that I can not give a fair review of chapter 3 when I have not read the chapters before that and, the time allowance when requests for reviews are made does not allow for enough time to read a whole novel.
Public Reviews
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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

A holiday image on share for reviews



Funny poem! Thanks for the belly laugh.

First thoughts

My first thoughts after first reading this, after I had a good laugh, was wondering what kind of voodoo they practice in Chilli. I've studied quite a bit of it, but I am ignorant to the practices in Chilli. Most of what is practiced in the United States is mixed with Christian aspects.

Imagery
The imagery is pretty strait up, telling a story, rather than using metaphor. It works well for the comical aspect you are trying to achieve. I got a vivid image of this man dancing with a chicken and falling in poo. *Bigsmile*

Rhyme and flow
Rhymes are consistant without seeming forced. Though, there are a few issues that make me trip a little when I read it out loud.

Remember the chilli she does create- "Chilli she creates" would flow better

Folkses- I don't think this is an actual word. Did you mean folks?

Final thoughts
This was a fun read. I had a good laugh, which was obviously it's intended purpose. Thank for sharing your gift of comedy!♡


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Review of A Sandy Funeral  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

A holiday image on share for reviews



Excellent job painting the disturbing reasonings of a sociopathic mind. At first after reading this I was confused, then I remembered he met her at the beach and now he is burying her there in an unmarked grave.

His excuse for everything he does is so matter of fact, which is chilling and realistic to the mental process of such an individual. Now he has found a new love and one can conclude what her obvious fate is.

This was a cool little introduction to a frightening individual. I could see his character being used in a longer story.

Thank you for sharing your dark imagination with me. ♡






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Review of The Idea  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

A holiday image on share for reviews



With my tablet, for some reason genre and previous story ratings are invisible to me. So, since I could not see the genre, I was surprised more so by the outcome, especially since what you mostly write is horror.

This was an interesting take on those who carved the presidents into that mountain. Those who onserved, must have thought they were insane. Also, like you mentioned, it must have been miserable working in the heat and cold.

The only issue I see here is that "said" is a little redundant. You are an excellent writer, so I would encourage you to improve it even more so by incorporating other descriptions to explain speech, or better yet show the story more by including more body language instead.

I enjoyed your imaginative peek into the past. Thank you for sharing your writing. ♡






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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

A holiday image on share for reviews




This was hilarious! I (almost) feel guilty getting a Yule tree this year.

The author names was a good touch. Very creative.

You do well with dark satire. In the letter there is a hint at horror with the murderous descriptions. With the tree personified, it is easy to imagine a human telling the story.

Great story! Thanks for sharing your imagination with me.



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205
205
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This was a sweet little dedication to Grackle. It almost makes the bird seem majestic.

Imagery
Most of the imagery is strait forward. Reading it, I imagine going on my porch each morning to observe the beautiful bird. It is a beautiful experience watching these creatures.

Rhyme and flow
Rhymes are consistant and for the most part the poem flows well. I only found one area where I tripped a little. The reversal of the subject and predicate in the first line of the third stanza throws the poem off a bit.

Mechanics
I didn't find any issues with grammar or spelling.

Final thoughts
This was a lovely little poem that leaves the reader with a peaceful feeling. Thank you for sharing your writing. ♡





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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi there! I'm finally here to conduct your reviews, which were purchased as part of your package in the Holiday Cheer Raffle. This is a lovely little dedication to the beauty present in nature and a great use of the prompt words.

First thoughts
On my first reading of the poem, I was carried to a peaceful place, experiencing the all the beauty nature displays. Even as nature destroys your garden, the bird shares a small memory of its beauty as he spits out the rosebuds.

Imagery
In the beginning I imagine, due to your words, an exquisite flower garden, for which you were rightfully upset when it is destroyed.

The personality of the bird, looking around in disqust at the end is comical. I imagine those were your emotions when the flowers were destroyed.

Rhyme and flow
The poem flows beautifully when read outloud. Rhymes are consistant, without seeming forced.

Mechanics

In the second to last stanza, you seem to have forgotten punctuation with the third line. Then in the last stanza "glares" should be "glare". Other than those two issues, this seems error free.

Final thoughts

I really liked this poem. It was sweet, beautiful, and a bit humorous.


Thank you for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed the read. ♡







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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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What an interesting take on the prompt! Crows are an intelligent bird, which is why at one time they were trained as messengers.

The hook
Right away the reader is introduced to the drama in the story, which is his dreams and the crows. As the reader, I felt the beginning was enough of a hook.

Dialogue
Dialogue follows regular speech patterns, rather than being unrealistically formal. In a few areas in the beginning, you forgot italics for internal dialogue, but that is an easy fix.

In the areas where you used he said, the story and characters would be shown more if you incorporated body language instead.

Character development
Michael doesn't seem to have much respect for animal life. When the last crow is delivered, he doesn't seem to be upset by how the animal was killed. Instead, he is just more concerned with adding to his collection. This aspect doesn't make him very likable, but in other areas he seems like a nice human, when it comes to caring about other humans. In a way, I sort of felt he deserved his fate.


Scenery
With the scenery descriptions displayed along with the actions of the story, I get a pretty clear image of his shop. There is just enough description to show the story, without being overly wordy.

Plot
The plot was interesting! There is plenty of hints in the beginning, such as the displacement of the crows and his dreams, without giving the whole plot away.

Final thoughts
Besides the few small issues that I mentioned, this was well written. I enjoyed your creative use of the prompt.

Thank you for sharing your writing! Remember, the opinions expressed here are the opinions of one person. It is up to you to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.











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Review of The Zombie Diner  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Finally here to finish up your reviews. Sorry for the delay. It has been a crazy week.

I was surprised that this item was not already awarded. It was a fun read! Thanks for the laugh! *Bigsmile*

When I first started reading this I saw myself. If I saw such an add, my curiosity would get the best of me and I would have to check it out.


Imagery

The imagery is pretty strait forward, telling a story in poetic format. The menu descriptions were quite witty! I especially like the eye scream desert. *Bigsmile*

Rhyme and flow

Rhymes are consistant without sounding forced when read outloud. Each stanza flows effortless to the next, without any confusing bits. The story told and his eventual demise gave me a good belly laugh.

Final thoughts

I was happy to award this, but can't believe this sat in your port for over 3 years without a ribbon. It was an excellently written poem filled with comic elements. Thanks again for the laugh. *Bigsmile*


























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Review of Double Wide  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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I actually read this a while back when you posted it in a newsfeed. It gave me a good laugh then and it was just as comical on the second read. I have a special connection to this because of where I was living. This was a common site there. Well, that or the more upper class redneck with an overly starched pearl snap shirt and cowboy hat. My non-redneck boyfriend and I are always joking about it. We call it studying the mating rituals of the redneck. Things like revving an engine is their way of flirting.


Imagery
There are some clues to this woman's clothing that make this more commical. When I think of a cross my heart bra, I think of those cotton ones grandma would wear. That mixed with the rest of her clothing, pretty much fit the lower class redneck female species.

The trailorpark slang, comparing the woman to a trailor was funny. I imagine he eventually took her back to his Stabbing cabin (redneck for RV) and told her to get him a beer (redneck for I love you).


Rhyme and flow
The poem flows cohesively from stanza to stanza, building up to comical elements which tell a story of this redneck mating ritual.

Rymes are consistent without seeming forced.

Final thoughts
Everytime I read this, I have a good laugh. You are adept in the comedy genre. Thanks for sharing your wit and sense of humor.







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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
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I'm back agian, to complete the package purchased for you from Huntersmoon. It has been a pleasure browsing through your port.

This story was relatable, whether one has faced abuse or not. Everyone at one time has felt heartbreak to the point of possibly giving up on love coming into their life.

The hook

Her emotional state about what she calls sappy movies shows that there is a reason rooted in her life that encourages the reaction. It also sets the stage for the story either being about love lost or found. So, I was curious where you were going to take it.

Dislogue
There isn't really any dialogue until the end. We are being told her thoughts, rather than shown them. Though, at the end she speaks out loud to herself, which shows she is trying to keep her resolve.

Character development
Other than the first paragraph, we are told about the character rather than shown her. She is someone who has chosen abusers more than once, but now has begun her journey on being more independent alone. Some, like myself, who can relate, would say this is one of the important aspects of recovering. We must spend time alone, learning to love ourselves, so that we no longer accept unacceptable behaviors of abuse again.

Scenery
There isn't really any of her enviroment shown to show the story. She has obviosly begun again. From my own experience, I imagined her home void of a lot of things, because a lot of times abused women walk away from all material things to get away from the abuser.

Plot
The concept is good and relatable. There just needs to be more showing of the story rather than telling it.

Final thoughts
I liked the concepts in this story. It is one that many of us women have faced. That choosing to be single and less reliant on searching for someone to save us, is an important part of the healing process.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, the opinions expressed here are from only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my ideas have been helpful. If you get around to making any repairs, hopefully you will notify me so that I can up my rating according to those repairs.



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Review of The Closet  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Since I love horror, I figured I'd start my journey through your port with reviewing an entry to screams. This was a great little psychological horror.


The hook
The title grabbed me at first glance. As children, most of us had a fear of something lurking in the darkness of the closet. I was curious to where you would take the idea.

That first paragraph hooked me. Right away we know that she is afraid of something. She is apparently an adult, since you mention it being her childhood home, but she is still fearful of something.

Dialogue
Internal dialogue is done well, showing the emotions and personality of the character.

Words spoken in italics follow normal speech patterns, while avoiding being overly formal. When she speaks out-loud, it realistic to what one would say in situalions, like when she shouts a profanity in the beginning and then later speaks to her fears, pretty much telling them to go away.


Character development
I get an image of a child that was not believed, but her fear was very real. Now an adult, she set her goals to prove her fears were valid. She is intelligent and has chosen to face her fears with the use of science.

The body language used between father and daughter seem typical of a healthy relationship. He teases a bit about the closet, but the fact that he put a lock on the door, rather than forcing her to face the fears, shows that he was probably nurturing.

Scenery
There is just enough description into the actions of the story. The reader is shown a typical girls bedroom, but you mainly focus on the closet. The image of this thing in her nightmares is pretty vivid.

Plot
I feel that you took this in an unexpected place. There was plenty of suspense built up through her reactions when entering her childhood bedroom. Once we get toward the end, the use of the invention was a surprise. I wouldn't exactly call it horrific, but it was definitely a unique take on the prompt.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed this story. The beginning gives that creepy feel that is fitting to horror and I liked her resolution.

Thanks for sharing your writing. I have enjoyed the read. ♡








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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi there! I am reviewing this as part of your "Holiday Cheer Fundraiser package, gifted to you from 🌓 HuntersMoon . Since this was in a folder with an explanation of being an item you were most proud of, I figured I would take a look.

Although, our belief systems differ, I found this to be inspirational. Growing up with the serinity prayer, I still refer to it when I am stressed. Though, the version I refer to is much different and simplified.

The hook
The story begins with showing the character's emotional state. She has just gotten bad news again. She seems to be losing hope and falling into depression from the weight of it.

This did grab me, encouraging me to read more, because I was curious as to the news she got. Since this is listed under inspirational, I was curious of what would lift her spirits.

Dialogue
Dialogue is done really well. Instead of the redundant "she said", you add dialogue into the actions of the story. This helps the reader see the story and characters more clearly.

Her sarcasm in the dialogue in the begining, shows her negative emotional state well. Her frustration with life is strongly shown in her words.

Character development
At first I was thinking the main character was a bit dramatic, but I suppose we all have been at that point in life at one time or another. Life can become overwhelming at times.This frustration with life and struggle to find the positive, is an aspect that makes the character relatable to the reader.

Simon seems powerful, wise, and gentle. Some of the facts about the pray are interesting. I was completely ignorant to who actually was the first to write it.


Scenery
You did well avoiding long drawn out descriptions. There is just enough description to show the story.

Plot
This was a nice little inspirational story. I somewhat knew what was going to happen once I realized Simon was part of a dream, but it didn't lesson the stories impact or spiritual message.

Final thoughts
This was one of those stories that leaves the reader feeling warm and fuzzy. It is a sweet story with a powerful message. Thanks for sharing.




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Review of Tap, Tap, Tap  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



Yep, here again for more horror filled stories. This story was intriguing. I kept reading to see what that tapping was.

The hook
I must admit that that first line did grab me, but for the wrong reasons. This being horror, I took it in the literal sense of the food actually speaking to the character. Yet, it became obvious that this was a metaphor for either indigestion or a tummy ache. Since milk is often used to help both issues, you might want to clarify which one it is through a bit of imagery. Maybe describe the acid coming up in her/his throat for indigestion, or the burning in his/her tummy.

Dialogue
There is only inner dialogue, which expresses the main character's thoughts. This is done well and seems to be realistic to the situation.

Character development
There is an issue with whether the main character is female or male. Being that you use "I" and you are female, I assumed the character might be. So, when she looks in the mirror seeing the woman in the reflection, I assumed it was her own reflection that feared her. Then it was clarified that this was not the case after reading the sentences after the first introduction to the woman in the mirror.

Other than that, the main character is realistic. Most of us, whether we are male or female, would react in such a way to a strange tapping.

Scenery
Scenery descriptions are limited, but there is just enough to tell the actions of the story. You avoid long drawn out descriptions that are irrelevant to the plot.

Plot
The plot was interesting. I did want to keep fallowing that tapping. The conclusion was one of horror, which made it a great ending, in my opinion.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed your story and was hooked from beginning until the end. Hopefully at some time you will get around to adding some edits. When you do, make sure to let me know and I will up my rating according to repairs.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed my time in your port. *Heart*














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Review of An Impetuous Walk  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


It is me again. I had to see what other offerings in the horror genre you had for me. This was quite an interesting tale.

The hook
The first paragraph is done well, grabbing the reader by showing them that something important has happened. I wanted to read on to see what it was.

Dialogue
Dialogue is done well for the most part. There is an area where you wrote "he said". Typically it is obvious that someone said something, so body language works better to show the story.

Character development
There is plenty of character development. Kim obviously has gone through some sort of head trauma and is very disoriented. She scares easy too, obviously.

The man that comes into the story later is calm, which enhances the skittish qualities shown in Kim.

Scenery
The darkness of the woods, which can be creepy, is clearly shown. I particularly like how you describe the crackle of the leaves under her feet and show the ground to be wet by showing her slipping.

Plot
There were some interesting twists. I kept thinking this was going to be a werewolf story. Very cleaver distraction.

One thing that I am confused about is Rebecca. Mention of her makes it seem that she has left this other woman behind somewhere, yet this is never clarified. Instead it is a man that appears, which leaves Rebecca an unsolved mystery for the reader.

Mechanics
Was I in such a snit- I was
spilled and brilliant under the moonlight. I would remove "and" in this sentence


Suggestions
The darkness felt- when the words "felt" are used, there is telling rather than showing. The lines read better without that word. This is something that has been pointed out to me in my own writing several times. It is a challenging habit to break.

Final thoughts
Your tale was interesting and full of imagery. Besides the issues mentioned, it is a good story. It just needs a bit of editing.

Thank you for sharing your writing. When you get around to editing this, make sure to let me know, so that I can up my rating according to repairs made. *Heart*
















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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
For group members

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I noticed that you have an anniversary with WDC this month. Happy anniversary and thank you for your contributions that are part of what makes this a wonderful place.

There was so much diversity to choose from in your port, but horror is my favorite, so I figured I would see your offerings in that genre. This title of this particular story caught my eye. For such a short write, it is packed with excitement.


The hook
A friend that is published once told me that publishing companies often look at the first sentence. If it doesn't grab them, they don't read the rest. You begin by telling the reader that "it was a dark and stormy night." My suggestion is to remove that. The story is stronger without it. If you would like to express that it is dark, maybe show your character trying to find the moon, but it being hidden by the thundering clouds.

Character development
This is done well. The woman in this is realistic in her actions, especially when she rationalizes whether to go to the boat or her husband's life jacket. I like how you did not make her weak. She is strong, not giving up, even after the ocean has taken her husband.

Dialogue

The speech from the characters follows normal speech patterns, rather than being overly formal. You also add body language, rather than the redundant "she said" or "she responded".

Scenery
This is done particularly well, while being added into the actions of the story. The reader does feel those clashing tidal waves and the emergency of the situation.

Plot
It was pretty interesting. I am thinking that the monster was supposed to be real and not a metaphor for the ocean. Though, it is a little unclear. Maybe, if it is supposed to be an actual monster adding some clarity with hints of it somewhere in the story would help. Other than that, the story was very interesting and action packed. It had me on my toes anyhow.

Mechanics

In several areas there needs to be a comma before "but". Other than that, from my perceptions, there are no other grammatical issues.

Final thoughts

This was an action packed story that you penned here. I enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing y our writing with me. *Heart*















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Review of Where Did I Go?  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I noticed that you have an anniversary with WDC this month. Happy anniversary and thank you for your contributions that are part of what makes this a wonderful place.


*Hug1**hug**Hug2* This is one of those poems that makes the reader feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It has an element of sadness with the passing of time, then the end made me smile. I imagined a sweet grandmother reminiscing about youth and embracing her age as a grandmother. So very sweet, indeed.

Imagery
The picture adorning this poem goes perfectly with the analogies used. Even though I am not old enough to be a grandmother yet, I often look in that mirror, which displays the passage of time in wrinkles that are forming. Then towards the end with the granddaughter seeing the picture, there is a sense of appreciating those wrinkles. Beautiful metaphor! I couldn't help but smile about the imagery of it all.

Flow
Rhymes are consistent without seeming forced. Each line is strong, flowing cohesively to the other, telling this beautiful story of a grandmother reflecting. Each stanza flows beautifully expanding on the previous, without any confusing gaps.

Mechanics
Structurally, this is well written, without any issues with grammar or spelling, at least as far as my knowledge can find. The only thing I could suggest is that not every line needs to begin with a capital in poetry. Sometimes, visually it is better to use capitalization where the punctuation makes sense to do so.

Final thoughts
You have penned a lovely poem, that I am sure many can relate to. I have enjoyed the sweetness of your words. Thank you for sharing.


I've enjoyed browsing your port. Hopefully you get spoiled on your anniversary. *Heart*















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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

2017 September raid image



Your blogs are always so fun to read. Most of this blog is ranting about your day to day life, but I have to giggle at some of it. Sometimes I nod my head in understanding, especially when you rant about your messy wife. I am no perfectionist, but I do clean up after myself. Unfortunately not everyone has this respect. I did have my oldest daughter living with me, who is very much like your wife. Like you, sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out in frustration when coming home to it.

The blog entries about your kids make me smile. I will forever see you as a big man with a kiddie backpack. Only an amazing father would play along with such a thing. Your son is a lucky little boy.

Of course you always edit your writing well, making sure all your writing is grammatically correct.

I appreciate how each blog ends with a question. This not only encourages feedback, but some of those comments could be a muse in creative writing.

Also, much like your creative writing you express your nonfictional stories creatively, turning mundane happenings into a story that grabs the reader. It is of no surprise that you have been nominated for a blogging quill.

Thank you for sharing your life with us on WdC. Like usual I have enjoyed the read.♡






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Review of WWII  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I have been challenged to complete 30,000 characters in reviews for "The Twelve Labours of WDC, and since you have an anniversary this month, I figured I would browse your port. Happy anniversary and thank you for your contributions that are part of what makes this a wonderful place.

The hook
The story grabs the reader right away with the actions of the story. It was an intense beginning that encouraged this reader to keep reading. I wanted to find out if the poor guy would survive.

Dialogue
The dialogue inside the quotation marks was done really well. You even use some improper spdeech with a hint of slang, which shows one or more of the characters are from the Southern states.

Character development
Through dialogue and body language the reader really understands the personality of the characters. I really liked Ernie's character. He seems like a nice young man, who has the respect that was so common among young men back then, unlike now.

Scenery
By the title we know the story takes place in WW2 and by the dialogue we know they are fighting the Japanese. There is a hint of the scenery with the sandy beach and mention of being on an island, which help the reader to visualize the scenery. These details are given in the actions of the story, rather than boring the reader with long drawn out descripions.


Plot
The story comes to a full circle, connecting his traumatic memory with the present times. In a way it seems as though his current situation is forcing him to cope with the past.

You even add a little twist, which is somewhat commical. I had to shake my head at the incompetence of the government when it was evaluated that the man would most likely still be flying planes.

Mechanics
burning fuselage crawling head first,- There needs to be a comma before crawling.

Ernie and Sgt. Smith then picked up the pilot

"Too close,” said Ernie.- Since they have just avoided death, said seems to tame of an expression. Body language would inhance it more. Below is an example.

Ernie exhaled, regaining his composure and shook his head. "Too close."


Final thoughts
This is a well thought out and wonderfully written story. It was an emotional glimpse at a young man at war, who learns to cope with his inner demons.

Thank you for sharing your writing.♡












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Review of The Dying Game  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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I have been challenged to conduct 30,000 reviews for "The Twelve Labours of WDC, so I figured I would raid your port. *Bigsmile*

This was a disturbingly enjoyable read. *Bigsmile*

I love how you make the woman the sociopath, rather than the victim. I would like to introduce Mrs. Owens to a few of my exes.*Devilish*

The hook
Right off we are introduced to Jenny Owens, who obviosly is a sociopath in the making with her facination with killing small creatures. I think this was a great way to begin the story and I wanted to read on to see how Mrs. Owens progressed in her killing.

Dialogue
There is a lot of character development in the dialogue. I giggled a bit thinking of this adorable blonde greeting the three tied men in a kids voice. She is so nonchalant in her speech, as if it is just another fun game, which is fitting.

The words spoken and screamed from the men are realistic to anyone in such a situation.

Character development
I loved the villian in this tale. I may be a little warped, but I felt she was a likable sociopath, much like Rob Zombies wife in his horror flicks. I wonder if she was your muse for Jenny Owens.

We don't really get to know the men, except for their terrified responce to the situation. Like any group, there is always one willing to do what it takes to survive, even if it does include hurting another.

Scenery
{/ b}
We know that they are tied up in her bedroom, but we are not given much details of the room. Though, there is just enough details for the reader to fill in the blanks.

Plot

I was glued to this from the beginning until the end. Typically I am not fond of stories that change tenses, but it worked well in this stort. It was a great way to draw a line between the past and present.

I kept reading to find out what the game was, as promised by the title. Once it was revealed, I was not disappointed. It was a creative ending.

Final thoughts
As usual, I thoroughly enjoyed the read. It is always a pleasure raiding your port. There are all sorts of horrific goodies to choose from.

Thank you for sharing your writing. ♡



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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


It is me again, fulfilling my 30,000 characters in reviews for "The Twelve Labours of WDC. Happy anniversary! *Heart*

I've had some fun roaming through your horror. I suppose every horror anthology has to have a vampire tale or two and this story in particular was an enjoyable read. It was creative and quite shocking.


The hook

I am thinking that the first few stand alone sentences was a prompt, but it works well to grab the reader as well. It intrigued me and encouraged me to read on in order to see how you spin your end of times vampire tale. Then after those few introductory sentences, you go right into the actions of the story with the dialogue, rather than boring me with long drawn out descriptions. Well done. *Bigsmile*

Dialogue
There is a lot of character development in the dialogue. The happy-go-lucky personality of Clayburn is clearly shown. He is starving, yet he's joking about it. Then there is his darker friend, pushing the urgency of the situation on his friend to the point of expressing quite a bit of anger in reaction his positive view. Though, the close relationship between the two, for which I imagine has developed over hundreds of years, is apparent with the actions toward each other.

Character development
I suppose sometimes dark and sinister leads to higher prospects of survival, especially where vampires come into play. Trudeau is a very serious vampire, expressing the urgency in the situation. This makes him more cautious, unlike his friend. Claburn is about making the best of the situations, yet this also makes him less careful, which leads to his demise.

Scenery
The world, especially when people are beginning to burn is shown in frightening clarity. I would imagine that people would be running for cover once there was a hint of relief from the coming night. At the end with the concrete slab closing them in, the imagery leaves a dark and sinister feeling with the reader, just like the character locking them in forever.

Plot
Although linking vampires with the apocalypse is not an original concept, the delivery and outcome of the story are pretty unique. There were some good twists here. Most would expect a positive outlook to increase odds on survival, but in reality, as your story shows, it leaves room for sloppy decisions. So, your choice in survivors was clever. Then that little bit at the end was a shocker. He gets a big snack before his forever sleep.

Final thoughts
This was a fun read and I enjoyed that the ending was a surprise. It is always disappointing, especially with horror, when the ending is expected.

Thank you for sharing your writing with me. *Heart*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


For "The Twelve Labours of WDC, I have to conduct 30,000 characters in reviews this week, so since you have anniversary this month, I figured I would raid your port. Happy anniversary and thank you for your contributions that are part of what makes this a wonderful place.

This was a light little story. I find your personification of Hooves in your various stories to be a fun read.

The hook
The first few sentences di grab the reader, giving a hint to what the story is going to be about. I can relate to those two sentences, as it does seem that in political conversations, the debates do seem pretty redundant, about the same thing over and over, nobody ever fully agreeing on a resolve.

Dialogue
Dialogue was done well, avoiding the overuse of "he said". Instead, you utilize the actions of the story and body language. In addition, the words spoken in the quotation marks follow regular patterns of speech, rather than seeming too formal.

There is a lot of character development in the dialogue too, specifically in the human. She does seem quite demanding towards poor Hoove's.

Character development
Character development is done well. Hooves is a very determined cow, promptly doing her bidding. She even tries to get the correct picture on the stamps. She is very proud as well, flaunting her fancy purse, yet she shows some humbleness with it. The little bit with tossing out the exact chance must have taken great skill, especially without the use of hands, so she is quite coordinated too.

Scenery
The post office is done quite well. The description of the "heavy clouds" adds to the frustrating feel of the long line that awaits her at the post office.

Plot
This was a cute little write, meant to obviously be light. The punch line about the incompetence of the government gave me a little chuckle, as I imagine was your intention.

Final thoughts
This was a fun little read. Thank you for sharing it. *Heart*













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Review of Slaughterhouse  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


For "The Twelve Labours of WDC I have to conduct 30,000 characters in reviews this week, so since your anniversary was this month, I thought I would stalk your port. Happy anniversary and thank you for your contributions that are part of what makes this a wonderful place.


I do like a good horror story and you delivered a good one here. It is no surprise that three ribbons adorn this story.

The hook
The beginning grabbed me. I have been known to stare into those wood grains, seeing images, as I am sure many other people have. It is something so mundane, yet if someone is mentally ill, those images could become disturbing illusions.

Character development
I imagined the main character as being emotionless, yet having an intensity about him. The build up of his character is almost like a volcano. He appears calm, yet there is something fierce building up under the surface. He doesn't speak much, but his emotions and actions toward the slaughterhouse environment and toward the end with the children, shows his character clearly.

Dialogue
The dialogue from the parents are realistic, as well as their actions in the situation. Most parents would be upset, spewing angry words at someone who posed a threat to their children in such a way. You also avoid the redundant "he said", and instead utilize implementing the actions and body language of the characters.

Scenery
The scenery is what makes this story. Reading the slaughterhouse description, I 'almost' want to be a vegetarian. It is quite gruesome! I've heard it said that the cows are pretty oblivious of what is going on, but that is likely to protect their psyche as they eat their steak.

My favorite descriptions here is the explanation of the amount of blood and how the cattle react to the smell. Then that image of the cows bunched together, and the excrement from the limited room, is pretty disturbing.

Halloween was a perfect way to set the scene. It is the perfect holiday to present dark legends.

Plot
The build-up in this story was done excellently. I could feel that cold man boiling inside, begging to set his monster free. I kept reading to see what the monster would be once it was freed. Honestly, I feared for those children. This being a horror story, I was unsure what their outcome would be. Then the ending was quite a surprise. It was almost as if the touching he felt was something demonic, devouring him in his demise. The use of the song at the end and around the beginning, sets the mood and delivers a punch to the ending.

Mechanics
I could not find any grammatical or spelling errors. This is a well edited and excellently crafted story.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed your horrific tale. Writing psychological horror is pretty challenging, so I applaud you for succeeding.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I truly enjoyed the read. *Heart*


















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Review of Forget Me  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi there! I found this while searching for writings by newer members. This is an emotive write and one that I can relate to. I too have had experiences with addiction in those that I care about. It can be extremely difficult watching them destroy themselves and those around them.

First thoughts
With my first read through, I felt that the emotions in your words. It is almost as if you are angry, which is not uncommon when we have been hurt by those who are supposed to love us.

Flow and rhyme
It seems that you were trying to follow a particular rhyme scheme, but you strayed from it with "person", "version", and "now". The stray interrupts the flow some what.

Imagery
The language is blunt for the most part, rather than utilizing analogy to express the emotional content. Though, you do use a metaphor in the first two lines. It is a strong way to begin the poem.

Emotive qualities
I feel that this was a quick write to express your emotions and hurt. With the addition of more analogy, rather than a straight forward approach, I think that the poem would deliver a stronger reaction from the reader.

Here is an example:
"Do I even know this new person" - something that could work is "There's a stranger in my bed that wears your skin" or something to that affect.

Mechanics

"upgraded version"- wouldn't they be the downgraded version of themselves? upgraded gives the image of self improvement.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is just the opinion of one person. It is up to you to decide which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful. When you get around to editing this, make sure to let me know, so that I can up my rating according to improvements made.




















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Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
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Hi there! I found this on the random review and read area and thought I would give it a read. Remember, the thoughts that I express here are only from one person. It is up to you, the reader to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully this review is helpful to you.

The hook
The first few sentences grabbed me because of the blood explanations and then the explanation of the drug addicts being her victims got me curious.

Dialogue
Words spoken in the quotation marks follow normal speech patterns, rather than seeing too formal. Though, I would suggest not using "said" so much. Instead, adding some body language would enhance the story and character development. Below is an example of what I mean.

“Are you lost?” Beth asked.

example of correction: Beth bend down to the boys level, making herself less threatening to the child. She wiped one of his tears off of his cheek and hoped her smile would comfort him. " Are you lost?"

Character development
There is some interesting character development in the descriptions of the characters and in the dialogue used. The friendship between the werewolf and vampire is interesting. It is almost as if they super heroes in a demented way, since they only feed on those who are the dangerous part of society.

Plot
The story line was interesting. I like the connection in how the super natural beings choose to protect the boy.

The only issue I have is that there is no surprise ending. It just ends pretty much like it starts by her eating another addict.

Mechanics

In the beginning you wrote that she wiped her mouth on a red napkin. For imagery and symbolic purposes, maybe consider it being a white napkin instead.

The use of "then" is a bit redundant. I would suggest rephrasing without the word. Most descriptions flow better in the story by just omitting that word.

She also saw the dirt and scrapes covering his- We already know that she saw, because you already express she is looking at the boy. So I'd suggest just go into the details of his description, without expressing that she also saw this or that.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I have enjoyed the read. When you get around to editing this, make sure to let me know, so that I can up my rating according to repairs. Most importantly, keep writing.


















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Review of Thinking is Bad  
Review by warpedsanity
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I am Warped Sanity from the White Walkers, sponcored by "The Witch's House . Welcome to the biggest review war here on WdC, "Game of Thrones.

*Snow1* First impression
I liked your verse. My boyfriend and I were just analyzing this issue in our society. Both of us are artist,which in turn we are more non-conformist, free thinkers. It is a really sad existance to not really live and instead function as just another part of this machine.

*Snow1* Strengths
You stayed true to your rhyme scheme and for the most part this flows well. I appreciate how you used mundane aspects of society to show how people just convert to society norms, without free thought. Like you explain, it can be kind of a cage and there is an illusion of happiness in that.

*Snow1* Suggestions
There is an area where you use gay. I am aware that the original meaning of gay is happy, but now when most see the word they think of homosexuality. Just like the original meaning of fag was a cigarette, but now it is considered a derogatory term. So, when I see gay, especially in reference to a cage, I think of someone's sexuality being surpressed, not their happiness.

*Snow1* Final thoughts
This was an emotive and powerful poem. I enjoyed the read.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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