It is me again, fulfilling my 30,000 characters in reviews for "The Twelve Labours of WDC" . Happy anniversary!
I've had some fun roaming through your horror. I suppose every horror anthology has to have a vampire tale or two and this story in particular was an enjoyable read. It was creative and quite shocking.
I am thinking that the first few stand alone sentences was a prompt, but it works well to grab the reader as well. It intrigued me and encouraged me to read on in order to see how you spin your end of times vampire tale. Then after those few introductory sentences, you go right into the actions of the story with the dialogue, rather than boring me with long drawn out descriptions. Well done.
There is a lot of character development in the dialogue. The happy-go-lucky personality of Clayburn is clearly shown. He is starving, yet he's joking about it. Then there is his darker friend, pushing the urgency of the situation on his friend to the point of expressing quite a bit of anger in reaction his positive view. Though, the close relationship between the two, for which I imagine has developed over hundreds of years, is apparent with the actions toward each other.
I suppose sometimes dark and sinister leads to higher prospects of survival, especially where vampires come into play. Trudeau is a very serious vampire, expressing the urgency in the situation. This makes him more cautious, unlike his friend. Claburn is about making the best of the situations, yet this also makes him less careful, which leads to his demise.
The world, especially when people are beginning to burn is shown in frightening clarity. I would imagine that people would be running for cover once there was a hint of relief from the coming night. At the end with the concrete slab closing them in, the imagery leaves a dark and sinister feeling with the reader, just like the character locking them in forever.
Although linking vampires with the apocalypse is not an original concept, the delivery and outcome of the story are pretty unique. There were some good twists here. Most would expect a positive outlook to increase odds on survival, but in reality, as your story shows, it leaves room for sloppy decisions. So, your choice in survivors was clever. Then that little bit at the end was a shocker. He gets a big snack before his forever sleep.
This was a fun read and I enjoyed that the ending was a surprise. It is always disappointing, especially with horror, when the ending is expected.
Thank you for sharing your writing with me.