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57 Public Reviews Given
57 Total Reviews Given
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hmmmmmm, an interesting look at politics in such a short piece. I have to say, you simplify a complicated subject to perfection. Your words were well chosen and placed in sentences the dumbest person could understand. I can't wait to read some of your other essays.

My experience in this subject took place in my early 30's when I got elected to the Texas House in 1980. I ran for the office thinking I could be a politician who listened to his people rather than special interests. I was not successful.
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Review of Unlucky Shortcut  
Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
Since you took the time to read and comment on one of my works, I figured I should check out some of yours. Though I have read several this morning, I haven't spent the time to review any except this one for now. This one caught my eye because I wrote something similar about a shortcut I once took in Africa. Rather than coming across a rattlesnake, I stumbled onto a pride of lions. I was saved by local villagers and lived to tell the tale. Nice job here getting a large story told in a few words. I detect a bit of truth in this story and not fictional. You obviously have a background in descriptive writing.
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Review of China's Chernobyl  
Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
Percy, or Matty:

With nothing to do but sit around and read what others are writing about these days, I came across your interesting and well written article. No need to discuss your writing skills, because it is obvious you are well educated in constructive and descriptive techniques. So, I'll concentrate on your subject matter instead.

I was one of those crazy people featured on National Geographic's, Doomsday Preppers (episode 11, Season 1). We believe the wonderful lives we lead today will all go to hell in a handbag and everyone should start preparing for that now. So many of us have different views as to how Doomsday will come about. My prediction is that it will come at the hands of the Chinese and will have everything to do with economic control. I think this virus thing is a good wake-up call for Americans to see just how much we depend on Chinese goods. Who would have known that most of the virus test kits come from there. And what about medical protection gear? There are thousands of goods made there that America cannot function without. And we used to make all that here! Even the transformers that make up our electrical production grid are exclusively made in China now. We did this ourselves starting with Nixon's peace visit to China. Since 1976 we have been deliberately closing down our manufacturing plants and allowing them to set up there. It is almost as if we have always wanted America to eat from the hands of the Chinese. Most of us will never understand why. Some thought it was a way to keep peace by turning China into a Capitalist society. All it has done is to increase our dependency on them and turn China into a World Super Economic Power.

Maybe when this virus scare is done with, our leaders will start moving to get vital goods manufactured in the US again. I am not holding my breath, though. I keep my stuff ready for Doomsday.

Great Article and well written!
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just love opinion essays, especially those that reflect what I believe in. Yours was written brilantly and full of common-sense; something Hollywood script writers seem to be missing. I wrote a piece once called, "Why am I Responsible?" It pretty much covered a lot of what you imply.

It is my opinion that the entertainment industry has been responsible for most of the bad things people have done since the written word. Let's just go back to the dime novels deplicting the glory of killers like Frank and Jessie James and the fast gun of Billy the Kid. Those novels were entertaining and responsible for creating some of the most vicious killers of the time.

Then came the movies. Humphrey Bogart's iconic sucking on cigaretts in every movie caused an epidemic of lung cancer around the world. No one used to curse in public until Hollywood made it common. And, being a homosexual was always looked down upon as perverted behavior until Hollywood and the media convinced everyone it was natural.

Me.... I am a prime example of allowing Hollywood to influence my life. I was a teenager when police shows replaced westerns on TV. There was Dragnet, Adam 12, Chips, etc... All made the profession look exciting and the job everyone should seek. So I did. In the 4 years I served as an Austin, Texas cop, I was hospitalized 4 times, my gun was taken away three times and never recovered, and I never once saw any glory in the job. I was lucky to get out alive.

Great job on your essay. You got me thinking about so many things we do as a result of what we see and hear. Problem is, I don't see how it will ever get right when the wrong people run things in Hollywood.
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Review of Why?  
Review by waynemart
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I usually check out the works of those who look at mine. This one caught my fancy because I spent a lot of time in Kenya in the early 80"s. The people you describe outside the house meet the description of the folks I saw every day.

For such a small piece, this one paints an early picture of the situation in the reader's head. That is almost an impossible writing trick because most readers are slow to see what you are talking about and get lost. I could instantly see the skull, the fear of the husband and wife, and the half-naked tribesman outside holding spears. And what a finish! The husband's head stuck on the top of a stake.

I see you had entered this in a contest and hope it did well. The "Dear Me" piece you looked at was my second contest submission. I never heard back from the one in December, so after submitting this I went back and re-read the rules. There was some confusing instructions about adding a before and something else after the piece number of which I did not do. I just submitted the number. I received no notice that I was properly entered. And, there was no way to go back and re-attempt to enter the piece. So confusing! If adding other characters when submitting a simple number are required, the staff here have made entering contests too difficult for guys like me.
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Review of The "Rapture"  
Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
I searched back through a lot of talent and picked this one to read. This is more of a comment by me than what some would call a review, since I couldn't find anything wrong with grammar or the ability to get thoughts across to the reader.

Though your profile doesn't mention you are a man of the cloth, I am assuming you are or have spent a lot of time listening to pastors and researching your Bible. So have I. The subject of the second coming has been debated by the best. It seems every pastor I've listened to on the subject has his own interpretation. I think yours comes as close to my beliefs as I've seen. Most of my believer friends think we will be spared from any tribulation. I do not agree with that as neither do you.

As a believer and family supporter, I try to stay prepared for the worst to come and pray to God it never does. Main thing is, nothing will catch me by surprise. I was on Episode 11 in the first season of National Geographic's, Doomsday Preppers.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is definitely a time-sensitive piece. Sounds like you just wrote it because it is pretty much up to date. The only criticism I have is there should be space between paragraphs. It appears crowded and I found myself getting lost between lines. Joe Bite-me should be capitalized.

You write this as a common-sense individual looking at the situation. At least, a conservative like me sees it that way. A die-hard liberal will read it and call it all lies and would probably write you a horrible review, based on prejudice against Trump. I found myself agreeing with every item. You and me think alike!

I wonder how historians like me will write the legacy of Donald Trump and this impeachment thing 50 years from now. I was there when Ronald Reagan came out of nowhere and became president. The Democrats and their P.R. staff (the American Main-Stream Media) hated him and did their best to distort the good he accomplished. He should have been the one to invent the word, Fake News. In his eight years, interest rates came way down, inflation dropped to nothing, our GNP soared, and people went back to work. Yet, you won't see a Democrat or a reporter from CNN, NBC, CBS, or the NY Times admit to any of that to this day. It has been 40 years since he was elected and still you don't see much about his accomplishments in high school or college textbooks. But, Bill Clinton and Barrack Obama are saints on what they accomplished in history already. Try to name one good thing either was responsible for.

If I could advise the Senate Republicans, I would have them have an early vote against impeachment, instead of a lengthy trial like the Democrats want. It would send a clear message to the Dems that the impeachment thing was political and meaningless. Having a trial will not increase Trump's support, but could harm it should Bolton or someone from his staff betray him.

Great piece and I hope you are spared from an attack review from a Trump-hater.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I went way in the back and found this cute little contest essay you wrote long ago. And it was worth the read because it got me thinking. We all imagine this subject for a good part of our lives. "What would I do with my last day?" When I was younger and didn't believe in the Hereafter, I would imagine killing my worst enemies. I wasn't going out alone, I figured. Now that I am saved, that kind of thinking has been moved out of my brain. Since I have seen and done more things in my 67 years on Earth than the average man, I just can't think of anything special I want to do. Then I read your piece. Yes, that is probably exactly what I would do. A very inspirational work of art!
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is not what I call a review, but maybe some sound advice. Like you, early in my life I had to make hard choices as to what I wanted out of life. I wrote my own essay about my experience and your article made me think you should read it. I believe it address much of what you say in your second paragraph.

https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/219...
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
A quick and simple essay that is easy to read and contains all the facts it needs to get the point across. I applaud your knowledge on the subject and talent to get is said, so even a moron like me can understand.

Last week, for the first time, my doctor said I have now officially reached the status of obesity. Since the age of 50 I have seen my Testosterone level go from 750 to 199 as of my 67th birthday. With it, my metabolism has also tanked. No diet plan works, no matter how long I stay one. I simply get fat on air!

Since my last physical, I've decided to follow my doctor's advice and take the appropriate actions to slim down, or die. First, I've gone on a Testosterone program that should get my numbers up and increase my natural fat-burning abilities. I've reduced my sugar intake, mostly by stopping my daily consumption of margaritas. And mostly, I have gone on to the intermediate fasting plan by only eating in a 7 hour window each day. If all this doesn't work, I'm doomed! Thanks for the inspirational article.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
I make it a rule to read people's works who took the time to read mine, though I don't always write a review each time. This one causes me to want to comment based on my own related personal experiences. There is no need to speak of writing abilities here, because you are obviously not new to creative writing. I can visualize everything you jot down extremely well. I mostly want to relate my own experiences of love and the Philippines.

My father was stationed in the Philippines during WWII with MacArthur prior the the Japanese invasion. Though prohibited, he fell in love with a beautiful local girl and had plans to return after the war to marry her. He would tell wonderful stories to us kids about their love and times together; of course, only out of earshot of my mother. As fate would have it, a severe case of malaria hospitalized him and he had to be shipped stateside to receive proper healthcare. They placed him on the same plane as General MacArthur as he fled the islands prior to the invasion.

After the war ended and Dad was discharged, he managed to work his way back to the Philippines crewing on freighter ships. He said it took him almost 6 months at sea to get back there. He managed to locate his sweetheart's family, only to find she had been killed during the last days of the occupation. He remained for months helping the family through hard times and eventually returned and met my mother.

Dad's love story convinced me that my wife would someday be a Filipina. At the age of thirty five I went to work for the World Health Organization and helped commission hospitals throughout the South Pacific. I made trips to Manila now and then to search for my wife-to-be, but never met a lady that the Holy Spirit inside approved of. Then, on an island out in the middle of nowhere, I saw her in a small church overlooking the sea. She was the picture of beauty my Dad had described in his stories, and about 10 years younger than me. Instead of boldly approaching her, I located her father and asked if he would mind me talking with his daughter. After giving me the third degree, he took me over and introduced her to me. In six weeks we were married and she traveled the world with me for the next 10 years. We had our only child in the Middle East three years later. That was thirty six years ago and she is still as lovely as she was when I met her in that church.

Obviously your story is about your parents and is a wonderful tribute to them. Someday I will write something similar about my Dad and his first love. I wish now he had done that before he passed so I could know her name to make sure she is remembered.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am more into historical writings than this sort of subject, but yours caught my eye when flashing through some to read. When I read an interesting piece like yours, I go back and remember my sweet old high school English teacher, Miss Davis. She knew how to bring out the best writing skills in the worst of us. Her main point was that when you write, think of the reader creating a movie inside his head. As he reads, he is picturing the flow of events through images he creates in his mind from your words. If early in your story you say something like, “The rabbit jumped in a hole”, and later you mention the hole was in a tree and not the ground, you have completely destroyed the reader’s flow of images. It is difficult for a reader to reverse his imagination once it has been set in motion. Always be descriptive and never leave a reader to guessing what you meant for him to see.

I can see in your writing that you may have had a Miss Davis in your past. I could clearly see the meeting at school and feel the discontent of your friends. You obviously know how to tell a story and get your feeling across to the reader.

I don't usually comment on the content of a story, but this is one I relate to because of my 67 years as a white man, raised by color-sensitive parents. When I brought my Philippine wife home to meet my parents, my mother kicked us both out and I never saw her again until her funeral. I would like to share with you a bit of my past and my experiences with people of color:

Me and my 3 brothers were practically raised by an live-in unmarried black mother with a boy child. The child was my age and I spent more time with him growing up than I did with my brothers. We attended different schools, because in those days schools were segregated. I eventually graduated in 71 from a totally white school and had never spent much time with black folks except for my Nanny's son. We are still best friends to this day.

The only thing I knew about black people was what my parents would say. They were uneducated, stupid, unclean, and would steal the cloths off your back if given the chance. I never saw any of that with Nanny or her son, Jack. I never believed my parents, but never questioned them either.

I did not want my parents' help while attending college at UT. I got a job as a night policeman in Austin, TX and attended school in the daytime. My beat was east of Congress, or what was called the black part of town. It was the first time in my life I saw racism at its worst. We were all white cops in those days and no one wanted to respond to fights in black bars or tangle with any of the black gangs that hung around neighborhoods, selling dope. Though there wasn't a prejudiced bone in my body when I joined the force, I ended up worse than my mother by the time I resigned 4 years later. I had been hospitalized 3 times in those years as a result of arrest attempts in that area. My gun was taken from me twice after I was rendered unconscious when responding to emergency calls. In almost every street fight involving black males, there was a black female ready to get in the face of police, accusing us of being racists. If we attempted to arrest her, the fight would stop and the men would focus their anger on us.

From there I went to work for the World Health Organization. My first assignments were in the deepest regions of Africa, where I worked closely with village leaders to commission new hospitals we built for them. In those 5 years I developed very close relationships with the locals throughout the country and completely ignored the fact they had black skin. And, they never looked at me as a white threat to their way of life. They truly appreciated what we were providing for them.

Before retirement in the US, I worked side by side with a lot of black people and made many friends my deceased mother would never have approved. I have no friends who are racists, nor do I tolerate any talk of bigotry around me. I have heard many stories similar to yours; however, I have never witnessed that kind of racial behavior in my past. I firmly believe that such racial behavior is looked down upon by most white people these days. Sadly, there is still some around and comes mostly from uneducated white trash. At least, that is what I call them.

I look forward to reading more of your works.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very descriptive. The only thing I would change is to go back and put a space between your paragraphs. It would make it easier to read.

So you know, I have been to Vegas several times in my life. The only thing of mine that stays in Vegas is my money.
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Review of Running Away  
Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful! Those of us who have buried our parents identify with your grief. Mine have been gone now for more than 15 years, but I still constantly think of them. They left this world within a few short months of each other. I was born on their 7th anniversary, so when March 9 comes up every year, I identify with your short and wonderfully written piece. You nailed it for me!
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Review of Holding Hands  
Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am more into historical writings than this sort of subject, but yours caught my eye when flashing through some to read. When I read an interesting piece like yours, I go back and remember my sweet old high school English teacher, Miss Davis. She knew how to bring out the best writing skills in the worst of us. Her main point was that when you write, think of the reader creating a movie inside his head. As he reads, he is picturing the flow of events through images he creates in his mind from your words. If early in your story you say something like, “The rabbit jumped in a hole”, and later you mention the hole was in a tree and not the ground, you have completely destroyed the reader’s flow of images. It is difficult for a reader to reverse his imagination once it has been set in motion. Always be descriptive and never leave a reader to guessing what you meant for him to see.

Your piece is difficult to finish because it reminds all of us who have had to bury our parents of the sadness it brought. It would be difficult, if not impossible, for me to put into words any of the good times I had with my mother and father. They left this world within a few months of each other and it was more than I could deal with in such a short span of time. Hardly a day goes by that I do not think of them and wish I could have been the better son they so deserved.

You have nailed descriptive writing and I suspect you had a Miss Davis somewhere in your past. I could see every picture you painted and had no trouble visualizing what you wanted me to see. I just can't figure how you managed to compose it with all the tears on your keyboard. Great job and thanks for writing this masterpiece.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am more into historical writings than this sort of subject, but yours caught my eye when flashing through some to read. When I read an interesting piece like yours, I go back and remember my sweet old high school English teacher, Miss Davis. She knew how to bring out the best writing skills in the worst of us. Her main point was that when you write, think of the reader creating a movie inside his head. As he reads, he is picturing the flow of events through images he creates in his mind from your words. If early in your story you say something like, “The rabbit jumped in a hole”, and later you mention the hole was in a tree and not the ground, you have completely destroyed the reader’s flow of images. It is difficult for a reader to reverse his imagination once it has been set in motion. Always be descriptive and never leave a reader to guessing what you meant for him to see.

Your story is a subject we can all identify with. In my day we did not have kindergarten and started school in the 1st grade. Your story reminded me of my first day with 26 other children and sweet Miss White. Through your words, I could visualize the room, teacher, and children. Not because I was there once, but because your descriptive writing abilities are right on. I suspect you had a Ms. Davis somewhere in your early years also. This was a good piece with a lot said in a few words. That's not easy to do.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading this. I have something similar of my own that you might want to check out. If you don't mind, I have included your link at the bottom of mine.

https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/219...
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Review of Beliefs  
Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very inspirational piece from an obviously intelligent person. I was about 26 when something changed in my behavior after reading Art Linkletter's, "The Power of Positive Thinking". From the point after reading the first chapter, I completely changed my way of thinking and applied all his steps to a happy and successful life going forward. People have marveled at the things I've accomplished over the past 41 years.

The first rule is to be proud of yourself before anything else. Convince yourself you can accomplish anything. Wake up every morning, look into the mirror, and tell yourself you are special and can conquer the world if you want. Do the same thing before going to bed. Set goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them. Then set new ones.

I can find no flaws in your writing. You are obviously experienced with sentence structure and the ability to put your thoughts in a comprehensive manner. I look forward to reading some of your other inspired pieces. Keep it up and always think you are special.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very inspirational piece from an obviously intelligent person. I was about 26 when something changed in my behavior after reading Art Linkletter's, "The Power of Positive Thinking". From the point after reading the first chapter, I completely changed my way of thinking and applied all his steps to a happy and successful life going forward. People have marveled at the things I've accomplished over the past 41 years.

The first rule is to be proud of yourself before anything else. Convince yourself you can accomplish anything. Wake up every morning, look into the mirror, and tell yourself you are special and can conquer the world if you want. Do the same thing before going to bed. Set goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them. Then set new ones.

I can find no flaws in your writing. You are obviously experienced with sentence structure and the ability to put your thoughts in a comprehensive manner. I look forward to reading some of your other inspired pieces. Keep it up and always think you are special.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very inspirational piece from an obviously intelligent person. I was about 26 when something changed in my behavior after reading Art Linkletter's, "The Power of Positive Thinking". From the point after reading the first chapter, I completely changed my way of thinking and applied all his steps to a happy and successful life going forward. People have marveled at the things I've accomplished over the past 41 years.

The first rule is to be proud of yourself before anything else. Convince yourself you can accomplish anything. Wake up every morning, look into the mirror, and tell yourself you are special and can conquer the world if you want. Do the same thing before going to bed. Set goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them. Then set new ones.

I can find no flaws in your writing. You are obviously experienced with sentence structure and the ability to put your thoughts in a comprehensive manner. I look forward to reading some of your other inspired pieces. Keep it up and always think you are special.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
A very inspirational piece from an obviously intelligent person. I was about 26 when something changed in my behavior after reading Art Linkletter's, "The Power of Positive Thinking". From the point after reading the first chapter, I completely changed my way of thinking and applied all his steps to a happy and successful life going forward. People have marveled at the things I've accomplished over the past 41 years.

The first rule is to be proud of yourself before anything else. Convince yourself you can accomplish anything. Wake up every morning, look into the mirror, and tell yourself you are special and can conquer the world if you want. Do the same thing before going to bed. Set goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them. Then set new ones.

I can find no flaws in your writing. You are obviously experienced with sentence structure and the ability to put your thoughts in a comprehensive manner. I look forward to reading some of your other inspired pieces. Keep it up and always think you are special.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
If I was to define this piece, I'd label it as an inspired psychological look on man's basic response to facing downfalls. The reason it caught my eye was the title, Seeking Vindication. I thought it would be about getting even with those who wrong you. In my 67 years, I cannot count the number of times I wanted to get even with someone for what he did to me. But, your well written account of things working out made me stop and think of the good things that came to my life as a result of the bad. For example, my first wife of 4 years left me for a man she had been quietly sleeping with for months. I actually took steps to kill the both of them before killing myself. That would have sure fixed that problem, I thought at the time. But, I didn't do it and instead went on with my life. Years later I met my sole mate and have never been happier after 36 years married to her.

My hat's off to you on this one, Ray. You obviously put a lot of thought in to it and I am sure those who read it will walk away with a different way of thinking. I look forward to reading more of your inspired work.
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Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting essay and filled with common-sense. I wrote a similar piece; however, mine is more based in the science of creation and the religion of evolution. If you don't mind, I linked your essay at the bottom of mine. Yours is much better written and addresses more of the common-sense side of the subject.

https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/219...
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Review of Ufology  
Review by waynemart
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am more into historical writings than this sort of subject, but yours caught my eye when flashing through some to read. I do like sci-fi. When I read an interesting piece like yours, I go back and remember my sweet old high school English teacher, Miss Davis. She knew how to bring out the best writing skills in the worst of us. Her main point was that when you write, think of the reader creating a movie inside his head. As he reads, he is picturing the flow of events through images he creates in his mind from your words. If early in your story you say something like, “The rabbit jumped in a hole”, and later you mention the hole was in a tree and not the ground, you have completely destroyed the reader’s flow of images. It is difficult for a reader to reverse his imagination once it has been set in motion. Always be descriptive and never leave a reader to guessing what you meant for him to see.

Short and good descriptive writing, I can say about your piece. In your first two sentences, I was able to see the image of Colonel Rod in a space suit and the mist on the inside from the cough. From there, the movie in my mind was started and I could visualize the situation he was in.

Then came the Buck and Cody in the shack talking about what Cody saw from window. Immediately I knew one of two things had happened. Either Colonel Rod was an alien who crash-landed on Earth, or somehow his mission to space got turned around and he ended back on Earth unknowingly. And maybe all he had to do was open his helmet to survive. In either case, I didn't get that answered by the end of the piece.

Great descriptive writing and I am sure you have others I want to check out. You must have had an old Miss Davis in your past somewhere.
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Review of Unfinished  
Review by waynemart
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am more into historical writings than this sort of subject, but yours caught my eye when flashing through some to read. When I read an interesting piece like yours, I go back and remember my sweet old high school English teacher, Miss Davis. She knew how to bring out the best writing skills in the worst of us. Her main point was that when you write, think of the reader creating a movie inside his head. As he reads, he is picturing the flow of events through images he creates in his mind from your words. If early in your story you say something like, “The rabbit jumped in a hole”, and later you mention the hole was in a tree and not the ground, you have completely destroyed the reader’s flow of images. It is difficult for a reader to reverse his imagination once it has been set in motion. Always be descriptive and never leave a reader to guessing what you meant for him to see.

You nailed the movie part in my mind in just the first two paragraphs. Problem was, I didn't know if the main character was a male or female until mention of putting on the perfume. From there, I had to go back and put some pieces together in my mind of the images I had to leave out. If I were to suggest anything, I would establish the gender earlier in this piece.

There are a lot of writers out there who put things to words, but end up not having a story intent. This one confused me a bit. I assume from what I was reading is this is a woman who met a guy on-line and was about to meet him for the first time. The confusing part was mention of photos of him with his girlfriend. Ie..., "I realise only now that I don’t actually know what he looks like other than the odd pictures that he posts with his girlfriend." You would think a guy wanting to meet someone he finds on line would not post photos of himself with another girl. That made me doubt what I construed as the intent of the story.

Your abilities to paint pictures in your reader's mind is spot-on. I was disappointed with the end because the meeting did not take place in this story. I felt betrayed because that was the part I was most interested in seeing if she was happy or sad about her choice to see a stranger she knew nothing about. And, there could be the fact that I may have completely misunderstood your story intent altogether. No one should ever walk away from a story feeling that way. This is a good piece that I think could be made great with just a few changes.
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